After seeking refuge in Equestria during the Anon-A-Miss fiasco, Sunset Shimmer is stranded in Equestria. Convinced that she's just not cut out for friendship, Sunset throws herself back into her studies. Unfortunately for her, all the magic around CHS has attracted the attention of a certain spectacled scientist. When her device accidentally pulls the mysterious energy from the statue in front of the school, she is shocked when an amber unicorn was pulled out with it. With the portal not working, the two must work together to gather the energy needed to send Sunset home from the only magical source left to tap: Sunset's former friends, all while dealing with the overbearing principal of Crystal Prep as the Friendship Games approach.
Chapters (50)
I'll follow this for now.
Looking forward to seeing where this goes
You know something? This would be actually be good if you dropped the connection to the absolute pile of shit comic that I refuse to name.
Seriously, there are plenty of ways it could work without dragging the comic into it. Unless you're one of those... People, who actually think it's actually a good story.
Then I've got nothing.
For your first story, this is pretty darned good, and I'm looking forward to more.
Have a Favorite, a Track and a Like.
On another note, though:
Oh, Sunset, Sunset, Sunset.
Filly, you should know that saying stuff like is just a gilt-edged invitation for Mr. Murphy to intervene, and for you to end up in a mess.
On a secondary note, I'm surprised I'm the first one to comment on that bit at the end.
Intriguing premise, fairly solid writing. I'm in, let's see where this goes.
10312984
Seriously, her and Twilight both have quite the fascination with tempting fate in that manner, and are both supposedly smart enough that they should know better.
10313003
Supposedly being the operative word.
Not to be a grammar nazi, just trying to help. Great story so far.
Maybe add an apostrophe to show AB’s country slang. Also I don’t think you need another quotation mark in the middle of her rant I les you meant to break it up somewhere.
Hole.
Not too sure, but I think a comma is needed here.
The shoulders of the other girl(s) OR the girl’s (girls’) shoulders. Also add us.
10313120
I think I got the major offenders. Thanks. Just PM mistakes and I can fix them.
10313003 Yeah, they do, and indeed.
That always seems to come back to bite them right in the plot sooner or later, too.
And in Sunset's case, Karma/Murphy will be in the form of a certain bespectled Crystal Prep student.
And no, I don't mean Sugarcoat.
10313047 Good point.
okay, I gotta ask, when choosing a bad guy for these, why is the trend always Gilda as the bad guy, she wasn't that evil in the show, mean yes but not as evil as these make her.
Well at least the girls are smart enough to figure out sunset can't be anon a miss. But a little to late
10313268
People can never seem to be original with this genre. I don't think Gilda was even in the comic itself.
10313268
10313317
No, as far as I'm aware there is no EG Gilda in cannon. After watching FIM Gilda's first appearance though, it's clear that she's not a fan of being laughed at. So translating that to a human world, where the object of your anger isn't surrounded by her friends, but alone in a school, I think her temper might have a bit more chance to get away from her. I never said she was bad, just hot-headed and Sunset did stumble into her at probably the worst time. FIM Gilda gets a chance to make amends. No one at CHS has that chance at the moment.
You know, its almost a shame Sunset is going to be isekaied back to Terra by SciTwi. I would simply LOVE to see what would happen to Starlight, if, when she gets to the castle before Twilight and Spike, Sunset was home.
Oh potential Starlight invlovement
10312960
Personally I think it’s because it’s a bad story that people use it as consistently as they do. A remarkably bad story in an avid fandom invites change. As well there are so many ways to improve it. Have people not be idiots, play up the absurdity of the situation for comedy, embrace the more likely tragic result and explore the complex reactions of guilt, have Sunset not be as fragile, and many more besides. I read Anon A Miss stories because it’s a fascinating playground for people to let loose in. I have no illusions to the original being good, but I have seen many truely great works come out of people giving their take on it.
Add an “it.”y
That’s all I could find.
Just add some commas.
10316327
Fixed
Known.
Not.
Great chapter once again.
Delete the comma.
Delete the quotation marks.
Anyways can’t wait for this story to take off.
Look.
This.
Here.
Having to be here.
Delete the second ‘One.‘
Following this story so far. And yeah I’ll PM the mistakes I catch from now on.
10317742
All fixed.
