If Twilight Sparkle had her way, she would never use the dark magic of King Sombra again.
Fate is not her friend. A new discovery in the Frozen Wastes outside the Crystal Empire has drawn her into a new adventure. When King Sombra returns to claim the throne of not just the Empire, but Equestria itself, Twilight is tested to her fullest.
Spike finds himself in the middle of a growth spurt. Rainbow Dash is missing. Pinkie Pie, Applejack, and Fluttershy are being pursued by timberwolves. All across Equestria, Sombra’s influence is felt.
The solution to Twilight’s problem may be found in Equestria’s history, if that doesn't just open up a tide of new issues. Can even the Elements of Harmony stop Sombra this time?
Prequel/Side Story: Fathers
Chapters (36)
That is AWESOME! Sombra really didn't get a chance to be evil in the show and I think this will be perfect!
1870396
You may enjoy this next chapter...
ese titulo
Twiligth saprkle, TWiligth sparkle TWIligth saprkle, TWILIGTH SAPAAARRRKLE, why i am thinking of sponge bob i don't even know.
You're not planning on making a soundtrack for this, are you? Because if you are, that'd be awesome.
1938474
Took me weeks to think it up, glad you noticed it.
Interesting factoid: The title is in Italian, due to the word "Sonata's" origin.
1938574
Who lives in a Library, Happy and free?
She's nerdy, adorable, scholarly, see?
If Ponyville awesome is something you need,
Then pull up my fic, be enjoyin' yer read!
1939087
Oh, I wish!
It is a dream of mine, but i'd need to get a crew together. Singers, musicians, the whole bowl of wax.
I'm no Daniel Ingram, sad to say.
1939233
uh
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Twiiiiiiliigggt sparkle!
Wow, King Sombra needs to get a better intelligence network. There's only one individual who would know where the Alicorn Amulet is (Zecora), and the Diamond Dogs chose to interrogate Rarity solely because they had an axe to grind. That is, unless Sombra has other plans for the Element of Generosity, which I wouldn't put out of the range of possibility.
I do like the explanation of how Spike keeps himself in check since his little birthday adventure. It actually makes sense, when you think about it.
Not much to comment on about the second half with Cranky's home movie, except that I'm as curious as Pinkie is as to what the heck King Sombra is doing in that film.
1976685
At the risk of being spoilery, Sombra's intelligence relies mostly on common knowledge. Equestria hears about something weird going on in Ponyville, the Main Six are involved, the words "Alicorn Amulet" are thrown around...
It'll be touched on, trust me.
Yeah, not too plot intensive. My reason for including the scene is more meta than anything.
Anything else I say will most certainly be spoilers.
Thanks for the great comment! It's so cool to see someone caring enough about the story to really think about it.
(Comments like that also tend to keep me internally consistent, veeeery important...)
Okay, not to harp on this point, but do you at least have sheet music written down, or is this all in your head? I'm just curious, because these songs seem to play more and more of a role in setting the mood for the story, and without a soundtrack, the audience may be kinda lost. Don't get me wrong, this story is still fantastic, and I get that you don't have the same clout as Daniel Ingram or other composers. I'm just saying that this is a pretty difficult undertaking, writing a musical with no music.
On a lighter note, you shouldn't sell yourself short with Spike's battle with the Diamond Dogs. I absolutely love the direction you decided to go with Spike's character, obvious Hulk jokes aside. You managed to build it up properly in the previous chapter, so it didn't feel like it came out of nowhere, and it just shows how devoted he is to Rarity. Major kudos.
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First of all, pun intended?
As dangerous as it is to say it, it's in my head, written with a specific beat or rhythm in mind. I have no experience in writing music, I don't play instruments, I don't know what those little notes mean in the notebooks... I can just keep a steady beat and maybe sing.
I could sing the songs, do a little recording magic and post the soundtrack to Youtube. But I felt it would loose significant impact if a male twenty-something was singing Pinkie Pie's lines. Maybe.
