Applejack prided herself on always rising before Celestia. This morning was no different, which meant that she found herself trotting around the perimeter of the Egg in near-complete darkness. Lord Mayor she was, and a diplomat atop that, but some habits die hard.
Habits like that itch in Kicks McGee that said it was time to buck something (*). She considered going for an apple-less bucking run on the cedars growing by the Egg, but wondered if it would be offensive to the minotaurs. She didn’t much care for the idea of having her legs broken for putting a dent in the tall timbers. So she told Kicks to shush, and settled for a morning run.
She leaned against the Egg, one hoof on the wall. She took the opportunity to suck in a few deep breaths, sampling the smells of a new land. To be completely honest, it smelled a heck of a lot like a farm. Maybe cleaner. Maybe less fertilizer. But between the trees and the dirt and the grass, it smelled like home.
Applejack cocked an ear to point behind her. “Ah know you’re there. Y’all don’t have to hide.”
Hoofsteps came trotting up beside her. Applejack looked over and nodded. “Howdy, Guard Care. You usually up this early?”
“Not often, Your Lordship.” Care stood at full attention, but Applejack could see little bags under her eyes. The guard was wearing lighter armor than her usual ceremonial garb; chain mail linked around her torso, gauntlets covered her legs, and a simple round helmet protected her head. “Today I thought it prudent to take a run around the Egg.”
Applejack smirked. “Picked out the short straw, huh?”
Care twitched. She turned her head to Applejack. “Fair enough, ma’am. Regulations state that you need a guard with you at all times. This morning, that duty is mine.”
“Then welcome aboard the Early-Riser Express.” Applejack stuck out a hoof, and Care took it cautiously. She sat back and regarded the guard, her lower lip jutting out in thought. “So tell me, Care, what’s yer take on the new critter?”
Care returned to attention. “Permission to speak freely, ma’am?”
“Uh oh.” Applejack chuckled. “Ah guess if’n ah want yer honest opinion ah gotta say ‘yes,’ huh? Okay, shoot.”
Care frowned. “Celestia’s being too flippant. We should post a guard at the Sapience’s door at all times. Maybe inside the room. One that’s equipped to deal with strange magic. We really have no idea what that thing’s capable of.”
Applejack took her hat off and fanned herself with it. “Reason.”
Care’s eyebrow rose an iota. “Excuse me?”
“We know it’s capable of reasonin’,” Applejack said. “We just can’t communicate with it.”
“Capable of reasoning,” Care said. “But… willing to?”
“Good question.” Applejack shrugged. “Princess Celestia said that we’d find out once the zebras arrived. I tend to think she knows what she’s doin’ in stuff like this.”
Care angled her gaze to the side. “Yes. I suppose you’re right.”
“’Course ah am!” Applejack put a hoof on Care’s shoulder. “How ’bout one more lap around the Egg? Ah’ll race yah!”
Care smirked. Her horn glowed as she adjusted her helmet. “It would be an honor to race against a former rodeo blue ribbon winner.”
“Ain’t nothin’ ‘former’ ’bout it,” Applejack said. “Ah’m entering next year, too!”
The guard’s smirk evolved into a full-blown grin. “Then I’ll see you at the finish line there, too!”
They set off at a gallop. The sun lifted above the tree line just as they came full circle, bringing the world out of darkness and into living color. Applejack leaned against the side of the Egg as she fought to keep her breaths deep. “Sh-shucks. That all you got?”
Care rolled her shoulders and smiled. She scanned the horizon. “No, ma’am. I’m just getting started.”
Applejack laughed. “Confound you kids an’ yer boundless energy. You’re makin’ me feel like a granny.”
Care didn’t laugh. Her back stiffened and her tail hiked. “Lord Mayor, we need to get Celestia.”
Applejack came up beside her and stared into the distance. She didn’t see much of anything. “What’s up?”
Care pointed to a tiny blob in the midst of the ocean. “We need to tell her that the griffon ships have arrived.”
Applejack had to admit it, she wasn’t used to being around things that were bigger than Celestia. Now she had to content with not only Mangle and his vertical superiority, and Shard with her—um—everything superiority, but also the griffons.
