• Member Since 5th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen May 10th

Shrapmo


I am the original Gentleman Cat! Cheers Meow!!!

T
Source

Big Macintosh and Rainbow Dash, two vastly different ponies with very similar desires: to be recognized, respected and if they play their cards right... maybe even loved. Follow these two souls as they get to know one another, and together, find out what they are really made of.

Chapters (4)
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Comments ( 57 )

Well it looks like it's off to a good start, MacDash isn't that common but I am partial to it. And I've also sent in a request to have it added to the MacDash Group.

Your grammar's good for the most part. I only noticed a spelling error in that you wrote 'idle' instead of 'idol'.

Your pacing is also to be admired. I'm more used to longer paragraphs, but I can't say that's a bad thing. Nothing terrible about this so far, but nothing much else spectacular about it either.

Also, Celestias Paladin's request for this to be administered into the MacDash group has been granted.

Keep Writing.

Brilliant start. Exposition feels natural. Flow is consistent. Pacing is slow, but not painful.
9.5/10.0

This is pretty good! If you haven't already, you should try to find an editor for the few typos still left in the fic. Other than that, It's been a long time since I've read new Mac and Dash, so I hope you plan on continuing this soon!

Nice Start! I wonder what mac is up too :rainbowhuh: And why Rainbow is following him :rainbowderp:

2928656
Thank you very much! I just saw that Black has approved it so my story is in the group! :rainbowkiss:

2934990
You're welcome, you've got the Admin for the group and Bronis Maximus on you side as well. I look forward the next chapter

2930367
Thank you very much for the critique good sir! I will take it to heart and do my best, the short paragraphs were kind of an experiment that I really don't know why I did, but I plan on keeping them to keep the flow of the story steady. I'll need to get an editor as well.

2931004
Thank you very much! I do plan on getting an editor to help me out. Currently I use to process of rereading several times and then read it again after the final edit (but you always notice things you want to change). Thanks again!

Can I just say how awesome it is to have two of my favorite writers comment on my story? I couldn't be happier!:pinkiehappy:

2930980
Haha! I will do my best to live up to your score!:twilightsmile:

(read black text in the most evil tone you know and orange in moronic henchmen tone for full effect)

Yessss, yesssss this will work out perfectly.... I have found what appears to be a good story.... My plan will now come into fruition, and no one will dare stop me! What is my plan you ask? You will see YOU WILL ALL SEE!!! MUAHAHAHA!

But sir, what are you talking about? I thought you just wanted to read a good romance fiction involving a non lesbian Rainbow Dash???


............................Shut up you fool.......

And why are you using the voice changer?

...........I will kill you by shoving the binary code that is this story down your throat....

How will it taste?

..........Excuse me?

Like is it smooth and easy to follow or choppy and with poor spelling?

......Smooth and with good grammer....soooo good, I guess....

Horay!! Im gonna eat a good story!

.......No I will eat the story first so you can't have it....MUHAHAHA!

OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

OH YESSSSSSSS!

But I need to know what happens!!!

NO, now as your punishment go and feed my sharks while I sit here and wait for the next chapter.

That doesn't seen so bad... Where is the shark food?

......I don't have any....

YOU. ARE. A. TERRIBLE. PONY.

......I know....

AHHHHHHH!!!! MY LEG!!!!!!

MUHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2959090
Why thank you, I was feeling quite bored so instead of just complimenting your story I would also bring :rainbowhuh::pinkiegasp::pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh: to anyone who might read this. I hope my self appointed mission was successful.

ok, now you made me curious about the whole thing. So you better hurry the next chapter up soon! ::coolphoto:

(Black text = evil boss voice. Orange text = stuipd henchmen voice)

