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Sequels1

T

Ten years is a long time, so Sunset Shimmer thinks. Ten years since she was last a pony. Ten years since she started her life anew as a citizen of Canterlot City. Ten years since making a group of wonderful friends. Ten years of absence from Equestria.

She's perfectly fine with that absence continuing for many years to come.

Twilight Sparkle doesn't appreciate Sunset's reluctance to talk about the past. She's been studying the strange activities surrounding Shimmer since they were teenagers, and has only found further questions. But a murder with ties to Equestria gives Twilight the chance to learn the truth about magic. To stop a terrible enemy from rising again, they must both journey through the mirror. Enlightenment is at Twilight's fingertips.

She doesn't quite know what to think when she meets Princess Twilight Sparkle.


Written before Friendship Games was released.


Rated Teen for

Existential Drama
and
Brief Violence


Chapters (14)
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Comments ( 330 )

Care held her hands up. “Whoa, sorry. Didn’t mean it like that. They’re nice ladies. Really. It’s just—” She extended her index fingers and put her hands above her head. She wiggled them like bunny ears. “People still joke about the weird horse thing they have going on.”

Said horse thing allowed them to make Sunset taste the Rainbow and summoned Rainbow Horse Jesus to depower the Dazzlings.

“Ye—yes and no.” Twilight Sparkle grimaced. “The question isn’t really ‘who wanted to kill Aria Blaze,’ it’s ‘who got to her first?’”

Sad thing is, she's not exactly wrong.

“Eh…” Rainbow leaned back and propped her feet on the dashboard. “Lightning Dust and I are cool. She’s still gunning for my job, but I think she realizes she doesn’t have to get me fired to do it.” She bit down hard on her lip to suppress a snicker. “I think part of why she backed down was because she found out about my black belt.”

Huh, Sunset's a teacher and Rainbow is a weather person.

“Whadda yah want?” Rainbow shrugged. “It’s not like I can tell the clouds what to do.”
“Of course not, that would be ridiculous.”

Classy.

Twilight winked. “I love how you always treat it like the fate of the world rests on me making friends.”

Considering your counterpart...

“You? Deniability?” Twilight groaned. “You have about as much plausible deniability as Tirek Odolwa.”
“Not for me, for you. And don’t compare me to a terrorist.” Sunset Shimmer turned in to a side road and slowed down. “I just mean that you can’t be accused of knowing anything besides what everybody else knows.”

Tirek is a terrorist here. I'm OK with that.

“It hails from the trenches alright.”

SHOTS FIRED!

Fluttershy fidgeted. “About a year.”

Ah. One more year with him. Spend it well.

She had been dropped off by Sunset an hour before, with a promise that she’d call later. She draped her overcoat along the edge of the bale, revealing a button-up shirt and a complete absence of mom jeans. A pistol was strapped to her chest, normally hidden beneath either a coat or a jacket.
“Carryin’ the forty-four today?” a voice said from behind her.
Twilight bent back and leaned on her palms. She watched Spike play with two puppies a few yards away. “I’d carry a cannon if I thought it’d fit in the holster.”

OK then...

“Applejack don’t fib.” McIntosh shook his head firmly. “That’s why she’ll never win the election for mayor.”

HAH!

“The witness’ name is Sonata Dusk,” Care said, “and she says she’ll only talk to Sunset Shimmer.”

Well then. Mr Holmes, Mr Watson, we have need of your services.

She felt bad about it, but she couldn’t quite restrain the grin that spread across her face. “Let’s see if Sunset’s in an ‘explaining’ mood tonight.”

We'll see.

5857941 "Rainbow Horse Jesus"-> makes me think of "Bird Jesus"-> makes me think of "Lord Helix" (Praise Helix)= three interconnected things.

3?

3...

GASP!!!

HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!!!

Interesting. The writing is good, the characters sound, and the premise promising. I can't wait to see where this goes.

I am quite thoroughly enjoying this story. A refreshing take on an equestria girls fic. Keep up the good work:scootangel:

Excellent first chapter, your stuff just keeps getting better!

Tirek Odolwa

So what you're saying is, human Tirek looks kind of like this guy

vignette4.wikia.nocookie.net/zelda/images/c/c7/Odolwa_Artwork.png/revision/latest?cb=20111018223751

I can dig it!

5857941

Said horse thing allowed them to make Sunset taste the Rainbow and summoned Rainbow Horse Jesus to depower the Dazzlings.

And let's not even get started on their ability to get someone, who wasn't even a student, elected Princess of the Fall Formal. There's the real magic.

Sad thing is, she's not exactly wrong.

Note that she did not factor in Aria's armies of fanboys who would no doubt rush to her defense.

Huh, Sunset's a teacher and Rainbow is a weather person.

Rarity is an editor for a fashion magazine, Twilight Sparkle is a forensic technician, Applejack is a farmer (I mean, duh), and Pinkie Pie is a baker/mother/homemaker/force of nature.

Classy.

Really? I thought it was pretty low-brow. :derpytongue2:

Tirek is a terrorist here. I'm OK with that.

Shining Armor and Flash Sentry ended up being part of the unit that took him down in the end.

Well then. Mr Holmes, Mr Watson, we have need of your services.

My first thought was that Twilight would be the Holmes to Sunset's Watson, when I realized that they'll actually shift roles a couple times. :raritywink:


5858773

"Rainbow Horse Jesus"-> makes me think of "Bird Jesus"-> makes me think of "Lord Helix" (Praise Helix)= three interconnected things.
3?
3...
GASP!!!
HALF LIFE 3 CONFIRMED!!!

Weeeellllll... You, um, you heard it here first, folks! Released right alongside Megaman Legends 3 and Kingdom Hearts 3.

Eh, one out of three ain't bad...


5859026

Interesting. The writing is good, the characters sound, and the premise promising. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Thank you very much. :twilightsmile: I think I've got something really cool in the works here. It's a yarn I can't wait to spin!


5859356

I am quite thoroughly enjoying this story. A refreshing take on an equestria girls fic. Keep up the good work:scootangel:

I intend to! I'm glad to hear you like it.

I'm glad to hear it's refreshing, too. A good deal of planning went into making the world and characters a little different from what people might expect. Not so much that they lose who they are, of course, but enough. :scootangel:


5859947

Excellent first chapter, your stuff just keeps getting better!

Thank you! I do think I've just about nailed introductions. Here's hoping I can pull of endings just as well. :rainbowdetermined2:

So what you're saying is, human Tirek looks kind of like this guy

Stick a beard on that thing and you're good to go. :trollestia: A Zelda reference a day keeps the moon at bay, don'tcha know.

Mirrors! Mirrors and a decade of friends she believes would rather be friends with the awesome version of Twilight Sparkle. The one that changed their lives, rather than the one they have to live with.

This is going to get much worse for human Twilight before it gets better, isn't it? She's going to meet amazing Twilight and feel like nothing in comparison...

5860816

And let's not even get started on their ability to get someone, who wasn't even a student, elected Princess of the Fall Formal. There's the real magic.

True.

Note that she did not factor in Aria's armies of fanboys who would no doubt rush to her defense.

What armies? The ones with armies are Sonata and Adagio.

Rarity is an editor for a fashion magazine, Twilight Sparkle is a forensic technician, Applejack is a farmer (I mean, duh), and Pinkie Pie is a baker/mother/homemaker/force of nature.

Pinkie is Best Whatever She Does.

Really? I thought it was pretty low-brow. :derpytongue2:

It's called sarcasm. #TFS Piccolo.

Shining Armor and Flash Sentry ended up being part of the unit that took him down in the end.

Nice.

My first thought was that Twilight would be the Holmes to Sunset's Watson, when I realized that they'll actually shift roles a couple times. :raritywink:

Sweet. I suspect though that all this case needs is 3 people. Holmes, Watson, and Batman.

I love the opening scene. There's no comedy here, but I get the feeling a... comedian was present. :raritywink:

Canterlot City

Ahhhhhh, no humanville? :fluttershbad:

Interesting choice to make Twilight a CSI instead of some physics professor, but I guess if you go around investigating strange phenomenon at a young age, you get used to doing your science to solve mysteries. I bet Velvet is glad someone took after her.

Celestia ran her fingers through her hair, tucking a stray gray sprig underneath. “You can say that again. I don’t think I’ve seen him in months. It isn’t healthy for me in my old age to be deprived the joys of youth.”

Sunset paused with her hand over a jar of pencils. She set a stray number two upright and shuffled them around. They talked about it often enough, why not extend the invitation? “Why don’t you and Luna stop by for supper tonight? You’ll get to spend a little time with Sunny, we can catch up on things outside of work, it’ll be fun. I’ll whip up some ziti.”

Oh man, I love this! Sunset Shimmer as a teacher so she can not only guard the portal, but also spend time with the far more approachable and relatable version of her mother-figure that she's finally connected with here. (Also probably to help kids, whatevs). I always figured Sunset would bond closely with Principal Celestia, and by extension her sister as well. I really hope Sunny calls her Granny Celestia. :pinkiehappy:

The lack of a double for Sunset makes sense to me as well. I always figured the reason Sunset doesn't have a double is because this world was her destiny all along. She's an element of harmony, she's a phoenix-corn (or not), and she works closely with Celestia and Luna. She's even raising the Sun-ny! I feel like this is the end-point of whatever vision Princess Celestia had many years ago.

The boy giggled and punched Rainbow Dash’s hand as hard as he could. The two of them mimicked explosions with their lips. She slumped back into her chair and buckled up. “I love the job, you know? The hours work for me, I get to mess with all sorts of doohickeys and gadgets, I get to appear on TV…” She covered her mouth to muffle her voice. “And now to our weather forecast with Rainbow Dash!

Makes sense. I would have guessed traffic actually, so she could fly in a helicopter, but this works well. Is this Rainbow loving her job, or is this just her day job while she pursues her dream of being a punk rocker?

“You? Deniability?” Twilight groaned. “You have about as much plausible deniability as Tirek Odolwa.”
“Not for me, for you. And don’t compare me to a terrorist.” Sunset Shimmer turned in to a side road and slowed down. “I just mean that you can’t be accused of knowing anything besides what everybody else knows.”

Nice! I'm guessing his father Vhorak is some sort of wealthy shiek.

She watched Spike carry the smaller of the two puppies, Wilbur, on his back. The bigger puppy, Walter, nipped at Spike’s longsuffering heels.

I hope Wilbur and Walter are half-beagle, half-border collie. Also, that the Apples give one to Twilight in a year.

“With the pizza,” Big Mac groaned. “Ah’m sure glad you could join with the Apple Family for a good old-fashioned homemade meal.”
“Applejack did mention homemade apple pie earlier.” Twilight put her hands in her pockets and nudged Big Mac in the ribs. “Or was that a fib?”

Sooooo.... Twimac? I can dig it.

