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"For fun" is the best reason to do anything. "The best" is the best way to do everything.


T

There came a time when Pipsqueak was no longer a colt. There came a time when he was allowed to stay in Ponyville, rather than head back to Trottingham for the summer. There came a time when he was able to plan his own camping trip. His first camping trip.

The ponies who have accepted his invitation to join include Dinky, Twist, Button Mash, and Snips. Some have camped before, some have never camped before, and most have no idea what they're doing. When things start to go wrong, can this band of friends hold together?

Nah, probably not.


Rated Teen for

Minor Smooching
and
Creative Insults


Chapters (1)
Comments ( 22 )

What a mess. :facehoof:

4877440

What a mess. :facehoof:

Careful. That comment could be easily misinterpreted to mean the story's a mess, rather than the characters' camping trip. :twistnerd:

Ah that hit me with a good dose of old Boy Scout nostalgia! Except I don't think we ever had those kinds of calamities. We lived up to our motto of be prepared.

Even though you only mentioned him in passing, thank you for making Time Turner a perfectly mundane pony.

Minor note: at one point, you have the word "chords" when it should be "cords".

I gotta say, Slice-of-Life holds a dear place in my heart. Not every story needs to be about ancient evils and marauding conquerors. Sometimes, the best tales are the ones of the most mundane actions.

Very nice story, author. :ajsmug:

4878147

Ah that hit me with a good dose of old Boy Scout nostalgia! Except I don't think we ever had those kinds of calamities. We lived up to our motto of be prepared.

Most of the calamities, such as the collapsing tent and the overcrowded beach, are pulled right from my memory of family camping trips. I belong to an organization that's kinda like boy scouts but isn't, and we tend to have better success in the staying-out-of-trouble department. :pinkiehappy:


4878661

Even though you only mentioned him in passing, thank you for making Time Turner a perfectly mundane pony.

When I'm writing a Doctor Who crossover, I'll write a crossover. When I'm not writing a Doctor Who crossover, I won't. :eeyup:

Minor note: at one point, you have the word "chords" when it should be "cords".

Fixed, fixed, and double-fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.


4879739

I gotta say, Slice-of-Life holds a dear place in my heart. [...] Sometimes, the best tales are the ones of the most mundane actions.

Me, too. A lot of my favorite shows and books growing up were just about life in general. With a side of humor, of course.

Not every story needs to be about ancient evils and marauding conquerors.

No, but I like those stories, too. Specifically, the one that comes next in this series. :rainbowwild:

Very nice story, author. :ajsmug:

Thank you!

I think I've had every one of those disasters happen one boy scout camping trip or another, the collapsing tent in particular must have happened 3 times. Always made you appreciate sleeping in a bed when you get home.
I love Pip's Trottingisms. Does he call large carts lorries?

After a while, he found that while the Ponyville vernacular came more naturally, his Trottingham accent made girls giggle.

Excellent reasoning skills, and at such a young age, too.

He always went for the Minotaur Lord of Old, Battlefight.

Also a reasonable plan.

Poor short Pipsqueak. It was pretty much destined with that name.

Dinky is going to be the only reason they survive this trip, isn't she. :derpyderp2:

When Dinky had rushed to meet Pipsqueak, he, too, ran to meet her. Onlookers could see the exact moment when they realized they were on a collision course. Neither pony was able to put on the breaks quite fast enough. Pipsqueak collided with Dinky’s legs, and she landed on top of his back.

Well that's fairly adorable, though I may have to take back my theory on Dinky and the trip. Maybe Twist? :twistnerd:

“Mine,” Dinky said. “And it won’t be so bad. We’ll have our tents set up, and the rain’ll stop before we get up tomorrow.”

Hahahhahaha! (I'm laughing because in my very limited experience with camping, being a newbie at putting up a tent means you're probably not going to set it up to be rainproof.)

Wow, I didn't expect them all to get soaked even before the rain started.

“Oh, Fillyscouts.” Snips nodded. “Gonna start setting Ponyville on fire, huh?”

Seems pretty unlikely, actually. You have to actually be able to make fire in order to set things on fire with it.

Ahh, and there's the expected tent failures.

Dinky shoved him over. She walked sideways until she was a ways from him. “Come on then, charmer. Let’s have some fun.”
Pipsqueak hopped up and saluted. “Anything for you, madam!”

Well, at least they're a cute couple.

4881415

I think I've had every one of those disasters happen one boy scout camping trip or another, the collapsing tent in particular must have happened 3 times. Always made you appreciate sleeping in a bed when you get home.

