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On a camping trip, Twilight and the Cutie Mark Crusaders are sitting around the campfire as Twilight prepares to tell them a long and epic story, filled with dragons and castles, pirates and magical artifacts, and scores of interesting characters along the way.
Problem is, they're tired and want to hear the whole story in 10 minutes.
Oh boy...
Featured from 9/3/19 to 9/4/19!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Normally, I don't like colour-coded dialogue, but it makes sense here because dialogue tags would slow down the story. Also, the parts about a pony in a top hat and land pirates made me chuckle.
...oh, gawdsdammit...
...upvoted.
Upvoted for having the balls to even try this.
I enjoyed the ending. Only the most powerful of anti-fire amulets can un-burn-down a house.
Wow. If the storytelling were any more compressed, the entire narrative would have collapsed into a black hole. Well done! Thank you for the impressive experiment in minifiction.
...Huh. :D
Did...
Did you just condense the Pony Movie into this...?
~Skeeter The Lurker
9813968
Thinking back on it, I may have done so by accident, yes.
This is hilarious! An upvote, a fave and a follow for this!
Prepare story for Ludicrous Speed!
This was truly hilarious! Have a fave and an upvote!
Abyssinia
So this is what it means to go even further beyond/plus ultra.
I might be hallucinating, but I'm pretty sure I remember this jrpg.
That was surprisingly coherent. well done.
I want to hate you but that was a surprisingly coherent kids' book. Upvoted!
9814066
It’s just generic enough thanks to compression that you could probably remember it from a bunch of JRPGs, to be fair.
Speedrunners play an RPG, 2019 (colorized)
That was very interesting and very funny! Thanks for doing a creative bit of writing!
Well that was something. At 25K words an hour it was even more of a thing.
*Flash theme song plays*
I demand a reading by Round Trip.
Protagon and Kickside are the best character names ever.
"Loooove it!"
Well, I find one thing about this utterly scary... it still has a rather ‘moderate’ pace as compared to some stories I edited in the past
When you have a limited amount of time but need to fuel your fanfiction addiction.
That, or you're trying to make a barebones draft for your story.
That's twice a story you wrote got featured now. Freaking twice! I am both happy for you and extremely jealous. What is your secret, man?!
A few quotation marks fell off this speeding train.
well damn, that was fast and epic
The pacing here is much better than the canon adventures!
On this tiny bit, we se so much of the characters it's amazing. We see that Kickside is strong, and bold, and that Protagon is witty, and knows her way around words.
9815147
Thank you, I tried to establish characters very quickly to take up as few words as possible. Protagon's a mare, by the way, but it's not like you need to know that to enjoy the story.
Best part ever!
Ensign! Engage warp 9!
9815193
Whoops, fixed.
This was delightfully silly.
...Huh, I was replied to by platogkrone but it's deleted.
Unfortunate. I wonder what he said?
~Skeeter The Lurker
he's called that for a reason
-3 of 10, story did not actually contain hyperspace, or ponies jumping to hyperspace, or ponies on ships traveling in hyperspace.
You're also making me want to write that short about Starline, the pegasus with the most useless superspeed ability ever: the power to jump to hyperspace. A power that won't get him to any destinations, because he can't breathe in space, and Equestria hasn't even unlocked the secrets to leaving their own atmosphere.
But hey, your Pizza in five seconds or less, or it's free*.
(*Five seconds for Delivery only, cooking time not included.)
Just a bit of a slog, but a good read nonetheless!
(smash cut to defender2222 lying in bed, DmitriTheWriter closing the book he just read him)
defender2222: Wait, what do you mean Fenrir got kicked ex machina style. I mean, he didn't die. Fenrir's only faking. Right?
DmitriTheWriter: You want me to read this or not?
defender2222: Who gets Schemington?
DmitriTheWriter: I don't understand.
defender2222: Who kills Schemington? At the end. Somebody's got to do it.
DmitriTheWriter: Nobody. Nobody kills him. He lives.
defender2222: You mean he just wins? Jesus, man! What did you read me this thing for?
DmitriTheWriter: You know, you've been very sick and you're taking this story very seriously. I think we better stop now.
defender2222: No, I'm okay. I'm okay. Sit down. I'm all right.
9815004
Fixed!
9815645
She*, but yes.
This...
Reads like someone who is trying to do a tl;dr of the entirety of the Second Part of JoJo. Or well, any part in general really.
Me trying to recall the story:
So, there's a pegasus name kickside and a unicorn named protagon. They lived happy lives until the fire nation attacked. They go on an adventure and beat a riddle pony and a stupid dragon. They came across the secondary villain that escaped their clutches in spite of all their effort. The secondary villain eventually joined them. They got captured by pirates and were taken ashore. They fight the evil princess and the prince and saved the day and made friendship happen.
That is all.
What is this gibberish I am saying?
..............
PREPARE SHIP FOR LUDICROUS SPEED!!!!!!!
........................
They've gone to plaid!
There's only one plot thread happening most of the time. That seems inefficient.
A better strategy would be to have multiple plots simultaneously happening, and have every scene push more than one plot forward somehow. Don't just focus on brevity, try to pack as much meaning as possible into every interaction.
9816605
That probably would have been a good strategy. But honestly, if I tried to put in more than one plot, the story would've just broken down. By the time I got to the last scene, I only had about 200 words left, and that was just with one plot. I'll keep it in mind though.