Overall a great introduction to the EqG counterpart of the Heart's Promise-verse. I'm kind of interested in finding out who killed Aria, but I have to confess, I'm way more interested in who Sunny's father is. Did Sunset settle for that waffle-stealer (leaving her always hungry at breakfast), or is it an unknown. Did the Cakes introduce Pinkie to her future husband? Most importantly of all: Will we get to see that awesome scene with Celestia, Luna, Sunset, and the Ziti? :pinkiehappy: I shall certainly tune in next time!

:rainbowderp: wow this fic began with the murder of aria, what a way to begin a story

I love the interactions between the girls and I wonder who sunset got together with in order to have sunny

Funniest part was definitely the mom jeans argument

All in all this was an entertaining story to read I can't wait for the next part

Teacher Sunset, neat. Count me really curious about Sunny and who his father might be.

This take on the human girls ten years on is fun.

“Hi, Miss Wardy!” the boy said.
Rarity squinted one eye, but her bright smile only grew. “It’s Rarity. With an ‘R’. Can you make the ‘R’ sound? Rrrr-Rarity.”
“Rrr…” Sunny wrinkled his nose as he growled. “Rrrr-Wardy.”

Hahaha.

“I am not squeaky,” Rainbow huffed. “Though I am very clean.”

For some reason this comment jumps out at me as being hilarious, and I'm not sure why.

Interesting to see SciTwi's issues, it really would be a wierd experience to be friends with a group of people that were friends with another version of you first.

Mom jeans, hah!

Twilight Sparkle stood up. She hugged Spike close. “How long is that?”
Fluttershy fidgeted. “About a year.”

:raritydespair:

This friendship (relationship?) between Mac and SciTwi is interesting too.

5860978

Mirrors! Mirrors and a decade of friends she believes would rather be friends with the awesome version of Twilight Sparkle. The one that changed their lives, rather than the one they have to live with.
This is going to get much worse for human Twilight before it gets better, isn't it? She's going to meet amazing Twilight and feel like nothing in comparison...

"The one who changed their lives." I like that!

Yes, I'm afraid I will be unable to showcase my human Twilight without getting a little moody. She's got some issues to work through. But I think she can work through them, given the opportunity. She's a strong lady.


5861044

What armies? The ones with armies are Sonata and Adagio.

Do not discount the power of the SonAria ship.

Sweet. I suspect though that all this case needs is 3 people. Holmes, Watson, and Batman.

I enjoyed that episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. :raritywink:


5863768

I love the opening scene. There's no comedy here, but I get the feeling a... comedian was present. :raritywink:

I smell a reference, but I can't deduce the flavor.

Ahhhhhh, no humanville? :fluttershbad:

It came down to one thing: Canterlot City Police Department rolls off the tongue when you abbreviate it. CCPD, dawg.

Interesting choice to make Twilight a CSI instead of some physics professor, but I guess if you go around investigating strange phenomenon at a young age, you get used to doing your science to solve mysteries. I bet Velvet is glad someone took after her.

I thought it was fun, new, and made sense. The plot would also be majorly different if she wasn't in the CCPD. Velvet's position in DayBreak was a neat springboard, and a fun connection.

Plus, it gave me the spectacular opening sentence featuring Twilight and the chalk outline. :twilightsheepish:

Oh man, I love this! Sunset Shimmer as a teacher so she can not only guard the portal, but also spend time with the far more approachable and relatable version of her mother-figure that she's finally connected with here. (Also probably to help kids, whatevs). I always figured Sunset would bond closely with Principal Celestia, and by extension her sister as well. I really hope Sunny calls her Granny Celestia. :pinkiehappy:

It was a supremely heartwarming moment when they finally clicked. I would assume, anyhow.

I always felt that Sunset would like kids on some level. She strikes me as a person with a lot of empathy, now that she's over the whole "megalomania" thing. Rest assured, she's not just looking out for interdimensional well-being. :ajsmug:

No, he doesn't call her Granny Celestia. The poor woman has her pride, after all.

The lack of a double for Sunset makes sense to me as well. I always figured the reason Sunset doesn't have a double is because this world was her destiny all along. She's an element of harmony, she's a phoenix-corn (or not), and she works closely with Celestia and Luna. She's even raising the Sun-ny! I feel like this is the end-point of whatever vision Princess Celestia had many years ago.

Sunset, I feel, has "arrived" as a character. She could remain in her current circumstance for the rest of her life and be perfectly content. This does not a story make, however. :trixieshiftright:

Makes sense. I would have guessed traffic actually, so she could fly in a helicopter, but this works well. Is this Rainbow loving her job, or is this just her day job while she pursues her dream of being a punk rocker?

What few gigs their packed schedules allow hardly merit being called a career. She's more interested in maybe someday trying out in the Olympics. She's not sure which event she wants to do, but she's sure she'll think of something.

It's just that she likes a steady income, and being on TV is kinda awesome in every conceivable way. :rainbowkiss:

I hope Wilbur and Walter are half-beagle, half-border collie. Also, that the Apples give one to Twilight in a year.

Spike and Winona did not get together for the same reason Sombra and Hurricane did not get together. If you think too hard about it, things run off into Squicky territory really dang quickly. Would Dragon!Spike be able to even look at a dog if he found out? Would Rumble ever stop teasing him? Would Apple Bloom ever stop laughing?

Besides, the Apples breed border collies. Beagle blood would dilute the strain.

Sooooo.... Twimac? I can dig it.

It's part of my holy mission to eventually ship Big Mac with every (unattached) mare ever. So far my card's been filled out with Fluttershy, Luna, Cheerilee, Rainbow Dash, and now Twilie.

Notice that there's only a slight continuity overlap. :unsuresweetie:

Overall a great introduction to the EqG counterpart of the Heart's Promise-verse. I'm kind of interested in finding out who killed Aria, but I have to confess, I'm way more interested in who Sunny's father is. Did Sunset settle for that waffle-stealer (leaving her always hungry at breakfast), or is it an unknown.

:twistnerd: It's a twist.

Did the Cakes introduce Pinkie to her future husband?

You might say the two of them sensed a connection.

Most importantly of all: Will we get to see that awesome scene with Celestia, Luna, Sunset, and the Ziti? :pinkiehappy: I shall certainly tune in next time!

Of course! I'm not gonna pass up the opportunity for cuteness and character building! At least until the plot barges in on the festivities.


5865073

:rainbowderp: wow this fic began with the murder of aria, what a way to begin a story

Pros say to try and start your story with an explosion. It can be literal, but I prefer the more metaphorical route. :pinkiehappy:

I love the interactions between the girls and I wonder who sunset got together with in order to have sunny

Only Sunset knows for sure!

Well, and all her friends. And her family. And the doctors. And nurses. And the father's family and friends and several acquaintances.

Oh, and me. I know. :twistnerd:

Funniest part was definitely the mom jeans argument

I enjoyed writing that far more than I should have. I couldn't help myself! :rainbowwild:

All in all this was an entertaining story to read I can't wait for the next part

Me either. I'm making sure it's the best darn chapter I can write, so you shouldn't have to worry too much!


5865096

Teacher Sunset, neat. Count me really curious about Sunny and who his father might be.

You and everybody else! :twistnerd:

This take on the human girls ten years on is fun.

Some of the most fun I have in stories is just watching characters bounce off each other. Rainbow and Rarity make for a good duo, as do Twilight and Sunset.

It's mind boggling to think of what the future looks like for these guys.

Hahaha.

Two is a precious, yet unintelligible, age.

For some reason this comment jumps out at me as being hilarious, and I'm not sure why.

Fifty percent lame comeback, fifty percent nonsequitur, one-hundred percent Rainbow Dash awesome?

Interesting to see SciTwi's issues, it really would be a wierd experience to be friends with a group of people that were friends with another version of you first.

It's something I've seen other EQG stories handle, but not quite the way I'm going to. I thought the idea had potential.

I love SciTwi as a nickname! :raritystarry:

This friendship (relationship?) between Mac and SciTwi is interesting too.

It gets better. It has to remain a little nebulous so that I don't give it more focus than the story needs. I hope I get to explore it a little more, but I might have to put it off for a one-shot or something.

5876482
I was fairly proud of my line. Especially with the second part of it.

5876482

I smell a reference, but I can't deduce the flavor.

Sorry, I thought the whole murder-via-defenestration was a delightful homage to The Watchmen: virginmedia.com/images/2Feb_vertigo-watchmen-590x350.jpg

I thought it was fun, new, and made sense. The plot would also be majorly different if she wasn't in the CCPD. Velvet's position in DayBreak was a neat springboard, and a fun connection.

Velvet and Velma do sound so similar, don't they? I would not be surprised if Twilight's catchphrase is "Jinkies!" and she gives her dog a Spike-snack when he finds clues.

Plus, it gave me the spectacular opening sentence featuring Twilight and the chalk outline. :twilightsheepish:

Yeah, sets the tone, and shows this is definitely part of the Daybreak continuity.

It was a supremely heartwarming moment when they finally clicked. I would assume, anyhow.

I would assume as well. I always figured the reason Sunset spent all her time winning those popularity contests when they didn't help her with any of her plans was because it was the only way she thought she could impress a Celestia.

I always felt that Sunset would like kids on some level. She strikes me as a person with a lot of empathy, now that she's over the whole "megalomania" thing. Rest assured, she's not just looking out for interdimensional well-being. :ajsmug:

You have a point there, if she was able to forgive the CMC after their sociopathic actions towards her, she's gotta have a soft spot for the little ones. I bet alicorn Celestia was kicking herself for not thinking of the "give a baby dragon to raise to help boost empathy" trick in time for Sunset.

No, he doesn't call her Granny Celestia. The poor woman has her pride, after all.

Auntie Celly and Auntie Lulu dote on their nephew, I'm sure. I'm guessing Celly is the godmother, and Lulu is the one who really spoils him.

What few gigs their packed schedules allow hardly merit being called a career.

I can guess the name of her new band: upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/3/34/Weather_Girls_Raining_Men.jpg

It's just that she likes a steady income, and being on TV is kinda awesome in every conceivable way. :rainbowkiss:

I hope we get to hear a forecast at some point!

If you think too hard about it, things run off into Squicky territory really dang quickly.

I live in Squicky territory! Remember who pointed out Flash's strategy for picking up Mustangian Trixie? This guy! But yeah, I suppose for a farm you need generations of working farm dogs with the right behavior bred in, and that means pure-bred border collies.

Would Dragon!Spike be able to even look at a dog if he found out? Would Rumble ever stop teasing him? Would Apple Bloom ever stop laughing?

Would one of the pups inexplicably be named Garble? :moustache:

It's part of my holy mission to eventually ship Big Mac with every (unattached) mare ever.

You and 80% of this site!

So far my card's been filled out with Fluttershy, Luna, Cheerilee, Rainbow Dash, and now Twilie.
Notice that there's only a slight continuity overlap. :unsuresweetie:

It's fine, Luna gets the dreams and RD gets the waking world, a fair split.

