What is he doing?!
He just randomly started complimenting me. Which I like, don't get me wrong, but he also grabbed my flank and now he's holding my face and staring at me with that goofy grin. And his eyes are drifting! "Mac, your eyes are going Ditzy."
He tilted his head, worsening the drift in his eyes. "Uh, Ditzy-who?"
"Ditzy-doo, friend of mine. Grey, one slow eye." What's going on here?!
"Ah know her!" Mac perked his head up and his eyes snapped back into place. "Nice gal, beats the tar outta everypony every Friday."
"What? Mac, you are out of it."
"And Rainbow, you are beautiful." I'll never get tired of hearing that. Not that I'd ever admit it. Wait. He's getting closer! What's he doing? Is he? Why is he doing that now?
"Mac, what are you-mmph" Oh, why didn't you do this sooner. I could feel my eyes rolling up into the back of my head at the gentle touch of his lips. Our first kiss. Our first real-
"THUD!!"
He collapsed! One minute, he's kissing me, the next, he's snoring on the porch. He didn't even finish the kiss! How is that supposed to work? Do you even finish a kiss, or do they just end? "Uggh! You owe me Mac!" I was enjoying that! Even though you were acting weird.
Playing a hunch, I grabbed the bag and dug out the papers Nurse Redheart gave me. I flipped through them until I found one about the medicine.
Take in the morning. Check.
Mix with water. Check.
Eat first. Check.
No hot liquids. Check.
Dosage increased due to patient's size. Check.
Side effects include euphoria and drowsiness. I guess that's a check.
So, my first kiss was a side effect of heavy duty painkillers. You know, that kind of kills the romance. And on top of that, I'm stuck with the chores now. "You really owe me, like, another kiss or something. And you had better make it romantic."
He snored in response.
With a little giggle- I mean chuckle. With a little chuckle, I arranged Mac so he would be more comfortable while he slept. He was kind of heavy, but that's not too big of a problem for me. After that, I finished my slice of the pie. Gotta say, as infuriating as she can be sometimes, she does know how to make a pie. Maybe I'll just have one more slice.
A few minutes and most of the pie later, I picked up the chore list off the table. Let's see now.
Feed the chickens. No problem
Apple delivery to sugarcube corner. Can't say I'm looking forward to that.
Plow 20x20 salad garden beside house. Tough but doable.
Dig hole for new tree 5 hooves deep and 10 around at the blue flag. I hate you, Granny.
Well, hate is a little harsh. Mac and I were supposed to be working together on this after all. Well, first things first, get the small stuff out of the way so you have room to work.
The chickens only took a few minutes. So I was off to Sugarcube Corner pretty quickly. Mac probably could have carried the two barrels of apples like they were saddlebags. I was stuck with AJ's old cart. I set off for sugarcube corner as quickly as I could. I knew I would need all the time I could get to work on digging the hole. I am not letting Granny mess with tonight's plans.
I got a few odd looks during the walk through Ponyville, probably because of the ridiculous little smiley faces on the cart. I wonder how mad Mac would be if I painted it black.
When I got to Sugarcube Corner, I parked the cart and walked in through the front door. The normally packed bakery was completely empty, not even Pinkie or the Cakes were present. Weird,but there's nothing I can do about it.
I turned around to exit the bakery and heard somepony yell, "ear flop, eye flutter, knee twitch!"
Oh, hailstones.
"BAM!!"
"Oh! There you are, Rainbow Dash! I had a feeling I'd see you today!"
"I, ughh, yeah." Oh, that hurt. I peeled myself off the back of the door to see Pinkie carrying both barrels of apples into the back of the bakery. She was walking rather unsteadily on her hind legs while supporting the barrels with her front. I don't know if that's possible because she was an earth pony, or because she was Pinkie. But I decided not to ask. My head hurts and I don't think it could take whatever explanation Pinkie would give.
"Thanks for the apples Dashie!" After dropping off the barrels, Pinkie walked in through the front door. I know, I know, but come on, this is Pinkie we're talking about. "Usually Mackie's the one who does the deliveries," she bounced over to the counter, "but I guess I've gotta get used seeing you more often." She disappeared behind the counter. "Which I guess is pretty nice actually." She popped up a moment later with a little paper foodservice hat on her head. "I can't wait till Granny teaches you to cook."
I watched her put together some little sampler trays with miniature sweets and pastries. "What makes you think I can't cook?" And those things actually look pretty good.
"Ooh, can you make cookies?" To illustrate her point, she held up a tray covered in mini cookies. There were chocolate chip, oatmeal and even some pistachio cookies.
"Uh, no." But I'm going to have to get Mac to bring me back here after he wakes up, those things look delicious. I'm gonna have to pay him back though.
"Then what about muffins?" She held up a tray full of little, bite-size muffins.
"No." Where is she getting all these things? I didn't see any of it when I came in. Then again, I was plastered to the back of door, that tends to distract.
"Pie?" She held up a pecan pie that fit perfectly on the end of her hoof.
