Hy•per•por•ten•tia noun \hī-pər-pȯr-ˌten-t(ē-)ə\
1. congenital fate disorder where the affected receives a disproportionate number of visions, prophecies, or warnings of the future directed at them.
2. severe pain in the butt.
It's common knowledge among ponies that Destiny is a natural occurrence. Much like a pony’s body, it grows and develops over time. Each pony’s Destiny is as unique and distinctive as their voice. The phenomenon manifests in the physical realm through the appearance of a cutie mark.
Unfortunately, like all natural occurrences, sometimes there's something off. A misplaced gene here, an excess chemical there, and what was supposed to be true Destiny becomes... aggravating.
So it is with Acacia Tree, the first seer Manehattan has seen in five-hundred years.
The concept for this story was submitted to The Idea Exchange group by GreyNoise. This group is a place to share story ideas you want to see written, but for one reason or another will not write yourself. Check it out!
Fascinating. A great exploration of a little-considered aspect of pony magic, with engaging characters and the classic questions that come when prophecy and free will get in a head-on collision. Thank you for it.
Ehhubagewuh?
Saw this on the Idea Exchange. Liked and Faved.
She should move to Ponyville. There are fewer destinies there, and Twilight would have legitimate reason to hire her for a lot of money as an adviser.
Then again... She could see the destinies of the Bearers. That could drive her insane, if Pinkie does not help her adjust.
I'm loving this! Reminds me of the Discworld's Mrs. Cake, the small (verging on medium) who sometimes forgets to turn her precognition off. This story provides an engaging glimpse into what would happen if you constantly see the future. Liked and faved. (Found this through the Idea Exchange)
And yes, I saw what you did with the name.
Still a really well told story. I liked it. Good job.
4973331
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
People seem to be a little allergic to destiny around here, at least when it's not about a great evil that's gonna rise and eat Prance or something. And when they do write about it, it's almost always from Cassy's stance.
4974009
Destiny, prophecy, free will, collision, result?
The story in five words, for your enjoyment.
4974297
Considering where most of her predictions landed on the mundane<<<>>>life-changing scale, I'd think twice before getting her as an adviser. Ponyville would be a nice place to calm down, though!
Pinkie knows all about random predictions. I think they'd get along famously up to the point Pinkie freaks Cassy out.
4974356
That's hilarious, and another reminder to read more Pratchett.
Thanks!
4974571
Actually, while I did name her after the Greek figure Cassandra, I didn't know about Cassandra's Tears until after I googled them. Great minds think alike, I guess.
Thank you for the compliment!
4974912 Lease I could do.
Funny, I was just thinking of how one of my characters could fight destiny right before I read this. Guess it was my destiny to read this then.
May I just say to everyone reading that MyHobby is an amazing author and this is more than I could have ever expected when I threw my brain garbage at the Idea Exchange. Thank you so much for making this happen.
4974356 I just realized that Equestria HAS a Mrs. Cake, and she lives with an actual medium. Awesome.
This story is cute, I can't help wondering if that golden hoof was actually aimed at Ritzy and Cassy, and that anonymous stallion was just seeing what he wanted to see.
I like that "hyperportentia" is an extremely rare congenital fate disorder, because that implies there are other, more common fate disorders, and I want to see more of them. Do the CMC have developmentally - delayed fate disorder?
I wonder if there is physical therapy for fate disorders. Maybe a 6 month regimen of questing and becoming a chosen one, to get one's destiny gland back on track?
Since only ponies have cutie marks, are they the only ones guided by fate? Do other species, in times of great crisis, have pony heroes show up and save the day, since they are hogging all the destiny?
4975887
General bullheadedness works wonders for the free will.
4976080
Thank you for the compliment. I'll work hard to live up to it.
"Brain garbage" is a little harsh, I think, considering what you actually had was a pearl of an idea.
4978098
I was just thinking that myself.
Let the shipping begin!
Fate disorders will become incrementally more common as the Destiny and/or Talent becomes more common, as far as this particular story is concerned. You have far more gardeners growing entire plots of giant dandelions than you have architects who can design real-life Escher paintings. Either way, the population of ponies with fate disorders is less than one percent.