The collapsing tent happened only the one time for me. Much like the story, the storm blew our tent down right on top of our heads. We spent the night at home. We came back the next day and the entire campsite was covered in horseflies. Big, biting horseflies. They made my dad's legs bleed. It was bonkers.

I love camping. :pinkiecrazy:

I love Pip's Trottingisms. Does he call large carts lorries?

He will if I can remember that the next time he appears in a story. :twilightblush:


4881417

Excellent reasoning skills, and at such a young age, too.

He always was a clever colt!

Poor short Pipsqueak. It was pretty much destined with that name.

It adds to his adorableness, so Dinky tells me.

Dinky is going to be the only reason they survive this trip, isn't she. :derpyderp2:

:trollestia:

Well that's fairly adorable, though I may have to take back my theory on Dinky and the trip. Maybe Twist? :twistnerd:

:trollestia::trollestia::trollestia:

Hahahhahaha! (I'm laughing because in my very limited experience with camping, being a newbie at putting up a tent means you're probably not going to set it up to be rainproof.)

Right, but that's something you learn very, very quickly.

Seems pretty unlikely, actually. You have to actually be able to make fire in order to set things on fire with it.

No, no. You see, everything but the fire pit will be on fire. :derpytongue2:

Well, at least they're a cute couple.

I sure hope so, even if they weren't shown in their best light.

I don't know what to say. Story was good. It had characterizations that were really cute like Dinky and Pip's size differences, and Button was a sarcastic little smart ass. Twist was nice but she didn't stand out to me much.

It was a cute though average tale of off-road shenanigans. Classic. But all that said, I can't really say I found Pip or many of them really interesting. Which is weird, because it was a nice story, paced nicely, and you got a nice slice of life moments with actually very cute moments for some. But I can't really say I was entertained enough to care about Pipsqueak and the gang's camping trip?

This likely just stems from not being one who enjoys most Pip centric fics. He just doesn't really interest me regardless what role he seems to play. He has a nice charm to him in this story, and I'll give you props for making a Pip story I didn't feel my time was wasted on, but it hasn't done anything to excite me.

I think the dynamic of the group was missing something. I'm not sure. As decent length the story was, it didn't feel like the characters really had any 'moments' to really shine aside from Dinky and Pip.

I still think it earned the like I gave it, not out of 'pity' or 'authors cool dude ya! free like!' or anything. There was the tied up scene with a certain character, that river scene, and the cutest moment I felt before the ending where the young lovers so 'elegantly' run up to one another.

This being a story I read a day something ago, I honestly can't recall much of anything Twist. So it's not like I'm avoiding her. She was just sort of there I guess.


I'm rambling and rambling trying to figure out what it was about this Pip story that feels like it's missing some important element that many of this troupe's stories' tend to have that just feels missing here. The beginning started off so nicely too. Ending is fine. it's somewhere in between that just. I can't even describe it.

I'm sorry. I know I'm just talking to myself for like ever now, but I guess I'll just settle "It's too normal" as a reason? I know it's slice of life, but I won't ever say a story is ever uninteresting or boring because it's Slice of Life. Frankly, it's my favorite genre even in anime. Take Minami-ke series, all 4 seasons are just a perfect example of the mundane being made interesting. Fun. Exciting. And did I mention 80% of it takes place in their own home?

You should watch that anime btw. It's brilliant. The specials are a must see too.

I'm sorry. I'll stop now. I'm still suffering through my insomnia at the moment. Take these streams of consciousness with a grain of salt.

4889811

I'm rambling and rambling trying to figure out what it was about this Pip story that feels like it's missing some important element that many of this troupe's stories' tend to have that just feels missing here. The beginning started off so nicely too. Ending is fine. it's somewhere in between that just. I can't even describe it.

Hmm. I think I might see what's going on. Something was bugging me, too, but I couldn't quite lay my finger on it. When I read over your comment, I think it came to me. While the story was funny when it meant to be funny, and cute when it meant to be cute, there wasn't really anything for them to tie into. It was just a collection of scenes that work well alone, but there wasn't a core idea to hold it together.

In the end, that means that it's an average, forgettable, yet fun story. And I think I'm okay with that. It wouldn't be the first of its kind I've written, and it probably won't be the last. I'm wise enough to know I won't write a winner of a story every time. :twilightblush:

I'm glad you enjoyed parts of it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

Take Minami-ke series, all 4 seasons are just a perfect example of the mundane being made interesting. Fun. Exciting. And did I mention 80% of it takes place in their own home? You should watch that anime btw. It's brilliant. The specials are a must see too.

I'll have to see if I can't track down a couple episodes. :twilightsmile: I need more slice in my life.