An average griffon was about three times the body mass of a pony. Their lion roots led to them being muscular and powerful, and their avian side led to a grace that was unmatched by most of creation. The griffon guards dwarfed Care and Caution, their sheathed weapons gleaming in the morning light.
Naturally, as Celestia was to an ordinary pony, so King Andean was to an average griffon.
He towered over Applejack, his head turned to the side to focus a single eye on her. Just as most griffons were bigger than ponies, he was triple Celestia’s size. Applejack couldn't help but break off the staring contest to get a fuller look at him.
His head lacked feathers, showing off wrinkly gray skin. The rear of his beak sat flush with his flat forehead, while the front curved down into a meat-tearing hook. Around his neck sat an enormous mane of white feathers, which served to give weight to his otherwise narrow head.
Black feathers grew across his chest and to his midsection, where it was replaced by glossy black fur. His wingspan stretched fully across the street, blocking any passage (1). The tips of his wings and a bit of his belly were white.
His head was that of a condor, and his rear was that of a bear.
“King Andean Ursagryph,” Celestia said. She bowed her head. “It is an honor to meet with you again.”
Andean may have scowled, or that might have just been the curve of his beak. “Princess. Why have I been summoned?”
President Mangle coughed into his hand. “Maybe we should take this inside? To discuss it in private?”
Andean turned to Mangle, and Applejack watched the muscular minotaur wilt. The griffon walked forward at a near-lumber. “Why, President?” Andean said. The corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. “Do you have something to hide?”
Mangle gulped. “Yes?”
Andean’s head twitched to his guards. “Crested! Stellar! Come!”
He glanced to the side, where Izod was teetering back and forth, Aspen gently nudging him to one side or the other. “It had to be important to get Izod out of bed,” he muttered.
Andean lurched forward and ran down the road. His wings caught the wind and lifted him into the sky. He circled overhead, his mass shadowing the sun occasionally. His wings locked, and he held steady.
His guards joined him a moment later and followed him to the Egg.
Applejack shook her head. “By gosh. Ah dunno what tah say.”
Aspen leaned close. “Whatever it is, choose it very carefully.”
Applejack pointed a hoof at the flying griffons. “What? Is this why you told me to watch what I say?”
Aspen sighed through his nose. “A large part of it, yes. You will never get the king to like you, but you might stay tolerable.”
“Tolerable. Never much liked the word.” Applejack frowned. “People ‘toleratin’’ me always made it sound like ah was doin’ somethin’ wrong.”
Aspen skittered over to Izod, corrected his downward plunge, then returned to Applejack’s side. “When have you had the opportunity to be ‘tolerated’?”
“Trust me,” Applejack groaned. “Ah’ve had lots of experience havin’ upper crust-type ponies ‘tolerate’ the silly little farm girl from Ponyville.”
Applejack tilted her head back and sniffed. She closed her eyes and spoke in a spot-on Manehatten accent. “Oh darling, that silly pony is getting dirt on our concrete. Oh, but we must love and tolerate the dullard, Sweet Cheeks. Oh yes, of course, for we are the loving type. Truly.” She snorted. “Buncha hypocrites.”
Aspen’s lip curled. “I see you’ve taken the high road of not tolerating anything at all?”
Applejack jerked her head around. She glared at him. “Ah’ll be nice. Manners don’t cost nothin’. But if’n ah see somethin’ stupid, it’s gettin’ called out.”
“I’m sure that’s very endearing.” Aspen raised an eyebrow. “So you weren’t thinking of running for reelection?”
Applejack squinted. “Maybe, maybe not. What the hay’s that got to do with anything?”
Aspen looked at Izod. The Lord of Lightninggale walked towards the Egg, his hat’s weight pulling him forward. “The path to power,” Aspen said, “is walked upon the backs of stupid people.”
He walked forward and spoke over his shoulder. “Keep your head down, your eyes forward, and your lips dipped in honey, and you will go far.”
Applejack watched him walk off in his lord’s wake. She sighed and pulled her hat lower over her eyes. “Ah hate politics.”
“So do I, Applejack,” Celestia said. She touched a wing to Applejack’s back. “But not everypony has the same outlook as Aspen.”