Two chapters in one day? Nice :)
Ah, the perfect storm of trouble. Time spells cast by villainous unicorns out to accidentally destroy society as they know it, tired unicorns who forget the thaumic isolation protocols, and scientists meddling with things they don't understand. You just had to say something, didn't you Sunset?
Well, we have suspicions, but next chapter we get to find out just what body Sunset is in.
I like this two chapters in a day thing, like a lot.
I see what you did there.
I'm confused on the timeline here. Sometimes it's hinted at three or so months, sometimes it's hinted at a year, and if we go based on the 30 moons basis it's been 4 months. Any definitive answer or is that more explained later?
10326004
No problem, it's mentioned by Spike and clarified a bit later, but if you're curious it has been 3 moons. For Canterlot High, that's about 3 months. Anon-a-miss is right before Christmas so now it's mid-late March. Camp Everfree would be a spring break activity not long after. For Sunset it's been just over a year. I think my math had it at about 15 months.
The story description is overselling of what is actually happened in the prologue. Twilight's device simply blew up. Plus last time I checked Sunset has no right to tell Princess Twilight what to do.
Oh boy, I wonder how Sunset Shimmer is going to react that she's still a unicorn.
I can understand the impulse, but really, taking a small, oddly colored, apparent unicorn to a local animal shelter could cause any number of reactions.
10332292
How about how Sci-Twi will react to Sunset saying something about getting bucked in the head when she wakes up?
Well this story is taking a direction I didn't expect. Was expecting sunset to be human and now stuck on this side of the mirror. She joins crystal prep to stay close to twilight since she is the only one who can help her get home and also to avoid the rainbooms. As they become closer they help each other through their issues, Twilight with opening herself up to friendship and not being a loner and Sunset with getting some resolution with her old friends. Not saying its a bad direction, just unexpected. Making her a pony does present some challenges so interested to see where this goes now.
10332320
How was this a surprise? The description already told us this would be the case.
10332312
Hmm.
So how much you guys want to bet that that animal shelter is the very one that Fluttershy is working at?
If so.......
Welp, THIS'LL be interesting, to say the least
10332348
An excellent point that I wish I had thought of sooner.
10332478 Thank you.
10332348 Almost certain, but since the Rainbooms seem to be in school, Fluttershy will most likely not be there.
10333084 Hmmm.
Forgot about that l'il detail.
I still have the feeling that she's gonna run into them at some point in during this mess.
And since Princess Twi and Spike are time-gallivanting courtesy of a certain mare that I still absolutely despise, it'll likely be awhile before she's able to come riding to the "rescue".
10333406
To be fair, most creature other than ponies or mythical ones have fairly normal coloring. Cows, pigs, bears, birds and rabid and such look normal in Equestria and I think we’ve seen some horses in Human land that looked normal. So not unreasonable to believe sunsets pony coloring would be odd on an animal.
10332312
She is just oddly colored pony. No one would bet a eye
Okay I need you to continue the story but if you are sick or have writer's block I respect that
10333084
10333101
I thought that at first too, but when you look at it a little more closely, school actually wasn't still in session. The CMC were serving detention dusting the trophies, and AJ was there supervising the CMC, as well as protecting them. That kind of thing is an after school event. RD was just moping in the band room, since they don't play any more. The question is whether today is one of Fluttershy's work/volunteer days or not.
Also, remember that this is the time travel incident, those tend to end mere moments after they start, from the rest of the world's perspective. The problem will be with how long it takes Princess Twilight to rest up afterwards, how long it takes her to realize what happened, and how long it takes her to formulate some kind of repeatable alternative that won't just pull her in too. And whether or not any such fix will even work from just Equestria's side.
10333793
Well, she's also very small, it specifically says dog sized, which is a LOT smaller than a pony should be in the human world. Even miniature ponies (Earth ones) are still adolescent sized, not dog sized. So unless they think she's a baby, that's also a problem. Then there's the fact that the source of the bleeding is at the base of her horn. When I mentioned a couple of possible reactions to taking her to the vet, Sci-Twi being accused of animal cruelty for painting Sunset and gluing a horn to her head was one of them. If they think Sunset is a dog, that's bad enough, but if they think she's a baby pony, then that's worse for Twilight. Hopefully that is Fluttershy's shelter, and she's in that day.
10334013
10333084
10332348
On top of school being out, AJ has this line:
This can only end well...
10334474 Point.
10334474
So she did, I missed that line somehow.
Aaaarrggf you leave it there