• Member Since 20th May, 2012
  • offline last seen Aug 29th, 2018

Chelis


Writer/Admin/Title VII requirement for Horse News; humanized/equestria girls fanfic writer. Pardon my grit

T
Source

Hi. My name is Sunset Shimmer, and this is the story about how I became a raging she-demon...
...Again.

With the flow of magic between Equestria and the world that Sunset Shimmer calls home now permanent, the once magicless pony regains her abilities, and uses it fully to fulfill her wishes and desires.

As Sunset juggles school, a social life, and trying to keep the forces of evil at bay, she soon realizes that the pressures of all three while concealing her secret for her own safety can bear down on a girl.

Sometimes, it can even break them.

Editors and Proofreaders:
RK_Striker_JK_5
Nopony_Important
DustyPwny

Chapters (40)
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Comments ( 185 )

so, Sunset Shimmer as a DC superhero?

Looks like a story with promise.

AWESOME!

But please try to think up of something else besides great power comes great responsibility.

How about: If your appearance and your actions angelic, which are you?

Or something like that. I'm not writing this.

BUT i'm following!

UPDATES

ARE

AWESOME!

Pretty cool story so far, I can't wait ti see an update. :twilightsmile:

New update.... Here I read ^^

This is a great story, I love getting the chance to see Sunset's past here next chapter as well as getting to know her adopted parents in this one. I do wonder just how much her parents really know about the fall formal though. Keep up the great work.:twilightsmile:

Mmm thicken the plot does.

Well ... That escalated quickly:rainbowderp:, but seriously, I can't wait for sunset to destroy this guy when the time comes when no one is around'laughs maniacally':pinkiecrazy:
..... Have a nice day

I smell a Sunset Shimmer demon-style beatdown coming soon.

This dude better not lay a hand on Sunny. She's my waifu, dammit- I mean what

this can;t end well...

" Guerra de la Magdalena santo" is wrong writen, As is correctly "Guerrera de Santa Maria Magdalena"

when the girl from Veracruz gave the rosary to sunset I can't avoid think at Hellboy

I like this story, you should think in a name of hero for sunset

Damn still no Pete but she will get him soon..... Hopefully

MrB

love the new cover art:heart:

Damn it, it's sucks when the superheroes get in these situations because it's a lose lose either way

Great chapter by the way though

5872702 Only when you leave witnesses. Killing those guys would be a service to humanity.

5872846 obviously but she also needed to protect fluttershy while also trying not to reveal her secret identity

Ok Miss Heroine, so want me to call the cops so they come in guns ablazing?

"Thats too easy, I want Risky to suffer."

Considering Fluttershy can be raped at any moment (and she must be plenty traumatized without being raped) I'm drawing he line here on Sunset's characterization.

I LOVE MY QUARTERSTAFF!

BEST WEAPON OUT THERE!

(I'm philosophical, so yeah, doesn't mean much.)

BTW,

Sunset Shimmer should totally redeem her.

She should have called the police and then went to kick some a:yay:
because just in case she wouldn't be able to get to flutters on time she could then have backup or something , but still she is pretty good at fighting grunts

I can only picture Sunset's father as Guile from Street Fighter.

5948187
Actually that was the idea.. Only older with a goatee

Finally put that jerk away, and I agree with the officer, she should have done more to him,
But still an amazing chapter

Great chapter! Will there be a sequel or there more chapters coming out still?

6104849
OOOOOOH boy

Buck up kiddo, this ride has just began

IF HE TOUCHES MY WAIFU I WILL OBLITERATE EACH AND EVERY PARTICLE OF HIS EXISTENCE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage::flutterrage:

he'll wish he's dead when i'm finished with him:pinkiecrazy:

Just read through the story so far, and I'm loving it!
Can't wait for what this story has in store later on.

Pfft , good luck resisting that urge, sunset

Sunset's invocation to transform reminds me of the demon Etrigan. Pretty good, but I feel you could word it so that it flows a little better.

Instead of:

The monster is taking over,
I can feel the claws setting in.
My skin is burning hot desire
The Devil is controlling me from within


How about:

The monster takes me over
Its claws are setting in
My skin burns with desire
The Devil is within

6241112

The verse is from a poem.... so yea :twilightsheepish:

Wishni could but I can't I'm going to kc comicon thoe

she was no longer facing Cherilee

1. Cheerilee.

Are you going to get if set up
Oh they, my song is on!
while giving a strong, surgical look to sunset
When we found her, she had no records, fingerprints, nothing. It was as if she just dropped here like an angel."
If only how close to the truth you were, dad.