:twistnerd: It's a twist.

Hail mighty Twisticorn, lead us not into confusion, but deliver us from Peachy Pie! But seriously, it will be an interesting reveal. I'm guessing a student at CHS, because otherwise Sunset would have to figure out exactly when to tell some guy the fact that she an alien unicorn/former Joseph Pony/chosen phoenix-corn, sometime after the first date but before Sunny was born and there was a chance he might come out with hooves.

You might say the two of them sensed a connection.

Considering Pinkie is full of Rainbow Power, I'm going to predict her husband is Kermit the Frog.

Of course! I'm not gonna pass up the opportunity for cuteness and character building!

You certainly have my number.

At least until the plot barges in on the festivities.

Dun dun dun!

5876482

Do not discount the power of the SonAria ship.

Riiight.

I enjoyed that episode of Batman: The Brave and the Bold. :raritywink:

As did I, except for Watson being portrayed as his usual bumbling self, if you've read the original novels, you'll remember he's far from it, and by Reichenbach Falls, it's less that he's not good, Sherlock is just a lot better.

The plot thickens has been doubled! :pinkiegasp:

Plot! YOU DAMN FAT!
...
...
...
Sorry, was too easy :rainbowlaugh:

Anyhow, I quite love this! I am certainly going to keep on reading this!

Nice chapter. Loving the storyline! Keep up the good work! :scootangel:

Celestia tapped her cheek. “Is that before or after putting the fear of God in them?”

Yes.

Luna leaned on her elbow, a smirk crawling across her face. “Well, as vice principal in charge of discipline, I do have certain advantages to call upon in my hour of substituting.”
“A death glare that could stop a bull elephant,” Sunset snickered.

Heh.

That comes with age.” Luna pointed across the table. “Just look at my sister, for example.”
Celestia’s eyes widened before shrinking down to slits. “Luna.”
“A prime example of what I’m talking about. I’m the boogeyman lurking in the shadows, yes, but she is the person with her finger on the light switch.” Luna squinted one eye and cradled her chin with a hand. “She has just the right demeanor for a school principal, one of a crotchety old maid slapping her ruler against her palm.”
“Luna,” Celestia said.

You're treading on thin ice, Luna.

“But that’s just the result of a lifetime of preparations. If it’s not her arthritis, it’s her graying hair.”
“Luna.”
“If it’s not her graying hair, it’s her students.”
“Luna—”
“And if it’s not her students,” Luna finished with a smirk, “it’s her sister.”
Celestia sat back, closed her eyes, and clasped her fingers. “It seems somebody is waking up with honey and birdseed in their hair tomorrow morning. Won’t Philomena be pleased?”

Indeed. Though what bird would Philomena be here?

“You didn’t even let me finish my ultimatum,” Sunset muttered, lowering her hands to her sides.

Twilight's a b*tch like that.

Sunset stepped in one of Twilight’s puddles, accidently soaking her sock. She rubbed the foot against her opposite leg. “The Dazzlings weren’t a joke. They were really dangerous people, Twilight.”

Yeah, if Sunset hadn't helped out, they might have WON. Also, accidententALly.

Sonata’s voice wavered. “Wh—why Adagio killed Aria.”

Oh my.

“Adagio. She’s in Equestria by now. You have to stop her.” Sonata’s mouth twitched back and forth between a frown and a scowl. She shut her eyes tight to hold her voice in check. “Sirens don’t hurt their own. Never ever never.”

And yet.

Twilight’s face paled. Her small smile melted like an ice cube in the oven. Her mouth opened wide enough to swallow an entire hamburger. “You what?”

Surprise.

“Yeah, yeah, funny.” Sunset Shimmer closed the book, wrapping her fingers around the edge of the spine. “The problem is that somebody went and stole the mirror.”

I'm sorry, what?

Pony Twlight still has the book but the mirror has been stolen... does that mean the Canterlot High statue portal won't work? Unless we are just in time.... wait if 30 moons it's 30 months then it's 2 1/2 years. Since this fic is set abut 10 years after Equestria Girls there's a chance of the portal working normally. Otherwise they'll have to search for the portal who used Adagio and Aria.

Adagio is the culprit huh well it's also a good chance that she is the one that stole the mirror,
More mom jeans jokes and some fun about celestias age( hilarious by the way)
And Im pretty sure flash sentry married sunset based on the spaghetti shield thing,
any way that should be everything keep up the good work

Love that entire Ziti scene.

“A prime example of what I’m talking about. I’m the boogeyman lurking in the shadows, yes, but she is the person with her finger on the light switch.”

One of the best descriptions of Celestia and Luna I have ever heard!

“And if it’s not her students,” Luna finished with a smirk, “it’s her sister.”
Celestia sat back, closed her eyes, and clasped her fingers. “It seems somebody is waking up with honey and birdseed in their hair tomorrow morning. Won’t Philomena be pleased?”

Ok, two things: One, this scene was exactly as adorable as you think it is. Two, I am sure Philomena is a crotchety parrot who says "who's a pretty girl" to Celestia and swears like a sailor at Luna.

Sunny pointed at the purple dinosaur on his bib. “Sp’geddy shield.”

I can't wait for Sunny to meet Spike some day. He's going to seem so... familiar.

Celestia lowered herself slowly into a seat. “Oh? Is that what mommy calls it?”
“It was daddy’s idea, actually.”

Waffle-stealer! That's how he and Shining got Tirek, isn't it? Flash lured him out of hiding by mackin' on Tirek's wives, and then Shining Armor got the drop on him when Tirek came out to defend his waifus.

Sunset held her son close. “You be good and do what Auntie Celestia and Auntie Luna tell you.”
He looked at her with a level brow, his eyes searching her face. He took her cheeks in his chubby hands and planted a kiss on her nose.
Sunset touched her forehead to his. “I love you, too, Sunny.”

:raritycry: And now I have diabeetus, I hope you're happy.

Twilight gave her a sparing glance. “Really, Sunset? Mom jeans?”
Sunset snorted. “Just drop it.”
“I’ve seen lounge pants more flattering.”
“Drop it!”

Twilight has been reading way too many issues of Rarity's magazine lately. (Are the two R girls living together or just living together?)

“Thanks, Mayor Mare,” Sunset muttered back. That got a chuckle out of both of them.

This is a crime drama, right? Every crime drama needs a corrupt, spineless opportunist politician at the top. I just know at some point Twilight Velvet is going to demand Care Carrot's badge and gun, because Mayor Mare is on Velvet's @ss about property damage or something. I sure hope they get a chance to crash one of Merry's sleazy fundraising dinners that a drug-dealer is using for cover.

Sonata bit down on the inside of her cheek. Her already reddened eyes took on a darker tinge. She sniffed loud and hard. “Aria discovered another portal to Equestria.”

Oh shit!

Sonata shut her eyes against hot tears. “She… she found a new route and never told us! We could have gone back any freaking time and she never told us!”

At this point I don't even really blame Adagio, Aria with a rusty spoon for cutting her sisters out like that. :twilightangry2:

“Aria didn’t wanna tell her. I don’t know why, but she didn’t. Adagio hurt her so bad and I couldn’t stop it.” Sonata clenched her fists until they shook. “Aria couldn’t help it. She had to tell Adagio where the other portal was. But then—”
She ran her fingers through her hair, her entire body shaking. “Adagio, why? Why did you push her like that? You got what you wanted! Why?”

Hmm, maybe I was a little quick to forgive. :pinkiesick:

“Grand theft, destruction of school property, attempted mind control of the student body…” Sunset twisted away. “Destroying several friendships…”

That's... kind of a light list there, Sunset. I understand why she's leaving the worst off, though, attempted murder has no statute of limitations, and forcible conscription of children into an armed conflict is a war crime with universal jurisdiction. I can guess why she doesn't want to confess those parts to a cop, no matter how good friends they are.

“You’re gonna need it, I think.” Sunset patted her book. “Because I’m not going to track down Adagio Dazzle all on my own.”

That's stretching the definition of hot pursuit a bit, but I suppose it works if Sunset has been authorized by the Princess. They can't just stick a black bag over Adagio's head and drag her back through the portal without handing her over to Equestrian authorities for extradition, though.

“Yeah, yeah, funny.” Sunset Shimmer closed the book, wrapping her fingers around the edge of the spine. “The problem is that somebody went and stole the mirror.”

I'm not even surprised at this point, magic mirrors are the source of everyone's problems in this setting. Here's my theory why this mirror was stolen, though: So Dark Lord Peachy Pie exists Zod-style in the space between, constantly watching through magic mirrors, right? What if he can't turn that ability off? What if he's had to spend who knows how many years being subjected to teenagers making out against the CHS statue while he tries to drown out teenage flirting? Of course he'd recruit some minions in this world and have them move the mirror!

I meant to say this last chapter, but I see you're giving us the story's obligatory cute baby right out of the gate, huh? I'm coo wit dat! :pinkiehappy: Interesting chapter. The plot is moving along nicely, and I think I know who has the mirror... :trixieshiftright: I hope we meet or at least learn about who the lucky guy is married to Sunset.

Gee. Must have left my phone in my other mom jeans.

Not sure why, but this line cracked me up!

5878610

The plot thickens has been doubled! :pinkiegasp:

5878614

Plot! YOU DAMN FAT!
...
...
...
Sorry, was too easy :rainbowlaugh:

Bravo! Bravo! Encore!


5878678

Nice chapter. Loving the storyline! Keep up the good work! :scootangel:

Thank you very much. Never fear, more is on the way!


5879093

Indeed. Though what bird would Philomena be here?

Some sort of parrot, most likely. That way there's a chance for some nice, colorful plumage.

Twilight's a b*tch like that.

Tsk! She's not at her best in this story, but there's no reason to call names! :twilightoops:


5879520

Well, crap.

For realsies.


5879555

Pony Twlight still has the book but the mirror has been stolen... does that mean the Canterlot High statue portal won't work? Unless we are just in time.... wait if 30 moons it's 30 months then it's 2 1/2 years. Since this fic is set abut 10 years after Equestria Girls there's a chance of the portal working normally. Otherwise they'll have to search for the portal who used Adagio and Aria.

At 2 1/2 years per activation... open after 2.5 years, five years, 7.5 years, and... 10 years!

Looks like the math works out, but math is really just theory. Are they on the right three days?


5880820

Adagio is the culprit huh well it's also a good chance that she is the one that stole the mirror,

It's more likely than not, I'll admit that. :trollestia:

More mom jeans jokes and some fun about celestias age( hilarious by the way)

I always like to add some fun to my stories. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :pinkiehappy:

And Im pretty sure flash sentry married sunset based on the spaghetti shield thing,

He's a very eligible person, but he also tends to be a kiss of death to stories around here.

any way that should be everything keep up the good work

Thanks! We're trekking full speed ahead!


