Big Macintosh the apple families stoic stallion. The heartthrob of every mare in Ponyville not a filly fooler, has his eyes set on a lavender bookish unicorn mare. Yet in his mind a prismatic mane, a cyan coat and wings, and magenta eyes are clouding his judgment. Still he proceeds to bear his heart to the unicorn, only to have it shoved right back in his face. He strikes up a consoling conversation with the pegasus and over the course of Winter Wrap Up the two draw ever closer. This is a sequel to Soarin's Pink Pie
Chapters (10)
I like it. On a critique note, you might want to have a proof reader go through it before posting. Otherwise good stuff.
I don't know if Applejack really needs to yell at Big Macintosh, Twilight's the one who kind of broke his heart. But I suppose Big Macintosh overreacted.
Intresting please continue.
This is good. I would like to see more.
i would also like to se more sooo please continue
well i think that twilight is the dummy.not big mac
2148002 Thank you I'll try to go over it more in the future. I also plan for another edit in the near future after my break.
2149782 Applejack see's his actions as looking bad on the apple family and possibly being a disrespect to their parents. Yes Twilight did do that. He just saw the way she reacted and felt like all of possible fears came true that instant. He felt like he needed to be alone for a while think things over a bit by himself.
2149808 Not over yet please be patient
2156250 Thank you. It will be continuing shortly after my break ends.
2156761 Thank you for the support and there is more to come.
2159323 Most should and would agree with you from this instance. She's trying to make up for her folly, hard to say if her plans will go well.
Thank you to everypony who took the time to read this and is accepting of this story. If anyone was expecting to find Daring Do in this story I'm very sorry to let you down but she's not here. I just want to say again this an alternate timeline Equestria so not everything is as it would seem in normal cannon Equestria. This story dose not express the only shipping options for Big Mac just one that might be more possible than some.
Awesome story
please continue
Good chapter. I like re-reading it. I just ended up noticing something.
I think you are missing a be between should and something.
*sits there, waiting for the fic to update*
2281186 It did update. I fixed and changed a lot of things. For some reason I don't understand when I save my edit's it doesn't say it was updated.
2281223 I only see two chapters.
2281231 Edit's were to be done before today. New chapters were scheduled for before the end of march. So not right now but soon.
2281241Well, at least I'm hopeful now. Too many MacinDash fics die before they get beyond 3 chapters.
GRAGH! WHY NOTHING UPDATE ON FREQUENT BASIS ANYMORE? MAYO MAD! MAYO SMASH!
2361696 Ok I know not everyone reads my Blog posts but I'm going to give a link to my last one that I made last week that should've been sent to everyone who has this story as a favorite. I know you're interested in what's going on but I keep my fans updated on my Blog I keep my fans up to date as possible there so please I said what was going on last week and I have about 5 days left till I'm late now.Blog Update
The title of this fic is 'Mac's Daring Dash'. I don't think Rainbow has any need to worry at this point.
Also, Twilight only took an interest in Big Mac because Applejack told her she broke his heart. Not a good reason to start a relationship.
moar plz
2393916
Silly pony you can't apply title logic to the thought process of characters in the story. It's unfair to their well being.
2394039
Thank you more is on the way hopefully shortly
2394162 Twilight's just being selfish as always. She's never happy with what she has, she always has to have everything to herself.
love the story so far can't help to lean towards twilight's side only because she is trying to redeem herself
In other words:
You know, I'm kind of surprised that Rainbow is actually thinking this through. Actually thinking of the possible consequences of her actions instead of her normal rush in head first and ignore the fall out till it's way too late.
2400617 I think when Rainbow is full of determination
she thinks things out more than even she realizes she does at times. Besides I think I said somewhere in the A/N for chapter three that part of the reason I've got her thinking things through a bit here is because she's worried about going to fast lost her most recent relationship. So This time she's trying to see if she can take it at just the right speed.
2394665
2394197 She's certainly trying to can't fault her for trying.
Goodnight everypony. Thank you again for the support.
glad to see another chapter and don't give up twilight
great read just wish ya could update a bit quicker, but genius cant be rushed so ill wait
Hm I think I'm leaning towards RainbowMac since Big Macintosh isn't really feeling much like apologizing to Twilight.
glad to see two chapters
You know, I get the feeling this is going to end up being a cycle.
Honestly Big Macintosh just tell your sister you don't love Twilight but that you're sorry for how you reacted. You can fall in love with whoever you want.
Well this should be intresting.
2779290 I had said in my blogs since I started the story I wanted to put out two chapters at a time for this story. It didn't really happen that way with three and four and that was because editing was taking longer than usual and posting three gave me a bit of breathing room to finish four.
going on. I'm sure the next two chapters will be very interesting but I'm not saying anything about those yet.
2779389 Cycle? What cycle?
2780569(Both) AJ is always going to give him a hard time regardless of the pony he picks for his companion. Also I don't think it would be much of a story if the solution were easy for the characters to see and always make the right decision all the time. Lots less this
2782672 Maybe, we'll see what I have in-store for this Equestria. Besides if I did that then someone might be able to guess an already developing title. But I won't say what I have in-store this Equestria until this story stands completed and that's a few chapters away yet.
