• Member Since 16th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen 6 hours ago

redandready45


Fluent in spanish and french. Fan of the Coen Brothers and works of Craig McCracken, Matt Groening, and Stanley Kubrick

T

Featured, October 15, 2017 (Yay!)

Throughout her time at Crystal Prep, Twilight Sparkle had been ignored or scorned by her jealous and well-to-do classmates. She could only rely on her pet dog Spike for companionship.

The Friendship Games, once a way to bring the two schools together, devolved into a cutthroat competition for glory. A competition Principal Abacus Cinch sought to win, even if it meant blackmailing her top student.

Seeking to distract herself from her loneliness, Sparkle sought to study the magic of Canterlot High School. Her experiments, however, wreaked havoc on the games, and brought her the scorn of Sunset Shimmer, who saw the human Twilight as a dangerous nuisance.

In a last-ditch effort at victory, Cinch and the Shadowbolts pushed Twilight into unleashing the magical energies she had collected.

But in their attempt to abuse a force they did not understand, the Shadowbolts unwittingly caused tragedy. But through this tragedy, will the Shadowbolts and others come to understand the value of a single human being? And will Sunset overcome her grief and try to prevent another one?

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 106 )

Interesting take on the situation. I'm very curious to see where it goes.

8358738
Or pulled into another realm....

Oh man, Cinch better lawyer up, 'cause she ain't talking her way out of this one!

It's like a reverse Fractured Sunlight, definitely interested in seeing more

I'm honestly excited about where this story is going to go. Looking most forward to how the Shadowbolts are going to behave regarding what has happened and if Cinch really is as heartless as I expect she is. On my tracking list and looking forward to more.

Wow a new darker take on the friendship games.

good start.

Again, Cinch better get a good lawyer, and I mean one that'd make Johnnie Cochran look like a public defender in comparison, 'cause she's gonna be in a shit load of trouble! Never mind her school's reputation, never mind her career in teaching, her very freedom's gonna be on the line here. As far as anyone can tell, Cinch's actions, both direct and indirect, has lead to the death of one of her students, and her attitude and reactions towards the whole situation show a rather selfish and uncaring attitude that will not go over well with the judge and jury!

8362113
I'm not going to spoil anything, but bringing this case to trial would mean revealing the existence of magic to the public, something that Sunset and the others are not really prepared to do. Is bringing Cinch to justice worth opening that can of worms?

Thanks for commenting on my story, BTW.

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It would be interesting at least, especially if Cinch is stupid and/or desperate enough to claim magic was involved before and evidence of its existence turns up. It'd be nice to see Cinch declared insane for believing that CHS was using magic to cheat, especially if the students of Crystal Prep decide not to back up her claims and basically throw her to the metaphorical jackals.

That's just my opinion, though. This is your story, you do what you think is best.

I thought the emotions were spot on regarding what has just transpired. The feelings of both anger and sadness from both sides were very appropriate, especially Cinch who as I suspected, gives no concern about the life of her student and just saw her as a means to an end. I'm very interested in seeing the aftermath of this, especially what the Shadowbolts are thinking and how they now view their principal.

8362267
Thank you. I'm glad I can write a story than can leave an emotional impact.

I enjoy this story a lot, and I think this has quite some potential. And yet, considering Sci-Twi is a tag and this mentions regular Twi, I wonder if she's still alive, and maybe in Equestria? Since this isn't a 1/2 shot I'm going to assume this is either a coping fic, or some kind of adventure fic. Add in the mystery tag and well, :twilightsmile: I think I have an idea.

I really like your story, especially the focus on character development. On a side note, this is I believe my first comment on any fic. :rainbowkiss:

Comment posted by redandready45 deleted Aug 13th, 2017

Well, I think we all know Twilight's not dead, but still, CINCH!!! YOU LITTLE ****@#***@@@*# :flutterrage:

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I think Sunset thought the same thing.

Very interesting though I wish Sunset had curb stomped cinch

They going to get Cinch fired, or investiagted for sure. Hope they fire cinch and if she starts ranting about magic and such. The School board will think she nuts and had her commited.

MORE! Also, is that confirmation that Twilight is indeed, dead? :applecry:

8367234
Seeing as there's a mystery tag but no tragedy tag, there's still hope that Sci-Twi's still alive. For all we know, she's some where in Equestria right now.

