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An Intricate Disguise


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Comments ( 65 )

Why does the cover art remind me of the werewolf family from Hotel Transylvania?

9214493
its proberbly due to the look in chrysalis face. of being way over her head.

The ultimate trap.

That’s one of the most interesting changeling headcannon in the last couple of years. Definitely fav and tracking it!

Solid start.

Let's hope you don't leave this one unfinished, eh? xD
---------

"Ah, suppose the tales aren'

I suppose

9214520
I plan on finishing 98% of them, I just get distracted easily like spreading myself between projects. Glad you're enjoying so far though! Quite a bit of thought has gone into this one.

After reading the description I have a hunch a certain turtle queen (who isn't much a turtle anymore) may have inspired this story idea?

9214548
Oh hell yeah. The seed idea transitioned from bowsette porn, to comedy, to somehow, this fleshed out four act story in progress which is hardly porn or comedy.

Don't ask how my mind works.

To think that the crown had the capability to transform a pony in such a way... this must have been why Clavus looked so different when she died! That was... harrowing, to say the least, but fascinating all the same!

:ajbemused:

Anyway, interesting concept you’ve got on this one. Is this going to proceed in the canon universe, or will it need an AU tag?

9214564
No AU tag for this one, all I'll say! Cheers for the catch by the way, was bound to happen somewhere.

9214566
Poor Chrissy then, he'll be afflicted by the same terminal stupidity that the cartoon one suffered from.

Still going to track it, though :pinkiecrazy:

9214507
Only in this case it's not gay! Magical.

*incoming Bowsette references*

Definitely keeping an eye on this one!

whyt he sex tag if I may ask? I personally try and avoid clop hense why i ask

So how quickly will they become the sociopathic tyrant monster who I think was implied to have killed all the changelings except for the unhatched eggs so they never even think to question her?

Seriously, she is the ONLY adult changeling in the hatching scene. It’s obvious that the drones are capable of having kids, so whatever happened to the parents of THOSE eggs?

Chrysalis wouldn't have believed it if she hadn't heard it from the queen herself.

Gender slip-up!~
So, he can actually swap back and forth between male and female whenever he wants? I'm sure he's gonna' have fun with that, once he gets comfortable with it.

Man, how's he going to explain the whole lied-and-hid-the-crown thing to the council now? It's gonna' be awfully awkward at this point, unless it comes up in some action-packed scene where half the council dies in an active rebellion that convinces Chrysalis that he really, really ought to put the crown on and try to do something about this madness. That should sufficiently distract the hypothetically-remaining council members from the whole lied-under-(I'm presuming)-oath thing.

I'm predicting Fascia is going to become an ally.
[Edit] Or that she's involved in the assassination.
[Edit 2] Nah, totally an ally.

Also it only just occurred to me that the second line of the whole story is "only the most adept and skilled of changelings can actually fool another one", and then a changeling door guard successfully lied to a whole group of changeling authority figures grilling him for information. Chrysalis, you got mad skillz.

9215244
You say that as if a) you didn't contribute heavily to the original premise or b) you weren't there for half of it.

You know that's so, fucker.

Hmm… I'm liking this so far. I'll keep track of where it goes, given all the other projects you work on. Impressive work so far.

Are you a true monarch? Bear, Seek, Seek, Lest.

9214549
So there's a mature label and sex tag and you expect me to believe chrysalis ISN'T going to be in the middle of some sort of changeling noble gang bang to raise troops for the hive?

Oh boy, this is gonna be a good one.

Got it this time.

For any who already read the second chapter and are wondering why it's now coming up as unread, the chapter originally had an issue on posting that was preventing notifications from going out. I've deleted and reposted the chapter as it was to ensure that people get notified this time! So, if you've already read it, nothing's changed. If not, read on! I saved the comments that were made on the chapter previously to put in this comment, so people's words weren't wasted!

Cedric Bale said:
Am I an idiot? :rainbowderp: This chapter wasn't here a few days ago, was it? Says it was posted the same day as the first, and I didn't even have a notification that there was an unread chapter. Weird.

'Eeeey, dominant Chrysalis. Poor bear. Gonna' be interesting to watch the part of her that tried to justify what she did to the bear win out over the part of her wanting to talk to Celestia in an effort to avoid war, assuming this story is canon-compliant.

The Red Baron said:

but there was also the worry if which changeling the crown might become linked with following his death. What if they were evil and powerhungry, and their actions plunged the hive into darkness? Would it be Chrysalis' fault?

https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DramaticIrony


Kabar42 replied to The Red Baron with:

TheRedBaron

You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.


And finally, Gunman999 was kind enough to inform me of what was going wrong with this update, and why I had to delete and repost. Sorry for any confusion!