5881117

Love that entire Ziti scene.

Ziti is awesome. Character interaction over ziti? Priceless.

Ok, two things: One, this scene was exactly as adorable as you think it is. Two, I am sure Philomena is a crotchety parrot who says "who's a pretty girl" to Celestia and swears like a sailor at Luna.

Correct on both accounts! Best part is that Luna can never get Philomena to swear in front of Celestia, and thus cannot prove the bird's crimes against living peacefully together.

Celestia remains ostensibly innocent.

I can't wait for Sunny to meet Spike some day. He's going to seem so... familiar.

Spikey is a dragon born from our imagination, and when he's tall he's what we call a draconic sensation?

Spikey can be your friend, too, if you just make-believe him!

Waffle-stealer! That's how he and Shining got Tirek, isn't it? Flash lured him out of hiding by mackin' on Tirek's wives, and then Shining Armor got the drop on him when Tirek came out to defend his waifus.

Like I told Daxen123, Flash Sentry brings the kiss of death (via downvotes) to any fiction he shows up in. Don't expect to see too much of him barring a mention here and there.

:twistnerd:

:raritycry: And now I have diabeetus, I hope you're happy.

Yes! Yes! The sugar flows through you, consumes you, such is its nature!

Besides, this story's at least fifty percent insulin by volume. I needed to balance it out with something lovely.

(Are the two R girls living together or just living together?)

They're living together in a completely platonic sense. I have a difficult time seeing Rarity as anything other than immensely, unwaveringly straight. She's shown interest in Blueblood, Trenderhoof, Shining Armor (before he was married, of course), Good Sombra, and maybe just a hint of Fancy Pants. She's downright obsessed with fairy tale romance, from what I've seen.

This is a crime drama, right?

Partially. It's also a soothing slice of life adventure of epic proportions. With a hefty dose of what might be coming of age if the characters weren't already adults. Maybe a hint of horror and sugary sweetness here and there. The Chronicles of Narnia meets The Fugitive meets My Little Pony. This may be the vaguest story genre-wise that i've ever written, and I once wrote an angsty action-comedy political sci fi thriller superhero comic. :rainbowlaugh:

It'd make for a good anime series.

Every crime drama needs a corrupt, spineless opportunist politician at the top. I just know at some point Twilight Velvet is going to demand Care Carrot's badge and gun, because Mayor Mare is on Velvet's @ss about property damage or something. I sure hope they get a chance to crash one of Merry's sleazy fundraising dinners that a drug-dealer is using for cover.

As much fun as that would be, we won't be seeing much of either Merry Mare in the story. The plot's gonna be loopy as it is without tying too much into the saga's overarching... arc. :raritydespair:

At this point I don't even really blame Adagio, Aria with a rusty spoon for cutting her sisters out like that.:twilightangry2:
Hmm, maybe I was a little quick to forgive. :pinkiesick:

Hehehehahahahahahaha. Excellent. Anger. Hatred. The way to the dark side are these.

That's... kind of a light list there, Sunset. I understand why she's leaving the worst off, though, attempted murder has no statute of limitations, and forcible conscription of children into an armed conflict is a war crime with universal jurisdiction. I can guess why she doesn't want to confess those parts to a cop, no matter how good friends they are.

That's one way to demonize Sunset... :derpytongue2:

As true as that is, I'm personally willing to give her a bit of a pass due to the way she completely turned her life around and is now a firm force for good. It's what you do that defines you, so says Batman, and he knows his stuff.

That's stretching the definition of hot pursuit a bit, but I suppose it works if Sunset has been authorized by the Princess. They can't just stick a black bag over Adagio's head and drag her back through the portal without handing her over to Equestrian authorities for extradition, though.

There's hot pursuit, and then there's ancient evils crossing the border of reality. They're doing this completely by the book. Or they would, if there was a book to do this stuff by.

I'm not even surprised at this point, magic mirrors are the source of everyone's problems in this setting.

On that note, it feels like much of My Little Pony's adventures consist of cleaning up Starswirl's trash.

Of course he'd recruit some minions in this world and have them move the mirror!

Sunset said the mirror was stolen, not the statue. :twilightsheepish: It's a crime on the Equestrian side.

Sorry, I thought the whole murder-via-defenestration was a delightful homage to The Watchmen:

Haven't actually seen anything to do with the Watchmen, I'm afraid. Hard to reference something you have no reference to. :applejackunsure:

Besides, that joker is hardly the first person to find himself thrown out a window. :trollestia:

Velvet and Velma do sound so similar, don't they? I would not be surprised if Twilight's catchphrase is "Jinkies!" and she gives her dog a Spike-snack when he finds clues.

Ha! The difference here is that Spike is the only one of the group who is at all effectual. :moustache:

I would assume as well. I always figured the reason Sunset spent all her time winning those popularity contests when they didn't help her with any of her plans was because it was the only way she thought she could impress a Celestia.

Ah. The "I have plans" line at the end of that comic I have yet to read? I get the feeling that whatever grandiose plans she had after leaving Equestria had no way to pan out, due the the way the different worlds work. She couldn't use magic like she used to (until friendship) she was in a potentially hostile environment, she didn't know anybody or how to climb the social ladder... I think she realized pretty quick that she had to make up stuff as she went along. Might as well bring as many under her thumb as possible. She'd make a name for herself in this world and play with a few puppets.

Then she found out the mirror had linked again. Then she discovered the Elements of Harmony had returned. Then she saw that the Bearer of Magic herself was staying at the palace.

That was when she had to think fast and do a lot in a short time-frame.

You have a point there, if she was able to forgive the CMC after their sociopathic actions towards her, she's gotta have a soft spot for the little ones. I bet alicorn Celestia was kicking herself for not thinking of the "give a baby dragon to raise to help boost empathy" trick in time for Sunset.

I actually have a sneaking suspicion that she knows Garble.

I can guess the name of her new band:

Ha HA! Sadly, I think Rainbow Dash might turn her nose up at that.

I hope we get to hear a forecast at some point!

Well, you know... I'll give it a 'maybe'.

I live in Squicky territory! Remember who pointed out Flash's strategy for picking up Mustangian Trixie?

I've looked through the comments of a few stories, but I'm not exactly sure where we talked about that. Guess you'll have to squick me out again.

Considering Pinkie is full of Rainbow Power, I'm going to predict her husband is Kermit the Frog.

Yes. Yes, you are one-hundred percent correct.


5885344

I meant to say this last chapter, but I see you're giving us the story's obligatory cute baby right out of the gate, huh? I'm coo wit dat! :pinkiehappy:

Sunny gets the distinction of being the most plot-relevant cute baby, at that! I had to introduce him early, but I doubt anybody's complaining!

Interesting chapter. The plot is moving along nicely, and I think I know who has the mirror... :trixieshiftright:

You're probably right, but this story's still one of the twistier ones. You don't have the whole story yet!

I hope we meet or at least learn about who the lucky guy is married to Sunset.

Of course you will! Problem is I'm enjoying the constant teases too much to reveal him just yet.

5886962

Tsk! She's not at her best in this story, but there's no reason to call names! :twilightoops:

I'm kidding. It's a joke.

5886962

Celestia remains ostensibly innocent.

Sooner or later Luna's going to figure out just who taught Philomena those swear words. :trollestia:

Spikey can be your friend, too, if you just make-believe him!

Can't wait for the next romantic interlude with SpikeBloom. "Apple Bloom, I love you. And you love me. And we're a perfect family." :moustache:

Don't expect to see too much of him barring a mention here and there.

Fair enough, but even if he's not Sunny Sr, I remain firm in my belief that Tirek Odolwa's last words were "Maaaiiiiii Waiiiifuuu!"

They're living together in a completely platonic sense. I have a difficult time seeing Rarity as anything other than immensely, unwaveringly straight.

I agree with your interpretation of where Rarity's interests lie, it's just I also have a hard time picturing her as a roommate with Rainbow Dash as well. I guess this Rainbow Dash realized that now that her job actually involves wearing lots of makeup and beautiful clothes, keeping her half of the apartment clean is worth the cost of either free or deeply discounted fashion assistance. And Rarity does get her designs on television consistently.

The Chronicles of Narnia meets The Fugitive meets My Little Pony.

I just realized: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, that whole airship scene in Daybreak reminding me of Air Force One... How many more Harrison Ford movies will you work in? (Please say all). :rainbowkiss:

I once wrote an angsty action-comedy political sci fi thriller superhero comic. :rainbowlaugh:
It'd make for a good anime series.

Is there some kind of link to deviant art for people who want to read it or something?

Hehehehahahahahahaha. Excellent. Anger. Hatred. The way to the dark side are these.

The non-existence of working light-sabers is the only thing separating internet trolls and Sith Lords, isn't it?

That's one way to demonize Sunset... :derpytongue2:

First off, she literally demonized herself. Don't get me wrong, I love ol' Shimsham, but there's no denying what she did, any more than everyone's favorite loud, awkward princess almost eradicated 99% of life on Equestria twice.

As true as that is, I'm personally willing to give her a bit of a pass due to the way she completely turned her life around and is now a firm force for good.

The magnitude of their past sins is what makes their redemption all the greater story, and them all the more ultimately sympathetic characters. If a good reformed character was one who was only a minor jerk in the first place, we'd be hip deep in stories about the redemption of Jet Set and Upper Crust. Honestly, the theme of redemption is my single favorite aspect of FiM. It's why I loved everything they did with Discord, it's why I even hope they find a way to bring Starlight around. The earth justice system, however, is much less hug-it-out based than the Equestrian one, and since human Twilight is a cop, she's probably going to have a lot of pointed questions at the end of this for our favorite bacon-head.

It's what you do that defines you, so says Batman, and he knows his stuff.

Well now you're just not playing fair, citing Batman. :rainbowwild:

There's hot pursuit, and then there's ancient evils crossing the border of reality. They're doing this completely by the book. Or they would, if there was a book to do this stuff by.

Oh, there is a book. It's just probably written on human skin, with angry red glowing eyes on the cover.

On that note, it feels like much of My Little Pony's adventures consist of cleaning up Starswirl's trash.

Thank You! That entire aspect of Rainbow Rocks bothered me. Starswirl banished those Sirens to a world where he didn't warn anyone about them, and he certainly didn't ask permission from any governments. Also, indefinite exile sits poorly with me, not exactly a just punishment. And between that movie and Reflections, it does seem like Starswirl made a lot of arbitrary decisions without worrying about the consequences. I wonder if that was because he figured the only person he knew who would be around when the chickens came home to roost was Celestia, and he was pretty pissed at her towards the end?

