Applejack, Lord Mayor of Ponyville, is invited to the minotaur homeland of Beefland. A new sapient creature has been discovered and, frankly, they need Celestia's help. Foreign relations ensue as Applejack meets and greets leaders from all over the world.
Not every leader's interest in the creature is academic. Plots intertwine and unravel as Applejack navigates the strange world that is international politics.
And also, maybe more importantly, interpersonal relations.
Rated Teen for
Politics
and
Drama
Part of The Heart's Promise Continuity
Lord Mayor Applejack
Fahr Drill
The Unmitigated Disaster
Scootaloo Will Fly!
Nature in the Wild
DayBreak
Lightning Struck Home
In the Absence of Sunset Shimmer
An Equestrian Griffon
If You Weren't Afraid
The Worst Kept Secret
Rhythm and Rhyme
In the Absence of Twilight Sparkle
The High Pariah of Breezy Bastion
The Heart's Promise
Looks more promising than I expected going in. Upvoted, let's see where this goes.
Okay, color me intrigued
4170216
While that doesn't speak much for my ability to sell a story, I am grateful for your vote of confidence!
4170738
Intrigued is sort of a bluish-purple, right?
But of course! Nopony gubernates like Gaston, after all.
4171250
Your narrative is a bit bare bones but you seem pretty skilled over-all. This story really should have gotten more attention than this.
A new Sapience, eh? What could possibly go wrong?
Huh, okay, yeah they should probably be careful.
4171670
Aheeheeheeheeheeheehee
4172872
Thank you.
The narrative for this story is a bit "there because it needs to be" to start, but I think it'll pick up once we get some solid conflict.
I predict the number of likes will double by the time I finish it.
4173377
Care and Caution agree. Or they would, if they were in the room.
4173830
It's actually pretty interesting, though. I mean, I'd totally read this story even if it was only about Applejack trying her damndest to be a good mayor.
T-Twenty likes? Woah!
This is a neat story. Humorous and not at all badly written. The one thing I can say is maybe think of a better way to implement the footnotes. To read them I either have to scroll all the way down to the author's notes - losing my place in the chapter - or wait until I finish reading the chapter, by which point I've forgotten what exactly the footnotes are referring to. Maybe find a way to implement the footnotes in the actual chapter itself near the sentence it applies to (perhaps separated by italics or a quote box or something). For example:
"I hope you die, you dirty, dirty Shisno!(1)" Said Gary.
Other than that, it's good and I look forward to more!
4187912
Yeah, footnotes in a story that reads vertically like this are really, really hard to do right. If they even can be done right. I'll play with them a bit.
I like your idea of separating them in a quote box, that seems like it has serious staying power. The issue is deciding how close to the indicated prose to put it. I feel like if I add it right below the paragraph, then it might as well have been added to the paragraph. The problem there is that the footnotes are supposed to be for giving additional information without interrupting the flow of the story.(*)
I could wait a few paragraphs and put the notes there, but that would then be a sore thumb-esque block of quote right in the middle of the story. I could put it right before a scene break, but then you'd have the same problem with scrolling and losing your place.
I'll play with it.
I'm glad you're enjoying yourself! I'm getting a real kick out of it, too.
Footnotes
(*): Of course the irony is that it breaks up the flow anyway, since you need to stop reading and scroll.
*Grins* Another interesting chapter, things jsut keep improving.
4188136
It's an upward spiral, my dear Maskedferret! Please do hold on to the handrail and enjoy the ride. Wot.
I'm really liking how you're characterizing all of these important
poniespeople as, y'know, people. Especially the nod to cultural differences being something a new politician should really get to know sooner rather than later. I still don't know where you're going with this yet, but the worldbuilding is interesting in it's own right, so there. (Especially the Breezies. They're sort of new, but nobody ever does anything with the Breezies.)4187997
Regarding footnotes, that's really the best you can do on a site that disallows user-defined custom formatting. (i.e. basically all of them but AO3) I guess you could ask readers to use Ctrl+F to go to the footnote and back to the text? Because that's what I do. Although telling people to do something is rude?
I am far more into this story than is probably healthy!
4188526
Thank you.The best and worst thing about people is that they're people, and people make for marvelous stories. Good characterization is a dream of mine, you might say. I try to get in a lot of practice.
Well, a bit more of this, and then moving into what they decide to do about the Sapience. And how nobody can agree on anything. And how Applejack tries to solve it.
There's the nutshell, to be honest.
