4b. Vinyl's Version
The wind whipped past Dash as she fled the scene of her latest embarrassment. How could I be so stupid? Mac was right there, I should have said something.
Dash looked around as she zoomed through town. Each colored blur flashing by represented a house. The green blur was the Golden Oak's library. The white and purple, Carousel Boutique, and a pink blur for Sugarcube Corner.
With a long sigh, she circled around and landed outside the marketplace. "First thing is first," she assured herself. "I need to calm down, and figure out which pony to ask for advice." She began to walk slowly, hoping to relax and enjoy the sunlight. Her body had other plans as it began releasing pheromones signaling she was a young, fertile mare.
Dash began to look around the marketplace. Several stallions seemed to be paying her a little extra attention. She flung her mane out of her eyes and put on her best scowl. With eyes set forward, nose scrunched, and teeth visible she stomped down the middle of the marketplace. "Nice. . . calm. . . walk. Breathe in. . . Breathe out. . ."
A cat call to her right caused her ears to swivel, and she stopped in her tracks. A large, light brown stallion with blonde hair stood behind a cherry stand. Despite a week's worth of stubble, he swaggered out from behind the booth. "Hey there, beautiful. I hear you're the fastest mare in Equestria, want to meet the fastest stallion?"
Dash snorted. It never ceased to amaze her how a few hormones and a little redirected blood flow could turn a stallion into a complete moron. She had been frustrated, embarrassed, and lead on a wild goose chase. She was not in the mood for this. "Sorry, I prefer my stallions to have stamina, not speed. Maybe you can go find a glory hole."
Dash resumed her angry trot through town. She had been convinced mere moments ago it would help her cool down. There was some laughter from other vendors in the market, and then the next stallion approached to try his luck.
"Did that hurt?" a stallion asked Dash.
"Did what hurt?"
"Did it hurt when you fell out of the sky, because you're an angel."
Dash shot the stallion a nasty glance. He looked like the guy who was obsessed with tubs of jelly. Despite his unoriginality, at least his pickup line had been a compliment. She ignored it and kept on walking, hearing some condolences from the other stallions behind her.
Despite her best efforts to deny the fact, her libido was advertising itself and drawing too much attention on the ground. "The stallions in this town are such animals," she spat under her breath.
Right before she could fly up to the safety of the clouds, another stallion stepped out in front of her. The smell of whiskey hit Dash in the face, before the stallion put together a coherent sentence. "You want an animal, I bet I could rut the arousal right out of you."
Dash had enough of this.
Spinning around she bucked the stallion in his shoulders, narrowly missing his neck. It threw him back into his watermelon stand, sending a spray of red pulp in all directions. Dash used the momentum of the kick to launch into the air. She flew in a wide circle around town. Speeding up, barely twenty feet over the marketplace, she broke the sound barrier.
Market stalls were overturned, a few windows shattered, and several horny stallions were put in their place. Still, it did not make Dash feel any better. She already had the perfect stallion in mind, and she had just bucked it up.
It was time to ask Mac out, but what mare could she trust for dating advice? The answer came to her when she recalled Bon Bon and Lyra. Surely the two roommates had met their share of stallions, and mares, so they might have some advice.
After a few minutes of circling around town she reached their house. Dash landed on the doorstep, her stress finally relieved by the high-speed flight through the streets of Ponyville. She didn't doubt that Mayor Mare or Twilight would be lecturing her tomorrow about the dangers of breaking the sound barrier ten yards away from obnoxious stallions. Tonight, however, she would find out how to ask Big Mac out. Then, she'd give him the time of his life.
Dash knocked on the door. "Coming," a voice sounded from inside. "Lyra, quit sitting like that, we have company!"
The door swung open to reveal Bon Bon in her kitchen apron. "Hey Bonny, how's it going?" Dash asked.
"Dash, wonderful of you to stop by." Bon Bon's smile faded as she noticed her disheveled hair and barely suppressed rage. "Oh dear, are you alright? Do come in."
Dash walked in and flopped on a nearby couch. "You ever got a question you want to ask somepony but it just seems too awkward to ask your best friend?"