Applejack flicked her tail. “So what’s yer outlook?”
Celestia pressed her lips together lightly. “I know that there’s always a nicer way to say something.” She smiled, shrugged, and joined the forward march to the Egg.
Applejack stood still, her jaw slack. “Of all the—the stupid non-answers,” she hissed. She ran until she caught up with the princess. “Ah mean your outlook on this tolerance thing.”
Celestia looked down at Applejack, her eyes soft. “I believe that correction should always be given with the intent to build up. To make better.” She turned her eyes forward. “And it should be given in the way best suited to help the one who needs correcting.” She lifted her eyes to the sky, then nodded. “If it needs correcting.”
“An’ how do you know ‘if’ it needs correctin’?” Applejack asked.
“A good first question is: ‘Is this hurting anypony?’” Celestia shrugged. “Beyond that, it becomes a case-by-case thing, honestly.”
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Ah’ve noticed a lot of things are ‘case-by-case’ lately.”
“People are unique, Applejack.” Celestia had a tired smile on her face. “Why should their foibles be any different?”
A gust of wind blew Applejack’s hat from her head as Andean came in for a landing. He reared up on his hind legs and held his talons out. “Who invited the witch!?”
Celestia’s mouth dropped open. “I beg your pardon!”
“The witch! That zebra from Girafrica!” He set his left foreleg on the ground and balled his right talon into a fist. “I see her ship in the distance! Who invited her!?”
Applejack heard a clomp behind her. She turned and watched President Mangle duck behind a nearby wall. The minotaur peeked around the side, giant beads of sweat dripping down his neck.
“Um, I did.” Mangle popped a knuckle. “It’s important.”
Andean thundered closer. He started into Mangle’s eyes with fiery intensity. His head twitched to the side. “Very well, then. Let her prodigious judgment fall on you.”
He flapped off, blowing Applejack’s hat further down the street. She raced after it, snorting steam as she went. She lifted her hoof and hollered at the sky. “Give a pony a little warnin’ next time, yah hear!?”
Celestia hid her smile beneath a hoof. She watched Andean soar and made a “tsk” sound. “Although, there are some who refuse to take correction at all.”
King Andean reclined outside the Sapience’s room. He rolled two smooth, shiny stones around in one talon, and alternated between studying the objects and looking inside the door. Applejack marveled at how his talon clutched the stones, moving them around as an afterthought.
She looked at her hooves. “Maybe hands ain’t so creepy after all.”
“Oh no, Your Lordship,” Care whispered into her ear. “They really are.”
A zebra stallion stood beside Care, his stripy body threatening to strain Applejack’s eyes. She had discovered that Zecora’s Mohawk was the default mane-style for both male and female zebras, with small variations therein. Za’rapha, one of the two zebras to arrive that day, had his Mohawk tapered near the top, giving it the appearance of an axe.
He kept glancing at the griffon king, only to look away just as quickly.
An orb of magic floated just outside the room, through which the eye of a dragon could be seen. The orb was coated in the golden magic of Celestia, who watched with as keen an interest as Shard. The scribble, scribble, scribble of the dragon’s pen leaked out through the orb, along with occasional “hmms.”
The Sapience stared into a large, black cauldron. It roiled and bubbled, though there was no fire to heat it. An aged zebra mare, Zipporah, tossed herbs, liquids, mixtures… just about everything on hand into the pot. The gold rings around her ankles and neck jingled as she bobbed around the room, whispering the recipe to herself.
“With a number of truffles, a half of a score,” Zipporah said, “the power of babble holds kingship no more!”
She dipped a ladle into the brew. She beckoned the Sapience forward with a hoof and held the mixture up for her to drink.
The Sapience shook its head. It pointed at the brew, and then pointed at the zebra.
Zipporah frowned. “Come now, silly fool! To think such of my cooking is cruel!”
“Wouldn’t that be magnificent?” Andean said. He held the stones up to a lamp and watched the reflection change. “We’d have to teach the Sapience how to speak properly the slow way.”
Seabreeze tugged at his fluffy white collar. “Vhee doon’t hev time for this! Joost force it doon ets throat!”