I know, it just feels like there's this perfect solution just waiting to be uncovered. Or at least something that can make everybody happy.
Which is kinda ironic, considering what this story's about. Or is it coincidental? Maybe both.
Sometimes. It might be in this case, what with adding a new rule to how they read.
I didn't even know how to use CTRL+F until a couple days ago. Heh.
4189657
For this affliction, I would normally prescribe another dose of chapters, but the next isn't written yet.
I was thinking more along the lines of eternal elder statesman, but I guess AJ's suggestion works too.
Seabreeze!
Hah!
4196535
I think you'll find that Playground Monitor is far more apt.
4212923
Go to see the new Marvel movie. Come back and see an update....
Noice. (mis-pelling intended.)
4220211
Hail Hydra!
Ahem. Yes, quite a good movie/story combo. I enjoyed Captain America very much myself!
Should Equestria and/or it's surrounding territories even have plastic? I know many things in Equestria look like plastic, but the general technology always seemed just a tad too old-world for synthetic materials to be common place.
Beyond that, I am watching this fic with interest, and Seabreeze is best breezie.
4228487
Eeah... Good point. I'd be hard pressed to point out anything in the cartoon that had to be made of plastic. There's enough technological disparity in canon that I could easily say "Why not?" but that would be cheating.
Instead, I'd say that all you really need for plastic is oil, heat, pressure, miscellaneous ingredients, and somebody desperate enough to synthesize a material that is flexible and moldable at "lower" temperatures.
In fact, I should probably make a footnote about that sometime.
Good to hear, and yes. Yes he is.
4228944
Desperate, or crazy.
FLIM: I say, brother of mine, this new "plass-tick" is incredible! Cheap, light-weight, moldable...
FLAM: Yes, indeed! With just a little yellow #4, we can sell tubes of it as an inexpensive cheese substitute!
Also, on the subject of food, did no one consider the idea that their new, omnivorous guest might prefer UNCOOKED meat?
4229298
I'll have the griffons answer that question when they arrive. I think a conversation would serve this potential plot-hole better than a footnote.
I was gonna post that Seabreeze is Best Breezie, but 4228487 beat me to it!
Guess that's what I get for putting off this chapter. Fie to me.
Also there is totally a denizen of Ponyville that would probably be super interested in a not-jerk dragon with an occupation as a scribe. Or roll his eyes at it. Or both!
4234164
Not only is he Best Breezie, but in this fic, he's wearing an ITTY BITTY SUIT!
Possibly. The idea that older dragons are more mature than Garble isn't that much of a shock, and given what little we see of Shard's personality, Spike and Shard would probably end up rolling their eyes together at the rest of the group*.
* This group deserves much eye rolling, and needs at least one deadpan snarker at all times.
4237804 I think he's wearing that form fitting suit with the fluffy neck he had on in the show.
4234164
You heard it here, folks! Get in your quips now, because they're going fast!
Probably both, after which they would talk about what makes the best feather pen, which gemstones to use in cupcakes, and how long it'll take for Garble to crash the family airship.(6)
4237804
>>RadicalDishonesty
From his first appearance: "The black, form-fitting suit he wore clamped tight around his blue coat, and displayed his insect-thin legs for all to see." It was my intent that he was wearing his outfit from the show.
But! That little suit is too great an idea to ignore! I think he'll have to wear something nice at a formal dinner.
>>The Fanfic Crusader
It's too true, i think.
When there's dumb in the water, the snarks will come.
Footnotes
(6): Dragons do not, as a whole, own airships. That would be silly.
4237838
Really? To a historic meeting of Heads of State the like of which has not been seen for oodles of years?
AUTHOR! Come to the aid of your readership! DESCRIBE THE ITTY BITTY SUIT, AND LEAVE NO DETAIL UNMENTIONED! Is it the same suit we saw in "It Ain't Easy Being Breezy?" Enquiring foals want to know.
4238420
PFAHAHAH! Yes, get your quips in quickly. I was TEN SECONDS OFF when asking about the suit!
My solution is to copy the footnotes into a notepad and just pull it up when one appears. It's only made tricky because I don't always know in advance if there are footnotes.
Very cool stuff.
4238424
In which most Heads of State are running around in the nude, Donkeys notwithstanding.
Fair enough. Both the body glove and the itty-bitty suit shall be described in detail! Maybe not all in the same paragraph, but over the course of a chapter or two.
Ha! Yeah, I was just about to go offline when I saw that comment notification. Had a giggle or two when I answered your question almost before you asked it. Great minds... think for themselves!