8367505

I'm sorry, what was your question?

8368967
The form that the shadow bolts signed.

Considering Cadence's involvement with the form Lemon Zest and Sugarcoat signed, I think adding her 'Dean Cadence' tag would help. Though that's just me, and if it's okay with you. :scootangel:

Either way, keep up the good work. :yay:

DAMN! Cadence is both Creepy, and Badass at the same time. :pinkiegasp:

A scorch mark in the center that burned part of the path to the entrance

Sounds familiar :pinkiecrazy:

8376907

"When the good ones go angry, they're brutal." -Filipino proverb.

This is amazing.
Keep up the good work.:pinkiehappy:

Wait, do I actually feel bad for Cinch?...nah.

"I still have personal items here," Cinch replied in a broken voice.

"Don't worry Cinch," Cadence said nicely, "I'll make sure every trace of your existence her is removed."

Well, maybe about this part, as I am very sentimental about some of my stuff. :applejackunsure:

8376907

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It's not called "Beware the Nice Ones" for nothing, you know.

8377314

Cinch's main concern is going to be if her stuff will be "somehow destroyed," like the recording of last night's events.


8377334
I hope you understand it isn't just because Cadence knocked Cinch on her ass that this trope applies. Cinch pushed Cadence into committing perjury to get rid of her, which took a bit of ruthless that the Dean never imagined she was capable. Good people won't just want to hurt you if you harm them: they'll do things they would otherwise never do to destroy you.

"Darling wait," Rarity said, "what's wrong?"

What do ya think, sugah cube... :ajbemused: Given all that's just happened, I can't imagine why Sunset should be upset.

Really am fascinated to see where this story goes though, Been a long time two two chapters back to back have had me feeling on edge all the way through.

Well done, Cadance. Legally, your sister has been avenged.

Sunny woke up with a loud scream, cold sweat all over her body, her body back in a sitting position. . She was back in her room, in her nice soft bed. She laid back into bed, tears pouring from her eyes, terrified screams coming from her mouth, but quiet enough that her parents wouldn't hear. Even if they were going to try and comfort her. She didn't deserve it.

(sigh) Poor Shadowbolts, never to be able to sleep peacefully again, knowing they're responsible for the death of a student that they were blind to realize how much she meant to them.

Why is this fic in the Amon a miss section?

"Well maybe she should stop whining, and remember how Celestia and I have bent over backwards to help her," Luna said, unkindly. The Rainbooms were shocked by their Principal losing her patience. Luna noticed this and sighed dejectedly.

SERIOUSLY LUNA WHAT THE HELL!

Princes Twilight Sparkle needs to get on speaker and explain what the freak happened to SciTwi after humane six explain what happened

That's an interetsing take on the Friendship Games, never read that before. :twilightsmile:

So Princess Twilight comes through the portal and is angry? Seems like Sunset closed herself off from the world, but wrote at least the princess about what happened with her counterpart. I wonder what she will do now.

And Sunset herself is probably blaming herself right now and thinks something farfetched like "I had a part in Twilight's death". Because she shouted at her that she shouldn't play with forces she doesn't understand. A completely logical and true statement, but her Pony mind is now in overdrive because of guilt.

Or that's my thought why Sunset suddenly didn't appear at school. Heck, it seems she feels worse than Dean Cadence herself, who attended school depite what happened, and who has much more reasons to feel shattered about Twilight's lose than Sunset ever should have. But that's Pony mentality I guess.

On another note, will Twilight now stay dead, or are you pulling off some Deus ex Machina scene where Twilight will be brought back to life by the "Magic of Friendship" or the Elements of Harmony?

Not that I mind a happy ending, I like it like every average dude, but for me a happy ending should be realistic to some degree. I read so many tragic fics that lived from the suspense, the disbelief, the tragic, the consequences, that I really have to groan when authors pull off some cliched "Deux ex machina ending" that made the whole story plot before the end kind of worthless.

It always feels anticlimatic and cheap when people use the Elements as a McGuffin to rewrite the ending how the Ponies (or humans in this case) desire it.

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Thank you very much for taking the time to read the story.

As for Sunset, you'll see her in the next chapter. I was originally going her in this chapter, but I want to keep my chapters short, and I felt her part would make it too big.

