• Member Since 11th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Last Monday

Metal Pony Fan


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Another day, another crash. Hey, being the best means taking some risks, but this time Rainbow dash is ground bound for three whole days! What does she do? Stay at Sweet Apple Acres until she recovers, of course! One thing though, AJ's out of town.

Ok, so this was only supposed to be a one chapter practice piece, but it spiraled out of control. There are now something like 15 completed chapters and a complete side story with an additional 15 chapters. I can't believe I did this. Rated teen for a fight and some misunderstandings, but I'm really just playing it safe. (I don't want to be banned on my first upload!)

First person(pony?) View, alternating between Rainbow and Mac.

Artwork (c) me, Just some stuff I slapped together. I'll give each fiction a proper piece of art later.

Also, if I get 3,000+ views, I'll make a piece of art for every chapter.

Chapters (17)
Comments ( 135 )

Great story I can't wait till the next chapter

AWESOME!!! Such a great improvement from the original chapter. Keep up the writing and I'll keep up the reading.

P.S. RD is very much in character now, good job. :rainbowkiss:

Maybe they should go swimming...:rainbowwild::rainbowlaugh::eeyup:

I was going to write it as newtons, but I didn't know how many people would know what that meant. I really wanted to calculate the PSI at the hooves on impact but figured that simplified metric, and therefore newtons. ( or as I incorrectly wrote for simplicity, kilograms) would fit better.

I should have left it out, but I opened this can of worms, so here.

I think that an average (read not Rainbow dash or a wonderbolt) could hit a Max speed of 60 MPH with nominal effort.

Estimating that, I got roughly 105 KPH.

It's actually 96.56064 KPH or 26.8224 meters per second.

In a person to person impact, if we compare this to a tackle, it is most likely that the attacker will not transfer all his momentum to the target and the target will have some give or flexibility.

Lets say for simplicity that Mac would take 50 percent of the impact over the space of .22 seconds (average time for a car crash according to an old textbook I have), meaning the pegasus would fly away having lost half his momentum rather than coming to a complete stop.

Impulse = Mass (change in Velocity/change in time)

I = M(V/T)

I = 50(13.4112/.22)

I = 50(60.96)

I = 3048

Mac would have absorbed 3048 newtons of force. Of course, his own momentum, if he were to move forward or back would factor into it, as would the angle of deflection if the blow were to glance off or if Mac turned when hit. There are other variables as well, but I just wanted some semblance of a scientific reason for why crashing into a pegasus that's going top speed is a bad idea.

I_am_the_jam

How did you get ahold of the next chapter?:rainbowhuh:

No spoilers, please.

Ok wow. There is such a huge improvement here in the story. The characters are well expressed, the settings and descriptions have improved, and the pacing of the whole thing has become readable. Fantastic! :raritystarry:

But...don't let the praise get to you. :ajbemused: You've done good, in that you've become, well, normal. Not that you were bad before, but you have definitely reached a tolerable level of writing. Again, not saying you were bad before...you just needed a lot of work, and you showed improvement. :twilightsmile:

Now, let's see where this story goes on. The character enhanced point of view actually makes this very fun to read, and that's an accomplishment; it was entertaining to go through. :yay: But it's still clear that you have difficulty on the technical side. You don't need to keep the old chapter pages, just replace them with the new one. Once you do that, I'm submitting this to the MacDash group. :rainbowkiss:

I'll wait until this story ends. You've got the writing basics down. Now it's time for the hard part; the story.

Keep writing.

Normally I would be annoyed at a multichapter romance fic that has them admitting their love or at least crush in the first chapter... but you made them so damn clueless it makes up for that. Oh god this is hilarious.

Good chap. Nice character development, keep it up!:rainbowkiss:

Amazing job, you've done an amazing job developing rainbow and big macs relationship. Keep it up.

Earth and Sky...

Where have I heard that before?:derpytongue2:

1442786
.... wow. I deleted my previous comment feeling it was a little rude, but in personal opinion you should go for correct, not easier to understand. I really like that you put the physics in the comment, that was cool. I can understand not going into PSI (mostly because I'm not sure RD would/could calculate that).
On a related note, I am loving the story so far and keep up the good work.

Well done on doing one of my favorite pairings justice.

So many loves in me right now.

D'aaaaww~~ That ending!! UPDATE MOAR!!!

This hits hard. It's like standing between two bullet trains, except it feels good.
Damn this pathetic mode of expression. things were much easier to explain back when I could communicate in 8 dimensions.

Sweet Celestia this chapter was deep! I love it :rainbowwild: and the feels you may have them all!!
did you adapt a real relationship help book or something for this or did you just hoof it? either way color me impressed
Can't wait to see where this goes!!

1498396

I winged it.

