A relatively normal day is disrupted when Luna learns that Orcus, the Demon Prince of Undeath, has escaped from Tartarus and is making his bid for conquest, starting with Ponyville. More horrifying though... is that fact that only she seems to care. Time is of the essence, and no one, Celestia included, seems worried about the impending disaster. Will Luna be able to rally the army, shake the citizens of Canterlot from their strange apathy, and save the day?
No. No she will not.
Everypony in this town is crazy.
(Special thanks to my Prereaders, many of whom do not have accounts, for convincing me this fic didn't suck. Also, thanks to Danmakuman for the cover art!)
Chapters (1)
It's here! It's really here! I just want you to know how happy I am to finally see that you've posted this and that I'm going to jam up you're opera for this.
Bucking finally.
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Do I... do I know you?
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Nope, it's just that I've always liked new new authors.
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Oh.
Well, tell your friends if you enjoyed it!
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Not before I read it though, and I gtg to bed.
I'll probably blog about it or something.
Catch ya later.
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But in all seriousness, this was a fun read! I really enjoyed it. Provided, after the initial interaction with the General, I saw the ending coming, but it was still fun to watch Luna spiral out of control. It felt like an actual episode of MLP, which is hard to do. So props!
That was hilarious, ending was predictable, but still hilarious.
To be perfectly honest, after all this, I'm surprised Luna didn't secede from Equestria.
And if Celestia had just taken the time to explain to Luna that the Bearers of the Elements would handle everything, all this could have been avoided.
...Or maybe that was her intention?
She wot m8?
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... Your welcome?
I'm glad to see Luna reacting like I would have. Although a little more text devoted to her beating the shit out of Celestia would not have gone amiss.
And then Solomon Bind was best pony.
I can't really disagree with that, you know?
Hey, at least Solomon Bind might be able to study Orcus, since he wasn't killed or banished.
Infinite facehoofing and laughing!
I always thought Orcus anywhere near Equestria would end up with the entire continent being dragged down to Thanatos to suffer eternal undying torment at his claws.
Awww, two extremely powerful sisters bonding after one has a temper tantrum
Oh man, that was awesome. Loved the random jab at Trixie by the end, and well, the last scenes in general with Luna flipping out at Celestia too.
Awesome story. If this hasn't been featured, it should.
[Edit] Oh look, there it is. Grats. XD
Brilliant! Only criticism is the large blocks of text in some areas, but otherwise excellent. LOLed a bunch of times. I do feel for Luna, its hard being rendered obsolete. On the other hand, if they do successfully get their kids to run everything themselves, the Princesses can send all of eternity doing whatever they like.
This was flipping great. I wish I had something more to say, but I don't.
And... Featured. Not bad at all for your first story, huh?
Oh that was hilarious, great story. Your writing is still a little rough around the edges, but I've seen a lot worse from new writers.
I hope to see more of your work in the future! Bravo!!!!
Yesterday, I was thinking about a scenario where the chosen one decides he'd rather sit at home in a rocking chair and drink tea while lava flows burn his house down. Judging from the description, this story is a close approximation.
You're not fooling anyone here, Celestia. Your answer was clearly phrased in just such a way that it would send your sister into a frothing panic. Unfortunately, it wasn't also phrased to be disguised as an innocent miscommunication after the fact. You're losing your touch.
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I think I found a mistake.
And so Luna learns of the most important magic of all: delegation.
Fun read! You might want to go through it and proofread one more time, though. Phrases like "that eternal clam" when you mean CALM are distracting.
Although a giant immortal mollusk rising from the sea would have been kinda funny too
Alt. Title: Hard Bucking, Minus The Bucking
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Holy shit that was awesome, managed to be engaging, funny, and meaningful by the end. Superb work, 5 mustaches.
cant wait to see more form you
That wondefully enjoyable, thank you very much for writting it and look forward to more of you work. Awesomesauce my friend, Awesomesauce.
Fluttershy saved Ponyville from the undead through talking?
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Seriously, I feel bad for Luna, going through all that STRESS, just because the though didn't cross her mind that THEY could handle it! At least, once again, everything worked out in the end.
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Good times.
Poor Lulu. 
This was entirely too delightful. :3
Hmn, thats weird, in any normal fanfic where mane 6 would try to handle prince of Death, it would look like it is a very epic and hard chalenge for mane 6, but now when I read it from Luna perspective, it seems like mane 6 are OP.
I mean, in pass Luna and Celestia need armies, mages, resources to defeat sush terrible threat, and now everypony in entire Equestria just sit calm that and know that battle is won before it even started.
But do somethink like this does not actualy make mane 6 OP, I mean, why armies would die in battle and 6 ponies would win it hardly with any injuries ? and mane 6 not even used elements, they fought off undead armies and than Flutthershy just talked with prince.
Now I know that mane 6 is cool, but is not it a bit OP to relly on tham so much ( if in a story there would be Alicorn what can use elements and do the same what mane 6 do, right away he would be called Marry Sue, but as long as it is mane 6, it is ok, I not get it ), they are normal ponies after all, if Nightmare Moon would want to kil anypony, she would kill mane 6 before they even started to search for elements, but she just tryed to scare tham off, so Nightmare Moon lost only because she was to kind villan.
Discord understaminate mane 6 and was never murderer, but he could still teleport elements to ocean or volcano or just desintergrate mane 6 with one gest of his fingers.