Poor Chrissy won't be able to keep her promise forever though :pinkiesad2:

Interesting chapter, but there's a couple things you may want to edit.

Chrysalis looked about wherever she could, but didn't see a single council member in sight, though their presence might have been obscured by the sheer number of changelings present.

For the sake of continuity, that should be "he".

Angel was said to be the leader of the New Equestrian Republic, the ponies to the north that had relentlessly thought the changelings for years.

And that should be "fought".

9216816
My hero!

'Eeeey, dominant Chrysalis. Poor bear. Gonna' be interesting to watch the part of her that tried to justify what she did to the bear win out over the part of her wanting to talk to Celestia in an effort to avoid war, assuming this story is canon-compliant.

this chrysalis is gonna be somewhat smarter then the one in the show right...cause otherwise...we already know how this story ends then....and thats no fun.

Bowsette meme lives on

9217494

If she attacks Equestria, then ending up the way she does is appropriate. If her diplomacy goes well, we might get a satisfying war with the NER.

9217819
God dammit i thought it was a wholesome story up until i saw this comment

Fuckin stop it man

"Th-then..." Chrysalis turned, and saw that it was the pony that was so confidently bellowing earlier.

Pretty sure "pony" should be "changeling" there.
Looking forward to the next one!

Hmm, well at least Chrysalis has finally decided to take on her new role. I'm curious to see how her meeting with the counsel and the generals will go... And exactly how many of them are gonna try and seize the crown for themselves.

*glances at your patreon* sooooo that top tear is basicly someon hireing you outright to be a part time author for them...sudenly i really wish i could hurry up and win that lotery...i know theres alot of naughty stories id love to see writen involving various charicters from the show.

Really looking forward to seeing more of this! There don't seem to be many stories about the origin of Chrysalis, and this is an interesting take on it.

I did notice a small error:
Angel was said to be the leader of the New Equestrian Republic, the ponies to the north that had relentlessly thought the changelings for years.

Fought?

”...The hive has always had a queen..."

“Tell them only that Queen Clavus is dead, and that the drone, Chrysalis, died with her.

Many questions had gripped him in the last few days, and they were only exasperated by the fact

Exacerbated

I am thus far enjoying this read. I will be back for more. :moustache:

Not a bad play, probably not in Chrysalis’s best interest to wait for a full riot but that went way less violently than I had anticipated.

Wait that art style on the cover it's wolfjedisamuel's art isn't it.

That, and he'd have to get used to having a vagina. That was going to be weird.

Seeing as how the crown can be taken off, he only has to have a vagina during the day. Can just take the crown off after a hard day's ruling and go back to a non-vagina state.

Chrysalis looked about wherever she could, but didn't see a single council member in sight

Is this "she" intentional? Is Chrysalis retaining some of his female qualities with the crown off?

hello 9216816
Question? the queen is It's the mother of the hive? I ask because I collect all the stories where the queen is the mother of the hive.

"Then who are you, your grace?"

Ah, the classic "who are you" question. Excellent for both early introduction and moment of self-realization. It is so common in movie trailers, that I imagined one for this story as soon as I read this line.

Here, I wanna try to picture it:
GREEN TEXT IS FOR TEXT ON SCREEN.
Italic is for sound effects.
Air quotes: "Are for dialogue."
Normal text is for visuals.

Black screen. (all important movies start with a black screen)
Dramatic piano instrumental.
Logo appears: AN INTRICATE DISGUISE
Drone(out of screen): "Who are you, my grace?"
Hissing sounds.
Chrysalis(oos): "Glad you should ask."
A changeling queen is stricken down by an arrow in the chest.
High pitched orchestra notes.
Black screen.
TO HOLD THE POWER
The queen falls on the ground, as the crown next to her.
Black screen.
TO HOLD RESPONSIBILITY
A single heartbroken drone holds the queen in his hooves.
Black screen.
TO HOLD THE FUTURE OF HIS KIN
Alone, the drone watches his own reflection in a mirror, lifting the crown over his head.
The roar of the flames stops all the music.
Green flames spread all over the screen.
Chrysalis(oos): "My name..."
Suddenly, Chrysalis is shown from the front at a close angle, staring coldly at us.
Chrysalis: "... is Chrysalis."
Dramatic instrumental rises.
Black screen.
SHE WHO HOLDS THE CROWN

COMING SOON (HOPEFULLY)

Take it as a little joke.

Also:

"Th-then..." Chrysalis turned, and saw that it was the pony that was so confidently bellowing earlier. Funny how her presence changed that.

That "pony" came in the wrong neighboorhood.

Please sir, may I have another..?

9230686
For some weird amalgamation of reasons, I read that sexually, as if some pony just wandered into a changeling hive and jizzed all over the ground while surrounded by lings.

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