• Published 11th Aug 2017
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Vanishing Act - redandready45

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Shopping Trip

Author's Note:

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

Albert Einstein

Saturday Morning

Barnyard Bargains, Canterlot Mall

"I think its too juvenile," Shining Armor said to Lemon Zest. "Put it back."

"It's a volcano experiment," Lemon Zest said with confusion as she pulled the box out of the cart. The sleek box revealed it to be a vinegar volcano kit. "Science nerds love this stuff."

The pair were at Barnyard Bargains, the premier department store of the Canterlot Mall. Their cart was loaded with potential gifts they were getting for Twilight for when she would return. Science equipment, her favorite snacks, new clothes, and party supplies for Twilight's return party. Shining was pushing the cart, while Lemon Zest was loading it with various goodies.

"She was already doing those volcanos when she was eight years old," Shining said with a proud smile. "By the time she was a freshman, she was already building her own remote control cars."

"Really?" Lemon Zest said with some awe.

"Yeah," Shining Armor said, "she even built her own remote control helicopter."

"How come I never knew about it?" Lemon asked the blue-haired man.

"Maybe if you let her come to your parties, you might've," Shining said in a passive-aggressive tone and a small frown. Lemon flinched at the ice in his voice.

"Look, its water under the bridge," Shining said in a patient, but tired voice. "I mean, I'm still a little mad, but let's just go forward."

"Sure," Lemon with a sheepish smile. Lemon walked with Shining in the toy section, and started gushing when she saw what was next.

"Ohmigosh, ohmigosh," Lemon said excitedly.

"What is it?" Shining said.

"The Junior Meterologist's Kit," Lemon Zest said, holding a blue package, which had colorful illustrations of weather patterns and the picture of a kid dressed in a lab coat. "I had one of these when I was in middle school."

"You like studying the weather?" Shining asked the pink-haired girl with some curiosity.

"Not just weather," Lemon Zest said the wave of her hand. "I want to study ecology"

"The way you act, I always pictured you as a rock star."

"I mean, I would love to be a rock star," Lemon Zest said with an excited smile. "Standing on a stage, hearing the roar of the crowds, the wind in the air as I stick my head through the limo sunroof!"

Shining Armor looked amused at Lemon's enthusiasm and her gesticulations. She acted like Twilight whenever she was told she was going to go to a library.

"But even though I can act like a meathead," Lemon Zest with facetious tone,"I need something to fall back on." Shining Armor's face twisted into a bit of frown.

"What's wrong?" Lemon Zest asked.

"Nothing," Shining said in a somewhat angered tone.

"Look, dude if your upset about something," Lemon Zest said in a reassuring tone, "tell me. If your pissed at me, its cool. Get it of your chest. I do kind of deserve it." After a moment hesitation, Shining let out an annoyed sigh.

"Alright," Shining said. "You said you like science. And my sister was a scientist. Why did you...push her away?" Lemon Zest let out her own annoyed sigh.

"I didn't think Twilight was uncool because she was smart," Lemon Zest said with a bitter tone. "Sugarcoat is smart. A lot of my friends are smart." Her lips pursed into a frown. "But they don't always have to show off how smart they are."

"So Twilight did act like a know-it-all," Shining surmised.

"Yeah," Lemon Zest said. "And...even though I think ecology is cool, I know my friends don't care. But Twilight...she tried to talk about whatever facts she knew."

"I see," Shining Armor said, a thoughtful frown on his face.

"And...I really hate school," Lemon Zest said.

"A lot of people do," Shining Armor.

"I mean, I think a lot of school is useless," Lemon Zest with deep scorn. "I mean, I'm not saying you shouldn't be in school. But...like...they don't teach you anything useful."

"You don't think reading and writing-,"

"Bro, I knew how to do that when I was six years old," Lemon Zest said with an annoyed smile. "In high school, the only things they teach you are how to fill out bubbles on a sheet." Lemon Zest in a mocking tone. "I already wanted to be an ecologist when I was in middle school. But instead, they teach me things I don't care about, like geometry, and physics, and 'just say no to drugs'."

"Oh yeah. They were always big on that," Shining Armor said with a smile. "I remember that one commercial where they said, 'this is your brain,' and they show the egg."

"And then they fry the egg and say 'this is your brain if you do drugs'," Lemon said while snickering.

"And if you have bacon, I guess your brain is a balanced breakfast," Shining said with snort.

"Yeah," Lemon said facetiously. "Why are drugs so bad if you get some protein and nutrients out of them?" The two started chuckling at that.

"Have you ever tried pot?" Shining asked Lemon. Lemon looked askance at that. "Look, don't worry," Shining said with a wave of his hand,"I'm not gonna squeal. Cadence and I did it, but don't tell her I said that." He then gave Lemon a mischievous wink.

"Yeah," Lemon Zest said with disdain, "and I didn't suddenly start pawning my mom's gems for needle money, which one police officer said would happen if I tried pot once."

"Same," Shining said equal disdain. "I mean, you shouldn't do pot, but they made you think pot was, like, some evil demon."

"That's one of the reasons why we didn't invite Twilight to our parties," Lemon Zest. "I mean, she was a teacher's pet and really uptight. So-,"

"You thought she was a gonna rat you out to Cinch," Shining asked with knowing eyes.