Haven't actually seen anything to do with the Watchmen, I'm afraid. Hard to reference something you have no reference to. :applejackunsure:
Besides, that joker is hardly the first person to find himself thrown out a window. :trollestia:

Ok, time to make a confession: I'm living with TVTropes Disorder, where I see and revel in references everywhere. Tropes disorder is the literary theme equivalent of being a conspiracy nut, seeing them everywhere. There is no cure for Tropes Disorder short of excising fiction in all forms from your life, but reading soothing slice-of-life adventure comedy romance sci fi superhero political thrillers that reference, and wittily avert, subvert or even play straight those tropes helps me live with my condition on a day-to-day basis.

I think she realized pretty quick that she had to make up stuff as she went along. Might as well bring as many under her thumb as possible. She'd make a name for herself in this world and play with a few puppets.
Then she found out the mirror had linked again. Then she discovered the Elements of Harmony had returned. Then she saw that the Bearer of Magic herself was staying at the palace.
That was when she had to think fast and do a lot in a short time-frame.

That does make a lot of sense. I do wonder about one thing though: Notice how in those framed portraits of her winning, it seems like she gets progressively worse each year? In the first picture she actually looks genuinely happy, in the 2nd one she is smirking, and in the 3rd one she is full on "Kneel Before Zod." I think in the beginning of her time on earth, she wasn't that bad, especially when since it's probably the first time she had ever felt vulnerable. She must have done something to make Flash want to date her/teach her guitar, but by the time the movie starts its clear everyone hates her.

And you're definitely right about her plan to lead a few hundred teenagers into battle against a group of alicorns and the royal guard as something she came up with on the fly. I'm not sure if she was actually planning to kidnap the school before she overloaded herself with a magical ball of energy bigger than her head, any more than I think Trixie planned to hang around Ponyville and take it over before she put on that amulet.

I actually have a sneaking suspicion that she knows Garble.

The color scheme fits, though I also like the possibility that she hatched Philomena.

Well, you know... I'll give it a 'maybe'.

:pinkiehappy:

I've looked through the comments of a few stories, but I'm not exactly sure where we talked about that. Guess you'll have to squick me out again.

As I recall, you were explaining how Trixie used to date Flash, and I was theorizing that she settled for Flash Sentry because Shining Armor was unavailable. Then I added in, appropos of nothing, that this is how Flash attracts all the girls who like him. It's Not Creepy indeed.

Yes. Yes, you are one-hundred percent correct.

Pinkie had to fight a pig for him, didn't she? :pinkiesmile:

5886962

At 2 1/2 years per activation... open after 2.5 years, five years, 7.5 years, and... 10 years!

Looks like the math works out, but math is really just theory. Are they on the right three days?

I hope not, it'd seem too contrived.

Thinking further I'm wondering on Sonata's line “Sirens don’t hurt their own. Never ever never.” I can't help but think there's some meaning on this, because as far as I know it has already been proven false in the fic.

I have nothing to add other than the fact that this is amazing.

That is all.

Hmn, so Sunset has a ring that is being explicitly pointed out, which I'm assuming is a wedding ring, but no husband in sight. My going to go out on a limb and guess that she married human Flash, and that like pony Flash he's in the military and is currently deployed somewhere.

You know, as much as SciTwi keeps going on about Sunset's 'mom jeans', her own wardrobe better be stylin'.

Hahaha, so the roads on the human side of the mirror are also in need of maintenance?

Sonata shut her eyes against hot tears. “She… she found a new route and never told us! We could have gone back any freaking time and she never told us!”

Oh wow, and it went on for years. No wonder Adagio snapped and killed her. And from the sound of things, why Sonata just stood there and watched it happen.

“Oh.” Twilight Sparkle leaned against a doorframe and crossed her arms over her chest. “Alrighty then. There’s Mirror-Me, the Dazzlings, anybody else?”
Sunset Shimmer licked her lips, holding the book as if to shield herself with it. “Um. Hi.”

Bwhahahahaha!

“No! No, no, no. Of course not.” Twilight bit down hard on her lip, suppressing a grin. “I’d be happy to come. Ecstatic, really.”

I wonder if she'll be quite so excited once they get to the other side and she's a horse.

The mirror is missing? Well that's not good.

Who'd want a mirror into a world of awesome super-monkey's with a decent understanding of quantum physics, eh?

Maybe some kind of mad scientist, eh?

Honestly, I'd have preferred to have the identity of the murderer be kept a mystery. Personal preference.
Also, what motive would Aria have to hide a portal?

Aside from that, great fic!

5886984

I'm kidding. It's a joke.

I'm sorry, I was trying to be funny(ish) too and it fell flat. I didn't mean to be obtuse. :pinkiesmile:


5887190

Fair enough, but even if he's not Sunny Sr, I remain firm in my belief that Tirek Odolwa's last words were "Maaaiiiiii Waiiiifuuu!"

Tirek is still alive and rotting in prison, actually. :trixieshiftright:

I agree with your interpretation of where Rarity's interests lie, it's just I also have a hard time picturing her as a roommate with Rainbow Dash as well.

Rainbow Dash and Rarity never get time together on the show, aside from the one time Dash modeled for her. I guess it's my way of exploring a new facet of their relationship... the actual relationship. I did the same thing in Blueblood's Ascension with their "alicorn envy." Just making up reasons for them to hang out.

They really don't have all that much in common, I've noticed. Rainbow's childhood friends with Fluttershy, constant rival of Applejack, prank partner to Pinkie, and reading buddy to Twilight. Rarity's as hard working as Applejack, a connoisseur of all things frilly with Fluttershy, a city-girl with Twilight, and... well... Pinkie hasn't really had a solid connection either.

I feel like I can show that ponies can be friends without necessarily having anything in common. Their friendship is deeper than "We just do fun things together."

I just realized: Star Wars, Indiana Jones, that whole airship scene in Daybreak reminding me of Air Force One... How many more Harrison Ford movies will you work in? (Please say all). :rainbowkiss:

I would, but I haven't seen them all! :raritydespair:

Regardless, look for a little bit of Patriot Games to show up down the line. :trollestia: Come to your own conclusion there.

Is there some kind of link to deviant art for people who want to read it or something?

The... problem there is that most of it is downright embarrassing. It has all the hallmarks of a "My First Fanfiction." Rampant misspelled words, a confusing plot, character that we don't quite get to know, crossovers with everything, random jokes that fall flat, images that literally hurt your eyes to look at...

It gets much, much, much better later on. We go from this mess:

img4.imageshack.us/img4/4369/ds1rdl.jpg

To this glorious piece of photography:

i1064.photobucket.com/albums/u369/MyHobby2/Transformers%20Homeworld/Grand%20Finale%201/Comic5.jpg~original

Please note that it is a Transformers fan comic at heart, though the Marvel crossover gets a huge, huge, huge cut of the story. Please enjoy Transformers: Homeworld. :twilightsmile:

First off, she literally demonized herself.

Eeeexactly! :ajsmug:

The magnitude of their past sins is what makes their redemption all the greater story, and them all the more ultimately sympathetic characters. If a good reformed character was one who was only a minor jerk in the first place, we'd be hip deep in stories about the redemption of Jet Set and Upper Crust.

Instead we've got armies of Silver Spoon and Prince Blueblood stories. I'm not sorry for the tradeoff.

I like your point. Some of the greatest stories told about some of the greatest characters have been about redemptions. Darth Vader obviously, Iago from Aladdin (it was too awesome! :flutterrage:), Zuko from Avatar, the list is easily accessible from TV Tropes. I'm glad that My Little Pony avoids the Redemption Equals Death trope, because reformed villains are super interesting.

The earth justice system, however, is much less hug-it-out based than the Equestrian one, and since human Twilight is a cop, she's probably going to have a lot of pointed questions at the end of this for our favorite bacon-head.

That's if she isn't boggled by everyone's favorite adorkable librarian. :twilightsheepish:

Oh, there is a book. It's just probably written on human skin, with angry red glowing eyes on the cover.

This is why the cover to the Grimoire Alicorn is made from cowhide. :trollestia:

Starswirl banished those Sirens to a world where he didn't warn anyone about them, and he certainly didn't ask permission from any governments.

Ignoring the heck outta Fiendship is Magic, just for the sake of argument, what sort of government was there when they were banished around 1,000 years ago? Various tribes. The monarchy-minded Starswirl probably didn't give a gnat's fart about them, pardon my Fancy.

Also, indefinite exile sits poorly with me, not exactly a just punishment.

But it is highly classical and well-fitting to the fairy tale setting! :rainbowkiss:

And between that movie and Reflections, it does seem like Starswirl made a lot of arbitrary decisions without worrying about the consequences. I wonder if that was because he figured the only person he knew who would be around when the chickens came home to roost was Celestia, and he was pretty pissed at her towards the end?

Here's my headcanon:

Starswirl fell to the crime of hubris. It's one of the reasons I like the theory that Trixie is a direct descendant. He was old and set in his ways. He thought he knew better than anyone else. He didn't think things through--almost like Twilight can be, actually. He found a solution and even if it wasn't right, it was his idea and thus amazing.

He made the mirror between worlds. Rather than find out how to stabilize it, he closed the connection and stuffed the mirror away. Even knowing how Celestia felt.

At which point Celestia did the exact thing Starswirl did: Used a placebo that put everyone in danger, instead of actually searching for a solution. It's a classic Greek tragedy. And it still makes me misty-eyed, darn it.

There is no cure for Tropes Disorder short of excising fiction in all forms from your life,

Which is a bit like never eating so that you can lose weight...

but reading soothing slice-of-life adventure comedy romance sci fi superhero political thrillers that reference, and wittily avert, subvert or even play straight those tropes helps me live with my condition on a day-to-day basis.

I've never had my stories likened to prescription drugs before. This is a new one for me. :twilightoops:

Notice how in those framed portraits of her winning, it seems like she gets progressively worse each year?

Yes, but I won't talk about it since it ties into future chapters of this story. :trollestia:

The color scheme fits, though I also like the possibility that she hatched Philomena.

Ooh, I actually like that much better. it would help the timeline, too, because it would be possible that Philomena's little episode in the show might have been her first regeneration. So of course Twilight wouldn't have known about it!

As I recall, you were explaining how Trixie used to date Flash,

Trixie currently dates Pony!Flash, to the point where she still needs to introduce him to her folks. I swear i'm still working on that one. :pinkiesad2:

It's Not Creepy indeed.

:applejackconfused:

Well now I remember. Dang it. Let's go back to talking about Trixie's fishnets and how big a catch Flash ended up being.

Pinkie had to fight a pig for him, didn't she? :pinkiesmile:

Little known fact: Jim Henson was a blackbelt in Muppet-Fu.


5887278

I hope not, it'd seem too contrived.

Precisely!

Thinking further I'm wondering on Sonata's line “Sirens don’t hurt their own. Never ever never.” I can't help but think there's some meaning on this, because as far as I know it has already been proven false in the fic.

Everything Sonata said was meticulously designed to have meaning. A surface meaning or a deeper meaning, that's for you to decide. Or to find out as the story continues! :raritywink:


5888670

I have nothing to add other than the fact that this is amazing.
That is all.

