The Secret Story of Big Mac

by Kaidan

11. A Modest Proposal

Big Mac pulled a seat out for Dash, and she quickly sat down. Despite dating for a while, she still wasn’t used to things like fancy restaurants, or Celestia forbid, wearing a frou frou dress.

Big Mac sat down, and together they surveyed the restaurant. Ratatouille was a new restaurant in town, but tonight it was only half full. Dash began nibbling on a bread stick absent-mindedly as they waited for their waiter.

Tonight was the night he was going to ask her the big question. He had spent an entire week barely getting any sleep as he stayed up, imagining all the ways she could say no. Eventually he had decided it was time to put his big colt pants on, pony up, and ask her.

The waiter came to take their order, then left.

“So, that was a fun story we made up to mess with all the towns ponies,” Dash said.

“Eeyup.”

“The whole vampire idea you came up with was hilarious.”

“Eeyup.”

Dash raised an eyebrow. “Are you okay?”

“Eeyup.”

Dash looked around for some cause of his nervousness. “I don’t get it, why are you nervous?”

“Ah uh—”

The waiter came back and set their food down on the table.

“Ah would like the wings, they’re my favorite,” Mac said.

Dash pouted and looked down at the friccased meal in front of them. “Aww, but you know I love the wings. Plus, it tastes like chicken, so it won’t go to my hips.”

“Fine, ah’ll take one wing but ah get three legs!”

“Fine, and I get the breasts!”

Dash reached down and plucked the apple out of Scootaloo’s mouth. She then tore off a wing and dug in. Big Mac joined her and in a few minutes they had devoured the young filly whole.

Mac smiled, and pulled out the bracelet his father had given to his mother. “Dash, will ya marry me?”

Dash frowned. “No, I won’t.”

Mac’s mouth flew wide open. “What?”

“You’re the main course, and I never marry dinner.”

He felt something hit him over the back of the head, and was dragged back into the kitchen.

---

“Aaahh!” Big Mac yelled. He woke up in his bed, sweating and with his sheets thrown everywhere. Once he realized it was just a nightmare he slowly began to calm down.

“Ya gotta be kiddin me, just ask her already!” Apple Bloom shouted from the next room over.

“Apple Bloom, get yer caboose back in bed!” Applejack shouted.

“All of ya are gonna hush or ah’ll grab my walker and beat ya with it!” Granny yelled.

“Eeyup,” Mac whispered.

His family was great, but didn’t appreciate being woken up in the middle of the night.

---

The evening had an eerie feel to it as he met Dash for dinner. He pulled out her chair and went to sit down. If he hadn’t pinched himself twice, Big Mac might have thought this was another dream. He checked the pocket on his coat again to make sure the bracelet was still there.

“This dress is kinda itchy. I think Rarity is still upset about me making fun of her and Applejack, and did it on purpose,” Dash said.

A brown stallion walked up. “Welcome to Ratatouille. May I get you something to drink, or some appetizers?”

“Oh, I’ll have Scootaloo,” Dash said.

“What?” Mac replied. He gulped nervously, and smiled.

“I’m getting tomato juice, you want any?”

Mac chuckled. “Sure. Can ah get some garlic bread too.”

“Coming right up,” the waiter said.

The two sat there looking at each other. Mac could feel the sweat forming on his brow, and Dash was watching him like a hawk. He had to start a conversation to reduce the tension until after dinner.

“So, how’s the weather?” Big Mac asked. He kicked himself mentally for such a silly question.

“Good. We’re scheduling sun tomorrow and partly sunny the rest of the week with a forty percent chance of rain,” Dash explained.

Mac chuckled again. “Ah never got that, how’s it a forty percent chance of rain if ya control the weather?”

“Easy,” Dash answered. “We have a twenty-sided dice we roll to decide if it rains or not. It needs to be about. . . twelve or higher to rain. If it rolls a twenty, then we start a flash flood.”

“Ya can’t be serious,” Mac said. “That’s gotta be the craziest thing ah heard, and ah’m datin’ you!”

She broke out laughing and brushed her mane out of her face when she was done. “Yeah, we just flip a coin.”

The waiter returned with their tomato juice and garlic bread. “Are you ready to order?”

“I’ll have the hay fry nacho supreme,” Dash said.

The waiter looked baffled and glanced at Big Mac.

“Dash, ah don’t think they do that here.”

“What, I get all dressed up and I can’t have some hay fries?”

“I can bring you hay fries, but one does not simply order nachos at a five hoof restaurant,” The waiter stated. He lifted his nose up in the air.

“Okay, then lots of hay fries and what ever salad has the most cheese, croutons, and fresh alfalfa in it,” Dash said.

“A petunia, daffodil, and chrysanthemum sandwich for me, with extra pickles,” Big Mac stated.

Dash laughed. “Look at you, getting all fancy and taking me to a frou frou dinner at the last minute.”

“I’ll be right back,” the waiter said.

“Eeyup.”

“You aren’t dying or something are you? Because we’ve got the Iron Pony competition coming up, and I’ll need you to help me train.”

“Nope,” he answered. “Ah just wanted ta treat ya to a special dinner.”

“Okay,” she said. “But I’ve got my eye on you.”

Big Mac took a bite of the garlic bread and realized how dry his throat was getting. He drank some of his tomato juice and watched Dash eat her own bread.

Dash couldn’t think of anything to talk about. Normally she didn’t have to try so hard, they just each did their own thing. But tonight he seemed on edge, and it was making her nervous. Just the suspicion something was up threw a wrench into what little she had learned about dating.