"I knew it! You're in love with Pink—" Lyra was cut off when Bon Bon glared daggers at her.
"Lyra! Sorry about that Dash. What's got you so troubled that you'd come pay us a visit?" Bon Bon sat on a nearby chair.
"I've got feelings for Big Mac." Dash paused for a second while Lyra gasped loudly. "And I'm not sure how to ask him out, and I just get this feeling Applejack won't like it. Or Big Mac will just say no. I know Fluttershy and Twilight haven't been on any dates, Pinkie is insane, and I'd never live it down if anypony knew I was asking Rarity for dating advice."
"Oh Dash," Bon Bon sighed softly. "You're so hard on yourself, confiding in your friends won't change how they feel about you."
"What about my image? The tryouts for the Wonderbolts? I can't have everypony thinking I've gone soft."
"Which would you rather have, a special somepony to be happy with for the rest of your life, or a spot on the Wonderbolts?" Bon Bon asked.
"Oh!" Lyra added. "Don't pick the obvious one!" She received another stare from her roommate, silencing her.
"I can't be around him, as soon as I see him working on the farm, or catch a whiff of his scent. . . it just turns my brain to mush. All I can think about is whether or not he likes me."
Lyra leaned over towards Bon Bon. "Oh, she does have it bad."
"How do you think Mac feels around you?" Bon Bon inquired. "I've never heard him say more than two words, he's probably more scared of you then you are of him."
Dash just sat their quietly for a bit, enjoying the serenity of a quiet house with not a stallion in sight.
"Anyway, I believe your question was how to ask Mac out on a date. I'll tell you, but no more avoiding the issue," Bon Bon chuckled. "You've seen Pinkie, Twilight, even Fluttershy get worked up over nothing. Now you're all wound up, ready to snap. I'm telling you, it doesn't matter what anypony thinks as long as you're happy. And knowing your friends, they'll support you, even Applejack."
"Okay." Dash rolled onto her side, getting comfortable. "Shoot."
"Oh, let me go first," Lyra interjected. Bon Bon sighed, then nodded. "Okay Dash, before you ask him out you should know something about him. . ."
========================================================
It was the evening of the zap apple harvest. John and Martha had just had Applejack, and still lived at Sweet Apple Acres with Granny Smith.
John was just putting the plow away when he heard a loud boom over the west field. He turned in time to see something streak below the tree line, raising an awful ruckus.
He hurried over to investigate, and found an odd pod with a baby inside. . . a human baby.
========================================================
"Nope," Bon Bon chided. "You're done Lyra, go practice your lyre while the adults talk."
"Bon Bon! Humans are real. And Mac was one of them!"
"Was?" Dash asked.
"Don't encourage her," Bon Bon recommended.
"Yeah! Celestia didn't want anypony to know that the human homeworld exploded, or that the last son of Earth was here among us. She cast a spell, turning him into an Earth Pony. The Apple's raised him as a son—" Lyra was cut off again.
"Alright, Lyra. You've had your fun, now give us a moment or you're not going to get any pie tonight." Bon Bon watched and waited for her to leave.
"Aww, alright." Lyra got up and walked upstairs.
"Ahem, now Dash, if you're ready for some real advice?" Bon Bon asked.
"Yeah, I am. Otherwise, why would I be couch surfing my way around town taking dating advice from random ponies?"
"Alright. Now asking a stallion out is the easy part, the hard part is figuring out if they're good coltfriend material. Before I tell you how to ask him out, I'm going to tell you how he really moved to Ponyville. . .
========================================================
Jersey Mac and Big Mac were best friends. The two of them went from farm to farm, harvesting crops for a living. Mac was strong, and Jersey was smart. Together they were able to harvest fields and bring in a healthy profit.
Now, Jersey loved Mac like a brother. When Mac got in a little trouble in Fillydelphia, the two decided to find a more rural place to work as farmhands. You see, Mac had a dream of being a Lagomorphologist. He was going to have his own animal farm, and everything. Jersey would remind him of the dream to keep him motivated.