“No need for that,” Celestia said. She walked into the room and put a wingtip on Zipporah’s shoulder. “May I?”
Zipporah frowned, but handed the ladle to the princess. Celestia drank deep, letting out a small “mm” sound as she stared pointedly at the sapience. She made a show of licking her lips and got another scoop of the soup.
She held it out to the Sapience, who watched it closely. It took the ladle carefully and sniffed. With a shrug, the Sapience downed the mixture.
It came up for breath coughing and sputtering. Its ears and mouth sparkled as it dropped the scooper. “Ack!”
Everybody leaned close. Celestia bowed her head and looked the Sapience in the eyes. “Can you understand me, little one?”
The Sapience ducked down, its eyes wide. It made several popping sounds with its lips. “You… you can talk?”
“Typical,” Andean said. “If it isn’t speaking your language, it obviously can’t speak at all.”
“Well, well it’s just…” The Sapience held its hands out. “You’re all animals!”
Andean’s eyes narrowed. Izod plowed into the room, his hat bobbing on his head. “Now you take that back this minute! I think we can agree that we are all people here!” He turned to Seabreeze and Mangle, his hat tilting. “Some more important than others.”
“Ja, ja, ja.” Seabreeze fluttered up to the Sapience and hovered before its face. “Whoo are eyew? What are eyew? Where are eyew froom?”
The Sapience stepped back, her eyes wide. Celestia put a hoof between Seabreeze and his target. “Easy,” the princess said. She turned to the Sapience. “Perhaps it would be best to start with our names. I am Princess Celestia. What’s yours?”
“M-my name is Megan.” She squinted at the caldron. “What is that stuff?”
“Long ago, the peoples were one,” Zipporah said. “Language was shared beneath the sun. But pride and stubbornness tore us apart.” She glanced out of the room. “Though still divided, this brew is a start.”
She lifted a hoof and held it over the cauldron. “A temporary enchantment, it’ll last the week. It will make this language easier to speak.”
Megan’s eyes just about shot out of her skull. She pulled her blanket tighter around her shoulders and shuffled back. “Y-you cast a spell on me?”
Zipoorah frowned. “Yes.” She looked at Celestia. “Is it not best?”
Celestia sat on the ground. “What’s wrong with magic?”
“It… it’s witchcraft!” Megan gasped. “It’s all sacrificing to demons, and getting revenge, and horrible spirits!”
Izod whinnied. “The only ‘horrible spirits’ around here come from Mangle’s vineyard.”
The minotaur snorted, but held his tongue.
“You can rest easy, Megan.” Celestia chuckled. “This is not witchcraft. It is soup. It is medicine. Our magic comes from the heart and the mind, not from the abyss.”
“We had an issue with a necromancer ram a few years back,” Care mumbled to Applejack. “He was trying to summon a great lava demon from a volcano.”
Applejack lowered an eyebrow and stuck her bottom lip out. “How’d that go for him?”
“The ‘mighty lava demon’ turned out to be a sleeping dragon.” Care grinned. “He woke up grumpy and hungry (2).”
“Ew,” Shard said through the orb. “Some dragons have no taste.”
Scribble, scribble, scribble.
Megan bit her lip. “Where am I?”
“Beefland, homeland of minotaurs and cows,” Mangle said. “I’m President Mangle. You looked pretty roughed-up when we found you.”
“What can you tell us about how you found Beefland?” Celestia asked. “Do you know where you’re from in relation to here?”
“I was…” Megan took another step back from the cauldron. “My family and I were traveling across the Rocky Mountains. To get to the west, you see.”
Celestia caught Applejack’s eye. She raised an eyebrow. Applejack shrugged and shook her head. “Pardon me,” Celestia said. “What are the Rocky Mountains?”
“Um.” Megan followed Seabreeze with her eyes as he bobbed about her head. “They split the country in half? Kind of.”
Applejack stuck her head in the room. “What country?”
Megan looked to the door. “The United States.”
Celestia pursed her lips throughout the resulting silence. “There are more of you?”
Megan furrowed her brow. “Of course. All over the world.”
“What sort of weaponry do you have?” Andean asked.
“Andean, please!” Celestia snapped. She gave him a severe look. “We can worry about that later.”