Yesss, yes, YES! A new chapter to sate my ravenous hunger.
(Gurgle)
This chapter didn't have any detectable spelling errors either.
(Moaning softly)
Although, I did have a problem with the chapter length.
(Squirming in agony)
The chapters are too short to be used to fuel my super weap...... I mean, enjoyment.........
MY LEG IS GONE!!!
Shut up you fool! Anyway, the chapters neen to be longer for my superweapENJOYMENT. I said enjoyment... Remember longer is better.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I should really do something about him.
(Sobbing) I'll never be able to fly again......
YOU ARN'T EVEN A PEGASUS!
..............Why do you have to rub it in?
(Sighs while shakes head) Back to the matter at hand... You need to update faster because my sharks are getting hungery........
(Help me................please)
What did you say?
Nothing..........
Hmmmmm........ Anyway I await your next chapter. Now.......... let us see about some bandages...... Can't have you dieing on me...... I might still have a use for you, you ugly retard.
But my mommy always me I was beautiful little mass murderer.....
...........................

3010542
Keep it up, and you might just get a long chapter! :rainbowderp:

This is shaping up to be a awesome story keep it up and thanks for the read.

3019627
Thanks for reading! I'm doing my best with this one, I am using an experimental writing process for the story and so far so good.

uuuuuuuuuuuy:twilightoops:! they have to get it back!!!!:twilightblush: together!!!!:raritywink:

To his surprise, Mac no longer held his ukulele. His arms were now full of a very-disheveled looking Rainbow Dash. The farmer closed his eyes and shook his head several times. When he opened them, the pretty mare was still there.

Love it. :pinkiehappy:

(Black text = evil boss voice. Orange text = stupid henchmen voice)

Yessss, my subtlety telling you to make longer chapters is working........
Wha..... What...........Huh..... I don't............?
Ah, it appears my assistant is finally waking up.
Where am I......?
You are recovering from your lost legs.
WHYAREBOTHOFMYFRONTLEGSGONE!!!!!
There were complications.............
LIKE WHAT???
Well...... the extra long chapter distracted me................. and I missed with the cleaver when removing your bitten stump........
..............That sounds reasonable.........I guess I can't complain...
See, I knew you would understand.
I going to need some glasses...
WHY DO YOU NEED GLASSES???
To read the story, of course!
You need help.
And some glasses, because my eyes are bad.
You can only read the story if you promise to work on increasing your IQ.
That's going to be hard without forelegs.
I may have an idea.............
That doesn't sound reassuring......

don't quack in the dark,

I'm pretty sure that should be "quake", unless the foals are making duck sounds.

3316491
Sorry about the delay, classes have taken over my life and writer's block reared it's ugly head. Although I have found inspiration again with the Mac/Dash group challenge which I am making a oneshot for. After midterms tomorrow I will work on both the new story and the next chapter for this one at the same time. Thank you for reading, and also your patience. :twilightsmile:

Welcome back and the romance is building up, finally confessions given.

3862851 Thank you very much! The Rainbow Dash that lives deep inside of me was tired of waiting and wanted things to be kicked up a notch!!!:rainbowdetermined2:

3862885 well that slight rush may have played to your advantage.

And here's another chapter... how lovely.
The only complaint I could find to make is the red one's lack of assertiveness. He comes off too meek for what he is; an over-sized man-horse-cartoon thing.
Other than that, it was an enjoyable read, as always. Well done.

He asked with a cock of his massive head.

Cue inappropriate snickers. :trollestia:

Also, I see you went with CPR. Classy. However, since it's fiction about magical talking ponies, I'll give it a pass.

Very nice chapter, but I found something you may want to edit.

Big Mac frantically brought Rainbow out of the pound and set her on the shore.

That should be probably be "pond".

Daaamn, Dash sure is aggressive. Mac is in for one wild ride.

“What?” He asked with a cock of his massive head.

...what that innuendo on purpose!?

3864511 Fixed! (Turns out I had mispelled "pond" the entire chapter!!!:twilightoops:)


3864835 Changed it! It wasn't on purpose and that's the second time someone called me on it, so I just typed something else. Thank you!

3865088 damn...did you have sex on your mind when you wrote this? Accidental innuendos and accidentally spelling it pound instead of pond :facehoof:

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