"Pretty much," Lemon said sadly.

"I guess I can't fault you on that," Shining Armor said reluctantly.

"Getting back on topic," Lemon said empathetically, "school doesn't make you a super genius. It just...assumes you are," Lemon Zest said with some frustration. "Instead of teaching you things you want to learn, it makes you learn about nerd stuff that you don't really need to know, like knowing what a rhombus is. Do you remember what a rhombus is?"

"No," Shining said, nodding his head. "I work as a private detective."

"Neither does my older sister," Lemon said with some disdain. "She doesn't know about the Changeling War, she never even took a business course, and she never got a four year degree. And she makes a killing selling 3D-printed jewelry online. But all teachers call called her stupid and said she would never get anywhere."

"Yeah, I can get by that," Shining Armor said more enthusiastically.

"When people like Twilight raise their hand, begging for the teacher's attention," Lemon Zest said with some annoyance, "the teachers always complain about how dumb we are for not knowing stuff like Twilight said. Twilight's problem wasn't that she was smart. Her problem was that she made us all feel stupid in front of the teachers, for not knowing shit we're gonna forget about anyways when we graduate."

"Did you ever tell her that?" Shining asked seriously. Lemon gaped at the white-skinned man. "Did you ever think about tapping her on the shoulder and told her she was being a little annoying?"

"I...I guess I didn't," Lemon Zest said sadly. "I mean...I never really hated Twilight. But she was always so....square. The first time I met her, she freaked out over being late to class once. She acted like she committed murder. I guess...I always pictured her as having a stick up her butt," Lemon said sadly. "And...maybe...I was going along with what everyone else was doing," she finished shamefully. Shining, however, didn't look at all upset.

"Since we're opening up," Shining said with a small smile, "can I give you some advice?"

"Yeah."

"When you're young, the cool, hip, and exciting person is the person you hang out with," Shining Armor said. "But when you get older, you sometimes find the square to be a better option. When I first dated Cadence, she was this fun, exciting person. But when I started thinking about college, and career and bills, I got tired of that. Cadence had a lot of friends who were just as hot, or even hotter than her. But a lot of them kept acting like party girls into their 20s, and I stopped caring. Cadence grew up, and became a lot more square, so I stayed with her."

"Are you saying I should meet someone like that?" Lemon.

"Yeah, but you also might like friends who are like that," Shining said. "I agree with you that Twilight was pretty square. I'm probably the only older brother who wanted my younger sister to bend the rules. But when it came to building a future, my sister is hands down the best. My sister figured how out her college credits before freshman year when not even graduate students know. When you start thinking about college and stuff, my sister could be the go to person."

"I guess," Lemon said.

"Maybe you and your friends had a stick up your butts too," Shining said. Lemon looked at Shining with astonishment. "You kind of dwelled on Twilight's awkwardness. But sometimes...a little uptightness can be a good thing. A friend like Twilight could help you in a jam, like studying, or...if you all got drunk, she could help drive you guys home." Lemon Zest looked sad at that. "Look, you know better know," Shining said warmly, "so as Cadence said, all we can do is go forward."

"I guess," Lemon Zest said, fighting the tear that kept trying to erupt.

"And one more thing," Shining Armor said in a serious tone. "I know you don't like school, and I agree with you that a lot of what they teach is useless. But you still got to go. Yeah, your sister did well without it, but having an education and a degree is still very helpful for finding work."

"You're right," Lemon said without hesistation.

"If you want to change the whole education system, fine," Shining said. "Go build some alternative school. But get in the box before you try and jump out, so you have something you can fall back on."

"Sounds good," Lemon agreed humbly.

After their talk, the two continued their shopping trip.

"OK, so the last thing we need is a new telescope," Shining said, holding the list while carrying some of the bags.

"Where's the Space Store," Lemon said. All around them, they suddenly heard cheering, applauding behind them. They turned around and everyone looked at the stage, staring at a man in a red shirt and khaki pants holding a microphone.

"The Canterlot Karaoke Contest starts in about an hour," the man said into the microphone. "Last call to sign up."

"Karaoke," Lemon and Shining said in unison. They stared at each other.

"You like karaoke?" Lemon said.

"I love it," Shining said.

"Let's go sign up," Lemon said, pulling the white-skinned man by his arm. "I hope they have To Die For on the machine.

"I love To Die For!" Shining pratically bellowed.

"I love times a thousand!" Lemon said.

"I love times infinity!" Shining bellowed playfully.

"PROVE IT!"


Lemon and Shining sang a duet, riling up the crowd with their awesome lyrics and righteous tone.

"Baby I now you hate me, you say your spoken for," Lemon Zest sang.

"But baby let me tell you," Shining sang, "I think you're to die for!"

The crowed cheered them on, to their amusement and joy.

"And that was Lemon and Shining," the announcer said. "Potentially, our newest brother and sister singing duo." Shining tried to correct him, but was elbowed by Lemon into shutting his trap.

When the competition was over, the two finished their shopping trip by getting the telescope

The two walked out of the mall with tons of gifts in one of their hands, and a third place trophy that they held together, Both of them were wearing proud smiles. While they had a hard task ahead, the two agreed this was definitely a better-than-average day.

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