He took one of his stones in each talon. “We can worry about it now.”
He threw the rocks straight up. They met at the toss’ apex of their own accord. They bounced against each other as they tumbled down to his waiting talon.
He smirked. “We should worry about it now.”
“Andean, please, you must settle down!” Zipporah said. “Lest you forget the wisdom I shared with the griffon crown.”
Andean growled with the sound of an angry bear. Megan dove behind a chair. The zebra standing beside Applejack and Care reached into a packet hanging from his side.
“Enough!” Celestia shouted. She shook her head. “There are far more important things to speak of right now.” She turned back to Megan. “Such as what brought you to Beefland.”
Megan wrapped herself deep within her blanket. “I don’t suppose Beefland is inside the Rockies?”
“I’m afraid not,” Celestia said. “The nearest mountains are in the griffon lands. Several kilometers away.”
“Griffon lands?” Megan closed her eyes and shook her head. “You all have countries, too?”
Applejack scrunched her face up. “This is gettin’ weird.”
“It’s getting interesting,” Shard said. “We might be talking long-range teleportation here.”
Scribble, scribble, scribble.
Celestia tilted her head. “Perhaps we can talk about it over a nice, calm”—she pointed her horn at Andean—“polite dinner?”
Megan blushed. “Um, may I ask you something?”
Celestia nodded.
“May I have some clothes?” Megan clutched the edges of her blanket. “Please?”
All eyes turned to Mangle. He blushed as his ears drooped.
“President Mangle,” Celestia said, “was Megan wearing clothes when you found her?”
“Um…” Mangle shrugged. “Yeah? Kinda? They were kinda raggy and burnt up. The docs had to take them off to clean her up. I guess we were gonna give her something, but…” He grinned in an unconvincing manner. “Guess it slipped our minds.”
Celestia sighed. “Megan, how often would you say you wear clothes?”
“All the time?” Megan mumbled.
“Nudity taboo?”
“Nude what?”
“It’s where it’s socially unacceptable to not wear clothes.”
“Illegal, actually.”
“Really?”
“Certainly.”
Mangle twiddled his thumbs. “Sorry. Sorry.”
“That’s okay,” Megan said carefully. “You… didn’t know, I suppose.”
“Shoulda brought Rarity on this trip,” Applejack said. “She always gets a kick out of designing around new body types.”
Care and Caution stood at attention beside the door as Celestia walked out. “Mangle,” the princess said, “would you mind making arrangements for a fitting?”
“Not at all, princess,” Mangle sighed. “No problem.”
Celestia looked back at Megan. “We’ll be locking the door, just as a precaution. To keep you safe.”
“Of course,” Megan said. She sat down and rubbed her knees. “Safe.”
Andean rose and beckoned his guards forward. “I suppose we’ll retire to prepare for the dinner.”
He scowled at Mangle. “We’ll be wanting that meat well cooked, President (3).”
“Sure, sure.” Mangle took a step back and swallowed. “Whatever you want.”
“Good.” Andean Ursagryph smiled at Celestia. “Good day, Princess.”
Once the griffons had walked away, everybody else breathed a sigh of relief.
“He’s got a way of gettin’ under yer skin, ah noticed,” Applejack said.
The zebra stallion spoke under his breath. “Do you refer to all of us, or just to your princess?”
Applejack scoffed. “Za’rapha, right?”
“Aye,” he said with a nod. “That name is mine.”
“Yeah.” Applejack leaned close. “Watch whatchya say ’bout the princess.”
Za’rapha squinted. “I mean no offence, please do not get tense.”
“Fine. Sorry.” Applejack shook her head. “An’ besides, ah meant me.”
As the leaders began to disperse, Applejack tapped Za’rapha on the shoulder. “By the way, why’s Andean got such a pain in the rear from you zebras?”
“Long ago he had a strange dream,” Za’rapha said. “He came to Zipporah and asked, ‘What does it mean?’”
Zipporah walked up to them, her knees creaking. She turned to Applejack with a frown. “He lives a life of anger and wrath. His death will be swift if he continues that path.” She placed a hoof on her chin. “His life will be ended, in the dream it was seen, by a frightened child whose heart is clean.”