Do you suppose Equestria has some sort of five-step plan to becoming the (a) chosen one?
Have you (circle one):
a. Had your hometown burned
b. Lost your father tragically
c. Discovered a forbidden artifact
d. All of the above
Zecora might have a cutie mark, or it might be a tattoo from her bad-girl days. The jury's out on that one.
4987985
I bet there were a bunch of other stallions and mares on first dates in that restaurant, kicking themselves for not being as quick on their hooves. "You can't argue with a giant golden hoof, baby; pucker up!"
I'm not really sure what you mean here, but it sounds intriguing.
"Oh, so you're from Ponyville then?"
C'mon, we both know who the token Zebra in Cheerilee's rap crew was (Hint: It wasn't the Notorious M.A.C., the thunderous bass beatboxing machine). Before they were forced into retirement after losing a furious rap battle to Ponyville's then - upstart Pinkamizzle Diane Pizzle (Now known as Ponyville's undisputed rap queen and Wonderbolts history buff Flava Delicious), Each member of "DJ Teach's" crew had to get a tat. Zecora has those marks on her flank for the same reason Cheerilee no longer has her cutie mark that actually represents teaching (daisies are an obscure Earth Pony gang sign), and Big Mac can never remove his yoke in polite company.
4988183
One possibility for disorders in a gardener Destiny is only being able to grow weeds, or to have their gardens sprout out of control. One possibility for architectural disorders is instead of designing the best possible structure, designing the best impossible structure.
Are you sure you don't wanna write a story? 'Cause I think I would read the ever-loving heck out of that story. It could be about the crusaders discovering Big Mac's hidden, shameful past.
Then you could end it with the crew getting back together and joining forces with Flava Delicious to defeat the evil rap hoodlum Ti-Reked. Oh yes.
Flava Delicious is best rapper.
Stay in school, kids.
Though seriously, everybody tells me they're poison.
5003610
You THINK Flava Delicious is some kind of role model, but how many times do they catch her snorting pixie sticks before they stage an intervention? (Can you imagine poor Pinkie if they actually sold that kind of pure powdered sugar in Equestria as a snack?
Brutal)
Wrong kind of 80s music. I think you're referencing Roseluck's Mane-metal group, and her signature song explaining how tough it is to be an Earth Pony gardener using her teeth to pluck flowers, since every Rose has its Thorns.
Vry intriguingly done. Bravo. I wouldn't mind seeing more of these guys, either before or after this revelation.
5754408
Thank you! I've thought about it occasionally. A pony with Hyperportentia could make for a real neat addition to, say, a fun adventure story. If I think up another interesting moment in the life of Acacia Tree, I'll do my best to make it a good story.
Fan-fucking-tastic! :D
6375027
Thank you for the kind words and, dare I say, free publicity! This story still brings a smile to my face when I read it, and to know others enjoy it is amazing.
I'm here thanks to PresentPerfect's fic recommendations post, and I want to say that it's a tremendous shame that stories this undeniably readable are just lying around Fimfic with only a few hundred views and 33 likes.
i see you've done quite a few stories.
maybe you can help me.
Aight, faving, liking, and following. Quite amazing.
4987985
Tempest: "C. Do constant accidental storms count for A?"
I couldn't see this premise being handled any better. Take a fav and a thumbs up - this was super awesome!
Also, the whole fortune cookie thing reminded me of a 99% invisible episode 182- A Sweet Surprise Awaits You. Reminding me of something else I like is always a delight in a story. Thank you for writing this and congrats on getting into the RCL.
This is good enough that I wouldn't mind seeing these characters again, like that Dotted Line guy from those bureaucracy stories.
This was a lovely story. I'm sorry I put off reading this for so long; it was well worth my time. The prophecies were fun, and the story was whimsically amusing and did a great job of delivering its message.
4978098
If that's an actual reference, that's pretty freaking sly.
7908058
Thank you for the compliments! These characters were a joy to write, the type you can really just let loose to bounce against each other for a while. Whimsy is really Ritz's M.O.