Now Mac had such an affection for the critters that'd he'd often pet furry farm animals. One day he touched a mare the wrong way and got run out of town. So, the two arrived at Dodge Junction. It was rural, but it also didn't support many crops.
So Mac and Jersey found a farm and worked hard to keep their job. Mac was stronger than anypony else on the farm, and soon Jersey was put to work taking deliveries into town. He trusted Mac to be on his own, as he had made friends with a couple of the farmers.
One day a colt and his puppy visited the farm, distant relatives or some-such. Mac just loved the puppy, and asked if he could pet it. The colt was happy to oblige the large red stallion. Mac took the puppy and began petting it. He hugged that pony and poured all his affection into it, before he realized he had suffocated it.
The colt ran off screaming when he saw the puppy was dead. The colt's mom comes back to find out why. Mac tells her that he likes stroking soft things. Mac was crying something fierce, and the mare felt mighty sorry for him.
So she calms him down, pats him on the back, and tells him he can pet her mane.
Mac is ecstatic. Her mane was so soft and smooth, he began stroking it. Now the mare got a bit frightened, because Mac was much stronger than he looked. He hadn't meant to hurt her, but she decided after a few rough jerks it was time to leave. Mac didn't want her to go, and pulled more forcefully on her mane.
Mac didn't realize it, but he had snapped her neck. After petting her for a little while longer, he realized what he'd done. He fled the farm, only to be found later by Jersey.
Jersey knew the farmhands were coming for Big Mac. He had brought a knife, and planned to end things peacefully before they caught and punished Macintosh. In the end, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
So they moved to Ponyville. Jersey met a nice mare and married, and they adopted Mac as their son. They worked the farm now known as Sweet Apple Acres. They had two daughters, AJ and Applebloom. When the parent's passed, Mac had matured enough to know he had to keep running the farm. Applejack and Applebloom don't know about his true past, believing them to be his big brother.
Applejack suspects something is up, however, because her dying Pa's last words were: "Don't leave Mac alone with fillies."
========================================================
"And that's why you shouldn't ask Mac out on a date, Dash," Bon Bon concluded.
"Dash?" Bon Bon looked around the room. Dash was gone, and a window was open in the kitchen. "Hmph, well don't expect me and Lyra to come to the funeral."
Lyra's head poked down from upstairs. "Can we get dessert now?
Dash flew low and fast over town. She'd had enough games and gossip to last a lifetime. She had snuck out of the house when she realized Bon Bon was reciting, word for word, a book Dash had been forced to read in high school.
"Surely somepony in this town has to be normal." Dash looked down to spot Trixie walking along a narrow street. "Well, any port in a storm."
Dash floated down to Trixie. "Hey Trix, nice hat.
"Why do you interrupt the Great and Powerful Trixie? Did you come to punish me for the oranges?" Trixie asked.
"Nah, I thought that was hilarious. I'm sure Twilight's fixed it by now anyway. I'd just avoid the apple family if I were you," Dash chuckled.
"Trixie has much to do and little time to do it in. Surely Twilight is onto us now. . . perhaps she shall move up her plans for Big Mac."
"Or perhaps you find a new coltfriend. There are plenty of stallions in the stable." Dash smiled at Trixie, noticing something for the first time. Trixie's hooves looked as worn and chipped like an Earth pony's hooves. Her coat, which was usually as clean as Rarity's, seemed to have some dirt in it.
Trixie seemed to notice Dash's gaze. "You are impressed by Trixie's new muscles? I learned more than how to farm rocks after I was run out of town. Now, The Great and Powerful Trixie has regained her self-confidence."
"That's nice," Dash stated dismissively. "What I was actually thinking, was that you could use a drink. I could use a chat with Vinyl. Why don't the two of us pretend to be friends and go get hammered at the bar?"
"Are. . . are you asking Trixie to hang out?" She tried hard to hide the obvious joy in her eyes, and to stifle a smile.
"Sure, anyone who pranks AJ is alright in my book. As long as you don't go turning somepony into an orange. I saw Twilight turn a frog into a flying orange once. I had nightmares for a week."
"Trixie shall join you to get a hammer."