Thanks for the compliment! I aim to keep it amazing going forward. I hope you enjoy!


5899756

Hmn, so Sunset has a ring that is being explicitly pointed out, which I'm assuming is a wedding ring, but no husband in sight.

It's explicitly called a wedding band a few paragraphs down from the top. :pinkiehappy:

My going to go out on a limb and guess that she married human Flash, and that like pony Flash he's in the military and is currently deployed somewhere.

You guys keep guessing Flash. It's like there aren't any other prominent male characters in Equestria Girls or something!

You know, as much as SciTwi keeps going on about Sunset's 'mom jeans', her own wardrobe better be stylin'.

At the moment, she's wearing a nice, purple button up shirt. She's got it tucked into her jeans, which fit juuuuust right. :twilightblush:

Plus that totally bad-flank long coat. Can't forget the long coat.

I wonder if she'll be quite so excited once they get to the other side and she's a horse.

It's going to be glorious!


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Who'd want a mirror into a world of awesome super-monkey's with a decent understanding of quantum physics, eh?
Maybe some kind of mad scientist, eh?

I think Starswirl the Bearded, but Twilight Sparkle has her moments. Who did you have in mind?


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Honestly, I'd have preferred to have the identity of the murderer be kept a mystery. Personal preference.

It is really early in the plot to outright reveal the murderer, I know. I had to take a risk with this one to get the story moving in the right direction, so I hope you like the payoff. There's still a bit of mystery to be solved!

Also, what motive would Aria have to hide a portal?

That is a question this story seeks to answer!

Aside from that, great fic!

Thank you very much and get ready for a wild ride!


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CLIFFHANGER

Yeah, I've been trying to create more cliffhangers. I usually have a habit of ending the chapter on a closing note, but when I leave a story hanging, it's really, really hanging!

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They really don't have all that much in common, I've noticed. Rainbow's childhood friends with Fluttershy, constant rival of Applejack, prank partner to Pinkie, and reading buddy to Twilight. Rarity's as hard working as Applejack, a connoisseur of all things frilly with Fluttershy, a city-girl with Twilight, and... well... Pinkie hasn't really had a solid connection either.

It's a small town, so everybody in Ponyville knows everyone else (but only Pinkie knows everybody else's birthday! :pinkiesmile:).

I've find the period between when the Mane 5 all move to Ponyville and Twilight shows up to be a fascinating subject I like reading about and considering (I even read this short, 3 story verse once by a great author that included Rarity raising capital for her business by working at Hayburger). Based on how we see them interact in season 1, I figured Applejack was already best friends/rivals with Rainbow Dash, since we see them casually hanging out only a few episodes in, Rainbow Dash as we all know is childhood friends with Fluttershy, and Rarity and Fluttershy have been hitting up the spa together/discussing fashion for years. Pinkie is kind of everyone's general friend at this point. We do see Rarity and Applejack bond, and Pinkie and Rainbow Dash bond, but that is about all we really see of these types of episodes. (Which is quite a shame. How would Applejack and Fluttershy spend time together? This should be a slice of life episode!).

All this is my long-winded way of saying I agree, Rarity and Rainbow Dash probably hang out less than any other of the Mane 6, but they are still friends. If Rainbow Dash can stomach going to the butterfly migration with Fluttershy, she can sit through a few fashion competitions to root for her friend, and I bet Rarity is happy to watch her friend practice stunt flying overhead while sipping tea.

I was mainly wondering about them as roomates because we know Rarity is a neatfreak, and it's hard to imagine Rainbow Dash as anything other than a slob, classic odd couple situation. That sportcoat that got dropped on the floor of the car, how often has Rarity complained about it being dropped on the living room floor?

I would, but I haven't seen them all! :raritydespair:
Regardless, look for a little bit of Patriot Games to show up down the line. :trollestia: Come to your own conclusion there.

Nice. In the meantime, I'll enjoy watching Twilight and Sunset hunting down The Fugitive.

Please enjoy Transformers: Homeworld. :twilightsmile:

Ok, I'm not going to BS you, the writing was so-so, but I really liked that weird lense photography thing you were doing. It reminds me a lot of the Harry Potter Comics, a stop-motion lego comic with cool graphics added as well. I do like whatever made your pictures look like they were rotoscoped or something.

Also, you've now published a Deadpool joke you wrote on Fimfiction, no one can deny your comic nerd credentials!

I like your point. Some of the greatest stories told about some of the greatest characters have been about redemptions. Darth Vader obviously, Iago from Aladdin (it was too awesome! :flutterrage:)

You don't have to argue with me, I find Gilbert Gottried's voice hilarious.

Zuko from Avatar

Wait, that was a redemption story? I thought it was a tale of a former Marine sent to a new world to save his people by getting them Unobtainium, only to betray his oath and people and doom Earth. I didn't see it actually.

I'm glad that My Little Pony avoids the Redemption Equals Death trope, because reformed villains are super interesting.

Redemption is probably my favorite trope of all. I wasn't a big fan of the DBZ battles at the end of the last season, but it was all worth it for the awesome payoff of Discord's redemption arc.

That's if she isn't boggled by everyone's favorite adorkable librarian. :twilightsheepish:

Spike is adorkable? :moustache: After further consideration, I may have jumped the gun with all the quoting of terrible laws and war crimes to hoist Sunset up on. On EqG people are purple, violence is just not considered by normal people (if it was the first two movies would have ended very differently, if say Applejack had access to firearms instead of just rainbow magic), and

Tirek is still alive and rotting in prison, actually. :trixieshiftright:

indicates this is definitely a cross between Earth and Equestria, including some of their incredible propensity for mercy. Maybe CSI:Twilight won't badger a friend who's truly reformed over crimes committed a decade ago after all.

Starswirl fell to the crime of hubris. It's one of the reasons I like the theory that Trixie is a direct descendant. He was old and set in his ways. He thought he knew better than anyone else. He didn't think things through--almost like Twilight can be, actually. He found a solution and even if it wasn't right, it was his idea and thus amazing.

I've read that idea and I love it, it would explain so much about Trixie's character. I read a great fic with that premise once as well. And yeah, Starswirl is kind of "I am the archmage, it's my power, so we do things my way." Celestia does somewhat better, but the reflexive secrecy is something she picked up from her teacher. The way they just dump their problems somewhere and forget about them, they both remind me of how Global Warming was fixed on Futurama:

Documentary Narrator: Fortunately, our handsomest politicians came up with a cheap, last minute way to combat global warming. Ever since 2063, we simply drop a giant ice cube into the ocean now and again.
Suzie: Just like daddy puts in his drink every morning. Then he gets mad.
Documentary Narrator: Of course, because the greenhouse gasses are still building up, it takes more and more ice each time, thus solving the problem once and for all.
Suzie: But...
Documentary Narrator: Once and for all!

He made the mirror between worlds. Rather than find out how to stabilize it, he closed the connection and stuffed the mirror away. Even knowing how Celestia felt.
At which point Celestia did the exact thing Starswirl did: Used a placebo that put everyone in danger, instead of actually searching for a solution. It's a classic Greek tragedy. And it still makes me misty-eyed, darn it.

Now you got me going. That's the only tragic ending I think there is in MLP canon.

I've never had my stories likened to prescription drugs before. This is a new one for me. :twilightoops:

A new one that they're likened to drugs, or a new on that they're likened to prescription drugs? :rainbowhuh: And you encouraged me to go back there earlier

the list is easily accessible from TV Tropes.

Have you no sense of decency, sir?!

Ooh, I actually like that much better. it would help the timeline, too, because it would be possible that Philomena's little episode in the show might have been her first regeneration. So of course Twilight wouldn't have known about it!

Yeah, everyone assumes Phoenixes are immortal because they are in mythology and fiction, but in Equestria they seem a lot more common, and they lay multiple eggs. Since Equestria is not hip-deep in phoenixes, they may have normal life-spans, and Philomena could be only a decade old.

Trixie currently dates Pony!Flash, to the point where she still needs to introduce him to her folks. I swear i'm still working on that one. :pinkiesad2:

I swear I'm still excited for Mustangian Trixie! :pinkiecrazy:

Well now I remember. Dang it. Let's go back to talking about Trixie's fishnets and how big a catch Flash ended up being.

Sorry, undid some repression there, oops. :twilightblush:

Little known fact: Jim Henson was a blackbelt in Muppet-Fu.

We both know Muppet-Fu is just flailing at a dude while your hands are covered in Muppets until said dude gets creeped out and runs away.

Oh... the Spike tag is for Dog Spike, not Dragon Spike. I was sort of wondering if it was going to be that, or if Dragon Spike was going to be ont he other side, with Human Twilight and Dragon Spike having mutual shock.

I guess there might still be shock, depending on where they come out, but it could be half a world away.

Oooohhh, the suspense! Wonder where sonata's going.

Sunset, if you have always loved magic so much why didn't you return to Equestria once you've atoned enough? It's been a decade since that fateful Fall Formal.

Twilight Sparkle... as much as I love hearing the sound of someone's viewpoint shattering in a million pieces it's good you to have Sunset as your guide to blunt the shock even if a bit. I also think she's afraid of the power of magic... I'm glad she is.

(I'm looking forward for the time Sunset gives magic lessons to Twilight after they go to Equestria, in particular to Twilight's inner thought process of her realizing her magic)


Sonata, what are you meaning there? Was that some tie with the "siren never hurting siren"? After all that doesn't apply if one actually isn't a siren... Well, it will be fun to see how far away I'll be from the truth.

This is actually building up rather nicely. I'm quite interested to see in which direction it goes.

"Captain! The Plot is expanding! At this rate it might consume the entire sector!" :raritydespair:
"Engineering! Do we have any more Techno babble!?" :twilightoops:
:applejackunsure: "Why am ah on engineerin?"
"Applejack!" :twilightangry2:
"Phine, No, We dont have anymore Techno-whatsmahoots" :applejackconfused:
"CELESTIA HELP US!" :facehoof:


Anyhow, I really, really am enjoying this! Though I must say I have a great deal of anticipation for the time that we finally enter Equestria, just because it is so interesting to see the world you have fleshed out so thoroughly clash with what we know! :derpytongue2:

Twilight shined a flashlight at the horse’s head. “You guys really have some kinda equine fixation, don’t you?”

In a sense.

Sunset blew the fire out and rubbed her hand on her jeans. She blushed under Twilight’s intense stare. “So, um… machine, right?”

How did you do that?

Twilight pulled her glasses off to rub her eyes. “Sunset… Sunset. You can’t just go and break my mind like that. Give a girl a little warning, alright?”
Once they had reached the bottom of the steps, Sunset laid an arm around Twilight’s shoulder. “Your mind has not begun to be blown. Just consider this a preview of what’s to come.”

Poor Twilight.

