• Member Since 26th Sep, 2011
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FanOfMostEverything


"[FoME] manages the impossible combination of being an actual legitimate nerd while staying unabashedly pleasant." —Aragón

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Source

Fifty years ago, the first thing most ponies thought when they heard the word "Ponyville" was "What?"

Ten years ago, it was "Monster attacks."

Right now, it's "Princess Twilight Sparkle," which is certainly a step in the right direction. Mayor Mare wants to keep up the momentum, but she needs help. And it just so happens that Twilight needs a favor to push this "School of Friendship" she's so eager to build past the zoning board...

Awarded "Most Creative Plot" in the Original Parings group's May 2020 Pairings Contest.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 45 )

Please keep the comments as politically neutral as you can. Thank you.

Everything is horrible and we're all going to die. That's pretty broadly applicable.

The setup the stranger carried couldn't have been helping her balance either, a massive array of sliding and rotating mechanisms that wouldn't look out of place in an optometrist's office if it hadn't been made to rest on a pony's back. Given the movie camera attached to the rig, ready to shift in front of the young mare, it was easy to guess what it was for, though Marion had still never seen one before.

If they had needed the phone as something other than a camera, would it have been something else?

Aw, man. Ponies stole my dragon assistant.

Can't have shit in Detrot, I swear...

If this story is in the contest, you kinda broke the rules. There's only have to be 2 character tags.

A neat little character study. Juniper has potential, and would probably be featured in far more stories if it wasn't for Sunset's existence. Or Starlight's. Or Stygian's. Or Tempest's. Or Gloriosa's. Or—

Anyway, it's kind of funny, plenty of people use the Zap Apple explanation for Granny Smith's age, but I subscribe to the idea that earth ponies just age more slowly. Having triple the average life expectancy makes up for being handed the short straw in regards to the cool magic powers department. Well, unless you're a Pie.

Juniper picked herself up off the floor with a growl. "I'm saying it now: I'm glad I came out a regular horse, because magic is bullcrap."

Hoo boy, when she finds out how wrong she was about being a regular horse... (It's not until the end of the season that this story occurs before that they start redefining magic so all of Cloudsdale didn't die offscreen, and it had to be that haphazard behind the scenes or they wouldn't have made Tirek so relevant to the plot in question and then take another half a season before even trying to explain the discrepancy. Eventually I might stop being annoyed at this, but I'll never stop being annoyed by the people who insist that "canon" is a thing that exists despite nonsense like this. Especially given the etymology of "canon".)

I really do feel sorry for Mayor Mare sometimes.

“Twilight, just standing in this giant zoning violation makes my cutie mark ache.”

Mayor Mare knew that once she started writing up the violations, she'd never be able to stop. Besides, she wasn't sure just what standing a giant sentient tree of Friendship had, and didn't want to find out.

Oooh! Mayor Mare doing Mayor-y things!

Is it as rare as I think, or I'm just not looking in the right spots?

Great story!

And wow! Juniper Montage! Cool pairing!

And nice cover image!

"Ponyville: 200% more hugs and 90% less face-pie'ing incidents per capita than Detrot."

(Remember when pie-based weaponry was a running gag in the fandom? Ah, the good old days.)

It's always great to see Juniper Montage out and doing her thing.

I will keep the politics to a minimum but... the competence porn that is Dotted Line and the Civil Service seems more and more porn by the day.

It's really too bad that Ponyville's historic library was destroyed in a princess-related incident. But the Acres and the Everfree Preserve on the other hand... not to mention The Quills and Sofas. His talent actually has nothing to do with Quills OR Sofas, it's about matching the right thing to the right pony. And Quills and Sofas are both very picky things. No matter how particular your requirements, he can find something that matches what you need better than you knew yourself. It's like Olivanders for stationary and lounging.

10263236
I still contend that it's weaponized Laughter magic...

Marion quirked an eyebrow. “You’ll have to pardon me if I’m somewhat wary of Princess Twilight’s ‘complicated’ friends. Starlight Glimmer alone has caused more than her share of headaches.”

"To be fair," said Twilight, "she's gotten much better since she began her lessons."

"Relatively speaking," Marion allowed. She turned a hard stare on the newcomer. "And what sort of complications do you bring to the table, Miss Shimmer?"

I mean, she's not wrong. And much like Twilight, chaos, destruction, madness and plot devices never happen around Sunset. Except when they do. Which is all the time.

"Great." Sunset began leading Twilight out of the room. "So, hypothetically speaking, if you had an anniversary coming up, what would you want as a gift?"

You're a smooth operator Sunny. Though, I think it's kinda cheating if you ask your paramour's inter-dimensional counterpart.