Thanks for all the kind comments and views. Things are about to get hectic for me, so I do not know when I will get to post again. But I will soon be posting the side story.

After reading all the (currently) posted chapters, I look and see 2k+ views yet only 31 (at the time) likes. This story is very sweet and does pull a lot of laughs and tear jerking moments. I do truly feel that more people are in need of reading this story. I only have one problem with this story and it's a nitpick on my part, Microwaves and pizza rolls. I just went

1514002

In what way?:rainbowhuh:, I'm curious.

Rarity has a microwave in the show and pizza rolls seem like the perfect Scootaloo food,therefore making it plausible that Rainbow Dash would like them and that the apple family might keep some in stock.

Personally, pizza rolls make me:pinkiesick:, even just the smell.

But I am glad you're enjoying the rest of the story. I can't believe it's gotten so many views and I hope AJ and Applebloom's side story does as well.

1515236 Please tell me what episode that shows Rarity with a microwave. The reason I go 'Oh come on!' when technology appears in a fan fic (just my opinion) is because I want to know how it works in a land full of magic. Was it created with magic? Is it magic powered? Does it run on like a crystal full of magic for pegasi and earth ponies who own one? I am just one of those people who want an explanation for technology when magic out strips it, but then I have to ask how did the develop the steam engine for the train? The more I think about it the bigger a headache I get, it's what I get for trying to use logic in a place where it's not always needed.

1515457

I think it's sisterhooves social, when Sweetie Belle tries to make breakfast. But I could be mistaken.

I think have a good idea for explaining the tech though. If it doesn't make it into these chapter rewrites, I'll make it into a side story.

1515506 Sorry the microwave in in another episode.

1515525

Is it in Sugarcube Corner during the baked bads incident?

Sorry about the wait, I have craziness going on with projects and deadlines.

Applejack and Applebloom in Appleoosa, the main sidestory is currently in moderation and awaiting approval, I hope you enjoy it.

What IS he doing..? O_o

New opdate (Squeeing loudly like a little girl):rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:
this in my top three romance stories i've read :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

1538077 Drugs, physical activity not recommended after usage.
Side effects may include dizziness :rainbowhuh: , blurry vision :rainbowderp: , lowering of inhibitions :rainbowwild: , and the uncontrollable urge to boop ponies on the nose :rainbowkiss:

1538949 Hee hee!! I can get behind that last one! X3

KISS HER!!!!!:rainbowkiss:

Oh Rainbow, when will you ever learn. :rainbowlaugh:

I am seriously curious about what Fluttershy and Pete want to talk about.

(Punches the air) UPDATE! W00T!

I really like the way you've portrayed the characters in this story, and the way you've formatted it really highlights the confusion and somewhat frantic and disorganised nature of their thoughts. So far there are really only two critiques I can make: There are a few minor errors here and there (missing quotation marks, too many/too few spaces, that sort of thing), nothing major, but enough to be noticeable. The second is that the scene where you first introduce Pete is slightly confusing. It makes sense in the end, but the way it's worded makes many of the details unclear.

Anyway, good work, and now I'm off to the next chapter.

1572258

Are you referring to floating quotes or to the sections of accented "dialogue " completely outside of quotes? Because I slip the character's thoughts into accent for lines that seem especially in character for them. I will try to fix any mistakes though, in order to make it a smoother read. It's just a little difficult on this old phone. (This site runs a little slow.) If you could point out anything specific, that would be helpful.

Thanks for reading!:eeyup::rainbowderp:

That "fight" between the two couples was absolutely hilarious :rainbowlaugh:.

UPDATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Really looking forward to seeing how AJ reacts.

Thank you for the over 500 views!:pinkiehappy:

More of an experimental prose piece, but I hope you like it.

This fic may be over, but the events surrounding Ponyville and are not. Why was Twilight called away? What did Fluttershy mean by complicated? What's going to happen to Wishy Washy? How did Pete lose the ability to fly? All that and more once I finish the rewrites of my fics.

Are you gonna make biscuits? Are you gonna make biscuits? Are you gonna make biscuits???:pinkiecrazy:

Wow. A few hours ago it was yesterday night and chapter 14 just came out, then I hop on this morning and 15-17 pop up.

Love this story Metal, not only are the characterizations done well, but the detail and thought put into the world show.
Keep up the work.

Loved this story. Looking forward to reading the other stories, and really looking forward to reading the sequel when you get around to it.

1592466. There are about a hundred chapters already written, I'm just editing and rewriting before posting.

You had me, then you lost me. I feel like the characters' friends should be better than manipulation and embarrassment. The whole thing with Fluttershy and Pete was more obnoxious than entertaining. I would like this story more if there were fewer characters.

1608083Fluttershy explains her actions in a later chapter. I'm sorry you didn't like the story, but thank you for letting me know why.

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