That said, I have to thank you, Metool Bard. You have inspired me to actually get up off offa that thang and make a soundtrack. I'm gonna sing, I'm gonna search for a program to make me a one-pony band, i'm gonna do this.
I'm actually gonna do this.
You rock.
Well, thanks for the vote of confidence. And the inspiration. Though i'm not a composer yet.
And you're right, a musical without music is just an al. That's not at all interesting.
Thank you! I just know a derivative when I see it. I like to let other people toot my horn, I sound like a darn fool when I say anything.
2039051 Wow. Heh. I, really don't know what to say other than, well, wow. I'm glad I was able to inspire you.
I have to say, your insight into griffon/pony relations is very compelling and intriguing. And considering Rainbow Dash used to be friends with a griffon, I felt her reaction to Martial's comment was spot on. Although, I will say that ponies lack the proper jaws to eat meat anyway, so you might want to take that into account.
Also, I would say that the Crystal Empire is technically part of Equestria (please don't get me started on the whole "I don't think that word means what you think it means" thing), but I can see how that can be debated. Otherwise, very nice work on this chapter. I'm definitely looking forward to more.
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Dash is so much fun to write, I gotta say. I absolutely love her lovable 'tude.
She's one of those character that writes herself, you know what I mean?
One of the absolute weirdest things that i've learned about horses is that they can survive on meat. In the desert, where there's no other food.
Not ideal, no, but when all you have is a hammer... You eat the hammer.
I totally agree! I still have no idea where "empire" comes into the deal. More like The Crystal Protectorate.
Still, different regions have different wildlife, or are supposed to.
I think of the CE as sort of the Madagascar to the Equestrian Continent's Africa: connected, but very, very foreign in most aspects.
Oh ho ho, me too.
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Huh. I did not know that.
Well, you learn something new every day, I suppose.
Hmm. The griffon history and culture is still compelling, but I'm not sure what it's building up to, if anything. The story about Moshe the Hippogriff just seems to come out of nowhere, and the only relationship with Sombra is how they were both slavers. I mean, if you have plans for this later, that's great (wonderful, even). I'm just confused as to what those plans might be.
Also, where did that heavy weight come from, and why didn't anyone else see it? If it was an invisible force that hit Twilight (or something unseen), then I would probably reword that. Otherwise, great cliffhanger. I'm certainly looking forward to more.
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Which will be handled at a later date/chapter/thing.
I've revised the conversation to be a little more clear that Moshe wasn't the slaver. One word and two commas make a world of difference.
To be as fair with you as you are with me, I have a problem with "too much info" and "keep it stupid, simple."
Yes, it's leading up to something, something coolish and fun.
Maaaybe it could have waited. Que sera sera.
A: The audience only know what Twi knows.
B: No one followed them into he room, yet, as indicated just before the second-to-last break.
Your thoughts are much appreciated!
I guess it's true what they say: If you want something done, you have to do it yourself. I figured Sombra would take matters into his own hooves once he learned about how badly the Diamond Dogs botched things.
On another note, the way Dusty Shelves was stuttering and stammering all the time, I thought his attitude should've raised more eyebrows. I get that he's scared out of his wits of King Sombra, but either have the others notice or give him a better poker face. They don't even have to pry; they can just think something's wrong and refrain from saying so just to be polite.
I honestly don't find the perspective jumps to be all that jarring. You present them in a way that makes sense, and it keeps the story flowing from scene to scene. But, maybe that's just me.
2138477
Aw, really, you're making me blush!
His attitude raised a few eyebrows, particularly from Applejack and Spike, but most of his actions? Not quite as much.
For reasons in the new chapter.
2163343 Ah. So he's always had that stutter. Well played.
I find that authors are usually their own harshest critics. This chapter was simply delightful, with a lot of great action and suspense. My only complaint would have to be be that Dusty Shelves' backstory could use some polishing. At the Summer Sun Celebration, he knew that Twilight was staying at his library and sharing his space. Why, then, did he automatically jump to the conclusion of being replaced when he emerged from the Everfree Forest? Simply because he went missing for a few days? The only reason he would think that is if he had been declared dead, which really doesn't seem to be the case judging by how he mistakes Twilight's housewarming gift for his own (at least I think that's what happened, it's not abundantly clear).
