Princess Celestia is very concerned about Equestrians’ lack of visits to their primary care physician, and Twilight and her friends are happy to help out on a public health campaign by filming a documentary about their visit to the doctor.
Thing is, they might not be the best ponies for a health campaign...
EDIT: Heyyyy, Featured #2 9/18! Thanks a bunch!
EDIT: Number one same day- glad you all enjoyed!
EDIT: Late Nite 9/20- lmao how is this still at #1
EDIT: Finally off number 1 but it took to 9/21. Actually means a bunch that everyone liked this silly little story :D
Chapters (1)
Yeah, Pinkie most definitely should have diabetes at this point.
Funny that you mention those specific heart disfunctions—I've had both dilated cardiomyopathy and tricuspid regurgitation (I know you used mitral, but close enough). Hooray heart failure!
The internal testicle thing would explain so much about AJ.
We so need a follow up on how the girls are trying to take care of their medical issues. I do want to know what is up with Rarity. Looks like she might have caught something lol. Looks like my man Spike might have dodged a bullet not getting involved with her lol
This was both amusing, and made complete sense.
Raritys is the best!
Spike is dead. LOL. Well he even said he couldn't understand a bit of dragon knowledge. But it's fun in the same way. LOL
I really want to see more kind of this stuff over here XD
I wonder what Celestia's reaction to this doctor's methodology will be...I'm torn on it either being "fire him immediately" or "give him a raise."
Pfft. Freaking Starlight. Of course.
I literally choked on my tea at this line.
Don't often get that much of a reaction out of me, so well done.
I don't know how many people will be wanting to watch it as a documentary, but I'm sure it'll be a blockbuster hit if it's marketed as a comedy.
Excellent story CGrant!
Spike unknowingly breaking the fourth wall, 'cause this story is pure art my dude
Oh gods that naming pun, it hurts!
Applejack's diagnosis got a good laugh out of me, among the other clever jokes. Fantastic work!
Makes me wonder how Celestia and Luna are doing with their health. The stress of running a kingdom and living for thousands of years probably isn't doing them any favors.
Fantastic story but I always was under the impression Pinkie Pie's frequent brush with Diabetes was kept in check by how many calories she burns 24/7 by measure of being, well Pinkie Pie
Just, lol :)
No wonder nopony in Equestria wants a checkup. All the doctors are quacks like this guy!
Only reason Pinkie's NOT diabetic is because of her OP fourth-wall breaking ability, while Rainbow Dash is really close to being stuck in a full-body cast. Honestly surprised that Fluttershy's not sick from her constant animal-handling, though, but if she's somehow obtaining immunity from handling animals, then good on her.
Applejack's was just plain unexpected, if you ask me.
I am VERY curious what's up with Rarity. I caught the words "gynecologist" and "emergent" with negative connotations. Does that imply something like an ectopic pregnancy? If so, when and with whom?
9178967
Calories and blood sugar are very different things. A consistently high level of sugar consumption puts significant strain on the pancreas. If the pancreas goes, boom, diabetes.
RIP in peace Mane Six
9179057
Yeah, as it turns out exercise is not a cure-all for carb consumption. Sugarcane cutting is one of the most miserably physically intense jobs on the planet. They also eat tons of sugar, and suck on the raw canes to keep their energy up. They also have incredibly high diabetes rates due to the high sugar diet and frequently develop it while still working the job despite burning thousands of calories per day.
9178418
Oof! The cardiomyopathy does not sound good! Glad you pulled thru!
It's lupus.
9179169
It's never Lupus!
9179111
Yeah, that sucker ended with me having a heart transplant in '96. I'm actually sitting in the hospital right now waiting for a second transplant because of the tricuspid regurgitation. Fun.
9179291
I'm so sorry to hear- I'm sending prayers your way for safety and a speedy recovery! (I was born in '96 and now I feel all young)
Sucks that you got a defective heart on transplant; what was the issue the first time around, a virus or something?
9179295
Thanks. All prayers and good vibes are appreciated.