I was always concerned about the message. I wanted the story to have a point, but I certainly didn't want it to be a lecture. This is probably the first thing I've ever written that actually has a blatant "this is what the story is about" line. Even now I look at it and feel a little uneasy, but heck if it doesn't close the story with a bang!
I reviewed this story as part of Read It Later Reviews #66.
My review can be found here.
Okay...I'm going to regret this...but I just gotta ask...how the hay do you make an obscene gesture with a hoof?
That said, wonderful little story, and excellent little exploration of the nature of destiny.
7922828
Actually, I have an answer. This video, at 2:57, showcased Fluttershy doing exactly that!
It's tamer than you might think, but this is MLP.
She's mighty peeved.
Thank you very much. I'm happy you enjoyed yourself.
7925220
*watches video* Hmm. Well, I suppose one could look at it like that. Personally, I had just taken it to be a "shake your fist" sort of motion, which isn't necessarily obscene...I could buy that it might be considered more obscene in Equestrian culture, but the reaction for this and other instances where such a motion is made doesn't seem to match that...
Ah well, it doesn't really matter, because it's still a fun story and that's what really matters in this instance.
Excellent name selection for an excellent story. Every little piece of this story was a joy to read. The characters were vibrant and the message solid.
Did... did you name him Ritz just for that line?
Sorry; that's not really evil. It's cunning at best.
Because I'm kind of a jerk, instead of going on about how good it is blah blah blah I'll mention a few specifics that collectively add up to an issue I have with it: it keeps throwing things in that you apparently meant as incidental spice, but seemed to me like flashing "WARNING: grimdark alt-universe ahead" signs. Take the mention of the dam:
That read to me as, "Ominous prophecy is misinterpreted optimistically by a bystander; dam will break in 20 minutes." So it horked the next thousand words for me bcoz I was waiting for the dam to break.
There are a large number of such points which seem like dark omens and/or make major additions to canon, each time hinting that this is an alt-universe and/or dark story: the mysterious instantenously-biodegrading newspaper, the hint that the dam is going to break and kill thousands of ponies (I'm also confused about having a dam in Manehattan, which is an island at sea level), the very ominous-sounding Hollow Shades (which is brought up as an ominous, magical area that is inaccessible even by airship, and then suddenly Ritz and Acacia are in it, I think, with just a scene break and no idea how they got there), and most of all the mysterious hoof that appears in the air and writes on the wall. (The handwriting on the wall trope comes from Daniel chapter 5, and it's an omen of death.) This stuff screams DARK ALT UNIVERSE!!!, in caps, with the exclamation marks, and then fades out of view without another mention.
The mysterious hoof can't be a vision of Acacia's, because if it involves her, it's addressed to Ritz instead of to her... so it's Ritz's vision... this is a major canon-breaking, splitting-off-an-alt-universe event and it's apparently just thrown in for background flavor, and ends up being a distraction at best because we can't even figure out why it manifests or whom it's addressed to.
Also, hey, I'm the 1000th viewer!
Unfortunately, having 1000 views makes you ineligible for a Seattle's Angels review.
Unless I say "pretty please."
I hate saying "pretty please."
Bother.
8024439
I'm half-convinced I wrote the entire story for that line.
Which is less cunning and more cockamamie, and slightly concerning, but I take what I can get.
Noooo, darn it, I thought the signs were so well-hidden!
Truth be told, though, I do have a bad habit of tainting the light and fluffy with the sad and dreary. There's no sunny day I cannot darken with a raincloud. Even if it's mere background unease.
Made of 200% post-consumer product, utilizing antimatter in order to cram that much garbage into the newspaper. The true secret behind the instapulp paper is that it's easier to use as toiletry tissue that way. Yes, you too can blow your nose with Princess Celestia's visage, for a quarter-bit a roll. Many moms use the paper as makeshift diapers for their foals, though they regret it an instant later when the news simply disintegrates from their baby's bottom.
I like toilet humor for it's high-brow classiness.
The entire story is pointless, because moments after Cassy has her eureka moment, she and Ritz are swept away to the sea, proving that destiny has a cruel, sick sense of humor.
