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CategoricalGrant


"I haven't seen a bigger waste of talent since Dan Marino." -Lucky Seven; Want to support me?

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I am Breaking Scoop, news editor for CNN (Canterlot News Network). Recently, I was afforded the great opportunity to interview Twilight Sparkle and her friends about their views on politics.
This group of national heroes has saved Equestria no less than half a dozen times, and includes not only a full-fledged Princess, but also the Hero of the Crystal Empire, a Wonderbolt, and arguably Equestria's most famous designer. Naturally, I was thrilled to have the chance to hear about their well-reasoned views on the issues that impact ponies' everyday lives.
Boy, was I surprised at what I found! These are their philosophies.

This is a sort of semi-dark satire about political roles. What would they look like in Equestria (there are a lot of political themes present in the show)!? Sure to be a treat for political junkies!

Chapters (9)
Comments ( 119 )

it's about time for someone to write a non cynical discourse about politics in MLP

I love this, especially Applejack, seriously that is so almost exactly what I would say in such an interview. I would love to hear what Discord would have to say, you know he is a straight up Anarchist.

Assuming the rulers were at all like Luna, Celestia, and Twilight I would have to agree with her stance.

Ah, this was very fun to read. A great short satire of political views that flow pretty well.

However, I will say this...
Applejack will be declared a Kulak and be sent to the gulags within the first couple of years of the revolution.
Fluttershy will likely be a valued member as a face for it
Twilight will (obviously) defend her position of power and wealth in futile efforts against the masses
Rarity will either join the USSE or be sent to the gulags.
Pinkie Pie will likely be a leader until she is assassinated for being too extreme and trying to make a world revolution
Rainbow Dash will likely remain with the loyalists, clawing for the status quo to remain unchanged.
Spike will be with the revolution, though he'll likely be a part of a separate revolutionary force that wants a free democracy rather than an oppressive democracy
Starlight Glimmer will probably be in charge of the secret police
Breaking News will be freed and named head propagandist

I wonder who I'm missing... oh well, not important. I loved all the little details you threw in like the 5 year plan and the red army plan. Great story.

Comment posted by badninja deleted Aug 20th, 2016

This Twilight is soooooo out of character, but I can forgive that because the concept of Twyrant is absolutely hilarious.

“Enough of your treasonous, incendiary rhetoric, serpent!”

:rainbowlaugh:

Ok now that I have read the entire story I feel I can better leave a reaction. It is as follows:

Twilight: The worst princess and is throughly brain washed by Celestia.
Spike: I love you man.
Rainbow Dash: The big reason I think basic competency is nessary for voting.
Fluttershy: You can believe what you want to.
Applejack: A bit crazy but spot on.
Pinkie: Can I fit you for a straight jacket?
Rarity: Mr. Trump is that you?
Starlight Glimmer: Vote you crazy mare, even if your vote may not count you still should exercise that right until the Alicorn's strip you of that right.

Overall a fun read! Have a thumbs up.

“Well, I’m basically the opposite of Twilight, which makes me a generally rational, mentally stable citizen not prone to bouts of OCD-infused rage."

We liberals do have a tendency to be smug. But can you blame Spike? We didn't get to become the dominant global political ideology by being unhinged and controlling. :p

Fluttershy lets out a very soft giggle.

“I have always been more interested in installing composting toilets in unisex restrooms.”

When the sensitive character embodies a political view that's stereotypically emotion-driven, then proposes a brutally efficient idea.

I'm not really a fan of the trend in fanfics where Applejack is the stereotypical Southerner. You kinda made a nod to that trend and then still engage in it.

That said,

“Let me rephrase the statement. What do you think about roads?”

“Hate ‘em."

That's a sick burn.

Best chapter. Partly because pinko Pinkie is absolutely wonderful, and partly because slight Raripie.

One of two people with a political brain between them in this fic.

Pretty good and funny throughout, OOC interviews be damned. But, you're missing Discord-even if the conversation is under five hundred words, I'm sure Breaking News will be traumatized by the experience.

Or inspired to start a revolution. Hard to say, to be perfectly honest.

Liberty Prime has choice words for ponies like you, Ms. Pie. :trollestia:

I thought the other guy was joking, but no, Rarity is literally le Donald.

OCD-infused rage? More like 24/7 period.

Very fun little story, I hope Mr. Breaking Scoop enjoys his times in the FRIENDSHIP dungeons in Twilight's FRIENDSHIP castle for his FRIENDSHIP transgressions.

Also I as well would enjoy a chapter with Discord if you ever felt the need to add more characters to the story :heart:.

As a person who plays dumb a lot, it seems like dash is playing dumb here, not being dumb.

7497626
New to me, too, so I wiki'd it:

Minarchism is a libertarian political philosophy which advocates for a particular variety of minimal state that acts only to enforce a universal framework of natural and legal rights essential to the functioning of a free marketplace in economy and culture, and operating through a limited government societally managed according to democratic or republican principles.

Turns out that describes me, too!

I hate dragon haters.

Are you sure Fluttershy is good friends with Tree Hugger?

Am I the only one here who thinks like Applejack?

(loads shotgun)Looks like somepony needs more freedom....

7498800 I do too, except that I believe foreign intervention serves a purpose and that there are bigger issues to worry about than the Central Bank.

Sort of reminds me of Stephen Maturin in the first of the Aubrey-Maturin series Master and Commander with Stepehn having views but somewhat disenchanted by both the French Revolution's loss of control and the failure of the uprising of 1798 in Ireland.

A farmer who is for subsidiaries but against taxes. Shocker.

7497626 A minarchist is a type of libertarian, libertarians are a very diverse group but the two main divisions are between minarchists and anarcho capitalists. Minarchists believe in a very limited government that is greatly de centralized and often emphasize the constitution and states rights. A good example of a minarchist libertarian would be Ron Paul, minarchists tend to see government as a necessary evil that needs to be controlled by havings its power be much more limited in scope than your average person. An anarcho capitalist on the other hand will often argue that taxation is theft and while they accept a limited government as well will argue that certain government services like police, fire departments ect... should be privatized. To put it simply minarchists are a tad more moderate while anarcho capitalists are a bit more radical.

7497801
Don't you mean BEFORE the alicorns strip you of that right?

This chapter reminded me of this song:
(Set to the tune of "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands)

If You're Happy And You Know It Bomb Iraq
If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are Saudis,
And your alibi is shoddy,
And your tastes remain quite gaudy,
Bomb Iraq.
If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think that SUVs,
Are the best thing since sliced cheese,
And your father you must please,
Bomb Iraq.
If the globe is quickly warming, bomb Iraq.
If the poor will soon be storming, bomb Iraq.
We assert that might makes right,
Burning oil is a delight,
For the empire we will fight,
Bomb Iraq.
If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think that someone's dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.
If corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain’t easy,
And your manhood’s getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.
Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might now knows no borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We’ll call it treason,
It's the make war not love season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

Remind me to send a care package to Eqestria in the form of a nuke.

7503593 send me a copy! Make that a song on iTunes

Lol as I read that last line a Donald trump ad popped up and that was hilarious!

7498811 no it's loads taxe money " and thats how there's a pot of gold at every rainbow!"

7498957 BOOO down with democracy fascist- communism shall rise!!!!!!

7497690 agreed comrade but rainbow dash will most likely become a general then kill during a purge ( RIP all good soviet millitary officers.)

7509873
*sigh* All those intelligent people, sentenced to die because reasons.

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