"Haha, it's get hammered not get a hammer. I can already tell you're gonna be a fun drunk." Dash began flying again so she could tug on Trixie's cape and lead her towards the bar.
It was a short walk to the bar. As they approached, Dash decided to play tour guide. "You know, they named this bar after an infamously ugly Griffon, named Quark."
"Actually," Trixie corrected. "It was named after an infamously hideous ogre. I met him once out near the rock farm. Quite civil, as far as ogres go. Some of the townsfolk would drink his moonshine, then again some of the townsfolk were idiots who ended up in comas. Trixie bets the bartender here was one of the more lucky stallions to sample his wares."
Dash just walked inside quietly. She hadn't expected Trixie to be so knowledgeable about. . . well anything. In fact, Dash realized she'd never even bothered to try to get to know her. She just decided after the bragging and the evil amulet that she must be a wicked mare. "You know Trixie, there seems to be a lot more to ponies than meets the eyes, like you or Big Mac."
"Trixie wishes to discuss something other than Big Mac. Bartender, long island iced tea!" Trixie shot a miniature firework in the air to get his attention.
"Neat trick, I'd like to see you fire off some fireworks after you're drunk." Dash tossed two bits onto the bar. "I've got this round, try to enjoy yourself and stop planning revenge, ok?" Dash smiled warmly and left to find Vinyl.
Dash walked to the small backstage storage room. Vinyl could usually be found in here, along with a giant subwoofer, speakers, and a bottle of liquor the bartender would sacrifice as a retainer for the DJ's services.
"Hey Vinyl," Dash exclaimed. "Uh, Vinyl, why are you sleeping?" Realizing talking to a sleeping mare was unlikely to produce results, she poked her in the ribs.
"Ugh, fifteen more minutes Octy." Vinyl rolled over, curling up on the subwoofer and somehow not spilling a drop of the open, half-empty liquor bottle.
"No, Vinyl, it's me, Dash." Dash poked her in the side again.
"Come on I'm tired and hungover, Octy, go away."
"Wait. . . hungover? How can you be hung over after half a bottle of liquor? How can you be sleepy at 5 pm!"
"You tell me, Octy, after that trick with the cello and the hoofcuffs. . ." Vinyl mumbled and trailed off.
"Alright, I think I've heard enough." Dash turned around, finding the on switch to the stereo equipment. Cranking the bass to the highest levels, she hit the play button.
A loud boom shook the room, tossing Vinyl off the subwoofer. She immediately shot up. "Whoa, wait, the shows started?" Vinyl looked around and saw Dash grinning. "Oh hey, Dash, for a minute there I thought I'd overslept. So, you nail Big Mac yet?"
Dash choked, switching the music off and turning as red as Mac's fur. "Gah. . . what. . . uh. . ." she continued to mutter in embarrassment for a moment. "Vinyl, no! I mean, I almost asked him out, flew off, then I made the mistake of asking Lyra and Bon Bon for advice."
"Haha, relax, I was just messing with you," Vinyl quipped. "I'm sure you two will be wubbing by the end of the night."
"Ugh, why do I put up with you, Vinyl?" Dash saw the DJ levitating the equipment onstage. She lifted a few of the smaller speakers to help out.
"Because I'm the only mare in Equestria who can drink you under a table? I mean, really, who wouldn't want to hang out with the most awesome mare in Equestria. . . Vinyl Scratch."
"Please, I was doing sonic rainbooms before you knew what dubstep was."
"Heh. So, I'm gonna regret this, but what did Bon Bon and Lyra recommend?" Vinyl continued to set up her equipment.
"Well, Lyra is convinced he is a human trapped in Equestria as a pony. Bon Bon was going on about how he is a furry, or strokes furries? I don't know, I bailed halfway into her story. I just wish I knew how his parents really died, but I suppose if it's so personal Applejack wouldn't tell me I should let it go."
"Well, it's not really personal, I mean, they probably just grieve differently or something," she stated as a matter of fact.
"Wait, Vinyl, do you know how they died?"
"Yeah, most of the town does. We're just polite."
"You, polite?" Dash snickered. "Why didn't you tell me how they died when I came to you yesterday?"