Yeah, first time around was from a virus. Diagnosis in '94, transplant in '96. It wasn't a defective transplant— average lifespan of a transplanted organ is about 25 years. Mine lasted just short of 22, so it's pretty damn close (and I've done some pretty crazy stuff over the years). I actually also need a kidney now since being a post-transplant patient gradually f***s up your kidneys over time because of meds, maintenance, scans, and other stuff.
Also doesn't help that I beat out Lymphoma back in 2014. Chemo screws with the body like no tomorrow.
You don't want me cluttering up your comment section with this stuff, though. If you're still curious you're welcome to ask questions via PM.
Blood sugar level over 1000 ... How is pinkie not dead!?!
9179052
No, he's not a giant intelligent duck inside a pony suit!
Or...IS HE?
9179057
1) Holy shit you two have been talking a lot! I can't even see the full train on a 4k monitor!
2) ... What the hell have you two been talking about that I probably need to zoom out to 50% to read it???
3) I love everything about this particular fic.
Edit: OH. It looks like the comment train is glitched! That's why I can't see the full train!
9178425
It can even happen to males, actually. Some testicular birth defects can result in one or both testes withdrawing into the abdominal cavity, where although they won't produce healthy sperm (temperature is too high), they can still be pumping hormones into the system. Supernumeracy with organs can even result in people having an extra, functional organ like a second spleen or third kidney- whether that's just due to a birth defect or something along the lines of a parasitic twin, and they may not exactly be in the expected places.
9178930
Luna's easy. 1000 years on the moon with no shielding from solar radiation plus all that moon dust (which is very bad to get in your lungs as it's more like ash then dust, plus has some fun reactions)... lets just say she and Deadpool might have a lot in common.
9179054
Considering how many virus she has, it sounds like she has a case of three stooges syndrome.
9179234
Except for the one time that it was, no one saw it coming.
9179057
9179093
Pinkie doesn't have to worry about diabetes, because when every her panaceas fails she just reaches a hoof out, takes two pills, and calls Bones in the morning.
Dr Function needs to share notes with Nurse Redheart.
Have my updoot and gave.
This had me chuckling throughout the whole thing. And knowing Pinkie she will somehow overcome diabetes if she does get it. Even if it just means randomly getting rid of it by eating another cupcake with written icing on the side saying "diabetes be gone"
Good job ^^
Applejack raised an eyebrow. "Say, Doc, Y'ever hearda Antisocial Personaility Disorder?"
The doctor blinked at the apparent non-sequitur. "Of course I have. Why?"
"No reason."
9178530
It does beg the question of what exactly dear Rarity could have. At this point, most of the conditions that come to mind are more chronic issues than those of an emergent nature. A bit for your thoughts?
Wowee! What a great story! Such comedic writing and magnifi-wait is that an OC? *Sigh*... and he was such a good author too. It’s always the one off stories...
9178530
I can't see RD or AJ wanting to fix their issues, though.
"Heavier bones will just slow me down!"
"T'ain't nothing wrong with some extra muscle!"
Hello There!
9179833
Um....Forgive me if it should be obvious, but are you joking??? It's surprisingly hard to tell.
9180179
YOU GOT IT
I’m literally so proud, you win an extra special sticker for getting the reference
9179326
I know what it's like to have major surgery on the same area twice. So I hope you have a speedy recovery.
Also your scars are gonna have scars now and that's Metal AF.
-----
Good story too. I really liked the doctor and his morbid sense of humor. You could tell he was a bit loopy from exhaustion.
9180203
Thanks. Sorry you had to go through something similar.
Didn't think about it that way. That is pretty sick.
I actually also had a pacemaker put in as an in-between fix and have a scar from that also, but when the new heart comes in they're gonna take the pacemaker out, so I'm basically gonna have a separate scar there for no reason. Oh well, the more, the merrier.
Take my Green thumb, you Pirate!
that... At 130 am, made me laugh so loud I woke my son in the next room.
9180271
Hrm, answers a few questions I didn't know you ask.
😏
9180272
Re-reading that it came out worse than I meant it to
Too funny, loved it. I wonder what Celestia's, or Faust forbid, Luna's reaction to the state of the Mane 6's health will be...?