Nightmare Moon has returned from her thousand years of banishment on the moon.
These thousand years have not been kind to her.
She decides to sell the idea of Eternal Night instead of trying to take over the world.
Nothing will go wrong.
Set in: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Part One. Not to be taken seriously.
Thanks to Petrichord for some of the ideas in this story!
Credit for art goes to Silfoe. Art is used without explicit permission, and I will take it down if the original artist, Silfoe requests it.
Chapters (1)
why does this sound so familiar 🤔
also i really should stop using Honey, huhYou have succeeded in making me laugh so hard that I couldn't breath and choked on air, hats off to you lol Best part has to be the NordVPN, I actually started coughing because I laughed so hard, you deserve a like lol
She sells seashells on a seashore
But the value of these shells will fall
Due to the laws of supply and demand
No one wants to buy shells 'cause there's loads on the sand
Step 1: you must create a sense of scarcity
Shells will sell much better if the people think they're rare, you see
Bare with me, take as many shells as you can find and hide 'em on an island stockpile 'em high
until they're rarer than a diamond
Step 2: you gotta make the people think that they want 'em
Really want 'em, really fuckin want 'em
Hit 'em like Bronson
Influencers, product placement, featured prime time entertainment If you haven't got a shell then you're just a fucking waste man
Three: it's monopoly, invest inside some property, start a corporation, make a logo, do it properly
"Shells must sell", that will be your new philosophy
Swallow all your morals they're a poor man's quality
Four: expand, expand, expand, clear forest, make land, fresh blood on hand
Five: why just shells? Why limit your self? She sells seashells, sell oil as well!
Six: guns, sell stocks, sell diamonds, sell rocks, sell water to a fish, sell the time to a clock
Seven: press on the gas, take your foot off the brakes, Run to be the president of the United States
Eight: big smile mate, big wave that's great Now the truth is overrated, tell lies out the gate
Nine: Polarize the people, controversy is the game
It don't matter if they hate you if they all say your name
Ten: the world is yours, step out on a stage to a round of applause You're a liar, a cheat, a devil, a whore
And you sell seashells on the seashore
LMAO this is so random
... You soulless son of a bitch. Here I was hoping you were better than that. Guess not when you sell out to that spambot. And I don't mean Skillshare...
Take your damn upvote and favorite
Not to be mean but the cover image is of Luna not nightmare moon.
Excellent story by the way
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It references that one part in the middle
But not from the Fourteen Eyes.images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/cb5f69de-8173-498b-a3d7-899e7d15a996/d4zj1b5-a2d524ab-0807-4b9e-91bb-c2bbdd3178e5.jpg?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2NiNWY2OWRlLTgxNzMtNDk4Yi1hM2Q3LTg5OWU3ZDE1YTk5NlwvZDR6ajFiNS1hMmQ1MjRhYi0wODA3LTRiOWUtOTFiYi1jMmJiZGQzMTc4ZTUuanBnIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.fWeJ7Qfvj9Z7lAPH5V--pZIRa1vW727x2dfRXC3plT8
Don't you dare! Your shitposts are love, your shit posts are life!
“Please be sure to like, comment, share, and subscribe. With that, I’ll see you guys next time.” — Nightmare Moon
Where is all of equis do you come up with these wierd ideas?
By Celestia's name, I could never come up with such wonderful weirdness. Don't ever stop writing these shitposts.
She almost had me till the sponsors ads in the middle of the speech.
Down for everything else tho
I want my free pith helmet.
~Reggie
You're beyond strange. This is ridiculous.
And it's hilarious. Never stop.
LUNA, YES!
I would not be surprised if the reason for these changes was some kind of "invention of Flim and Flam" for destroying documents, which due to malfunction instead of destroying them teleported them to the moon. And all these 20 years Luna had no alternatives to read rejected ideas and black bookkeeping. :D
dont stop baby
Lmao
Don't worry, this is high grade shitposting
Honey- phishing scheme
NordVPN- phishing scheme
Skillshare- Like this online gurus you see promoting their courses
Raid Shadow Legends- Skinnerbox
I wish youtubers would pick better sponsors for real
WHY DO YOU HUNT ME!!!!!