"You didn't ask. You wanted to get drunk, and wanted me to tell you if I knew why Mac was so quiet. You know,” Vinyl slyly added. “Some of the best stallions I've been with were the quiet ones."
"So help me, if you don't cut to the chase I'm drinking the rest of your liquor." Dash held the bottle tightly in her hoof. Vinyl tried to snatch it back with her magic, and failed.
"Okay! Don't do anything rash. Just set the bottle down. . . Now, it was around the time Applebloom was born. . ."
========================================================
Macintosh Apple the second was Big Mac's father. His mother was Gala apple. Say, you ever wonder how it is our parents know at birth what to name us? I mean, Applejack's cutie mark could have been in dressmaking. How'd they know at birth she'd want to farm apples? And what if Big Mac was tiny?
"Luna's nipples. . . just stick to the story, Vinyl."
Alright then. After they gave birth to Mac, AJ, and Applebloom, they planned a trip to Canterlot on business. While they boarded the train, Gala had a frightening vision. She saw the train going off the rails on a bridge, killing everypony onboard.
Now Gala was a bit of the superstitious type, so she and Mac Sr. got off the train. A few other ponies got off too, before it left. While they were waiting for the next train, news came in about an accident.
A train had derailed, killing everypony onboard.
The train station was closing down for an investigation. They went home to their kids, thanking Celestia they had not been on the train. They thought nothing of it, at first. . .
It was a few days later that news reached them of a mysterious death in Canterlot. A stallion had been walking down the street, minding his own business. Witnesses claim a shingle fell off a roof, hitting a unicorn who was casting a spell. The unicorn misfired the spell, causing a section of a building to collapse. When the stallion ran over to help, one of the bricks from the explosion landed on his head, killing him.
Stranger things had happened in Equestria so they continued to live in peace. They heard rumors from time to time, of mares and stallions that escaped the train wreck dying in odd ways. I heard one was from auto-erotic asphyxiation, another fell down a well and was stuck for four days until it rained and drowned him.
Anyway, Gala was always the superstitious one. She told her husband her theory, that all the people on the train were dying, one by one, in the order they would have if the train had crashed. According to her, Mac. Sr was next, then her. They were the only two still alive.
Senior wouldn’t buy into that for a second, he didn’t change a thing. He was working out on the farm one day when a wind storm happened. He was heading back to the house to check on his family, when a windmill shattered.
The blades spun through the air, carried by the wind, from the south field, over the barn, landing right between his flank and shoulder.
Gala saw the bloodied prop outside the window, with the two halves of her husband beside it. She panicked, knowing she was next. She didn’t want to die in front of the kids. Gala fled out the back door, mumbling like an insane mare, and headed straight into the Everfree.
Legend has it she made it nearly eight miles into the Everfree. Manticores, Cockatrice, Timberwolves, and far worse creatures avoided her. They could smell the mark of death on her, and none dare interfere. They say that to this day you can hear her ghost moaning on the night of a full moon.
========================================================
Vinyl wrapped up the story. “So, you could say the Apple’s parents finally reached.” Vinyl put on her sunglasses. “Their final destination.”
Vinyl looked over to guage Dash’s reaction. “Hey! Stop drinking my Vodka!”
Dash held a hoof up as she finished off what little liquor had remained. Once she was done, she coughed a couple times. “I—warned you to cut to the chase. And you went and spun another fairy tale.”
“You were holding my booze hostage! I had to think fast, they probably died from something normal anyhow. What’s it matter? You like Mac, not his parents.”
“Hmm,” Dash hiccuped. “I guess you’re right.”
"You're telling me." Vinyl stared longingly at the empty bottle. She hit the strobe lights and began playing her first set of music. "I hate to tell you, Dash, but the bar is packed and the party is started. You should sober up, and go ask Big Mac out."
"I guess so Vinyl, thanks." Dash turned around to see Vinyl with her sunglasses on and a wide grin.
"And when I say ask Big Mac out," Vinyl elaborated. "I mean, ask him out right now" She pointed to the bar where Big Mac and Mr. Cake sat enjoying a drink.
