There came a time when Pipsqueak was no longer a colt. There came a time when he was allowed to stay in Ponyville, rather than head back to Trottingham for the summer. There came a time when he was able to plan his own camping trip. His first camping trip.
The ponies who have accepted his invitation to join include Dinky, Twist, Button Mash, and Snips. Some have camped before, some have never camped before, and most have no idea what they're doing. When things start to go wrong, can this band of friends hold together?
Nah, probably not.
Rated Teen for
Minor Smooching
and
Creative Insults
Part of The Heart's Promise Continuity
Lord Mayor Applejack
Fahr Drill
The Unmitigated Disaster
Scootaloo Will Fly!
Nature in the Wild
DayBreak
Lightning Struck Home
In the Absence of Sunset Shimmer
An Equestrian Griffon
If You Weren't Afraid
The Worst Kept Secret
Rhythm and Rhyme
In the Absence of Twilight Sparkle
The High Pariah of Breezy Bastion
The Heart's Promise
What a mess.
4877440
Careful. That comment could be easily misinterpreted to mean the story's a mess, rather than the characters' camping trip.
Ah that hit me with a good dose of old Boy Scout nostalgia! Except I don't think we ever had those kinds of calamities. We lived up to our motto of be prepared.
Even though you only mentioned him in passing, thank you for making Time Turner a perfectly mundane pony.
Minor note: at one point, you have the word "chords" when it should be "cords".
I gotta say, Slice-of-Life holds a dear place in my heart. Not every story needs to be about ancient evils and marauding conquerors. Sometimes, the best tales are the ones of the most mundane actions.
Very nice story, author.
4878147
Most of the calamities, such as the collapsing tent and the overcrowded beach, are pulled right from my memory of family camping trips. I belong to an organization that's kinda like boy scouts but isn't, and we tend to have better success in the staying-out-of-trouble department.
4878661
When I'm writing a Doctor Who crossover, I'll write a crossover. When I'm not writing a Doctor Who crossover, I won't.
Fixed, fixed, and double-fixed. Thanks for pointing that out.
4879739
Me, too. A lot of my favorite shows and books growing up were just about life in general. With a side of humor, of course.
No, but I like those stories, too. Specifically, the one that comes next in this series.
Thank you!
I think I've had every one of those disasters happen one boy scout camping trip or another, the collapsing tent in particular must have happened 3 times. Always made you appreciate sleeping in a bed when you get home.
I love Pip's Trottingisms. Does he call large carts lorries?
Excellent reasoning skills, and at such a young age, too.
Also a reasonable plan.
Poor short Pipsqueak. It was pretty much destined with that name.
Dinky is going to be the only reason they survive this trip, isn't she.
Well that's fairly adorable, though I may have to take back my theory on Dinky and the trip. Maybe Twist?
Hahahhahaha! (I'm laughing because in my very limited experience with camping, being a newbie at putting up a tent means you're probably not going to set it up to be rainproof.)
Wow, I didn't expect them all to get soaked even before the rain started.
Seems pretty unlikely, actually. You have to actually be able to make fire in order to set things on fire with it.
Ahh, and there's the expected tent failures.
Well, at least they're a cute couple.
4881415
The collapsing tent happened only the one time for me. Much like the story, the storm blew our tent down right on top of our heads. We spent the night at home. We came back the next day and the entire campsite was covered in horseflies. Big, biting horseflies. They made my dad's legs bleed. It was bonkers.
I love camping.
He will if I can remember that the next time he appears in a story.
4881417
He always was a clever colt!
It adds to his adorableness, so Dinky tells me.
Right, but that's something you learn very, very quickly.
No, no. You see, everything but the fire pit will be on fire.
I sure hope so, even if they weren't shown in their best light.
I don't know what to say. Story was good. It had characterizations that were really cute like Dinky and Pip's size differences, and Button was a sarcastic little smart ass. Twist was nice but she didn't stand out to me much.
It was a cute though average tale of off-road shenanigans. Classic. But all that said, I can't really say I found Pip or many of them really interesting. Which is weird, because it was a nice story, paced nicely, and you got a nice slice of life moments with actually very cute moments for some. But I can't really say I was entertained enough to care about Pipsqueak and the gang's camping trip?
This likely just stems from not being one who enjoys most Pip centric fics. He just doesn't really interest me regardless what role he seems to play. He has a nice charm to him in this story, and I'll give you props for making a Pip story I didn't feel my time was wasted on, but it hasn't done anything to excite me.
I think the dynamic of the group was missing something. I'm not sure. As decent length the story was, it didn't feel like the characters really had any 'moments' to really shine aside from Dinky and Pip.