Sunset squeezed. “By the time I was carted to Davenport and Roseluck’s, I was just happy to have a roof over my head.”
“Davenport and Rose—” Twilight’s eyebrows jumped as she leaned back. “You’re Scootaloo’s foster sister?”
A grin brightened Sunset’s clouded face. “Yeah, I am. How do you know her?”
“She’s one of Apple Bloom’s best friends. I was usually dodging water balloons while I was tutoring Big Mac.” Twilight narrowed her eyes playfully. “If it was your idea to form the Crusaders Club, I may never forgive you.”

That's, actually pretty sweet.

“I wasn’t that evil!” Sunset said with a guffaw. Spike’s head perked up as his tail wagged. “No. I was a victim just as often as anybody else was.”

Fair enough, even Discord wouldn't have been that evil.

Pinkie Pie smiled as Cheese Cake, her toddler and current youngest child, crawled up her arms. “No problemaroonie, Sunset! You know Sunny’s always welcome here!”

Shouldn't it be Cheese PIE? Also, Cheese, Cheese Sandwich perhaps?

Cheese Danish, a seven-year-old boy, hurried in. He tried to hide the fact that his mouth was dripping with whipped cream. “Yes, Mommy!”

Never mind my earlier pie comment.

“Crazy? Girl, you have not seen crazy in this house.” Pinkie Pie giggled, letting a snort escape. “When three kids you reach, then can you talk to me of crazy.”

“Well, you know, we’ll probably take a break after this one.” Pinkie waggled her hand. “At least until Danny’s grown up.”
She took a deep breath in and snuggled Cheese Cake close. “There’s just something magical about my kids, Sunset. Something beautiful and amazing and fantastic. I love ’em to bits.”

I see.

Sunset jumped as Pinkie Pie whirled around, shouting at the top of her lungs. “Cherrileena Persephone Pie! You put that cookie back, get your buns into the bathroom, and wash your hands!”
On the other side of the house, Cherry Pie, a five-year-old girl with curly pink hair, slowly lowered herself from the countertop.
Pinkie Pie laughed. “Who needs eyes in the back of their head when they’ve got a mom-radar?”

Riiight.

Pinkie stuck her hands in her pockets. She looked up at Sunset with watery eyes. “Sunset… these aren’t invisible, pretend monsters hiding in the shadows. These are real. These are the kinds who, when you sing at them, they just laugh back.”

Yep, Giggle at the Ghostly may work for illusions or things that just mess with your head, that are otherwise harmless, but, against real physical threats like Discord, he's more than likely to just laugh back, were he still evil, speaking of which, I wonder how Sunset is going to take Discord being up and about.

Sonata walked away, making a beeline for the door. “You know the sad thing about there being more than one of everything?”
Caution Tape’s mouth dipped open. He made a small, dithering sound. “Uh, ah, no, what is it?”
Sonata pulled the door open. Rain prickled against her face. “It means nothing’s unique.”

...

There's a lot of good background in this chapter.

something that I considered my birthright.

Interesting, "birthright?" Did Sunset just believe she deserved to be a princess because she was born with magical talent, or are you hinting at a lofty heritage for our dear Sunny?

Lots of stuff we already knew, but I really like this detail:

“Right. But that’s ten years of change.” Sunset watched Spike’s sides heave with every breath he took. “Took about a week for the police to pick up the young girl stealing food and living in dumpsters. With no known next of kin or legal guardians, I was put into the system.”

You mean when a sheltered academic teenager trapped in an alien body arrives in a different dimension with a society bizarrly different from her own, she doesn't just pull a giant pile of gems conveniently out of her plot and live in her own Friends-style apartment? Sorry, I've just seen a lot of rather silly backstories given to Sunset Shimmer where her entire transition to Earth was handwaved, and I appreciate your realistic take on it.

Sunset squeezed. “By the time I was carted to Davenport and Roseluck’s, I was just happy to have a roof over my head.”
“Davenport and Rose—” Twilight’s eyebrows jumped as she leaned back. “You’re Scootaloo’s foster sister?”

Ooh, I like this! I hope it becomes relevant in Equestria too! I will say at this point however, while I normally am a huge fan of integrating comic canon into stories, I really hope you don't make this comic part of this story. It would be incredibly heartbreaking if Scoots did that to her own sister!

Sunset gave her a double-take. “What’d you say?”
“Actually, I think I’ll just bring him with us.” Twilight took the stairs two at a time. “Come on, Spike! Come here, boy! Wanna go for a ride?”

Oh YES! I am holding out for dragon, but I will accept Diamond Dog!

Cheese Cake scrunched her nose. “No.”
“We’ll see about that, my sweet.” Pinkie smirked. “Danny! Can you come carry Sunny’s things to Cheesy’s room?”
Cheese Danish, a seven-year-old boy, hurried in. He tried to hide the fact that his mouth was dripping with whipped cream. “Yes, Mommy!”

Normally I'm quite skilled in ferreting out even the most illusive of clues and backstories, such as my discovery of Dread Lady Peachy Pie. But now I feel quite distressed, because Sunset and Twilight are leaving soon and I feel like we readers will miss our last chance to guess the mysterious identiy of Mr. Pinkie Pie! Why have you shrouded his identity in such impenetrable mystery! Wait... cheese, cheese, cheese... Cheese comes in wheels, Trixie distrusts wheels, so she makes snips and snails pull her around while wearing the Alicorn Amulet. Snips..snips.. snips... I've got it! The father of Pinkie's child is Babs Seed!

She winked. “If you see the other Pinkie over there, remind her that she needs to hurry up and find her hubby. She’s missing out.”

That's not fair! Pinkie can't go all the way to Manehatten where Babs lives, that's the home turf of a rival party pony, What's-his-name Sandwich! :pinkiegasp:

She lifted her head and saw lights in the distance. Houses big and small stood out in the darkness as people played, watched television, read, or whatever else they did on stormy nights. The suburbs lay open, warm and inviting. She quickened her pace and made way for her intended destination.

In their Fiendship is Magic comic, the Sirens are dropped by Starswirl out a hole ten feet in the air. That's probably another portal. That, or maybe Aria found a closet that opens into the Everfree forest or something.

Twilight shined a flashlight at the horse’s head. “You guys really have some kinda equine fixation, don’t you?”

Does she actually not know that the other side of the portal is a land of ponies and other non-humans?

Twilight is going to track down the other mirror by way of the communication book and her magic tracking gear? Good plan, I hadn't quite worked out how they'd find it given zero clues to start with.

“That’s an oversight, alright.” Sunset rubbed her forefinger and thumb together. She smiled as a spark jumped out from beneath her fingernail. “Hold on, I’ve got a light.”
“I didn’t take you for somebody who’d carry around…” Twilight’s jaw dropped as she looked over her shoulder. “A lighter?”
Flames danced across Sunset’s hand, providing a little light to the stairway. She pointed with her other hand. “Found the switch.”

Awesome. Such a great song and animation sequence, this may be the first story I've seen use it. Phoenix fire Sunset is a go!

The secret to magic is sugar? That explains Pinkie.

There’s whole libraries full of magic textbooks teaching how to perform different spells, or to brew potions, or how to manipulate the weather, or anything you can imagine.

:pinkiehappy:

The breath caught in Twilight’s throat. She looked at her dog. His graying tail wagged behind him as he waited for a word from either of them.
Twilight blinked. “Anything you can imagine.”

Ooooooo. Makes me wonder if dog Spike is going to turn into another dragon Spike, and if so what the consequences of that might be. At this point in the timeline Equestrian Spike is full on a young adult with the size to match, would puppy Spike turn into something similar? Would he be unexpectedly sapient? Would he be a giant elder fire-breathing dragon on account of his relative age? :twilightoops:

Sunset jumped as Pinkie Pie whirled around, shouting at the top of her lungs. “Cherrileena Persephone Pie! You put that cookie back, get your buns into the bathroom, and wash your hands!”
On the other side of the house, Cherry Pie, a five-year-old girl with curly pink hair, slowly lowered herself from the countertop.

Hahaha!

Pretty good chapter. As always, it's cool to learn more about your version of the EG world.

Just out of curiosity, have you read Seven Days in Sunny June? It's pretty much my go-to fic for EG head canon (at least before Rainbow Rocks came out), and there's a couple of little parallels to your story here (like Sunset using magic with her hands). Not saying that's a bad thing of course! :twilightsmile:

You really need to tell us who Sunset's husband is! :raritywink:

Trivia aside, this is a very, very interesting beginning to the story; it has caught my attention and I really, really want to know where this is going.

I thought that Sonata was lying about knowing where the portal was. Yeah, she wants Twilight and Sunset to find Adagio for her, but I suspect that her love for her dead sister and simple honour will demand that the death-blow falls to her.

5926239

Oh... the Spike tag is for Dog Spike, not Dragon Spike. I was sort of wondering if it was going to be that, or if Dragon Spike was going to be ont he other side, with Human Twilight and Dragon Spike having mutual shock.

The tags are for both, actually! Same as the Twilight Sparkle tag. Fear not, for our favorite dragon shall make his appearance! :moustache:

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Sunset, if you have always loved magic so much why didn't you return to Equestria once you've atoned enough? It's been a decade since that fateful Fall Formal.

This is a question to be answered in the story. :scootangel:

Twilight Sparkle... as much as I love hearing the sound of someone's viewpoint shattering in a million pieces it's good you to have Sunset as your guide to blunt the shock even if a bit. I also think she's afraid of the power of magic... I'm glad she is.

If the show has taught us one this, it's that overwhelmed Twilight Sparkle is a very, very bad thing. I think Sunset Shimmer learned this long ago.

(I'm looking forward for the time Sunset gives magic lessons to Twilight after they go to Equestria, in particular to Twilight's inner thought process of her realizing her magic)

I hope it's as awesome as you think! I'm looking forward to it myself.

Sonata, what are you meaning there? Was that some tie with the "siren never hurting siren"? After all that doesn't apply if one actually isn't a siren... Well, it will be fun to see how far away I'll be from the truth.

Might say Sonata's got secrets within secrets, hmm?


5926526

This is actually building up rather nicely. I'm quite interested to see in which direction it goes.

Thank you! At the moment, it's going straight to Equestria.


5927140

"Captain! The Plot is expanding! At this rate it might consume the entire sector!"
"Engineering! Do we have any more Techno babble!?"
"Why am ah on engineerin?"
"Applejack!"
"Phine, No, We dont have anymore Techno-whatsmahoots"
"CELESTIA HELP US!"

:rainbowdetermined2: What's technobabble? Some kinda new dance mix?
:flutterrage: You get off my ship!

Anyhow, I really, really am enjoying this! Though I must say I have a great deal of anticipation for the time that we finally enter Equestria, just because it is so interesting to see the world you have fleshed out so thoroughly clash with what we know!