It never ends i feel like i am geting hunted down by adds Run for your lifes!!!!
Luna is a monster a Great big Add Monster 10/10 will start playing raid shadow legends after this Story
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Sadly, it's more of "we need to say yes or we don't have enough money to eat." Kind of situation outside of big name YouTubers.
I'll say this much. You've certainly earned your username with this one.
... And with Audible you too can listen to the smooth tunes of moon tunes at great volume for an excellent price. The official sponsor of the gates that keep the Eldritch Abominations in space out!
Just wait until these tactics are used against Discord. Not sure if even he can resist these pitches. Or even worse, become Luna's marketing partner
Snrk.
Take your damn upvote
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It helps that has he has many people to bounce ideas off of.
As for you nephew this was great. I knew most of the jokes going in courtesy of you know why, but the pith helmet joke got me. Well done.
This was just so beautifully chaotic.
dies of laughter
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Trouble is, it feels like Raid was holding a gun to people's heads making them use the game as a sponsor. It wasn't a sponsored campaign. It was flat-out spamming Youtube all of the last few years.
Skillshare and NordVPN are at least useful, and I've seen a lot of creators use creative ways to integrate them into their videos and still fulfill whatever terms they agreed to.
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This is sorta the reason why I integrated the sponsor joke, but didn't actually use Raid Shadow Legends as a sponsor. It's an unhealthy sponsor that most content creators accept sponsorship from only to fund their videos and life. Whereas Skillshare, NordVPN, and Honey, actually might be a little bit useful to certain parties of interest.
However, I did include RSL from a brainstorming session with a friend, and it seemed like a shame not to use the name "Shadow Legends" for something.
So. Many. Sponsors...
(This, this is gloriousness at it's finest in weirdness/randomness.
Although I do wonder whether or not Rainbow and Scootaloo will find themselves dashing through that interstellar amusement park at sonic speeds...)
Hah.
Well... I've managed to not die of laughter this time. Score!
At least she isn't a door-to-door salespony.
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"-And make sure to ring the little bell, so you won't miss any notifications!"
Next stop. Mares.
images.pngnice.com/download/2007/Cereal-Guy-PNG-Free-Download.png
Nice one
!
No, more shitposting!
*Concerned laughing*
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Ah! Sorry about that
Finally, another story chock-full of advertisements!
well at least she's not Spamton...
static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/tvl2qhx.jpg
Wallace will remember that.
Take my
upvotefavorite and get the Fuck outta here.LUNA YES! LUNA ALWAYS YES!
Nono, gib moar please. Quality, top-shelf shitposts, you make.
Hey you didn't build a base? You just built a bunch of corporate logos...
Dog:chicken in a basket.
"Ma'am, I'm the mayor of this town. All I'm hearing is that you're slashing my budget."
... Ah, you address that immediately afterwards. Well played.
The big question is where these sponsors are based and how they're paying Luna. If it turns out they're just isolation-induced delusions, that could be a problem. Of course, I'm overthinking an obvious joke, so let's put that aside.
All told, delightfully cracky spin on the premiere. Thank you for it.
Can't have a story about the moon without a cheese joke.
I knew this story was going to be a treat, and I wasn't disappointed.
"Congratulations," said Luna, rolling up the scroll that Twilight Sparkle had just signed. "With the education bonus you've earned by being my sister's student, you saved fifteen percent on your purchase of Eternal Night."
"But I hadn't finished reading it yet," said Spike, who was still holding his magnifying glass. "Some of the print at the bottom was really small, and--"
"Don't you worry, young drake," said Luna with a vulpine grin. She patted Spike on the back and made a wide sweeping motion with a forehoof. "As a dependent minor, your access to the vacation property is half-price. Except during certain blackout hours, of course."
"Blackout hours?" Spike raised one eyebrow ridge. "There are restrictions on when Twilight can use the property?"
"Of course." Luna nodded and pointed at the moon. "You only have access when it is in the sky."
"Oh, no." Spike buried his head in his hands. "Twilight, you bought a time share!"
Wow, just wow