1. Aren't, It.
2. Hey.
3. Forgot to capitalise.
4. Forgot your opening quotation mark.
5. If only you knew how close to the truth you were, dad.

He had his gun and flashlight drawn as he walked past the
She shielded her eyes as Thunder Breeze lead her inside
Sorry, I started you both

1. The... What? Your sentence cut off mid way.
2. Led.
3. Startled.

they give you just to your face there
Sunset had the biggest burger and friend the vendors can offer

1. They give just to have your face there.
2. Fries.

his mind that still had a conscious
not gonna use it in a while..
she returned to her sh-demon state
All sunset could have felt
"we are scared. But we fine,"

1. Conscience.
2. Forgot one more full stop to make it an ellipses.
3. She-Demon.
4. Forgot to capitalise.
5. Forgot to capitalise.

Wheres dad
flew ini every direction
kicks turned unto leg sweeps

1. Where's.
2. In.
3. Into.

Sunset repled
While you wait ,enjoy some TV
Thats too easy
Now, I would be with sunset shimmer
exposing her bra.Her hands
" I thought you were

1. Replied.
2. Spacing is in the wrong place.
3. That's.
4. Forgot to capitalise.
5. Forgot your spacing.
6. Extra spacing.

That window gave sunset enough time
She said as she lead the thirty
So, would you like me to read your Miranda?"
Be began to scream as well

1. Forgot it capitalise.
2. Led.
3. Forgot your opening quotation mark. Any why Miranda? Not really sure about this saying.
4. He.

Sunset shook her head,"I'm all right
which, after what happen during the fall formal
He stood with a group of officers, a with a sling supporting his left arm
Hows the arm
I was expecting that. its…its for the best I guess"
and he became face to face with sunset
for the rest of your life, whoever long that might be
Just to let you know,Risky line
thats all over and done with

1. Forgot your spacing.
2. Happened.
3. Extra A.
4. How's.
5. "I was expecting that. It's...it's for the best I guess."
6. Forgot to capitalise.
7. However.
8. Forgot your spacing and forgot to capitalise.
9. That's.

It all lead up to
Celestia said as she give Thunder one
You have an amazing voice"
They were even passing squad cards
statements they took.I have to ask
until you feel like its time
Dad spent a lot of money for the red tape.Iit
that was uncomfortable close to her

1. Led.
2. Gave.
3. Forgot your full stop at the end.
4. Cars.
5. Forgot your spacing.
6. It's.
7. Extra full stop.
8. Uncomfortably.

Sunset asked, Glancing at her father's
As for Fluttershy:"Oh! He was nice
to other boys at school. iIn the midst
sunset received one text from Rarity
"YOU BETTER JUMP HIS BONES HOLY SHIT IM SO JEALOUS OF YOU"
Whats with the new gear
it was attached to."It's my dad’s
"I’ll take my dad's word for it. Thanks"

1. Extra capitalisation.
2. Forgot your spacing.
3. In.
4. Forgot to capitalise.
5. Forgot your full stop.
6. What's.
7. Forgot your spacing.
8. Forgot your full stop at the end.

They men got in their small sedan
ITS JUST A KID
" I dunno, I just wanted it,"
“Ooh, I caught a drug deal, this should be fun”
I am an overpowered Marysue
which lead to him on a rant
"You're not scary. I think you're cool "
how getting intimate with Solar Sword would be.ith it she became flushed in the face
Eww..
"Oh, that. "

1. The.
2. It's.
3. Extra spacing.
4. Forgot your end full stop. Or comma. Whichever.
5. Mary Sue. And yes, yes she is.
6. Led.
7. Extra spacing and same as 4.
8. Uhh... Huh?
9. Forgot one last full stop to make an ellipses.
10. Extra spacing at the end.

"SUNSET SHIMMER! GET IN, BITCH, WE ARE GOING SHOPPING!"

Because broadcasting you're a terrible guardian of a minor in a public setting is the perfect plan....oh wait, no it isn't

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