I'm sorry. I'll stop now. I'm still suffering through my insomnia at the moment. Take these streams of consciousness with a grain of salt.

A grain of salt, sure, but you still managed to hit a key point I'd been missing. Thanks! :pinkiehappy:

It would be nice if there were some pictures of the aged up cast.

At least they made. This is why I never go camping. The outdoors and I don't have a cordial relationship.

4901046

It would be nice if there were some pictures of the aged up cast.

Alas and alack, this is true. Until my art skills magically improve, i'll have to paint a picture with words. I'd almost say search "aged up" on derpiburougadooloopadee, or however you say it, but you aren't gonna really get the same effect, nor the same details. :applejackunsure:

At least they made it. This is why I never go camping. The outdoors and I don't have a cordial relationship.

Aw, it's easy! You just have to learn how to BEAT NATURE INTO SUBMISSION!:flutterrage:

:pinkiehappy:

*Grins* This is why I have a cottage.:rainbowlaugh:

4943643

*Grins* This is why I have a cottage.:rainbowlaugh:

My inner tent snob, who is about three inches tall, says that's not camping. The rest of me says that there's nothing like sleeping on rocks to make you appreciate a mattress. :twilightsheepish:

4943972 Your inner tent snob is absolutely correct n_n In response I will quote Jim Gaffigan: "My parents never took me camping because they love me." :rainbowlaugh:

And oh yeah, one night with sticks poking you all night makes even foam look wonderful.

Your stories have got quite a charm to them that make them feel unique. I really liked this story a lot just like your other near-future tales. I'm sad that they have so few views and thumbs up because I feel they deserve much more for your efforts.

Thank you very much for crafting and sharing this work.

5368221

Your stories have got quite a charm to them that make them feel unique. I really liked this story a lot just like your other near-future tales.

Thank you! I'm glad you've been enjoying them. One of my favorite things to do is share a little laughter. :pinkiehappy:

I'm sad that they have so few views and thumbs up because I feel they deserve much more for your efforts.

I'm actually not doing too bad. I get new readers with every story I post, so I'm constantly gaining attention. I think if my popularity ever exploded I might go crazy just trying to figure out what the hay to do.

Thank you very much for crafting and sharing this work.

Thank you for taking the time to read and say what you thought! I appreciate it a bunch!

Though not your best, this is a pretty cute story with some fun and heartwarming moments. I like your interpretation of adult Pip (reminds me of a more normal Gavin Free), and would love to see more of him and his relationship with Dinky. Consider yourself Liked! :raritywink:

5508332

Though not your best, this is a pretty cute story with some fun and heartwarming moments.

Thanks for being honest. :pinkiehappy: I think it's good for what it is. (I'm pretty sure the best is yet to come :raritywink:)

I like your interpretation of adult Pip (reminds me of a more normal Gavin Free), and would love to see more of him and his relationship with Dinky. Consider yourself Liked! :raritywink:

I wanna do more DinkyPip, too. We might see them in the next one-shot (starring Spike), but don't hold me to that. That story still needs some finagling before it's ready to go.

Dinky tapped her hoof in time with the tune in her head. She probably shouldn’t have arrived a half-hour early to the rendezvous spot, but she was a fan of punctuality. She supposed it came from her and her mother’s friendship with Time Turner, the town’s clockmaker. He always told her that if she arrived ten minutes early, she’d always have that little bit of extra time to prepare for “what may come.”

So he's NOT the Doctor here? Oh well. He still sounds like a fun guy.

Dinky bared her teeth in a parody of a smile. “Yeah. Just a sec.”

That mare scares me.

They lay still for a moment while Snips chuckled at their expense.

I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can relate to Snips, I often find the misfortune/pain of other absolutely hilarious. Good to know him and Snails have grown out of the stupidity that made them bring an Ursa Minor into town. I doubt Trixie took that well.

“You cut that out now!”
“Suit yourself.”

Bad choice of words Button.

“Dish wush eh shturpid ide,” Dinky growled through the ropes.

Yep. But it's hysterical for me.

“Was never an option, Love,” Pipsqueak sighed. “How’s your tent look, Button Mash?”

Pipsqueak now sounds like Captain Jack Sparrow. You're welcome.:pinkiehappy:

“Anywhere we can bally well stay dry, chappy!?” Pipsqueak growled. “Tallyho, wot wot, cheerio!?”

Hehe, Pip is amusing when mad.

This is a nice little story. I like the personalities you gave each of these characters -- especially Dinky, who seems to almost be the Twilight of the group. I think her relationship with Pipsqueak was a nice little touch as well.

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