"Well, when you put it like that..." After a bit more thought, Marion shuddered. "Honestly, now I'm a bit concerned that Discord might interfere with the shooting."

Again, Mayor Mare very clearly has a good idea what kind of story she's living in at this point.

I make no apologies for incidental Sciset.

You don't ever need to apologize for that.

That was a fun little slice of life for Mayor Mare and Juniper.

I wasn’t expecting minotaurs from beyond known reality.” After a moment, Marion sighed. “And now that I say it aloud, perhaps I should have.”

:rainbowlaugh:

Considering that she wasn't really expecting the transmogrification, Juniper acclimates to (resigns herself to?) being a pony surprisingly quickly.

The mirror decided to transform Juniper's device into a dedicated film-reel movie camera with no attached primitive telephonic capability whatsoever. I know the joke is that smartphones can do everything except make phone calls, but c'mon, mirror. Did the rig at least have an attached manila folder containing dozens of photographs?

Juniper could show the finished film to prospective employers, but she'd probably just get a lot of offers to do advanced CGI work that she wasn't actually qualified for.

10263460

You're a smooth operator Sunny. Though, I think it's kinda cheating if you ask your paramour's inter-dimensional counterpart.

Twilight Sparkle pushed the bridge of her glasses as she looked at the gift.

"Um, Sunset? While I admit that I'm inherently intrigued by the mechanical engineering of any device powered by Equestrian magic, you do realize there's a free app on our phones that converts voice to text, right?"

10262982
The inevitability of death is nicely bipartisan, yes.

As for the phone-into-camera effect, the mirror does read the intentions of those who pass through it. Usually it's for accents on their human outfits, but sometimes it's knowing what not to squirrel away into hammerspace during their time in Equestria.

10263066
:twilightoops: Oh dear. Hopefully I fixed it in time.

10263081
I like to ascribe more esoteric cool powers to earth ponies, so pickling Granny in Zap Apple cider works a bit better in terms of game balance. :derpytongue2:
And yeah, this series developed a real bad case of Loads and Loads of Characters by that final lowercase sunset. Folks like Juniper who showed up after the show passed the Dunbar's Number of the fandom are a lot more likely to get left out in the cold

10263119
Season 8 is the low point of the series for me, and the inability to establish any logical framework for Cozy's plan is a sizeable chunk of why.

10263121
They say that the last day of her last term, Mayor Mare mailed a packet containing all of Twilight's violations over the years to Castle Canterlot. On top of the stack was a handwritten note that just said, "Do with them what you will. My duty is done."

10263236
Most ponies support more stringent pie control, but the NPA's reach is long indeed.

10263443

... the competence porn that is Dotted Line and the Civil Service seems more and more porn by the day.

Sad but true. :ajsleepy:

Also, that may be the most dignified description of Davenport I've ever seen. Nicely done.

10263460

And much like Twilight, chaos, destruction, madness and plot devices never happen around Sunset. Except when they do. Which is all the time.

The curse of the protagonist is a heavy one to bear.

You're a smooth operator Sunny. Though, I think it's kinda cheating if you ask your paramour's inter-dimensional counterpart.

"Cheating is a strong term. I prefer 'using all available resources.'"

Again, Mayor Mare very clearly has a good idea what kind of story she's living in at this point.

You don't spend as many terms as she has in charge of Protagonist Village without picking up some genre savviness.

Glad you enjoyed it!

10263545
The problem with expecting the unexpected is that there are so many unexpected things to expect.

10263581

Considering that she wasn't really expecting the transmogrification, Juniper acclimates to (resigns herself to?) being a pony surprisingly quickly.

She shifted mental gears from "high fantasy" to "cute cartoon animals." A tendency to view your life through cinema comes in handy when you find yourself in another, more magical world.

Did the rig at least have an attached manila folder containing dozens of photographs?

No, but there were several translucent lens caps that could've made the recording monochrome, sepia, photonegative, and so forth. The mirror can be a hardcase when it comes to what apps make it through.

Juniper could show the finished film to prospective employers, but she'd probably just get a lot of offers to do advanced CGI work that she wasn't actually qualified for.

Yeah, that's the other big issue, but explaining all the details would open an even bigger can of worms than trying to describe humans to someone unfamiliar with apes.

And I can totally see Sunset forgetting more mundane solutions for a gift, especially when asking the other Twilight for help. :rainbowlaugh:

10263735
The idea was that she's a redeemed villain like all those other characters. I even missed some, like Trixie, Gilda, and Garble.

Magic mirror, tall and strange,
How do you know what to change?