4244454
Clever! Most impressive. I'll save you a bit of trouble and inform you that every single chapter of this story is going to have at least one footnote.
Thank you. I think it's about to get that much cooler, if I do say so myself.
4248841
The grandeur of Izod's Hat makes up for the rest of them, or at least obscures the view.
You had Spike grow that moustache just so you could twirl it, didn't you?
How about "great minds log in at roughly the same time?"
4248917
I can see the historical portrait now. Mangle stands proud, his hands on his hips, a roguish grin on his face...
And Izod stands in front of him, a dull frown on his face, his hat covering up Mangle's lower half.
Shard's knee might fit next to Celestia.
I'm afraid a shaving accident prevented me from twirling my own.
I like that one!
I admit, I didn´t expect the human to be goddamn Megan.
So many things to talk about!
Well, first, to get rid of the splinter in my mind there's a minor grammar mistake early on:
With that out of the way, and in no particular order:
I see what you did there.
I've always kind of preferred the idea that Zecora came from Darkest Zebrica myself. I was also half-hoping that the Zebra ruler would speak in Haiku.
Kicks McGee is my new favourite leg.
Some rulers just don't GET subtlety, do they?
It figures the first HiE's name is Megan.
Still, kudos on using a female HiE. They are depressingly rare.
Here's where I raise an eyebrow. Megan thought they weren't intelligent? They clearly made gestures to communicate with her, such as "come here," and while most of them are naked, she's still surrounded by bipedal tool-using minotaurs that brought her food, and an Alicorn wearing a golden crown and matching accessories (to say nothing of the donkey in a hat as big as his ego). By the time she's entertaining a fluttering fairy-pony with a danish accent, a dragon with a giant quill pen, and an Ursagryph with a wingspan that would make a pteradon feel inadequate, questioning that they can also talk should be the least of her issues.
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm not a fan of the idea that they just use a Comprehend Languages spell. On the one hoof, using magic saves some time so we can get the main plot going faster, but on the other, it also moves the focus away from all the zany hijinx a Language-Barrier can provide.
Wouldn't they already assume something like that? They've never seen a member of Megan's species before, so the idea that she came from somewhere nearby and knows about them when they don't know anything about her seems odd to me. Maybe they think she's been in hiding?
So, all together, there's some good, some bad, and interesting things on the horizon. I quite look forward to dinner.
4290680 Yeah. I wasn't expecting that either.
4290680
I believe that would be "THE gosh-darned Megan."
4290806
Thank you for that. I swear it seems like my "M" key misses every once in a while. aybe that's y fault.
It's actually a thing, kinda. I'm just a big copy-cat nerd.
I've considered Zebrica and Zebrabwe both. I ended up choosing Girafrica because I think I made it up and I think i'm terribly clever.
Zebras don't speak in Haiku, Gazelles do.
Mine, too, if only because it's easier to spell than Bucky McGillicuddy.
Andean doesn't find much use for finesse.
Credit where credit is due, and Megan was the first! Of course, back then it was called Ponyland and we had centaurs to fight, but credit where it's due.
It's a fair point. However, i'm keeping it the way it is because this is where Megan finds herself. She's dealing with her perceptions being messed with. I've known people who had something held in front of their face, but they didn't quite grasp it because "But that's wrong."
In addition, she didn't say they were unintelligent, she said that they were animals. Her perception of animals should come up later, since she has a few cultural barriers of her own. She's just a bit nervous and confused.
May I say, I utterly love this rundown of the cast? It's so spot-on it hurts.
Comprehend Languages Potion, actually. It's an off-shoot of the Fix a Chipped Tooth Potion.
Which is dangerously convenient, don't you think? Reeks of bad planning.
...
What if I promise that it's plot relevant in more than just a way to get the plot rolling?
Neither Discord nor the changelings' appearances were the result of a long-range teleport. Celestia knows that assumptions are dangerous things, so she was probably considering a little of everything. That's one reason why everyone's so eager to speak with her, you might say.
It's also really hard to imply that a character is assuming something without making them all sound like Izod--"Aha! I knew it was a long range teleport! I knew it all along!"--or making them sound clairvoyant--"Maybe she got here in a long-range teleport!" "Yeah! Wait, how'd you know-?" "The author told me, silly!"
Well, if I can't change your mind on the bad, maybe I can temper it with lots of good. I'm looking forward to dinner as well.
4290859
Hopefully it's a good surprise, as Pinkie Pie would say.
