• Member Since 2nd Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Dec 28th, 2020


Q(^_^Q). The friendliest misanthrope you'll ever meet.


When Dash discovers her feelings for Big Mac, she realizes that no pony knows why he is so quiet. She sets out to learn where he is from and why he doesn't talk. Will the answers give her the courage to ask him out to Hearts and Hooves day?

Proofread by: Gage of Grandiloquence, Midnight Spark
Rated teen for suggestive themes.
Inspired by The Many Secret Origins of Scootaloo

Unbiased Reviews:
TheWaffler: I wasn't expecting Final Destination, Of Mice and Men, CSI Miami and Superman all in one chapter.
Loeden: Oh man, dat RP scene.. I couldn't breathe, from laughing so much.
TheWaffler: Twilight takes the phrase "knowledge is power" to whole new level.
kingtiger666: SONIC RAINGASM!

Chapters (14)
Comments ( 221 )

All of my love. This stuff, even if it's mostly based on dry humour, is my favourite.

2226799 thanks, it seemed like a fun idea. Now I just have to think of a dozen more wacky back stories, and resist the urge to make 'Big' Mac jokes.

First of all, I'm just happy you did MacinDash ship. Nobody really cares a lot for that ship and I greatly appreciate it. Second, I love how you portrayed Vinyl, and Octavia seems pretty legit. So I'll keep an eye out for this story. You started of good, now let's see what shall be next. In other words, great start. :twilightsmile:

2226887 I have a tendancy to have "philosopher Big Mac" scenes in my other stories, so I figured I should expand that. Glad you liked the shipping, I suppose this is my first 'shipfic'. The only Mac ship I've heard is flutter, so that's out for being the most common. I didn't want Twilight, because she was in the Scootaloo story. Thus, DashinMac was born :)

After all, a mare that cool deserves the largest stallion in Ponyville.:rainbowdetermined2:

2226932 I hope so, already taking notes anytime an idea for a new story pops in my head.

well, to say the least, you have captured my attention, i will be reading when you return to us with another chapter.

2227115 Thanks, that's what I hoped for. That, and some sleep.

*no pressure, just have to impress everypony so I don't get banished* :twilightoops:

I just know I'm gonna love this.

2228045 2228615 Thank you. :twilightsheepish:

Everyone's encouragement is pushing me to release the next chapter. I'm going to the Cloudsdale Congress this weekend, it's my first MLP convention. So I'll try to put out Pinkie's chapter tonight before I go.

I'm gonna read he shiz outta this :rainbowkiss::eeyup:

I'm already loving this and particularly enjoy the reference to the other fanfic. Please keep writing. :heart::pinkiecrazy:

2230486 You're in luck, it just got updated. :pinkiehappy:
2228928 That's the quote I want printed on the front cover when this gets released as a novel.

pinkie and the brae brae brae brae brae :pinkiehappy:

It's confirmed. Braeburn is a genius, and Pinkie is insane. :pinkiecrazy:

In Pony Fleming's
Are Forever"

2230755 There's a movie I'd pay to see in theaters, and not wait to download off the internet.

Wait, You ship BraePie too? I'd tell you I love you, but I ain't that kind of guy!

This reminds me a lot of one of my favorite fics: The Secret Origins of Scootaloo, where Character-A wants to know about Character-B and all the other characters give a BS story about Character-B's origin story and in the end Character-A just has to go to the source. I'm gonna put my money on the fact that Mac isn't shy, it's that no one actually takes 2 minutes to talk to him.

As for the chapter good references: James Bond, True Lies and Pinkie and the Brain. You have my fav and my like.


So much Archer here, its sad.

2231364 I know she wasn't wearing socks and fish nets for the buffalo. Pinkie was clearly performing a mating ritual.

2231426 Thanks. I also plan to diverge from that formula, this just allows me to do what I do best: be random. The ship fic, love triangle, near-clop moments to mess with readers, etc... Is incoming. Nothing like a wave of favorites and the threat of utter failure to make me slow down and plan ahead. :trixieshiftright:

2231450 Someone grab me a fry meme, not sure if you really hate Archer. On the bright side, it's not like I can use him again. :twilightsheepish:

Inside the next car was a snowmobile.

Forget about Mayojar77, I love you.

Janitor? Solving math problems? Late at night?
What you did there.
I see it.

2233364 :trollestia:


2232223 Whew, for a second there I thought I should have stuck to the bond theme. Pinkie is enjoying season four so far. :pinkiehappy:

You didn't want to give him a big MAC-10?

