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I'm a guy who's new to fanfic writing and intends to write about ideas I am really interested in. Yeah, that's about it.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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In the chapter Day 2, Part 1 of your story, you wrote:
I don't think 'vicious' is the right word (vicious: deliberately cruel or violent); instead, you want 'viscous' (viscous: having a thick, sticky consistency between solid and liquid).
Putting this here to make it more likely for you to see it.