• Member Since 12th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Toon4Thought


I'm a guy who's new to fanfic writing and intends to write about ideas I am really interested in. Yeah, that's about it.

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After a few years of studies and a couple years of fighting magical forces, Sunset Shimmer and her six friends are all set to graduate from Canterlot High and are eager to seek out their futures. That is, except for Sunset Shimmer, who has started to become a little homesick for Equestria, and as such, is unsure of which world she should stay in.

Meanwhile, the magical buildup behind the cracked portal causes it to grow into a big gaping hole, causing larger quantities of magic to leak into their world and threaten to contaminate more than just their city. Will the seven girls be able to stop the flow of magic for good in time for graduation, and will their friendship be able to survive this catastrophe?

This story is my vision of Equestria Girls getting a true finale.

Based on an idea by Cameron Marston.

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 40 )

> what we saw was not her reflection
"we" should be "she"

I'm curious about this:
Rainbow Dash: "now I have something to fight against and feel like a true hero."

What is she fighting, or talking about? I can understand that she has done all sorts of things, and it sounds like she has no intention of just putting her geode away and being normal, but what makes her think that other things to fight against will show up? I mean, it's not like there's a show spotlighting on them anymore :-)

Meanwhile, please, lets see more. And yes, I'm upset at ... Hasbro? Hub? Discovery Family? Who exactly is in charge of no resolution for EqG?

9812809
Rainbow is essentially referring to the various magical forces she and the others have been continually dealing with. She's "fighting" the malicious energy. And it's continually been popping up at this point, so she felt safe to assume they'll just keep coming.

I'm very sure Hasbro is the one to blame for pulling EqG where they did. I hope this story at least helps ease the pain.

I'm liking this so far! While the announcement of ending the EqG series without its proper conclusion was still fresh to me like a wound, a fanfic of a possible ending of the series is the perfect medicine!

Definitely tracking this! :twilightsmile:

Will Cinch and the Dazzlings appear? Since this is your take on an EG finale, these unreformed villains should appear. My idea is that they discover the Equestrian magic and decide to use it to get revenge on the Mane 7.

So glad you're finally getting this from mind to computer to us. You already told me the synopsis. Here's to hoping it's just as great as you say.

Give our girls a grand send-off :pinkiehappy:!

i would laugh if the portal was closed and they ran into a solid statue lol

This was great and all but there's still a chance equestria girls might continue on and eventually get a proper ending

Keep going, even if the show continues fresh perspectives are always welcome.

It's alright. I may not have HATED "Spring Breakdown," but it definitely was the lowest one of the movie series. Besides, with a couple of exceptions, there's not really much to tie it to the others. Also, I think a lot of folks will agree with you that this way is much better.

Looks like a great start so far. I'm definitely interested to see where this goes from here!

For a second, when the chapter began with Sunset waking up and seeing the crazy magic, I thought that we were gonna be starting out with a nightmare of hers or something. Heh. Glad to know I was wrong. XD

Interesting decision to retcon away Spring Breakdown.

I'll be looking forward to seeing how it goes in the next chapter.

9826588
Frankly, I didn't hate it either. I just think they should've saved that idea for a more suitable plot-line like this one.

Besides, this decision had less to do with my opinion of the special and more just the fact that doing so made things easier for me. Again, the plot was thought up before that aired and let's just say that later in the story, there's a major plot point that Breakdown would've rendered nonsensical.

Geez I was expecting a bit more reluctance in potentially losing a friend forever.

9830247
The idea is that they're too put off by her objection over the easy way out (to something that's much more high stakes than simply losing a friend) to really focus on that.

Also, rest assured, the story is set to come back to the "lack of reluctance" thing.

Oh man... I have mixed feelings in this chapter.

On the one hoof, the magic is causing so much chaos and potentially destroying the human world. So I can understand why the Rainbooms (especially Applejack) wanted to close the portal permanently as soon as possible.

On the other hoof, Sunset just poured her feelings out to her friends about being homesick and feared of being separated and alone, no matter which world she chooses. And now she was forced to choose which world she would have to stay. But despite that, her friends (except Sci-Twi) pretty much tells her, "Yeah it sucks, but we have to close it, so deal with it!" and just leaves her friend all alone brawling (except Sci-Twi).

