//------------------------------// // No Stone Unturned // Story: Vanishing Act // by redandready45 //------------------------------// As an investigator in Canterlot's Royal Police, Gold Badge had seen many strange things: cupcake trafficking, furniture abuse, somepony who could put the sugar before the coffee. But his new assignment was, perhaps, the most...odd. Because of how many holes it seemed to have. "A pony who has replicated your magic signature?" the blue stallion unicorn asked with utter disbelief. "And they are not a changeling?" Princess Twilight scratched the back of her mane. "Yes," she said with decidedly non-regal eye darting. Princess Twilight was new at her role, and she wasn't as good at masking her emotions as her fellow royals, "that is why I must ask you to keep it on a need-to-know-basis." The idea of a non-changeling who could replicate somepony's magical signature was unimaginable. That was something that could never be fooled. There was something more to this investigation than a mere imposter. Gold gestured to the list of ponies. "And these are the....leads of the ponies you wanted me to look at?" "Yes," Princess Twilight said with a stronger nod of her head. "And why do you believe these leads will lead me to the...imposter?" "Because fate has directed it..." Princess Twilight said with what the lavender mare thought was a stern, regal look. But to Gold Badge, the Princess looked like some kind of foal pretending to be a warrior. Despite her ascension, Princess Twilight was still, in many ways, the little filly who built a fort of her favorite books. But while Princess Twilight was undeniably awkward, she was an astute mare who achieved her goals. It was for that reason Gold Badge would accept the assignment, despite Princess Twilight leaving out some facts. "Very well Princess," Gold Badge said with a stern gaze, "I will pursue this investigation and your leads." A grateful smile appeared on the Princess' face. "Thank you sir. " She levitated something out of a rucksack. It was a staff build from blue crystals, with a large, clear spherical gem on top. "This is a scanner with my signature that Starlight Glimmer assembled," Princess Twilight said. She pointed it to herself, and the clear gem turned green. "If you can find my other-I mean, my imposter, than it will turn green." He pointed it to Gold Badge, and it turned red. "If not, it will turn red." "Of course, Princess," Gold Badge said with a nod, "I will do your bidding." "This is boring." Gold Badge looked at his assistant, Note Pad, with a odd look. "What's boring?" The two had entered Canterlot's largest insane asylum. It was here where there was a whole wing dedicated to ponies who thought they were Princess Twilight. They entered a commons room, where patients and orderlies interacted. The young yellow stallion frowned like a foal that missed a fireworks display. "I thought there'd be ponies dancing with lampshades on their heads and talking to their imaginary friends." He gestured to an orderly that was playing chess with one depressed looking pony with a dark violent coat. "Instead, everything is so- "Note Pad." Note Pad looked at his superior with a bit of fear. "Mental illness is not a joke," he continued in a scolding voice. "These ponies have severe issues or have suffered trauma. You don't treat them like clowns for amusement? Got it." Note Pad looked like a scolded child. "Yes sir." The chess-playing patient let out a triumphant 'checkmate', much to the amused surprise of the orderly. They continued to the Twilight ward, and what they saw made their jaws drop. There were Twilight Sparkles everywhere. Some fat, some thin, some short, some tall, some old, some young. "This is the Twilight Sparkle wing," The nurse escorting them said with some exhaustion. "I'm Twilight Sparkle!" A fat impersonator exclaimed. "No, I'm the Element of Magic!" "I am best princess!" "Of course you all are," the nurse humored with a tired expression. Gold Badge held up his staff, and it turned red no matter where he pointed it. He approached the most Twilight looking Twilight, which was a shorter version of the mare he knew. It turned red. "I really like your mane," the faux-Twilight gushed. "Of course you do," Gold Badge said with forced politeness to mask his frustration. The nurse looked sympathetic. "I'm sorry sir." "Disappointment is a part of the job, ma'am," Gold Badge said with a sheepish smile. "But we must move forward. Come on Note Pad, let's-," "Do you think Smarty Pants is the best toy eve?r!" Note Pad asked. He smiled as one Twilight starting leaping in the air shouting "Yes" over and over. "NOTE PAD!" The yellow stallion galloped back to Gold Badge with a nervous smile and sheepishly left. Gold Badge found himself in Whinneypeg, knocking on the door of some custom candy shop. An Earth pony mare emerged from the door. She had a grey coat, a white mane tied into pigtails, and orchid bespectacled eyes. The mare looked at him without any passion. "Yes." "Officer Gold Badge," the stallion said. "And his number one assistant, Note Pad," the yellow stallion butted in, pulling out his notepad like he was pulling a sword and getting into battle. "You look like your trying to overcompensate for your lack of success by putting extra effort into an effortless position." Note Pad frowned furiously at the accusation, while Gold Badge let out a chuckle. "He's a goofball, but we tolerate him," Gold Badge said playfully, to which