• Member Since 1st Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Jun 21st, 2018

Avery Quillfeather

I am Avery Quillfeather, I hope to write what people enjoy reading.


Cyrus, a young man, living on the western seaboard of the united states is one day handed a vial of liquid of unknown effect and origin by a drug-dealer snooping about his neighborhood. He learns to live with hooves, a tail, a mane, and as a MARE. He deals with the social stigma of being a pony pre-conversion bureau opening and lives with the fact a decent majority of his neighbors are HLF members.

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 32 )

And this is why drinking exothermic Kool-Aid given to you by a crazy man in an alley is rarely, if ever, a good idea.

However, it does make an intriguing start for a story. I look forward to more.

Lol. I really cant say what to make of this... I'll tracking anyways in the hopes that it will turn out good.

Haha! Brilliant! Exothermic cherry Kool-aid!
Tracking! :twilightsmile:

If I get handed a vial containing a glowing cherry liquid from a strange man of course I would drink it... when I am home of course.

“That was Twilight Sparkle, Diplomat, adorable unicorn, and Kind hearted pony.”
Unbiased reporting at its finest, ladies and gentlemen. :raritywink:

Very nice work thus far. I can almost hear the social tension building, and seeing how Cyrus tries to talk hirself out of this should be hilarious.

Highly interesting premise, I like where this is going. :twilightsmile: Poor Cyrus, being adorable all of a sudden.
From an overall perspective, nice reading experience indeed, though I spotted some minor spelling mistakes here and there.

Interesting read so far, though I'm a little confused on how events are progressing. So there was the Equestrian bubble in the pacific, but no ponies yet right? Were people totally flipping out on seeing Cyrus or not though? That point came a little hard to come across .

Still... cherries :fluttershbad: why do you haunt me?!


sorry about not being very clear, I will do better next chapter to clean up the mess I left behind this one.

So looks like I am not the only one welcoming our new overlords.

This story is awesome. Tracky button activate ! :raritywink:


The best kind of judgement.

Don't you dare ever put that stuff into water balloons.



water balloons you say? excellent....

381375 Wait you mean the R63 stuff... well your to late for that because I have a whole warehouses full of it. Same with the gas versions of all the potions, balloons bombs, in darts that I can put in blowpipes, in IBM, standard bombs, in vats and last but not least in vials that I can just hand out to people saying its grape or cherry soda.


I just gave you both ideas. Crap. :twilightangry2:

381391 I think we should team up, you and me against the world R63 ponifiying everypony.

381409 Want some of this cherry soda?

381441 Ohhhh you will love it. I know because that was my path. Heheheheheheh.


This is turning into the IRC thing again..

Confound these cherries! They drive me to marehood!

You shall never get me! MWUAHAHAH! :rainbowwild:


working on it as we speak, however it goes slowly. Imagine a race between maple-syrup drenched and duct tape wrapped turtles.

381456 Well have a free same of cherry flavored soda the*n.
*Da Bunnana King forcefully forces the R63 down your mouth*
((Then get in the IRC then.))

The prose is a little disjointed once we hit chapter 2 - you could do with going over it again, reading it out aloud to yourself. If you stumble, you need to rewrite. If you find yourself pausing where there is no comma, or the pause sounds wrong, punctuation is wrong. You need to watch the viewpoint change between Cyrus and everyone else, but I can get what's going on.


Alright, thank you for the telling me this. I will be sure that the next chapter flows a lot more smoothly.

Please sir, can I have some MOAR?

hmm if offered the cherries or the grape I'm adventurous I would down the cherry brew

Surprisingly, I may take the cherry if it was the only potion. :applejackunsure:

"I for one welcome our new Pony Overlords." :rainbowlaugh:

Would you happen to have a spare serum lying around? :twilightblush:


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