“So, grow any new vegetables lately?” Dash asked.

“Nope.”

“Uh, still got asparagus in the field?”

Mac shook his head. “It was givin Applejack some mighty fierce smelling uri—ah mean, nope.”

Dash chuckled. “Okay then, what about the Crusaders? They manage to make it a week without wrecking your barn?”

“Eeyup.”

“That’s good, I just hope it stays that way.

The waiter returned and sat their food down. As he lifted the lid, Mac saw Scootaloo sitting there for a second before he shook his head and cleared the nightmare from his mind. It was just a very large sandwich, cut diagonally, with no crust. There were herbs and decorative leaves around it, and three pickle slices on the side.

Dash looked down at her salad and her eyes lit up in joy. Before her sat a large salad with extra cheese, extra croutons, plenty of ranch dressing, and a side of hay fries. Instead of lettuce, it just had tons of alfalfa.

She dumped the hay fries in the salad and mixed them together, barely keeping herself from drooling. While Mac tried to find a polite way to eat his fancy sandwich, Dash began shoveling salad into her mouth with her fork.

Mac smiled, thinking about how cute she was when she ate like a slob. The fact she wasn’t ladylike was one of the things he liked about her. And yet, when she decided to put on a dress or style her mane, she became more beautiful than Celestia herself. There was just something about that roguish charm hiding the beautiful mare underneath that let him know he couldn’t live without her.

Dash looked up and finished chewing her food. “Hey ya gonna eat or what?”

Mac glanced down and saw his sandwich hadn’t been started. “Eeyup.” He lifted the first half up and began to eat it.

They continued to enjoy dinner until only a few bits of food were left, and the waiter brought them out some champagne.

“Oh, nice. You know, we should go to a club after this,” Dash said.

“Ah think ah’d like that, but ya may change your mind when ya hear what I have to say,” Mac explained.

Dash gulped. She knew this had been too good to be true. He had brought her here to break up with her! Or, maybe he was gay, or couldn’t have kids, or was a spy! It was horrible, and she had been having nightmares about what would happen if half the rumors the town was spreading were true.

Mac got up and walked around the table. He knelt down in front of her, and reached into his pocket.

Dash’s mind froze, stuck in a loop of omigosh omigosh omigosh omigosh! The pieces were finally clicking together.

“Dash, ah spent my whole life plowin’ fields and bein’ alone, and ah didn’t think there was any other way o’ livin’. Then ya started hanging round my sis and ah saw all that energy ya had, your personality, your beauty. That was when ah knew ah had to get ta know ya, and even though it took me a while ta get the courage, ah’m glad ah did. Now ah know there’s no way ah could live my life without ya.”

Big Mac pulled out a golden hoof bracelet. “Will ya marry me?”

Dash’s breath caught in her throat as time seemed to slow down. She felt the eyes of every patron in the restaurant staring at her, but couldn’t tear her eyes away from Big Mac and his engagement bracelet.

“Yes! Omigosh yes!” Dash shouted. She dove on top of Big Mac hugging him

“What’d she say?”

“She said yes. How couldn’t you hear that, Pinkie?”

“Well Applejack and Rarity were smooching too loud”

“Were not!”

“Were to!”

“Um. . . quiet down?”

Dash stopped hugging Big Mac and turned to face the whispering voices that had sounded so familiar. She returned her attention to him as she felt the bracelet slide over her hoof and click into place.

“This is so awesome! Come on, let’s go get Twilight to put the cloud walking spell on you and you can spend the night at my place,” Dash said.

Mac gulped. “Eeyup!”

“Oh this is so awesome! They’re going to make baby rainboom—”

“Pinkie!”

“What? It’s ju—oh no, twitchy knee!”

The tablecloth was thrown back at the nearby table. Dash floated there with her hooves crossed and saw her five friends huddled underneath the table, eavesdropping.

Twilight grinned sheepishly. “I uh—it’s Rarity’s idea! She bribed the jeweler to find out Mac’s plan, and wanted us to all come watch you get engaged!”

“It was not—”

“Hush, Rarity,” Applejack said. “Hey, sugar cube, congratulations!”

Dash laughed. “Damn right congratulations!” She dove down into a large group hug with her friends. “I’m so glad you’re all here, this calls for a party. Then I have to take Mac to my place for some ‘hot coffee’!”

Author's Note:

Edited by: Abcron
Written during my one-shot week.

Comments

[Darth Wedgius]

And that was only the second worst thing to happen to Scootaloo that day...

[Magical Trevor]

2901041 Second worst? I thought it was third worst because of... Well, you know. I guess it's all about perspective...

[Darth Wedgius]

By the way... Cannibalism? "A Modest Proposal"?

Yeah, I see what you did there.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Yeah, we just flip a coin.

Wuh... but...
That just raises further questions! How the heck do you get a 60:40 probability split? Are there specially weighted coins for each increment of five percent?

MST3K mantra, FoME. Just relax...

In any case,

2901041
She didn't ask Luna to take her dreamwalking for a month afterwards.
Hmm, that's actually an interesting idea.

[UncleRemil]

Love it.

[The Yaoi Mistress]

what? since when is complete??? WHY??? Yesterday it was incomplete! what happened??? or it just me?

[Captain Unstoppable]

Amazing story! I hope you do another MacDash in the future!

[Buckin Bronco]

this story was great. defiantly had me laughing ever chapter quite abit.. but it didn't show much more of LunaShy. also it never really did reveal the truth of there pasts

[KarmaDash]

This needs a sequel