Abacus Cinch opened her eyes but couldn’t be sure what she was seeing. She certainly was no longer in the lab at Crystal Prep, nor did she find herself in the word she had beheld through the portals created by Twilight Sparkle. That had been a world similar, if a bit outdated to her own filled with ponies. Most certainly not the world she found herself in now.
Here the sky, if it could even be called that, swirled around in a tumultuous haze of inky blackness. Looking around she spotted a variety of small islands somehow floating nearby. Some were adorned with oddly colored trees whose species she'd wager were not native to Earth.
Another island seemed to be exuding lava in a waterfall off its edge. She made the mistake of trying to see where the flow went and jumped back quickly causing her to fall heavily on her rear when she saw that the land she was on was floating in the void. Unable to find the strength in her legs after that shock to stand back up, she was forced to crawl away from the precipice.
“Wh-where am I? What is this place?” the confused principal called to the blackness. She was shocked and terrified even further when the abyss seemed to answer back. The air around Principal Cinch began to swirl in a thick black fog that blocked out the disturbing landscape but left the educator feeling trapped. Then a deep menacing laugh filled the air, seeming to echo all around the bewildered woman.
“Welcome, Abacus Cinch, you have been expected,” said the voice.
“Wh-Who’s there? How do you know who I am?” demanded Cinch some of her usual haughtiness finding its way to her voice.
“Oh, I have seen everything you have done during your time on Earth. So many things done to sow strife and disharmony and your actions have all led you to where you are now,” chastised the voice.
In the billowing smoke and flames around her, Cinch could now make out a monstrous, shadowy form. As it approached, she spotted a horned head and goatee.
“N-no, I can’t be dead,” stammered the principal as a cloven hoof emerged from the darkness in front of her. Cinch let out a terrified scream and scuttled back, forgetting for the moment the abyss above which she was floating. Luckily, her back thudded into something solid...and squishy? Concerned that it might be another monster, the educator turned quickly to find herself leaning against a squashy, blue sofa, something she definitely hadn’t seen earlier.
“Hmm, perhaps that may have been a tad too much” said the mysterious voice very clearly right behind her though now it was far less ominous as it sounded like it was speaking around a mouth full of food. Turning Cinch beheld the creature in its entirety.
It had a long snakelike body and a variety of mismatched body parts and was lounging on the couch casually tossing popcorn from the tub in his lap into his mouth. With a poof, the couch and the popcorn disappeared, leaving the creature standing, now sporting sunglasses and a baseball hat emblazoned with the word ‘Director’ on it. Reaching out a clawed hand, a stack of papers materialized and its pages flew open until it stopped on the one the being seemed to be looking for. A megaphone formed in his other hand...paw and he raised it to his mouth.
“Okay let’s run it again, from the top.”
Abacus Cinch promptly found herself once again encircled in the billowing darkness, but this time just sat there dumbfounded, unable to come to grips with what was happening. Eventually the creature’s head emerged, its neck seeming to stretch longer than it had any right to in order to reach her. It was followed by a paw that slithered after the head in order to cup the elongated mouth and whisper to the shell shocked woman, “Your line is, ‘What is this place?’...Any time.” Cinch only blinked in response.
When it became clear that the woman wouldn't or couldn’t play along, the being snapped his fingers with a resigned, “Fine,” and the smoke and pyrotechnics disappeared, “but I expect detailed answers when you fill out your exit survey.”
“Exit survey?” Cinch asked, “What are you talking about? Where am I? None of this makes any sense!”
“Make sense?!” the creature laughed uproariously as if it had been a punchline. “Of course it doesn’t make sense,” he chuckled, “Don’t you know who I am?” Then he paused a moment seeming to consider it and continued, “Hmm, come to think of it, maybe you don’t. Oh, this is such a treat, here my card,” he said handing over what appeared to be a playing card. Flipping it over revealed it to be a king sporting the creature's face. Cinch looked at it confusedly until it winked at her causing her to scream and through the card away. As it fluttered to the ground, it morphed into a cartoonish looking firework that whistled up into the swirling sky and burst spelling out ‘’Discord” in glittering letters with the creature himself posed beneath leaning atop a flashing neon sign reading “The Lord of Chaos.”
“You see, Abby...Can I call you Abby?” He didn’t give the woman the chance to answer and simply wrapped a lion paw around her shoulders in a half hug. “You see Abby, I saw what you did back in your world, causing the human version of Princess Sparkle-butt to go all power crazy and start ripping holes in the fabric of space- Props on that by the way. Never could manage that level of manipulation on the four legged model myself, but any-who...I also heard what you planned to do to Sunset Shimmer and all the ponies you could get your hands on.”
Discord’s red eyes narrowed, and a sense of dread filled Principal Cinch. “I can tell you, I was not pleased about that at all...BUT,” he continued with a noticeable shift in mood, the pressure around Cinch decreasing, “then I remembered that I too had once treated innocent ponies unkindly.” There was a flash of light and a handkerchief materialized and hovered next to him, which he took and blew into with the sound of a drowning trumpet. Tossing it away with a wet splat, he returned his attention to his guest. “And as my best friend Fluttershy always says,” there was a flash of light and Discord now appeared in a rather shoddy looking yellow pegasus costume complete with flowing light pink hair reminiscent of one of the CHS students Cinch had seen, “Everyone deserves a little kindness. So I decided to take you under my wing as it were.” There was another blinding poof and the costume was gone returning Discord to his original form sans one of the aforementioned wings. Cinch felt a tap on her shoulder, and reluctantly turned to find the missing appendage hovering over her like a large purple umbrella. The principal shrieked and backed away causing the wing to retreat to its owners back.
“Now I know this is normally a job for Fluttershy and the Princess of Books, but they’re busy taking care of Sun-butt Junior and the revenge driven unicorn of the week, so Princess Cake Flank said I could take care of you.” With a snap of his fingers, Discord and Cinch were now poised on a sheer rock face. Discord bedecked in rock climbing gear and expertly harnessed while Cinch was tangled in a web of ropes of various colors and types. “They’ll probably be busy with that for a few weeks, maybe a few months, so no real time to find you a way back to your world, but that means plenty of time for us to hangout.”
Abacus Cinch blanched before her anger replaced it. “I can’t stay here. I have to get back. Do you know who I am?!”
“Of course I do,” Discord smiled widely and snapped his fingers again. This time found herself inside the house of chaos. There was a swirling vortex on the floor, furniture on the ceiling, and a staircase that seemed to lead to nowhere. Looking down, Cinch found she and Discord were sporting matching t-shirts bearing the words ‘Reformation buddies’ and caricatures of her’s and Discord’s faces in interlocking hearts. “You’re my new roomie!”
Abacus Cinch screamed, but it only upset the chaise lounge which proceeded to scamper around the room barking loudly.