I get that you want to make him appear mentally unstable, and I'm all in favor of that if that's the direction you want to go in with his character. But there's a difference between being mentally unstable and just being irrational and stupid. I'd say all you have to do is tweak that part a bit, and you have yourself a wonderful chapter.
When I read Stonwall's dialogue, I hear Jennifer Hale's voice.
It kinda fits for me. I'm loving this story, man. Keep it up.
MOOSTASHES 4 U!
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Heh, not to seem like i'm a fan panderer, but i'm gonna take your advice into consideration.
Heck with consideration, i'm gonna just take the advice.
Dusty's backstory is too important for a "That's stupid, but I guess it's good enough;" no, he requires a good story to back his character.
So i've been taking some time to rewrite/expand on that particularly unclear passage, thanks for your watchful eye.
You know, if this keeps up i'm gonna have to credit you as some sort of post-pre-reader.
2176426
Say, Jennifer Hale's voice is kinda perfect!
I'd say she should do one of her older, hardened military kinda voices.
You should get her on the line and tell her i'll negotiate hours if she's willing to work for free.
Ah, the moustaches, I adore them! Thank ye!
I hope you keep finding reasons to enjoy my story!
2184488 Hey, if you feel that my advice will help your story, then by all means use it. I wouldn't really call it fan pandering (although I can see how it might be misconstrued as such). It's just a matter of being able to take constructive criticism, whether you agree or disagree with the critic.
Although actually, the post-pre-reader title might be a bit more accurate than you think. I find myself doing a lot of post production with my own stories, mainly because I write things in real time rather than in advance, if that makes any sense.
2184622
I suppose you're right, seeing how many comments i've either responded to with "Yeah, no biggy," or "wait and see."
And this story really is my baby, if you get what i'm sayin', I want it to be the best it can be. That does include taking criticism and dissecting it into little itty-bitty pieces!
Yeah, I geddit. Writewritewrite POST!
*Ack! Errors!* 
Correctcorrectcorrect SAVE! 
Honestly, I've been writing this in near-real time, too. Makes for an interesting editing process.
Spike is the Hulk!
Wow. Just, wow.
I did not see this coming, and yet it really didn't feel forced in the slightest. That's, quite impressive. I especially love how you captured Rainbow's fear and surprise at this turn of events, as well as her loyalty to her friends. I am really interested to see where you go with this.
Oh, Lyra is usefull.
2248494
Welcome to the show, enjoy your stay, have some popcorn...
Just a little.
2249921
Just this once.
Though really, she hasn't been all that bad, she just hasn't been given much of an opportunity to show off her actual skills.
2249208
Good, good, i'm so glad I have the capacity to surprise!
It really does help if you take a few days to rewrite what you've written, flesh out this scene or that... Etc.
Wish i'd realized that when I was writing Dusty's little day in the limelight.
We're going far, I can tell you that. Right across the sea.
I believe you mean bowls. Otherwise, eww (and considering the following lyrics, double eww
).
Other than that, wow. What a great climax for this first movement. Even without the musical accompaniment, I could just feel how bombastic and intense it was. Nicely done, and I look forward to the second movement.
Also, let me just add that making Blueblood a cowardly turncoat was a stroke of genius.
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In seriousness, though, you are correct. I did mean bowls. That's a little embarrassing.
Bombastic has got to be the most splendorous word in the English Language. Huzzah, sah.
Yeeeaaahhh.... Not to be continually contrariwise, but i'd appreciate it if you took a moment to read through these portions of text again:
Blueblood bent down, his horn touching the base of the throne. With a sudden flurry of movement, the unicorn tossed the scroll into the air, blinding Sombra. When the king had torn the parchment apart, he saw what Blueblood had concealed beneath the paper. The evil unicorn came face-to-face with Philomena, the royal pet phoenix.
His scream was overpowered by Blueblood’s shout. “Everypony, run while you can!”