Preliminary reports suggest we'll be seeing Equestria as soon as next chapter. :pinkiehappy: And lemme tell yah, building up and fleshing out these worlds have been incredibly fun. We've got a lot of great compare and contrast moments coming up.


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Shouldn't it be Cheese PIE? Also, Cheese, Cheese Sandwich perhaps?
Never mind my earlier pie comment.

They're switching off which family's naming shtick they use. Cheese, Pinkie, Cheese, Pinkie. They're still working on what they're gonna name the next one, but bet on "Pie" bringing up the rear.

Yoda is my favorite source for quotes.

Yep, Giggle at the Ghostly may work for illusions or things that just mess with your head, that are otherwise harmless, but, against real physical threats like Discord, he's more than likely to just laugh back, were he still evil, speaking of which, I wonder how Sunset is going to take Discord being up and about.

I'm sure Twilight Sparkle told her sometime in the last ten years. They've kept up their pen pal thing really well. It would be really fun to see the two of them meet, but for the sake of time and pacing, it's probably not gonna happen. Not in this story.

Probably.


5930459

I was mainly wondering about them as roomates because we know Rarity is a neatfreak, and it's hard to imagine Rainbow Dash as anything other than a slob, classic odd couple situation. That sportcoat that got dropped on the floor of the car, how often has Rarity complained about it being dropped on the living room floor?

Getting an inside look at her home, I'd say she's less a slob and more selectively neglectful. She clearly takes care of important things like trophies and her pet and keeping her floor clean.

Ok, I'm not going to BS you, the writing was so-so,

"So-so" is a very mild way of putting it. Like I told you before, it's embarrassing. I can't complain too much, though, since it was the first step to becoming the author I am now. My humor has only been refined, my sense of style has been sharpened, my eye for action is acceptable, and my love of romance has become more pronounced!

but I really liked that weird lense photography thing you were doing. It reminds me a lot of the Harry Potter Comics, a stop-motion lego comic with cool graphics added as well.

It's the medium everybody was using on that site. It was an excellent excuse for toy nerds to play with their action figures. Plus, comics are fantastic. Just the way it is.

Thanks for pointing that comic out, by the way. I'm always looking around for more lego comics. :twilightsmile:

I do like whatever made your pictures look like they were rotoscoped or something.

You're talking about one of two things: The pictures being fuzzy and thus kinda looking like they're "animated"; or, the panels where I painstakingly cut out the pictures of the figures and pasted them over a background. I'm going to assume its the latter, because that's more flattering. :twilightsheepish:

Wait, that was a redemption story? I thought it was a tale of a former Marine sent to a new world to save his people by getting them Unobtainium, only to betray his oath and people and doom Earth. I didn't see it actually.

Zuko from The Legend of Aang, then. :facehoof:

Spike is adorkable?

No sir. Twilight is the Adorkable Princess Doctor Pony Librarian. Spike is the Sexy Suave Debonair Dragon Librarian.

A new one that they're likened to drugs, or a new on that they're likened to prescription drugs? :rainbowhuh:

Prescription. :ajsmug: Many people asked me what I was on when I wrote The Criminal Mind of Fluttershy.

they lay multiple eggs

Wow. That is a really good case against immortal phoenixes I never considered before. Huh. Messes with my headcanon something fierce, but I'm a malleable kinda guy. I'll say that Philomena is indeed still alive in Equestria, as is Peewee, and they will be for many years to come.

Maybe they're the Galapagos tortoises of Equestria! Super-duper long-lived. :raritystarry:

We both know Muppet-Fu is just flailing at a dude while your hands are covered in Muppets until said dude gets creeped out and runs away.

Dude, no, it requires an amazing amount of dexterity and strength and voice modulation. You don't even know. People train for decades to become masters. Miss Piggy is an inspiration to us all.

You mean when a sheltered academic teenager trapped in an alien body arrives in a different dimension with a society bizarrly different from her own, she doesn't just pull a giant pile of gems conveniently out of her plot and live in her own Friends-style apartment?

It's much more believable when you realize she was about fifteen years old at the time. Or maybe it's that other thing? :derpyderp1:

Ooh, I like this! I hope it becomes relevant in Equestria too! I will say at this point however, while I normally am a huge fan of integrating comic canon into stories, I really hope you don't make this comic part of this story. It would be incredibly heartbreaking if Scoots did that to her own sister!

It would be horrible, and tragic, and heart-wrenching.

:trixieshiftleft::trixieshiftright:

I'll mention that I'm already ignoring Fiendship is Magic and leave it at that. Heheheh.

But now I feel quite distressed, because Sunset and Twilight are leaving soon and I feel like we readers will miss our last chance to guess the mysterious identiy of Mr. Pinkie Pie! Why have you shrouded his identity in such impenetrable mystery!

Because life has to have some mysteries!

Wait... cheese, cheese, cheese... Cheese comes in wheels, Trixie distrusts wheels, so she makes snips and snails pull her around while wearing the Alicorn Amulet. Snips..snips.. snips... I've got it! The father of Pinkie's child is Babs Seed!

Aw cuss darn you and your petulant intuition and deductive reasoning!

That, or maybe Aria found a closet that opens into the Everfree forest or something.

I already made the Narnia reference in Lord Mayor Applejack. More at this point would just be... Well, completely called for. In fact, this story practically begs for references to that series.


5931543

Does she actually not know that the other side of the portal is a land of ponies and other non-humans?

I think she's gonna figure it out pretty quick!

Twilight is going to track down the other mirror by way of the communication book and her magic tracking gear? Good plan, I hadn't quite worked out how they'd find it given zero clues to start with.

Fifty percent intuition and fifty percent dumb luck, it seems!

Awesome. Such a great song and animation sequence, this may be the first story I've seen use it. Phoenix fire Sunset is a go!

I had to include it. I just had to! :raritystarry: (Shame she didn't hold onto the outfit, had to be way better than the mom jean's she's stuck with). The best thing it does for the story is explain how Sunset's still pretty good at magic after all this time.

The secret to magic is sugar? That explains Pinkie.

Plus the Cake kids and their little adventure with Pinkie babysitting. I get the feeling the little darlings found the special supply of all-natural sugar under the counter.

Ooooooo. Makes me wonder if dog Spike is going to turn into another dragon Spike, and if so what the consequences of that might be. At this point in the timeline Equestrian Spike is full on a young adult with the size to match, would puppy Spike turn into something similar? Would he be unexpectedly sapient? Would he be a giant elder fire-breathing dragon on account of his relative age?

These are all very good, very smart questions that you would do well to keep in mind.

Cuz I'm not tellin'!


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Just out of curiosity, have you read Seven Days in Sunny June?

I've been about halfway through the first book for a while now. Those chapters with very adult themes were hard for me to get through, but I can't deny that it's got an fascinating interpretation of the EQG world. I'm planning on finishing it at some point in the near future, at which point I'll probably continue the series.

there's a couple of little parallels to your story here (like Sunset using magic with her hands). Not saying that's a bad thing of course! :twilightsmile:

Now that you mention it, the first place I'd seen Sunset as a foster kid was in 7DSJ. So I guess you can call that a direct inspiration! :rainbowlaugh:


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You really need to tell us who Sunset's husband is!

I will! I promise!

But I'm gonna keep you in suspense for a while first, m'kay?

Trivia aside, this is a very, very interesting beginning to the story; it has caught my attention and I really, really want to know where this is going.

Thank you for the compliment! This story has me super-excited, if I do say so myself. I'm working really hard to pull it off; if I do, it's gonna be great.

I thought that Sonata was lying about knowing where the portal was. Yeah, she wants Twilight and Sunset to find Adagio for her, but I suspect that her love for her dead sister and simple honour will demand that the death-blow falls to her.

Ohoho! Now there's an idea. A siren avenger of blood!

But beware, twists hide around every corner!

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Then I'm more excited!

Come to think, what would be a good "starring AU versions of these characters going to the main universe" without some meeting of themselves.

Woulda been a missed opportunity that is now unmissed!

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Getting an inside look at her home, I'd say she's less a slob and more selectively neglectful. She clearly takes care of important things like trophies and her pet and keeping her floor clean.

You have a point, her house is actually pretty clean. I wonder if that is because anything unenchanted she puts on the floor, as opposed to presumably enchanted furniture, just falls through... but if we start unraveling the illogic of cloud houses, we'll never get anywhere, so I guess you have a point.
Now that I think about it, Rarity and Rainbow Dash actually did a semi-decent job decorating Twilight's Palace together. Sure they argued, but they were both using reasonable furnishings, like wonderbolts posters or fancy curtains, as opposed to dirt on the floor... or suprise explosions everywhere... or a bear.

My humor has only been refined, my sense of style has been sharpened, my eye for action is acceptable, and my love of romance has become more pronounced!

All too true. Through diligent fiction practice you've gotten stronger, faster, better than than you were before!

Thanks for pointing that comic out, by the way. I'm always looking around for more lego comics. :twilightsmile:

It's a great one. It has time travel, pitting technology and magic against each other (and then combining them), great action leavened by lots of humor, adorable romance, and tons of nerdy references. I think you might like it. :raritywink:

Zuko from The Legend of Aang, then. :facehoof:

Oh yeah, I love Zuko's story of redemption! He starts out as an angry young greaser, but with the power of love from Sandy he turns his life around! vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/grease/images/f/f4/Grease-grease-the-movie-27911372-460-276.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20121226060031

No sir. Twilight is the Adorkable Princess Doctor Pony Librarian. Spike is the Sexy Suave Debonair Dragon Librarian.

...................................eeeeeh. I dunno about that. Remember the beginning of the Incredibles? When Mr. Incredible was working as a claims adjuster, and he was always accidentally breaking stuff with his super strength in a hilarious way? You could call that adorkable, but sexy, suave and debonair is a stretch. He's no Pipsqueak, that's for sure.

Many people asked me what I was on when I wrote The Criminal Mind of Fluttershy.

I assumed a PETA person threw blood on you or something. :rainbowkiss:

Maybe they're the Galapagos tortoises of Equestria! Super-duper long-lived. :raritystarry:

Yeah, that makes sense, except they can be enjoyed all year round! (Ha HA!):rainbowderp:

Dude, no, it requires an amazing amount of dexterity and strength and voice modulation. You don't even know. People train for decades to become masters

Probably why you never see any muggers on Sesame Street.

Miss Piggy is an inspiration to us all.

Oh she is, she got that frog in the end, after all. :raritystarry:

It's much more believable when you realize she was about fifteen years old at the time. Or maybe it's that other thing? :derpyderp1:

It's the other thing. I mean, even if she had a bunch of gems, how does she keep from getting robbed long enough to get a fake social security number, birth certificate, etc. This is the first Sunset Shimmer story I can think of that doesn't imply Celestia and Luna are ignoring their jobs as Mandatory Reporters of Child Neglect, now that I think about it.

Aw cuss darn you and your petulant intuition and deductive reasoning!

Elementary, MyDearHobby!

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