"No." I didn't know they came that small.
"Cupcakes?" She held out a box of cupcakes. Each one could have been placed on a bit instead of a plate.
"That's your department." How do you even get them that small? The frosting is still perfectly swirled.
"Spaghetti?"
"Spa-what-i?" Ok, that made it sound like I don't know what spaghetti is. I do, it's just the sudden jump away from baked goods threw me off.
She placed her hooves together on top of the counter. "So, tell me Rainbow," she said in a serious tone that sounded a little unusual coming from her, "what can you cook?"
"Uh," I shrugged, "you know, food. And stuff."
"Hay fries and frozen pizza?"
"Yeah, food."
"Wait here." She ducked under the counter for a moment. It sounded like she was digging for something. For a moment there, I could almost swear I heard a chainsaw, but when I peeked around the counter, she wasn't there.
I could still hear the chainsaw though. "Pinkie, I swear, if you're standing behind with a chainsaw, you're gonna get applebucked straight to next Tuesday."
"I've already done that." Pinkie came walking out of the kitchen with a brown paper bag in her mouth. "It's not as fun as you'd think. She placed the bag on the counter in front of me. "Smell this."
I took a sniff. "Kind of smells like butter." I bet half the things in here smell like butter. And where is that chainsaw noise coming from? She stretched out an arm to retrieve a plate and set it down in front of me. Her face was expressionless as she emptied the bag onto the plate. A single pastry fell out. "Oh, yeah, twisty, flaky thing. Those always smell like butter."
Pinkie face-hooved. "It's called a croissant."
"Yeah, a cro-what about it?" She did some sort of nasally sound with the s that I don't think I can copy.
She sighed. "How about crescent roll?"
"Yeah, crescent roll works." It's actually kind of humiliating to know that I'm trying Pinkie's patience.
She pushed the plate towards me. "Taste it," she whispered.
"Why? Is it free?" I don't have any bits at the moment. And why did you whisper?
"I got ya covered. Now, eat it, you'll be begging to learn how to cook after you do."
"I doubt it." And you're being kind of pushy.
"Say that after you try it." Fine. I picked it up. Pinkie seems pretty confident, so I'm sure it tastes pretty good. I just can't see me learning how to cook. Sitting in front of a stove waiting for a little bell. I can handle the farm work because I can keep moving. I took a bite. Crispy, flaky, a little salty. Pretty normal for a crescent roll. The salty taste kind of stuck in my mouth though. "Go on," said Pinkie, motioning with her hoof. I took another bite and it melted in my mouth with a sweet caramel taste. It wasn't sticky like caramel candy. It was smooth and blended pretty well with the salt. "One more." I took a third bite, and a light refreshing taste of apples washed away the last remnants of salt and caramel. Leaving a cool taste in my mouth.
That.
Was.
Awesome!
"Ok, Pinkie," I said, putting my hooves up in defeat, "I would like to be able to make something like that."
"Good," she went back to filling her little sampler trays, "now you just need to ask the baker to share the recipe."
"But I wouldn't know what to do with a recipe."
"Then you need to ask for lessons."
"So you think you can teach me to make something like this?" That'd be a neat trick.
"Of course not, silly. I said you need to ask the baker, I didn't bake these! Who do you think makes caramel apple croissants?"
"Of course, Granny!" Well, forget learning to cook those, I would rather keep my contact with that green terror to a minimum. And speaking of Granny, I still have chores to finish. "Well, see ya Pinks!" I started to leave, but Pinkie popped up in my path.
"What if it wasn't Granny?" She whispered like she was telling me some big secret.
"Then who was it?" And why are you whispering? We're the only ponies here.
With heavily exaggerated eyebrow movements, she looked left and right without moving her head. Then she put a hoof up beside her mouth and whispered, "you kissed the cook."
No. Way. "You're seriously telling me that Big Mac made that crescent roll?"
She jumped up in the air and started clapping her hooves. "You kissed Big Mac!"
"Pinkie!" I stomped a hoof. "Stop tricking me like that!" I can't believe I didn't catch it.
Pinkie was giggling like a little foal. "But you make it so easy. And you didn't deny it either."
If I tried to deny it, you'd just find another way to trick me. "He was on painkillers, and don't tell anypony."
"Aww," her shoulders drooped, but she was still smiling, "you're not as awkward anymore."
I shrugged. "Sorry Pinks, but like you said, you better get used to seeing me more often."
"Good for you Rainbow." She patted me on the shoulder. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go check on Gummy." She started hopping towards the stairs. "That chainsaw's been on way too long."
Uh, ok. She went up the stairs as I headed outside. I'm pretty sure I heard another chainsaw start up, but I dutifully ignored it as I started my walk back to Sweet Apple Acres. That was actually kind of nice to chat with Pinkie like that. It was almost a normal conversation. And we're meeting Pete and Fluttershy tonight, so I wonder what they want to talk about. Plenty of time to wonder about that after the chores are done. After all, all I have to do is some plowing and a little digging.
It'll be a piece of cake.