In all honesty, I'm surprised you didn't know that the ocean around Manehattan is made completely of acid, in order to keep their buildings shiny. No drinking water there. Polishes the bones of hapless fisherponies quite nicely. They're forced to keep their water in a cloud reservoir, known as the Wonder Dome, that continually floats overhead like some fell dirigible, or some sort of atmospheric star destroyer, or a vast predatory bird. Nobody thought this was a bad idea.
Teleportation. Space is warped and time is bendable. Resistance is friendship.
It's a cruel little town in the middle of the Everfree Forest, where such atrocities as cannibalism, Tirek worship, and wearing plaid with stripes are daily occurrences. The Hydra, the Chimera, Ahuizotl and Harshwhinny call it home.
Death in this case meaning a more metaphorical sort of life-ending event. The stallion soon had to give up his dreams of being a runway model when he had to support his new wife and their thirteen children with a job fishing on the Acid Sea. The results of that... well, he's boned.
So, yeah, metaphorical and literal. I'd expect nothing less from the
HandHoof of [Pony]God.It gets worse. The owner of the Chow Mane is senile, bordering on dementia, and will soon spiral the business into bankruptcy. Cassy will be out of a job for the thirteen seconds it takes for the Death Reservoir to hit her. Ritz will live long enough to gaze longingly at the bowler hat one last time. Bubble Dancer alone will survive, to become a lone pony living off old convenience stores and her dead neighbors' houses in a post-apocalyptic Manehattan.
Years later, she'll be found by Celestia's rescue operation and will film a Pony News Network original series called "Sad Sacks: Beyond Wonder Dome."
On the other hand, maybe you fell asleep around the 3,000 word mark...
Curses! I'm too obscure to be mainstream, and too mainstream to be obscure! I'm middle-class FimFic, and it's flippin' tax season!
Besides, you're Bad Horse. You don't say please, you demand the world bows to your whims. It's the benefit of being sadistically yet charismatically evil.
8027958 Good news! Turns out the limit is "no more than 1000 views."
Bad news! You now have 1007 views.
Good news! I put in my recommendation when you had 1000 views.
Bad news! They have no way of knowing that.
Good news! They have
complete faith in meno reason not to trust mesecrets they don't want revealed!8028268
Isn't it wonderful how blackmail keeps people together under your tyrannical rule?
Thank you for that. I appreciate it.
8028268
I was sent here by Bad Horse. I really like this story.
One of the reasons I read fanfiction is because you often find in it a certain vivacity, a liveliness, that is missing in both genre fiction and literary fiction these days (they're both very by-the-numbers, just by different numbers). When you find it, you are prepared to forgive quite a lot--plot holes, clunky dialog, bad grammar, even occasional bafflement. It is the price of dealing with the amateur, one who does as they do for the love of doing it.
Here I find that vivacity--but nothing that needs forgiving. There is in it hands that can grasp, eyes that can dilate, hair that can rise if it must. Yet prose and dialog, plot and characterization all proceed with the grace of, say, a good waiter, who never draws attention to himself so you can appreciate the feast moving before you.
Bad Horse says the various gags with which you ornament the narrative amount to misdirection. I did not find them so, but if they were--isn't misdirection a vital part of any performance?
Anyway, thank you for writing this story and for sharing it with us, and thank you, Bad Horse, for directing me to it.
prophecy. Prophesy is the verb form.
This was an utterly lovely little story.
8032915
I find myself much in agreement about fanfiction. There's less of a need to be marketable, because you already have your market, so one is free to do as they wish, to write how they would most like to, to create the truly unique, to break conventions.
It makes the patrons who actually take the time to notice the server all the more delightful.
Thank you.
Well, misdirection must also serve a purpose. Since I never intended for these things to direct you away from anything, I couldn't count them as misdirection. They really were meant to be clever asides, references to prophecy, and general good fun.
So I suppose all I can hope is that they aren't distracting to everybody.
8041110
Thank you for the compliment and correction. I'll be sure to fix that post-haste.
Hello! Going through my older reviews and correcting omissions where I forgot to add deserved favourites. This is one story where that applies. As I said in last year's review, it has a sparkling, fast-paced appeal not dissimilar to those mid-20th-century New York City films. As such, it fits Manehatten very well.