Again, I understand why they wanted to close the portal for the sake of their world, but a part of me was also angry at them for being so inconsiderate of Sunset's feelings, except for Sci-Twi and Twilight.

Whatever happens next, I get the feeling that this'll end in heartbreak... especially for Sunset. :fluttershysad:

9830302
To be fair, Applejack and Rarity do state that they understand what she's going through. And their inconsiderateness toward Sunset's feelings stem from them getting the impression she's being inconsiderate towards them and the bigger picture.

Admittedly though, this wasn't conveyed the best. I do appreciate your input, since I was unsure on how this section in particular would come across.

Will the rest of the mane 6 meet their counterparts soon?

The ending of this chapter sure was sad

I hope everything goes well for sunset. In my opinion I think she should stay in the human world . Look I know she isn't from there but she's has a great life there and prefers to be there. Sure her real home is in equestria but if she wants to continue being in the human world I'd say she should go for it and hopefully continue to make more great memories and making new friends

*Sunset remained modest about the warm welcome. Sure, what just happened with their counterparts was still on her mind, but… maybe she could start fresh with the pony versions. Maybe saying goodbye to her current friendships wouldn't be so bad after all…*
****

Famous last words Sunset...

Next chapter will be up Friday; there's simply a lot to rework in that one. Plus, should I keep to the 'every 4th day' schedule afterward like I have been, it'll allow me to post the ninth and final chapter on a weekend. The last two chapters I have much more figured out, so I know those won't be pushed back.

hmmm sounds like sunset has thought of a way to stay in the human world. if she had to have returned, her and princess Twi woulda forgotten three other magical beings, aka the sirens

9854881
It's the magical objects native to Equestria that had to be removed, not the physical beings. Sunset and the Sirens can stay there and the portal would close fine.

So if there's 2 chapters to go than that means this is story was a total of 9 chapters

In the final chapter there should be a new horse statue built on the portal, but it's shaped like pony Sunset.

Hopefully in the final chapter it won't be too emotional and we'll get to figure out what sunset will now do and what'll happen to the mane 7 and their new future?

Not a bad conclusion, all in all. :pinkiesmile:

I enjoyed the ending with sunset still being with her friends after graduating CHS I still hope the actual Equestria Girls series will get a proper ending and that it might be similar to this but still this sure was a great story and I'm glad sunset stayed on earth I give this story a thumbs up 👍

Alright, so I finished reading this up.

Let's start with room for improvement:

After a few years of studies and a couple years of fighting magical forces, Sunset Shimmer and her six friends are all set to graduate from Canterlot High and are eager to seek out her futures.

Now, I wouldn't want to point out specific examples of grammar/spelling errors unless they're very egregious, but an error in the synopsis needs to be pointed out. I'm guessing you meant "to seek out their futures," right?

As for the story itself: there are very few grammar errors here, few enough that they're just momentary stops in the story. They didn't detract a lot from my experience with the story, so that's great. You're pretty good on the technical side of writing.

The only other thing that might've detracted from it (though, in hindsight, I'm not so sure) is how nonchalant Sunset and Sci-Twi were in Equestria when things were going horribly back on Earth. Yes, it is to de-stress and relax from all the stress of Sunset's decision and the disaster happening back home, but considering that they may not know how fast the magic is spreading on the other side, a spa trip seems a bit too much. Then again, perhaps I'm just reading my panicky self into the lines, so take the above with a grain of salt.

Now, on to the bright side: At first, I thought that some of your prose was too telly. However, later on, I realized that this, combined with the story's Everybody rating, gave me a sort of nostalgia: that, really, this prose wouldn't be too out of place in the Geronimo Stilton series, which I loved a lot back then, or even the My Little Pony chapter books (though I haven't read any of them yet). So, in terms of prose/tone being as faithful to the show as possible, you nailed it.