The shock was too much for Dash, who locked her knees as her mind went blank. "No, maybe later," she uttered in reflex.
"No way, Dash. You've fallen hard for him, and I don't say this often, but I think you found something better than one night stands after an all-night party with me!"
Vinyl picked Dash up off the ground slightly with her levitation. The audience was dancing as the DJ multi-tasked. "Vinyl, put me down!" Dash's hooves were only an inch off the floor, but Vinyl had made her point. She'd hover her across the room if she had to. "Alright! I'll ask!"
Vinyl's telekinesis tightened up uncomfortably on Dash before vanishing. "Dash, run!" Vinyl shouted. The music drowned out her warning.
"What Vinyl?" Dash turned to face her. Next to Vinyl stood Pinkie Pie. Her mane was perfectly straight and smooth, as if it were made of plastic sheets. She had a look in her eyes Dash had seen once before, and it scared the buck out of her.
"You broke your Pinkie Promise!" she spat.
"Wha—" Dash's mind raced trying to remember who she had made a Pinkie Promise too.
"Just run!" Vinyl shouted again. Dash didn't need to be told again.
Leaping off the stage Dash flew towards the exit. Pinkie dove after her, grabbing her wing and causing her to spiral out of control. As the floor and ceiling spun around her, Dash collided with a large mass of muscle.
Quickly recovering, she looked down to see Big Mac flattened beneath her hooves. Before he could recover and open his eyes, Dash took off in the direction of the door, blasting it off its hinges.
A shrill laughter followed Dash as she sped through town towards her house. She rounded a corner as she remembered Pinkie was an Earth pony. All she had to do was fly straight up!
As she had this crucial epiphany, a wall of yellow appeared in front of her. It crushed her, coating every hair and feather in its sticky embrace. Dash fell to the ground and splattered the goop everywhere.
"Aha!" Pinkie stood in front of Dash. "You broke your Pinkie Promise to Scootaloo! Say you're sorry!"
"Pinkie! You're bucking crazy!" Dash tried wiping the goop out of her eyes, but more would fall down into them.
"Nopony breaks a Pinkie Promise! Nopony!" Dash could hear Pinkie dancing around her, shaking a can of some sort.
"Dash, that you?" Rainbow Dash did not dare to turn around. She instantly knew who that baritone voice belonged too.
With all the adrenaline pumping through her veins, she did the only thing she could think of. Dash flew. More accurately, she flew about four feet before the gelatinous mass of sticky filth dragged her back to the ground. Rolling across the dirt, she sprung to her feet and ran blindly. Wiping her eyes off as she ran, she ducked behind the first house in sight and headed for Fluttershy's cottage.
"Now, Angel bunny," Fluttershy scolded. " I don't have any cherries, and even if I did, you're not having ice cream this late at night."
Angel whined, waving his arms around and stomping his foot.
"Angel, you need your vegetables to stay healthy." Fluttershy smiled and kneeled down to his level. "You know how much I love you, Angel. I can't go around giving you special treatment all the time. I can let you come with me to Pinkie's next party, how about that?"
Angel stood there thinking for a moment. He crossed his arms and began to walk away.
"Oh thank you, ange—" Fluttershy was interrupted by a knocking at her door. She gently flew over to the door and opened it. "Gah!" Fluttershy's wings snapped shut. She landed with a thud on her hooves, and dove for cover.
"R-run A-a-ngel, it's a g-giant y-y-yellow s-swamp m-m-m-onster!" Fluttershy trembled in the corner, as the white rabbit made several squeaking noises.
"No Fluttershy, it's just," Dash coughed, spitting out some of the sugary mixture. "It's me, Dash."
Fluttershy opened an eye to peak at the figure dripping all over her flooring. Angel continued to make animated gestures and speak in a way only she could understand. "B-but, Dash is b-b-lue. . ."
"Look, apparently I broke a Pinkie Promise and Pinkie went psycho and shot me with this cupcake mix or whatever. I need a shower. A long, cold shower, and all the alcohol you might have laying around the cottage." Dash began wiping her forelegs over her face furiously, uncovering enough bits of blue fur and rainbow mane to convince Fluttershy.