I still think it earned the like I gave it, not out of 'pity' or 'authors cool dude ya! free like!' or anything. There was the tied up scene with a certain character, that river scene, and the cutest moment I felt before the ending where the young lovers so 'elegantly' run up to one another.
This being a story I read a day something ago, I honestly can't recall much of anything Twist. So it's not like I'm avoiding her. She was just sort of there I guess.
I'm rambling and rambling trying to figure out what it was about this Pip story that feels like it's missing some important element that many of this troupe's stories' tend to have that just feels missing here. The beginning started off so nicely too. Ending is fine. it's somewhere in between that just. I can't even describe it.
I'm sorry. I know I'm just talking to myself for like ever now, but I guess I'll just settle "It's too normal" as a reason? I know it's slice of life, but I won't ever say a story is ever uninteresting or boring because it's Slice of Life. Frankly, it's my favorite genre even in anime. Take Minami-ke series, all 4 seasons are just a perfect example of the mundane being made interesting. Fun. Exciting. And did I mention 80% of it takes place in their own home?
You should watch that anime btw. It's brilliant. The specials are a must see too.
I'm sorry. I'll stop now. I'm still suffering through my insomnia at the moment. Take these streams of consciousness with a grain of salt.
4889811
Hmm. I think I might see what's going on. Something was bugging me, too, but I couldn't quite lay my finger on it. When I read over your comment, I think it came to me. While the story was funny when it meant to be funny, and cute when it meant to be cute, there wasn't really anything for them to tie into. It was just a collection of scenes that work well alone, but there wasn't a core idea to hold it together.
In the end, that means that it's an average, forgettable, yet fun story. And I think I'm okay with that. It wouldn't be the first of its kind I've written, and it probably won't be the last. I'm wise enough to know I won't write a winner of a story every time.
I'm glad you enjoyed parts of it. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
I'll have to see if I can't track down a couple episodes.
I need more slice in my life.
A grain of salt, sure, but you still managed to hit a key point I'd been missing. Thanks!
It would be nice if there were some pictures of the aged up cast.
At least they made. This is why I never go camping. The outdoors and I don't have a cordial relationship.
4901046
Alas and alack, this is true. Until my art skills magically improve, i'll have to paint a picture with words. I'd almost say search "aged up" on derpiburougadooloopadee, or however you say it, but you aren't gonna really get the same effect, nor the same details.
Aw, it's easy! You just have to learn how to BEAT NATURE INTO SUBMISSION!
*Grins* This is why I have a cottage.
4943643
My inner tent snob, who is about three inches tall, says that's not camping. The rest of me says that there's nothing like sleeping on rocks to make you appreciate a mattress.
4943972 Your inner tent snob is absolutely correct n_n In response I will quote Jim Gaffigan: "My parents never took me camping because they love me."
And oh yeah, one night with sticks poking you all night makes even foam look wonderful.
Your stories have got quite a charm to them that make them feel unique. I really liked this story a lot just like your other near-future tales. I'm sad that they have so few views and thumbs up because I feel they deserve much more for your efforts.
Thank you very much for crafting and sharing this work.
5368221
Thank you! I'm glad you've been enjoying them. One of my favorite things to do is share a little laughter.
I'm actually not doing too bad. I get new readers with every story I post, so I'm constantly gaining attention. I think if my popularity ever exploded I might go crazy just trying to figure out what the hay to do.
Thank you for taking the time to read and say what you thought! I appreciate it a bunch!
Though not your best, this is a pretty cute story with some fun and heartwarming moments. I like your interpretation of adult Pip (reminds me of a more normal Gavin Free), and would love to see more of him and his relationship with Dinky. Consider yourself Liked!
5508332
Thanks for being honest.
I think it's good for what it is. (I'm pretty sure the best is yet to come 
)
I wanna do more DinkyPip, too. We might see them in the next one-shot (starring Spike), but don't hold me to that. That story still needs some finagling before it's ready to go.
So he's NOT the Doctor here? Oh well. He still sounds like a fun guy.
That mare scares me.
I can't believe I'm saying this, but I can relate to Snips, I often find the misfortune/pain of other absolutely hilarious. Good to know him and Snails have grown out of the stupidity that made them bring an Ursa Minor into town. I doubt Trixie took that well.
Bad choice of words Button.
Yep. But it's hysterical for me.
Pipsqueak now sounds like Captain Jack Sparrow. You're welcome.
Hehe, Pip is amusing when mad.
A nice side trip in this enjoyable series.
so the gal is taller then the dude.ok