Sunset's conflict about either staying on Earth or going back to Equestria isn't exactly a new thing, judging by how many fics here tackled the subject, but it's refreshing to see the take-a-third-choice compromise done right (and as faithful to the show as possible too!) Both Sunset and her friends realize and come to terms with their flaws in thinking the way they do about Sunset's conflict, so when the compromise is actually done, it doesn't feel like a cheat—rather, it's well earned. Among other things, I certainly didn't expect the Humane Seven to become Earth's ambassadors to Equestria... but, really, this feels like the logical conclusion with Equestria Girls' magic fiascos becoming ever more public. On that note and more, this really does fulfill its role as a what-if Equestria Girls finale.

On top of that, you portrayed the characters well. Not much else I can say here other than: keep doing what you're doing there.

Overall, this is a great story and, if it were official, would be a perfectly fitting end to the spin-off franchise! Thank you for this riveting tale!

9888420

Now, I wouldn't want to point out specific examples of grammar/spelling errors unless they're very egregious, but an error in the synopsis needs to be pointed out. I'm guessing you meant "to seek out their futures," right?

How did I miss that? Well, it's fixed now.

Sunset's conflict about either staying on Earth or going back to Equestria isn't exactly a new thing, judging by how many fics here tackled the subject, but it's refreshing to see the take-a-third-choice compromise done right (and as faithful to the show as possible too!) Both Sunset and her friends realize and come to terms with their flaws in thinking the way they do about Sunset's conflict, so when the compromise is actually done, it doesn't feel like a cheat—rather, it's well earned. Among other things, I certainly didn't expect the Humane Seven to become Earth's ambassadors to Equestria... but, really, this feels like the logical conclusion with Equestria Girls' magic fiascos becoming ever more public. On that note and more, this really does fulfill its role as a what-if Equestria Girls finale.

I'm glad you saw my take as a fresh one. The "homesick Sunset" concept was actually kind of where the story began; when I found out about the deleted scenes in Friendship Games, I strongly believed they should bring the idea back. Not only that, but I also thought they should go more all out than FG would've, because I always found Sunset's background - being the only pony to fully become human, both physically and mentally - beyond fascinating, thus I felt it should be pushed to its most natural extreme. And as time went on, I decided that a finale would be the best place to put it, as it would really be the perfect way to conclude her character, I thought. Yeah, the series has given plenty of signs that Sunset's true home is the human world, but it's the kind of life decision that I think should be made concrete, especially considering her background.

And while I was well aware going in that this was a popular idea among fic writers, I never really came across a take that presented itself as something trying to resemble an official story. That's not a knock against those takes at all, of course - one of the wonderful things about fanfics is its ability to tackle whatever flavor you choose - but it is a version I thought people would want to see. Plus, with the mini-outline that Cameron Marston offered (he came up with the portal breaking, the Humane Six visiting Equestria, and them ending up as ambassadors), I found this very naturally fit in as the emotional core.

Overall, this is a great story and, if it were official, would be a perfectly fitting end to the spin-off franchise! Thank you for this riveting tale!

You are very welcome. I'm glad you enjoyed the story and viewed it as a worthy finale to EqG. I'm still holding out hope we will eventually find out what Nick Confalone actually had in mind, or at least get some conclusion on Sunset's character in a IDW comic.

But until (and, more importantly, if) that happens, I believe this would very much soften the blow to anyone who are disappointed with the series being pulled like it did. I know writing this story has felt very satisfying for me, in just getting a full-blown, convincing headcanon out there.

9822642
Perhaps in comics.

Hope they remembered to leave the book...

I'm also kind of surprised that the other 5 are so unconflicted over losing magic - sure, it might be necessary, but Rainbow beiing all on board with never flying again? Fluttershy to never hearing an animal speak? And has Twilight even thought of how this would affect Spike?

9854889
However, doesn't that make the whole plan moot if there's even one item there they don't know about? I mean, it's not like they knew about any of the existing ones in advance.

A nice piece with some neat ideas and cool setpieces, but also arguable plot holes, OOC moments and "could-have-beens". In other words - congrats in managing to perfectly create an EQG special!

10285770
Yes but I still think the show ain't over

i think that your ending is not exactly an ending. The question arises: What if Sunset and Flash had kids?
That would be where MLP EG would end.

after when they graduated what jobs and careers did they have?

Now that what I call a finale

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