"Oh dear! You poor thing!" Fluttershy quickly went over to hug Dash, causing a loud slurping sound as she wrapped her hooves around her. "Let's get you cleaned up, you're getting this cupcake mix everywhere."
"Uh, thanks. Why don't you lock all the doors and windows while I find your shower." Dash trod off towards the restroom. Angel led all the furry critters in the house to eat all the cupcake mix dripping off Dash. She had to bat away a few of the overzealous birds who tried to eat it right out of her tail.
It didn't take long for Dash to clean up. She looked around the devastated bathroom. Now that she was clean, the entire bathroom and half the shower were coated in quickly-drying batter.
Dash headed downstairs to find her friend. "Hey Flutter, you got a hole I could curl up in and di—" Dash stopped as she saw Applejack talking to Fluttershy. She stood there still as a statue wondering how AJ knew already.
"Oh howdy Dash, ah was just tellin' Fluttershy ah ain't seen Mac all day. He said he saw you out in the orange fields before Twilight fix'd em right up." Applejack smiled once she had finished speaking.
"I was just telling her about your run in with Pinkie, oh it was so horrible Applejack. I don't know what I'd do if I ever broke a Pinkie Promise," Fluttershy added.
"Yeah, I forgot to teach Scootaloo to fly. And, AJ, I ran into Big Mac at the bar. . . literally. He's with Mr. Cake, I'm sure he'll be back soon."
"That's good ta know. He seemed a mite worried 'bout ya after you flew off, so ah thought you two mighta gotten in some trouble. Figured one of the gals would know what was going on." Applejack turned to address Fluttershy. "Well, sorry for troublin' ya, looks like ah got worried over nothing. See ya'll tomorrow."
Fluttershy closed the door behind Applejack.
"Mac was worried about me?" she said to nopony in particular. It hadn’t occurred to her he might have feelings due to the fact that he was a quiet giant. Dash wondered what it would be like to have a real conversation with him.
"Oh that sure was nice of him," Fluttershy stated dismissively. "The Apple family is always nice."
"No, Fluttershy." Dash walked over to her and lowered her voice. "I've got feelings for Big Mac," she whispered. "I've wanted to ask him out for a while, and now I'm in heat—"
"Eeep!" Fluttershy jumped back. "Oh, well um. . . that's great! Did you ask him out?"
"Not exactly. Why don't you find me something I can get drunk stupid off of. Then I'll tell you all about my last two days."
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Fluttershy's got moonshine. Calling it.
2256691 It was. Not sure where that's headed, but I wanted it on the table.
Here Dash, I use this for disinfecting wounds, it's 160 proof so be careful...
*coughing* awesome!
2256985 I like it, and when I say that the ideas usually find a way into the next chapter.
Any thought on the parallel chapters?
( •_•)⌐■-■ “So, you could say the Apple’s parents finally reached...
(⌐■_■)...Their final destination.”
Snowflake burst into the room. "YEEEEAAAHHH!!!"
I wasn't expecting Final Destination, Of Mice and Men, CSI Miami and Superman all in one chapter.
2257806 Neither was I
It turned out well, I think. I found a balance of actual plot development, and ridiculous rumors.
Also, you get to be the first 'totally unbiased review' in the story description. That was a nice sentence for a quote :)
more plz really enjoying
wow, i go away for a short bit and come back to these enjoyable chapters. I must say this story is hilarious. I can't wait to see how it continues.
2261055>>2258279 My 2 day break from writing has already given me plenty of new ideas for all my stories. At this rate, I'll have plenty to release this weekend.
I think another dual-perspective chapter is in order, since I am going to go into the...
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u sir have put a smile on my face happy to know u watch archer i think good day to you looking forward to new great chapters
2262313 Thanks.
Fluttershy. Want. MOAR!!!
HA! love the references in Bon-Bon's story. I was wondering when someone would make the connection to Big Mac. Kudos, my friend.
Ponies in heat... OMG LOL XD
Awesome chapter, loved the references too!
Bonbon seems to have read of mice and men.