8390491
Yes, what Luna said wasn't really nice and maybe uncalled for, but you have to understand that the principals have to pull off many illegal tricks to cover up the existence of magic, the portal and Equestria itself. They are under a lot of pressure and lucky that so many students were willing to give testimony for this lie with the motorcycle.

And furthermore, they ALL mourn Twilight's lose, but despie that... life continues and stops for nobody. Sounds hard, but it's the truth. Every student continued to attend school (maybe Shining Armor didn't, but he has a very good reason, because his sister died) as well as every teacher and the principals, even Cadence.

They need to work together in all this and Luna is right with her statement that Celestia and she covered for Sunset and everyPONY else since the Fall Formal. They could just point with their fingers at Sunset and say: "Look! She is a magical demon/Pony/alien! We have proof! We can even show you the portal."

The "We-will-be-declared-insane-if-we-try-to-say-that-magic-is-real" statement loses its value when there is enough evidence to support a claim. And Luna and Celestia have to fear every day the moment when their own government appears at their doorstep and asks them questons about "highly unusual and unexplainable events".

That they cover for "aliens" can easily be seen as high treason.

And despite all that Sunset hides herself somewhere where nobody can reach her and doesn't answer any calls or messages, because... why? That Twilight died? Well, duh, everyone else is sad about it as well. Sunset is nothing special in this regard. And then there are the rumors about the "other Twilight's death".

Cadence even agreed to keep magic a secret DESPITE what happened with her "little sister". She could have said: "Fuck this. Magic took away my sister, I'm not bound to keep this a secret!" and tell anybody about it without a care in the world and nobody could have blamed her.

But she didn't.

So yes, Sunset has to stop playing like she's special and should pull herself together. Or how Luna said it fittingly: "Stops whining".

8391215
Shining already graduated, he was an alumni of Crystal Prep (I'm really curious as to what he actually does in the EqG world).

Friendship Games pointed out trying to out magic would come off as ridiculous. The only direct proof would be the portal (which can be closed) or one of the girls ponying up in front of scientists in a controlled environment. It also works off the assumption that the EqG world is our Earth, which seems unlikely with all different crap that's happened in the movies (the sirens never got caught for example). More than likely, in canon, Celestia and Luna did nothing besides not expel Sunset, which she paid back with the sirens. SciTwi never even found videos of the Fall Formal or Battle of the Bands, and only she was able to detect and investigate the mysterious energy, so it seems highly unlikely that there were any strings that needed to be pulled at all.

As for Sunset, there's plenty of reasons (not pony mentality, which is the same as human mentality) for her to be hit much harder. She was pretty much responsible for figuring out how magic worked, and her failure lead to the presumed death of SciTwi. To make matters worse, instead of helping SciTwi, she yelled at her until she ran off in tears, the only time they really spoke. Plus, there's probably massive amounts of survival guilt, as when Sunset got overwhelmed by magic, she survived and got out on the right path after being a terrible person, while SciTwi died for it, when she was lonely and bullied. Lastly, Sunset probably see's herself as having killed her hero's counterpart. Besides, Sunset might have thrown herself head first into researching what happened to SciTwi and if it's possible to bring her back instead of just moping.

As for SciTwi, we don't know that she's actually dead yet. The story is called Vanishing Act, so she could be invisible or a ghost right now.

8393236
Maybe, I didn't thought until now about the possibility that Sunset goes now full mad scientist to find out what exactly happened with Twilight. Especially after Cadence demanded to know what happened and everything the "former protege of magic" could give as an answer was an: "I don't know!"

So yeah, maybe she tries to find out now how she could "find out" about human Twilight's whereabouts. Maybe that is one of the reasons why the princess suddenly appears there shortly after the games in anger.

But I really hope that, in case SciTwi really isnt dead, the solution won't be something cliched Deux ex Machina thing, but "real" magic science.

Or there is nothing to do anymore and Twilight has to pull Sunset out of her own depression.

Whatever will be the case, we will see. :eeyup:

8377056
"Beware the fury of a patient man."
John Dryden

So human Twilight seriously bit into the dust? Well, I hope Princess Twilight learned friendship lessons for this kind of situation that could be used in a abridged version to consul her friend.

The only point that makes me question the possibility that the human Twilight is really dead is the lacking "Tragedy" tag.

And for the fact that Sunset is really blaming herself... *cough* called it.

When will someone tell her that her counterpart died?

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