10263735

The inevitability of death is nicely bipartisan, yes.

That’s what we want you to think.

10263735

well she was a filly that was younger than the CMC

"We're not Detrot!"

Well, I'm sold.

The concept of the story was interesting. And Mayor Mare really is an underutilized characters in stories. This reformed Juniper Montage was fun to read about. Always fun to see humans react to the tranformation and the magical universe.

I think I would like to see a sequel to this or something lie that.

10262986
Meanwhile, something like the Large Hadron Collider — provided a way were found to shove it through the mirror in one piece — comes out as a short pamphlet of a spell that an advanced mage like Twilight could use to replicate its effects. :facehoof:

10263742

"Cheating is a strong term. I prefer 'using all available resources.'"

Eh, you say tomato, I say Solanum lycopersicum.

"We're not Detroit."

...I understood that reference. 0_0

Fellow Clevelander, perhaps...?

I need to go get a polish boy sandwich now...

That description is something straight out of an Estee story, and when I read it I immediately checked the author to see if it was in fact from them.

10263443
Where did Dotted Line and the Civil Service originally come from, anyway?

The first time I've heard of the former was in Equestria at War, while the latter was featured in a fic where Pinkie was a changeling.

10264445
10263236
Oh yeah? Well, over here we're not New Jersey!

Disclaimer: Extraordinary disaster rates increase by 1000%. Specialized insurance recommended, available at Ponyville Town Hall.

Comment posted by Yutah123 deleted Jun 2nd, 2020

10266244
Oh! He's from the stories by GhostOfHeraclitus, starting with this one:

https://www.fimfiction.net/story/54117/whom-the-princesses-would-destroy

10266247
Yeaaah, if we were New Jersey I think I'd go full Event Horizon and rip my eyes out. Already would be in hell so no need for the space ship, etc.

"Welcome to sunny New Jersey! The eighth circle of Hell!"

10263900
I think my point about Dunbar's Number still holds, even with that subset. :raritywink:

10263993
(Mirror shows an image of a stag for some reason.)
:twilightoops: "Oh dear, it's stuck on stags again. I'm still not entirely sure how the mirror determines what to change into what, but intention does seem to be a key part. I suspect it also interfaces with the local Spirit of Harmony to divine what a being will need to fulfill their goals in the other world, similar to how the Cutie Map knows who to send to a given friendship mission. Or it has similar divinatory capabilities of its own; Sunset Shimmer has told me about how she saw her reflection as an alicorn."

10264338
Duly noted. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

10264761
That was indeed the inspiration of the source of the cover art. It's been long enough that I can't recall if I saw the Cleveland or Ponyville version first.

10264857
Glad you liked it! Though I can't promise a sequel any time soon. I honestly didn't think there was that much depth to this one.

10264897
Headcanon accepted. (And possibly headcannon, if a unicorn can fire a particle beam from her horn.)

10265009
No, just someone who appreciates the classics.

10265194
I consider that a high compliment indeed. Thanks. :twilightsmile:

10266247
I am, however, from New Jersey. It's actually quite nice, ongoing plague aside.

10267461

That was indeed the inspiration of the source of the cover art. It's been long enough that I can't recall if I saw the Cleveland or Ponyville version first.

Wait, is there an actual pony version of that? Because if so, provide a link. :heart:

10270268
Check the cover image's source link. After why, attribute to a Derpibooru screencap when you can link to the original video?

10270292
True story, literally just yesterday I had an artist comment on one of my stories that I hadn’t attributed his art, and I said that I had; I used FimFic’s functionality to put it in the little hover-over box, but it turns out a lot of readers don’t know about that feature.

What I’m saying is, boy is my face red.

10270365
Hey, don't forget who my spirit animal is. :derpytongue2: I'm the last person in the world who'll condemn a harmless derp-up.

10270375
:heart:

And I think that we can all agree that at least we’re not Detroit.

No offense, but the chapter title and story description makes it sound more political than it actually is.

10267461

I honestly didn't think there was that much depth to this one.

Are you kidding?! It's got background development, character arcs, all sorts of nuance on the nature of politics in Ponyville. I enjoyed every bit of it. Also Juniper Montage appearing in a actual character role, as opposed to a sexual one, which I deeply appreciate by the way. :twilightsmile:

Hello, Mayor Mare fic. :heart: This was a great read, and a highly unusual combination!

10438050
Mayor Mare is such an iconic fixture of Ponyville that only an outside perspective can fully appreciate what she does for the town. You don't get much more outside than the universe next door. Plus, Juniper gets some advice on post-scandal recovery from an expert. I do love a good win-win.

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