“He found her prophesy not to his liking,” Za’rapha said. “I believe he found it more than a little frightening.”
“But I wouldn’t dare bring it up,” Aspen interrupted. He looked Applejack in the eye. “Leave it be. Trust me.”
Applejack turned her nose up. “What if it becomes important?”
Aspen saw Izod tipping over and sighed. “Leave it.” He raced over and caught the Lord of Lightninggale in the nick of time.
“In this case, Applejack,” Celestia said, “it may be best to take his advice.” She led Applejack forward with her wing. “I’ve been working on Andean for years, but he hasn’t budged.”
Shard’s eye hovered in the air, her scribble, scribble, scribble sounding off occasionally. Celestia smiled, lit her horn, and the orb vanished. “See you in a bit, Shardscale.”
Caution grinned. “Roight! Another foin day of not killin’ each other. Good start for the meetin’, it is, good start.”
I admit, I didn´t expect the human to be goddamn Megan.
So many things to talk about!
Well, first, to get rid of the splinter in my mind there's a minor grammar mistake early on:
With that out of the way, and in no particular order:
I see what you did there.
I've always kind of preferred the idea that Zecora came from Darkest Zebrica myself. I was also half-hoping that the Zebra ruler would speak in Haiku.
Kicks McGee is my new favourite leg.
Some rulers just don't GET subtlety, do they?
It figures the first HiE's name is Megan. Still, kudos on using a female HiE. They are depressingly rare.
Here's where I raise an eyebrow. Megan thought they weren't intelligent? They clearly made gestures to communicate with her, such as "come here," and while most of them are naked, she's still surrounded by bipedal tool-using minotaurs that brought her food, and an Alicorn wearing a golden crown and matching accessories (to say nothing of the donkey in a hat as big as his ego). By the time she's entertaining a fluttering fairy-pony with a danish accent, a dragon with a giant quill pen, and an Ursagryph with a wingspan that would make a pteradon feel inadequate, questioning that they can also talk should be the least of her issues.
I have mixed feelings about this. I'm not a fan of the idea that they just use a Comprehend Languages spell. On the one hoof, using magic saves some time so we can get the main plot going faster, but on the other, it also moves the focus away from all the zany hijinx a Language-Barrier can provide.
Wouldn't they already assume something like that? They've never seen a member of Megan's species before, so the idea that she came from somewhere nearby and knows about them when they don't know anything about her seems odd to me. Maybe they think she's been in hiding?
So, all together, there's some good, some bad, and interesting things on the horizon. I quite look forward to dinner.
4290680 Yeah. I wasn't expecting that either.
4290680
I believe that would be "THE gosh-darned Megan."
4290806
Thank you for that. I swear it seems like my "M" key misses every once in a while. aybe that's y fault.
It's actually a thing, kinda. I'm just a big copy-cat nerd.
I've considered Zebrica and Zebrabwe both. I ended up choosing Girafrica because I think I made it up and I think i'm terribly clever.
Zebras don't speak in Haiku, Gazelles do.
Mine, too, if only because it's easier to spell than Bucky McGillicuddy.
Andean doesn't find much use for finesse.
Credit where credit is due, and Megan was the first! Of course, back then it was called Ponyland and we had centaurs to fight, but credit where it's due.
It's a fair point. However, i'm keeping it the way it is because this is where Megan finds herself. She's dealing with her perceptions being messed with. I've known people who had something held in front of their face, but they didn't quite grasp it because "But that's wrong."
In addition, she didn't say they were unintelligent, she said that they were animals. Her perception of animals should come up later, since she has a few cultural barriers of her own. She's just a bit nervous and confused.
May I say, I utterly love this rundown of the cast? It's so spot-on it hurts.
Comprehend Languages Potion, actually. It's an off-shoot of the Fix a Chipped Tooth Potion.
Which is dangerously convenient, don't you think? Reeks of bad planning.
...
What if I promise that it's plot relevant in more than just a way to get the plot rolling?
Neither Discord nor the changelings' appearances were the result of a long-range teleport. Celestia knows that assumptions are dangerous things, so she was probably considering a little of everything. That's one reason why everyone's so eager to speak with her, you might say.