The stallion saw Blueblood leading a group of soldiers out of the castle, pursued by the inky black monster that had controlled him for so long.
This wouldn't have mattered much, except Bluey's gonna be mentioned in the next chapter in a way that will make not a lick of sense if you see him as a traitor.
I have a slightly different path in mind for the Blood of Blue.
I have got to work on making myself clear the first time around.
2281803
Okay, I stand corrected. And yet at the same time, I don't take back what I said. The way you handled Blueblood is still a stroke of genius. Just, not in the way I thought it was.
So, Rainbow's heading to the griffon homeland, huh? This ought to be good.
Though why they're traveling by sea instead of in an airship, I have no idea.
Meh, it's your story. 
A solid start for the second movement. I'm excited to see what's in store for our heroes and heroines.
2301391
I hope so, I've spent too much time on pony-griffon relations to stop now!
A. Airships are mostly (except for a single background event) fanon. Fanon is something I either like to play with, or disregard.
B. Everypony and their brother uses airships in their stories. Everybody. I love it, it's awesome, but it's everywhere!
C. Cooler scene: 100 foot waves crashing down on the ship, or a peaceful day above the clouds?
D. Griffons in airships: a bit excessive?
Thank ye, sirrah.
A very touching montage. I'm having difficulty choosing my favorite in terms of farewells.
Though I don't know if Pinkie's protests to Mayor Mare's speech fit her character. I don't know, it sounded more like something Applejack would say.
I also love how this subversion of expectations with Blueblood's character is affecting everypony else. It's hard to believe, but the way things are, I don't think they're complaining.
2344232
Eeeexcellent!
Emotional response extracted.
That's a good point, but i think i'm OK with it for now. The downfall of the dialogue is that, taken by itself, I wouldn't be able to guess which pony was saying it. It's bit generic.
Pinkie's a real passionate soul, even when she's not breaking the fourth wall (which she will not be doing much of in this fic, I'm sad to say). If I ever did change something in this chapter, it would be to emphasize how the pink pony is feeling during the speech.
Which I may do, at some point. Hmm.
Not yet.
Huh. So this is what you meant by the romance. Kinda one-sided, isn't it?
That aside, I have to say it's intriguing that you chose to make Luna and Sombra an item. I will watch where you go with this with great interest.
Also, I wouldn't be surprised if smashing Discord's statue didn't harm him at all. After all, it's Discord. It makes sense for him not to make sense.
King Sombra is awesome and the way you write him sir or madam you truly breath life of a true monster into him. The whole Luna and Sombra romance was a shock, keep up the great work! I look forward to the new chapters of this story!
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Yyyes, and no. This by itself wouldn't need the tag, but there's romance that isn't dead, nor a thousand years old, coming soonish. Just generally speaking.
Oh, yes. Very much so.
But what makes more sense? For him to not be dead, or for him to have survived?
Be sure that the opposite of whatever makes more sense is the truth!
2373569
"MyHobby," "Dude," or "Your Excellency" will do just fine.
Sombra's an interesting character to write, for sure. Mostly, i've had to decide just how evil to make him.
As you can see, I decided to go for broke.
As I stated above, it's shocking, but not out of nowhere...
I'm glad you're enjoying it!
And thanks to all! It does me good to get feedback!
Dabbling in a bit of meta humor, are we?
I really wanted to hug Twilight in this chapter. I really feel bad for her, especially since that accursed Sombra is lying through his teeth. Stay strong, Twi. Celestia knows everypony else is.
Also, quite a shame that the griffons don't know of the awesomeness that is Daring Do. Which is odd when you think about it, seeing as the second book of the series is entitled The Griffon's Goblet.
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Weeeell...
It's not the first time.
(I'm extremely tempted to give Hobby Horse a part in one of my stories, but he'd end up being a blatant Marty Stu. Famous author, millions of fans, funny as all-get-out...)
I'm sure just about everypony wants to hug Twilight at this point. Take a number and get in line.
Hmm, about Sombra and lying...
The elements are on the run from Timberwolves,
Celestia and Luna lie defeated,
He has a thousand years of Magic Studies under his belt,
At which point was he lying?