Mane 6 defeated 100 changelings alown when entire Equestria army failed offscreen, but Chrysalis not wanted to hurt any food source, she asked guards to leave and not even watched how her prisoners could plot again her.
And in episode with Sombra, Sombra was enslaver, not killer.
What I try to say is that mane 6 are not so OP that they can solve all problems and replace armies alown, if they would face a villans who actualy would not hessistate to kill, flutthershy would die as much as any soldier would die.
As much as I must find this story funny and good, I dissagree with the idea that mane 6 even without elements are one pony army or Deux ex machina, they should not be able to solve all problems and beat all villans alown, I personaly want mane 6 to not be so OP so they would need help.
OH GOD YES!
I completely misjudged the title picture...
This is one of the most marvelous Pony stories I've ever read, much less Luna stories. Great work!
Just wanted to say that I think Twilight would make a fascinating Praetor. That one paragraph might've been my favorite part of the whole story - very interesting take on the Ascension idea. Well done!
Just want to say I appreciate all of the comments, even if its taken me forever to answer them. Let's go down the list! Also, thanks to anyone who pointed out errors. I will get to those in a moment.
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Not even the Demon Prince of Undeath can resist the adorableness that is Fluttershy. If only the Raven Queen knew...
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Yes, well, we can probably thank Varanus for that small miracle
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Whoa nelly! The ending was meant to be a little absurd. The whole fic was basically a prolonged Take That against the idea of Lazy Celestia, all of it having been inspired after Its About Time came (Old news? You have no idea. This bugger was being written in -May-). It stretched the Mane 6's Six Mare Army tendencies to the extreme. Granted though, they won via diplomacy, not force of arms. Even then though, considering that Orcus in the source material I swiped him from is basically an Eldritch Abomination, it was meant to be a silly ending. I figured the nigh-Lovecraftian purple prose describing The Demon Prince of Undeath and Entropy shuffling around like an emabrassed filly would have tipped it off.
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Holy crap. Did the authors of Progress and Romance Reports just comment positively on my fic?
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1785304 Yes, he did.
And you've been featured. Good, good. Let us set fire to a fire truck in celebration!
Fucking.
AWESOME.
I loved this to an unreasonable degree. Excellent job writing a comedy that looked like a grimdark fic and that ended up turning oddly poignant at the end:
That's the kind of meditation on the worldbuilding I wish would happen canonically, but I know never will, because...kid's programming. If I could, I'd import these paragraphs wholesale into the series.
Chugga, chugga...
)We are proud to award this story... 85%, with 17/20 Gold Stars!
Hello there, Nyronus! I am That Poem Guy of the Orient Express Explorers! Now, on with the Review!
Celestia and Luna's Completely Average Day is a humorous story that I thoroughly enjoyed. Luna's escapades throughout the day, and Celestia's apparent apathy (while being her manipulative self) gave me several chuckles. The final scenes, from Luna's return to the end, are particularly touching, as we see the sisters bonding, and coming to a deeper understanding of each other. (You'd think, after thousands of years together, they'd have it all worked out.)
Your characterization was spot on, and although it was slightly odd to see Luna speaking in modern English rather than Old English. However, in light of the most recent episode, this is perfectly reasonable. And almost a relief, I think! Too many stories are written in Half-researched Old English, and as someone who has done their research, reading these stories can be incredibly jarring. So thank you!
Although it is unusually long for a One-shot, I find that the pace of the story, leading up to the conversation at the end makes the entire story well worth reading. That's not saying that the rest of the story isn't excellent as well! Overall this is a highly comedic piece with a good dash of story line and high amounts of sentimentality, all blended together to create a pretty damn good story!
To finish, this is an excellent first (posted) story, keep it up!
We of the OEE eagerly await your future publications! (But don't feel pressured into writing!
-ThatPoemGuy of the Orient Express Explorers.
Lol, such a good story but so little brain power left to make a decent reply....
zzzz
Oh right the story, anyways do you think undead whats his face will stop by Canterlot for the tartertarianist-a-cyst-systs or whatever the politically correct term was for them so that they can study him a little? also does this mean he will be one of the "redeemed" ones now?
I mean I know he was a killer but then again given his.... unique attributes its not quite as "permanent" as usual and what not... anyways bed now, bye.
Eagle Eye, eh?
We need some sort of registry for fannon appointed royal guards.
Okay, I'll admit this was pretty funny, but I don't like the fact that Luna was driven to a mental breakdown of cataclysmic proportions because nobody let her in on the joke on why she shouldn't worry about Ponyville.
THEY COULD HAVE TOLD HER ABOUT THE F****** DEUS EX MACHINA IN THE FORM OF THE MANE SIX YOU KNOW!
That is like straight up bullying, which I do not tolerate due to the fact it happened to me from Kindergarten to High School and I don't want to see it happen to any of these ponies including Luna.
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That is what most comedy is, I'm sorry to say. People in awkard situations because of failures to communicate, which we tend to hate in life.
That's why I don't watch children's tv anymore. Most of it is that. But don't take this well-written story so personally, it's a bit over the top.
I know where you are coming from, I was the kid with cooties. Albeit, I made them suffer for labelling me as such, because there was nothing more self-deprecatingly amusing as watching them pass my cooties onto each other, or chasing after them. If life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your foes!
This was far and away my favorite part of a hilarious (though possibly a little long) story. Exactly the kinds of things I love to see considered in fanfiction. Bravo.
EDIT: Or possibly brava.