It's also really hard to imply that a character is assuming something without making them all sound like Izod--"Aha! I knew it was a long range teleport! I knew it all along!"--or making them sound clairvoyant--"Maybe she got here in a long-range teleport!" "Yeah! Wait, how'd you know-?" "The author told me, silly!"
Well, if I can't change your mind on the bad, maybe I can temper it with lots of good. I'm looking forward to dinner as well.
4290859
Hopefully it's a good surprise, as Pinkie Pie would say.
4291085 I am going to be honest. I am not sure yet. I have nothing really against it or her as a character but unless the story is portrayed as dark or darker than the gen 1 movie I have my reservations. Although with the prophecy of his death... It seems to be going in that sort of direction.
Not to say that I have lost interest or that you have lost my attention. I have been surprised before by stories I put off because I disagreed or felt off with their premise and in turn freakin' loved.
But I have learned to keep reading. The main reason we fall in love with a story is because it goes in to new territory in an unexpected way.
So in short. I am hoping it is the Pinkie type surprise that it is so far... No pressure.
4291085
I guess we should all be glad that King Andean isn't also a Predacon.
Bucky McGillicuddy is probably that lazy back leg that is always resting against it's neighbour.
Yes, Megan was indeed first, and gets credit where it's do. Also, remember to Call Upon the Sea Ponies, Shoo be doo, shoop shoo be doo.
You may, as it makes me feel all fuzzy inside. Although, it's a shame it doesn't include Applejack. She should be in there, but in comparison with everyone else, a southern earth pony mayor in a Stetson is kind of mundane... as weird as that sounds.
That's one of the problems with potion making. You get one ingredient off, and suddenly your Comprehend Languages Potion becomes a Potion of Rule 63 Polymorphing.
Then, I shall be watching with interest.
Good policy.
4291186
The story's rated Teen for a reason. It is not sunshine and faeries (though Celestia and Seabreeze come close) but it is humorous. Mostly.
In addition, Megan's a bit different than she was in the old cartoon. More on that in the future.
Good for you! It's not often I see someone willing to break out of that comfort zone.
As an author, I try not to dip into that point where a person second-guesses reading my story, but I know i'm not going to please everybody. That said, I hope you stick around for the whole ride!
HA! I work best under pressure!
4291242
Aw, that was gonna be the next big plot-twist! Now that you've ruined it, why bother?
Aaand I have a new headcanon.
"Shoo be doo," he said solemnly as bubbles poured out of his nose. "Shoop shoo be doo."
Nope, no I totally get where you're coming from. I actually chose her for this story for that very reason. She just mundane enough to highlight the weirdness.
Word of advice: DO NOT FORGET THE TRUFFLES! They are key.
Good, good. Give in to your interest. It gives you power, makes you more observant!
Thanks, it's not perfect but it's all I got.
Although, feel free to bring up any issues you see, if you want. It's a really big help in that it at least makes me think about your "eyebrow raising" moments with the story. And thus address them.
So is Andean some sort of immortal alicorn of the griffons, or just huge? Also, kind of getting a cool grand vizier vibe from Aspen.
4291473
Quick! You turn out the lights to distract the readers, I'll edit my comment to say he's really Optimus Prime in disguise. No one will ever know!
Well of COURSE, silly filly! How can you make Gypsy Stew without TRUFFLES? *digs in, starts speaking in tongues*
I don't know if you thought about this, but Applejack is also one of the original G1 ponies that was there during Megan's first appearance. With a Megan present (even an AU version), having an Applejack there just makes meta-textual sense.
Darth Pinkie would make an unconventional, but very scary, Sith Lord.
And with readers as nitpick-y as I am, you'll have lots to address.
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Good question. Keep it in mind!
He's a fun character to write for. Great as a straight man, great as a "behind the scenes" kinda guy.
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Um, um...
Look! It's the Wonderbolts!
Eh, Gypsy Stew without truffles just becomes Gypsy Soup, which isn't nearly as potent a--you know--"medicine."
I honestly didn't think of that until I posted this chapter. I wish I could have said "I totally planned that coincidence," but I have a bad case of honesty around Applejack.