2234588 That would have been a great pun, maybe Detective Mac or Batmac will use a MAC-10.

Bit of a rough start. But it shows potential.

And then it took a really bad turn...

I think you mean "ciao"- unless you're talking about these guys. upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/6/62/ThreeChao.JPG



And you're back. Much better chapter. Hm... a proofreader would help a lot.

Much more organic material compared to the other chapter, with a genuine "sitcom" situation. I like it. One more chapter, let's see what you can do.

2236751 Thanks for hanging in there. As you can probably tell, it's evolved from "utter chaos" to an actual plotline. I was just going to copy the Secret Origins of Scootaloo, but since it got popular I'm going to stop gundecking it, and turn it into a proper story. I still plan to have funny back stories, but nothing on the level of the Archer crossover. It was Pinkie, after all.

2236718 Confound it, I was in Italy for three years and I still can't speak or spell a single word of Italian properly. I want to move back to California and start speaking Spanish again.

Your premise has a new ship, merely functional plot, but unlimited characterization potential.

^ See, my editors are already keeping me on the straight and narrow. :pinkiehappy: The trick is to manage my inherent randomness with a coherent plot.

getting good keep it coming :D

2237269 Thank you, I shall. I think I hinted before, but the next two chapters are going to be special. I'll probably release them together since they are two halves of a whole. . . I have said too much! :pinkiecrazy:

It says that you hired me.
Does this mean I'm getting paid?

How did Trixie both beat Rainbow to Sweet Apple Acres and turn all the Apples into Oranges before Rainbow got there?

2238715 Because Dash stopped to talk to Scootaloo. Also, magic.
2238121 Yes, but the type of currency is non-negotiable. In this case, it is muffins.

2241283 That's what I was going to get anyways. Just cutting out the middle man.

2241374 If you like Derpy, and muffins, you'll love her segment in Double Rainboom. (and I'll never tell, mwahaha :trollestia:)

This story makes me smile, but kind of hurts my head at the same time! Still like it though.

And of course Pinkie hears voices.

I love this pairing, and this story is very entertaining :pinkiehappy: you're doing a great job! Can't wait for the next update!

2255770 They're friendly voices, the kind that just want to have fun and invite ponies over to make cupcakes.

ll the charlatans, royal families, and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' . . . and I'll whisper 'no.' "

Thanks to the Watchmen novel and movie (Rorschach actor: Jackie Earle Haley) which I can only hear his voice when Dash monologues to herself. It also seems that you took some of Batman's dialogue from the Christopher Nolan films towards the end of Mr. Cake's story.

Speaking of Mr. Cake it was great to see him acting as Mac's friend and dispenser of wisdom, but based on his origin story for Dash and how he mentions Diamond Dogs every other paragraph, he might be a tad racist towards the bipedal canines.

This whole chapter was great, plus it was nice to see the Party B (Mac) character that the Party A (Dash) is hunting the origin for, speak and offer insight and even ask his own questions over the origin of Party-A. It's a really good twist on this type of story.

2255857 Thanks, it was also very interesting to write. Very likely that I'll do it again, (and editor just sent advice for improving the dynamics between Mac and the other stallions.)

I do get the feeling from time to time the ponies are racist. Curse you, racist barn! Ahem. Anyway, I switched it from the watchmen intro + batman story (with dash as catwoman) to an all-out Film Noir style. It was much more fun, and I was even told to make it more brutal / descriptive. :pinkiecrazy:

So... Trixie's story was actually relatively true... Interesting.

Fluttershy's got moonshine. Calling it.

2256691 It was. Not sure where that's headed, but I wanted it on the table.
2256985 I like it, and when I say that the ideas usually find a way into the next chapter.
:fluttershysad: Here Dash, I use this for disinfecting wounds, it's 160 proof so be careful...
:rainbowkiss: *coughing* awesome!

Any thought on the parallel chapters?

( •_•)⌐■-■ “So, you could say the Apple’s parents finally reached...

(⌐■_■)...Their final destination.”

Snowflake burst into the room. "YEEEEAAAHHH!!!"

I wasn't expecting Final Destination, Of Mice and Men, CSI Miami and Superman all in one chapter. :twilightsheepish:

2257806 Neither was I :pinkiegasp:
It turned out well, I think. I found a balance of actual plot development, and ridiculous rumors. :rainbowdetermined2:

Also, you get to be the first 'totally unbiased review' in the story description. That was a nice sentence for a quote :)

more plz really enjoying:pinkiehappy:

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