Note Pad let out an adorably petulant frown. He held up a picture. "Have you encountered a mare who looks like this?" "Grape Juice," Sugarcoat summoned. The purple unicorn approached them. The mare panicked when he saw the officer. "OK I admit it!" Grape Juice wailed. "I took two candies from the sample table." She held up her hooves. "Take me to Tartarus like the wretched criminal I have." "Sorry," Sugarcoat said with a roll of her eyes. "My assistant can be melodramatic." "Just like Princess Twilight," Note Pad uttered. The officer and assistant looked at the each other with jaws dropped. They pulled out the staff and pointed it at the mare. It turned red. "No dice," Note Pad said. "Please make it quick and painless!" Grape Juice uttered, "A speedy death is what I deserve!" "Sorry for bothering you," Gold Badge said to Sugarcoat. "Have a good day," Note Pad finished. The two galloped away. "Oh Sugarcoat," the purple unicorn complained, "what can I do to repay you." Sugarcoat stoically glared at Grape Juice. "Go jump in a lake." "Right, I must cleanse myself of all my sins," Grape Juice said, galloping out of the shop. Sugarcoat took her glasses off and massaged her temples. "They come here, they always come here," Sugarcoat muttered to the sky, "how do they find me?" "Would you like to enter the club?" Lemon Zest asked the pair of police ponies. "Yes." "WELL YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT IN LINE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!" Sour Sweet bellowed. Gold Badge flashed his badge. The tan pegasus let out a nervous chuckle. "How would you like the first chair," she said in a sweet tone. The two were outside some comedy club in Las Pegasus. "No, no, we're not here to see a show." Gold Badge said. "We just want to speak to one of your performers," Note Pad added. The crowd chuckle as some purple unicorn mare with an orange mane belted herself in the face with a pie. "Pie in the sky," the mare said whimsically. Everypony laughed. Note Pad chuckled, but Gold Badge dismissed the spectacle as juvenile. "She's our newest member," Lemon Zest said happily. "She joined two months ago." This piqued the interest of Gold Badge, since Princess Twilight warned that would be the time the imposter vanished. "She was so nervous and timid we had to hire the poor dear," Sour Sweet said kindly. "BUT SHE'S STILL AN AMATEUR!" The oranged-maned mare suddenly did a stage fall. "Look at me, falling down on the job," the comedian shouted. The crowd laughed, not hearing the mare let out a sob of pain. Note Pad winced a bit at that, not enjoying pain despite his juvenile mindset. Gold Badge put aside his discomfort, and held up the staff. It turned red. "Never mind," Gold Badge grunted. He trotted away, with Note Pad following along. The yellow stallion bumped into a table with a bespectacled fuchsia unicorn in a business suit. "Sorry", he said to the annoyed mare. "Why would anypony set up a base in the desert?" Note Pad grunted, not enjoying the extreme desert heat. They ended up in a military base in the badlands, near the border with the Dragon Lands. The pegasus soldier was escorting them around the base. "Gems!" Indigo Zap said with incredible enthusiasm. She was dressed in bronze armor. She flew upward to a large mining operation in the distance. "This land, the Rockhoof Basin, is the largest gem mine in all of Equestria. But this land is full of dogs, bandits, and monsters. So it is up to us to defend the loot." They heard a roar in the distance. Gold Badge and Note Pad saw that in land behind a fence, five ponies were fighting off a large scorpion creature. "Man, this is like a Daring Do novel!' Note Pad said with excitement as the ponies proceeded to pounce on the monster. "Oh that's nothing," Indigo said with a fierce grin. "That's just training for the rookies." She gushed as the rookies pounded the monster into paste. Gold Badge was stunned while Note Pad watched with excitement. Indigo led them into the base, where they encountered a nervous, shy unicorn with glasses and her mane in a bun. She had a lab coat on her body. "This is Crystalline," Indigo said with a smile. "H-hello," the nervous mare said. Indigo then tackled the poor mare, and playfully noogied her. "Or as we call her, the Egghead." "Leave me alone," Crystalline whimpered. Gold Badge held up the staff. It turned red. "Nothing," Gold Badge said. The two trotted away. "Officer, I am being murdered," Crystalline wailed as Indigo continued to pin her. "Loosen up," Indigo snarked with some disgust. "Children," Sunny Flare said with some cheer, "meet Officer Gold Badge and his assistant. Aren't they super?" The two officers felt their eardrums rupture as the schoolchildren let out a chorus of shrill greetings. "Can I become a police officer?" "Can I see your cutie mark?" "How many bad ponies did you catch?" "Do you own a cannon?" "Can I have a cannon?" "How many cannons can I have?" "Maybe if we play dead, they'll go away," Note Pad muttered. "Don't worry, they'll tired themselves out eventually," Gold Badge whispered, pointing his staff at Binder, a purple unicorn, and Sunny Flare's assistant. The gem turned red. Gold Badge let out an annoyed sigh, before storming away, with Note Pad following along. "Say goodbye to the officers little foals." "DON'T YOU WANT TO STAY FOR SONG TIME!" One foal shrieked. The two police ponies panicked and started galloping out of the school. "Run away!" "No, they'll smell our fear!"