Well, Martial Paw is a fan, at least.
And really, one office library should not be indicative of an entire population's literary preference.
That said, there's a different reason that griffons may not have heard of Daring Do... But that's spoilers for another time.
2412337
Rereading that section, all I have to say is this:
Touché.
The windigos are a myth? I thought they'd be an integral part of Equestrian history, considering they were part of its founding.
All things considering, that's a minor nitpick. Your fic, your canon.
Otherwise, this was a very intense action scene. I especially loved how Fluttershy used her Stare to force the Timberwolf into submission. I guess even golems can't resist her disapproving eyes. Nicely done, and I eagerly await more.
2505637
Yeah, they are probably really technically historically recognized as real in canon.
However...
But in all seriousness, i'm gonna do my best to slip my "headcanon: into this Gently. Expect a few slower chapters to catch up on key concepts in the future.
Timberwolves: Not truly alive, beings of instinct.
So I figured, what's everyone's instinct when they see Fluttershy's Stare?
Too often do I see Fluttershy left out of adventures.
You and
1615 other people!Oh, yes. Very much so.
You've really set up a good contrast between the societies of Equestria and the Griffon Kingdom. I felt that RD's reactions were spot-on, as well.
Although, I have to say, I would've never pictured Shining Armor as a worrywart. Then again, his sister probably means a lot to him.
On a final note:
Just you wait, Twilight. Once this adventure is over and you get back to your canon routine, that "bunch of gibberish" is gonna be your key to unexpected success.
Horseapples!
Now, correction of gramatic:
Won't be "Lyra"?
2560974
Success!!! I do enjoy it when other people think my good ideas are actually good.
The griffons are very different in many ways, and alike in many more. Hoo, hoo, hoo!
Any big bro worth a hill of beans would be worried sick about his sister after all Twilight's been through. It doesn't mean that the worry is warranted, it just means that he should worry.
Back to canon?
Have you not read the semi-official tag line?
It's not just hype, if I may be so bold.
Yeah, maybe a little cliche, but cliches aren't bad in themselves...
2562240
Big, stinking, green horseapples, if I do say so myself.
Immediate fix!
I knew Discord wouldn't be that easy to destroy.
Interesting headcanon on making King Sombra the son of Princess Platinum. I have to wonder where you'll go with this.
The scene with Fluttershy and Big Mac and the scene with Applejack and Pinkie were both very touching. Fluttershy's kindness really shined through when she protected Dusty Shelves from Big Mac's wrath, and Applejack's frustration just, made me want to hug her.
I will say that Pinkie has an interesting perspective on death and the afterlife. Kinda like a more adult version of Regina Berry from Phoenix Wright.
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I'm not one to waste a good character, perhaps a bit to my detriment at times. This story already has a cast herd.
This is pretty much Fluttershy's big time to shine as a whole (Not just this scene, but this upcoming sequence). In terms of the plot, it's one of my favorite parts.
Hmm, I seem to have a habit of making ponies extremely huggable, don't I?
Ha! I think it's ironic for Pinkie to be more adult than anybody at anything. Which makes for a nice, subtle bit of meta-humor, now that I think of it.
*One bit of research later*
I'd say that unlike Regina, Pinkie's perspective does not come from naivete, but from her outlook on life as a whole. A holistic approach, if you will. One that Applejack doesn't quite share.
For the record, having Sombra screw himself over by paving the way for the windigoes is very clever.
Just like last chapter, Fluttershy's kindness really shines through here. Although reaching out to Dusty Shelves while he keeps pushing her away might get a bit frustrating after a while. I, also think I'm starting to see where the Romance tag is coming in with Fluttershy and Big Mac's interactions.
And it seems that Doc Jigawatt doesn't approve in the slightest. To be honest, that threw me for a loop for a sec, but by the same token, I can picture Fluttershy having an overprotective father.
And it seems that Blueblood is still as stuck up as ever, even when fighting for the safety of Equestria. Figures. Although he does show some genuine leadership here, so it kinda balances out.