"Witness the firepower of this fully-armed and operational Party Star!"
That sounds dangerously like a promise. Here's hoping there's not too much in the way of questionable narrative.
But in all seriousness, thanks!
4301334 Thanks. I don't mean Grand Vizier like evil, just like obviously SOMEONE has to really run the donkey country or it would have fallen apart with just Izod actually running things, and it looks like that individual is Aspen.
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It's a good bet, but I refrain from saying more due to getting close to spoiler territory.
Goddamnit, I was actually looking forward to this until it was revealed that this human is the infamous Megan that everybody and their mother wants to write in as a standard human.
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I knew I should have named her Anon...
She shares about as much with G1 Megan as Applejack shares with G1 Applejack. I realize that's not the most heroic defense I could put up, but there you have it.
And hey, thanks for giving the story a shot.
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"Anon" would arguably have been worse.
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Yes, I must agree with you there.
Crossing the Rocky Mountains with her family to get to the west? And instantly declaring magic to be witchcraft? I have a feeling that this Megan dates from the 1800's.
Celestia would be disappointed in me for having this opinion, but three cheers for that prophetic dream. Andean sounds like a terrible person to have as a country's head of state.
I am finding this story very entertaining. The dignitaries are quite enjoyable and they just keep getting more colorful as they bounce off one another.
I am looking forward to future updates.
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Sea Breeze, the Science Flea! Tune in to the Pony Broadcasting Service Thursday afternoons for your weekly dose of biology, physics, and other gibberish!
Long game or no, even Celestia might see this as a long shot.
Lovely weather we've been having where I live, what with the thunderstorms and the downed tree limbs. Sure thing, eeyup.
He's not a nice person, but he is sort of a product of his own society. More on that later.
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Awesome! I'm glad you're enjoying it! Interesting characters are one of the main focuses of this story, alongside the world-building. It's sort of a training course I've assigned myself.
Oh, wow. Where has this gem been hiding?
So far, it's just a great read. The new characters are quirky without being annoying, the situation has me really interested, and the old faces are written just on the ball. The fact that it's Megan of all people had me laughing. It's a great twist!
I'm kinda wondering if that's all the people coming, or a changeling or some other monstrous-type creature will come crashing the party.
All in all, you have my interests and my following. I'm eagerly awaiting further chapters.
Well, this story has got me interested enough to kindle the desire to be informed when it next updates. I shall be looking forward to it.
As an aside, the footnotes, I've found, are too much of a bother to bother doing the search-thing, I just read them all at the end. One possibility to reduce the clunk would be to just put them at the end of the relevant paragraph.
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It certainly hasn't been trying to hide! Lord knows I've been trying to be visible.
The trick there is to only use the quirk as the springboard for the character, not the whole character. Just something for readers to latch onto.
Unless that character is Izod. Then he's pretty much "The Quirk." Maybe.
Thanks, I thought so, too. A nice little nod to the original cartoon with a personal twist. It's... clearly a polarizing feature.
I'm pretty sure the story's gonna be complex enough with the cast it's got. Maybe.
Awesome! I hope to see you next update!
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I'm glad you're enjoying/intrigued by the story. Here's hoping that further updates keep that attention. I'm certainly going to try!
It's sensible, sure, but I didn't really like how it looked. I might be a little bit of a form-over-function guy at times. I dunno. This might end up being the only story I ever use footnotes for.
I particularly liked this detail. I take it you've watched condors?
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Thanks! Not condors specifically, so much as I have a general idea of how large birds take off and fly. A lot of it comes from biology class, and a lot of it comes from repeated viewings of The Rescuers Down Under.
What weapons do we have? Well... that conversation could last all day. Not to mention that in a war we end up inventing bigger better ones constantly! Just wait until they hear about nukes, or biological warfare, or supersonic fighter jets!
Well, Grogar's dead. That's one problem they won't encounter. Two, if the dragon was right about Grogar's music.
It would seem that Tirek doesn't face any competition from other G1 villains.
Discord already took care of the Smooze.
I have given Caution the voice of Phil Harding, of Time Team. That is all.
Well you're not wrong Caution.