4291085 I am going to be honest. I am not sure yet.
I have nothing really against it or her as a character but unless the story is portrayed as dark or darker than the gen 1 movie I have my reservations. Although with the prophecy of his death... It seems to be going in that sort of direction.
Not to say that I have lost interest or that you have lost my attention. I have been surprised before by stories I put off because I disagreed or felt off with their premise and in turn freakin' loved.
But I have learned to keep reading. The main reason we fall in love with a story is because it goes in to new territory in an unexpected way.
So in short. I am hoping it is the Pinkie type surprise that it is so far...
No pressure.
4291085
I guess we should all be glad that King Andean isn't also a Predacon.
Bucky McGillicuddy is probably that lazy back leg that is always resting against it's neighbour.
Yes, Megan was indeed first, and gets credit where it's do. Also, remember to Call Upon the Sea Ponies, Shoo be doo, shoop shoo be doo.
You may, as it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Although, it's a shame it doesn't include Applejack. She should be in there, but in comparison with everyone else, a southern earth pony mayor in a Stetson is kind of mundane... as weird as that sounds.
That's one of the problems with potion making. You get one ingredient off, and suddenly your Comprehend Languages Potion becomes a Potion of Rule 63 Polymorphing.
Then, I shall be watching with interest.
Good policy.
4291186
The story's rated Teen for a reason.
It is not sunshine and faeries (though Celestia and Seabreeze come close) but it is humorous. Mostly.
In addition, Megan's a bit different than she was in the old cartoon. More on that in the future.
Good for you! It's not often I see someone willing to break out of that comfort zone.
As an author, I try not to dip into that point where a person second-guesses reading my story, but I know i'm not going to please everybody. That said, I hope you stick around for the whole ride!
HA! I work best under pressure!
4291242
Aw, that was gonna be the next big plot-twist! Now that you've ruined it, why bother?
Aaand I have a new headcanon.
"Shoo be doo," he said solemnly as bubbles poured out of his nose. "Shoop shoo be doo."
Nope, no I totally get where you're coming from. I actually chose her for this story for that very reason. She just mundane enough to highlight the weirdness.
Good, good. Give in to your interest. It gives you power, makes you more observant!
Thanks, it's not perfect but it's all I got.
Although, feel free to bring up any issues you see, if you want. It's a really big help in that it at least makes me think about your "eyebrow raising" moments with the story. And thus address them.
So is Andean some sort of immortal alicorn of the griffons, or just huge? Also, kind of getting a cool grand vizier vibe from Aspen.
4291473
Quick! You turn out the lights to distract the readers, I'll edit my comment to say he's really Optimus Prime in disguise. No one will ever know!
Well of COURSE, silly filly!
How can you make Gypsy Stew without TRUFFLES? *digs in, starts speaking in tongues* 
I don't know if you thought about this, but Applejack is also one of the original G1 ponies that was there during Megan's first appearance. With a Megan present (even an AU version), having an Applejack there just makes meta-textual sense.
Darth Pinkie would make an unconventional, but very scary, Sith Lord.
And with readers as nitpick-y as I am, you'll have lots to address.
4293061
Good question. Keep it in mind!
He's a fun character to write for. Great as a straight man, great as a "behind the scenes" kinda guy.
4297739
Um, um...
Look! It's the Wonderbolts!
Eh, Gypsy Stew without truffles just becomes Gypsy Soup, which isn't nearly as potent a--you know--"medicine."
I honestly didn't think of that until I posted this chapter. I wish I could have said "I totally planned that coincidence," but I have a bad case of honesty around Applejack.
"Witness the firepower of this fully-armed and operational Party Star!"
That sounds dangerously like a promise. Here's hoping there's not too much in the way of questionable narrative.
But in all seriousness, thanks!
4301334 Thanks. I don't mean Grand Vizier like evil, just like obviously SOMEONE has to really run the donkey country or it would have fallen apart with just Izod actually running things, and it looks like that individual is Aspen.
4301882
It's a good bet, but I refrain from saying more due to getting close to spoiler territory.
Goddamnit, I was actually looking forward to this until it was revealed that this human is the infamous Megan that everybody and their mother wants to write in as a standard human.
4353766
I knew I should have named her Anon...
She shares about as much with G1 Megan as Applejack shares with G1 Applejack. I realize that's not the most heroic defense I could put up, but there you have it.
And hey, thanks for giving the story a shot.
4353828
"Anon" would arguably have been worse.
4354154
Yes, I must agree with you there.