2781116 I meant like each character is going to have it's own fic.
Yay, more waiting
So Applejack thinks it's okay for Twilight to treat Mac like dirt, but Mac can't even hold a civil animosity for Twilight?
Somehow I don't think this is going to end swimmingly.
I mean Rome wasn't built in a day and neither are relationships. In way, what Mac and Rainbow are doing is kind of unhealthy. I mean it's barely 2:00 in the Afternoon and Mac's gone from head over heels for Twilight to soul crushing despair to head over heels for Rainbow. That is NOT healthy.
3077845 ya why is that?
Ok so I just got back from doing the important things that needed to be done today besides update this story. Thank you again for reading and I will respond to the comments that need it in this post.
First
3077845
One AJ and Twilight resolved their prime differences on the whole failed relationship with her bro over the course of the three month period before the story. I said this in the story and I feel it gets at the core of the first part of your question. Big Mac let out his animosity for Twilight on the Trees of Sweet Apple Acres the night of Hearth's Warming. I think he's a stallion who lets his feelings out to deal with them and right now I think he knows what he wants and doesn't need to be angry because he isn't.
Secondly
3078086
For starters I need to go right to your fourth statement the only time Big Mac may have been head over heels for Twilight was on and before the time leading up to Hearth's Warming Day. Next his "soul crushing despair" lasted about as long as his tree bucking rampage. I don't feel that he has gone head over heels for Rainbow. Also I've laid bricks throughout the whole story if you look closely. Steady build up is a much better way to start a relationship sometimes even being friends before you know you really have something special together. Soarin and Pinkie Pie had a faster relationship start than Mac and Dash have.
Thirdly
3078450
I refer you to earlier in this post.
Fourth
3079832
She just wants what's best for her brother, and right now she thinks Twilight is what's best. She is being a bit over protective especially since she thinks he's still acting like a lovesick fool. In response to your second question possibly. And in response to your parenthesis absolutely
Well Lyra you just blew your chances of joining the weather team. Hope you're happy with yourself.
So Applejack thinks she can just dictate who her brother falls in love with for the sake of friendship? Isn't that the whole concept behind Romeo and Juilet? (True love cannot be selected. You can't force two people to fall in love, especially if they don't want to.)
Wow, um.
Huh.
Well, I need to put some kind of input...
I'm sorry, I'm really sorry, but, this all went downhill really fast.
The big issue is the sudden change of, well, everything. The introduction of Creme Brulee was...awful. That was the worst thing you could've done in this fic. Foreshadowing a potential replacement love interest for Twilight was as subtle as a solar eclipse. It was so obvious, the readers already know how this fanfic will end, undermining the conflict entirely.
Secondly, there was a huge shift in pacing, with the story and the writing, the latter made obvious by huge grammatical errors. A lot of the sentences in this chapter and the previous had a lot of awkward sentences that didn't end soon enough. The whole thing felt rushed.
The story itself is advancing far too quickly. The huge shift from noon to sunset exposes this pretty blatantly, and I can tell you're having problems keeping the pace of the whole thing together.
A reader will have problems with a fic when their suspension of disbelief slips, when they notice things they're not suppose to see or start to question the possibility of things. And once that is lost, keeping track of the entire thing starts feeling more like a chore.
Sorry, but this soured the fic for me.
You need to be more patient with your writing and your storytelling. You won't please anyone picking up the pace like this.
Keep writing.
3084771
This is the harshest criticism I have received since I joined this site. It stings like a knife. I wish I could find somepony to be a grammatical editor for me but it's impossible either you have to know someone personally or get lucky enough for someone to care. I've told every one since I started this that I'm all I've got right now for this story. My friends I know on here have their own issues to worry about and it's unfair of me to ask them or take away their editors. I've always said I've been trying to better myself with everything I put out. What this tells me is that I need to take some more time and repair and rework these two chapters. I hope that I can change your soured perception in time. If I can't then I'm sorry to have wasted your time.
I'll be honest, I agree completely with BlackM. Look, it's not that the story is bad, because I love the concept, but some things just...
I don't know, but I think you could have made this story last longer, and I felt the whole story was really rushed. Some parts were a little confusing and hard to read because of the dreadful grammar, but that's okay. Keep working at it, and if you can't find anyone to help you, study up! Read some other fics and see how they present everything. If I need to be more specific, read more fics and look for these things to help you improve your stories.
1: Look at character introduction. This one is crucial, as it could very well make the fic much worse than it has to be.
2: Proper punctuation, capitalization, and well, just grammar in general. Bad grammar could easily make a fic hard to follow, and some people are real stiff about it. You want to please as many as you can, so look for mistakes and proofread more often.
3: Look at how they take their time. By this, I mean look at, if you're writing a romance fic, how the love takes time to develop, and it's spaced out, so as to not flood the reader.
There are others, but not many. Focus on these three. Write write write! It's always good to practice
I think you could very well produce some great stories on this site, and i'm excited to see your development! Work hard, but don't forget to enjoy your writing. Everypony loves when the author loves writing fics as much as they love reading fics!
My best to you, and do continue to write on here, I look forward to seeing more chapters and more stories pop up from you!!
I'm batman
2779290 dude u r every where
Ok
3312371 i enjoy reading
3313175 as good a reason as any
3314483 you know it