When I'm not writing stories, I'm writing essays. My keyboard sees fairly frequent use. University student, high functioning Rainbow Dash enthusiast, and satirical activist.
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The Equestrian Inquisition have taken Twilight Sparkle for questioning. Usually, they would be deliberating over how they might conquer the strong princess's mind and force her to confess, but this time they have an ace up their robes.
They happen to be aware of her rather strong affinity for chairs.
Inspired by a certain scene in Triple Threat, as well as the Monty Python sketch of the same name.
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That was brilliant. Have a fave.
I loved it!
cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/270611210922229770/358333010199707658/Michael_Palin_Monty_Pythons_Flying_Circus_1970_2.2.4.jpg
At least it's not an angry chair.
I know nothing about the Triple Threat scene you mentioned and haven't actually watched the Monty Python sketch, so this story made little sense to me as regards the scenario. That being said, I enjoyed it. It was funny. It made me laugh. Some of the dialogue seemed a bit unnatural, a bit over-the-top, but I suppose that was the point. Would I read more of this sort of thing? Yeah, I think I would. Good job, man!
Isn't that the chair where she's being all sexy like?
8428540
8428434
No matter where I go someone always beats me to the sereferences.
What did they do to Cadance?
8428421
Thanks very much mate!
8428434
This was hilarious and oddly applicable, thanks for sharing!
8428454
Thank you! Glad I could please.
8428468
Yes, there they are!
8428499
Thanks for sharing this. I've not listened to AiC in years, and this song was really good!
8428540
As far as I'm concerned, knowledge of the scenes isn't strictly necessary to understand and enjoy this story, but it is where I get a certain degree of the character's respective qualities, and the sketch is certainly worth checking out regardless! I'm glad you enjoyed it mate, and yes the OTT speech was intentional!
8428597
It's the chair which she shows Thorax in season 7 episode 15, if you're referring to the cover pic. As for the Indolent Perusal 9000? I tried finding a photo of it but every device I used crashed after so much as witnessing its image.
8428617
Glad to see someone posted this!
8428654
If it makes you feel any better, it happens to me too!
8428670
Whatdidn'tthey do to Cadence?Ahem. Good question! Well, logistically speaking, I think it's reasonable to assume that if the EI started off by going to Canterlot, they would visit Ponyville next, it being closer. As for what they will do to Cadence when they get to her, who knows? Depends how much sequel demand there is, I guess!Thanks for the comments everyone, I'm glad to see people enjoying this story!
AAIQU
This was wonderful, always good to see another Monty Python inspired story. Especially one involving the Inquisition that nobody or nopony ever expects.
Glen Gorewood
You get featured. Fast.
Yes a victory against decadence... Via what amounts to decadent gifts to royalty.
This also spared Twilight the unpleasant experience of enduring the soft cushions.
8428434
That was very, er, relevant. Sigh, I miss that show.
*is wiping tea off her screen*
This is just too good not to favorite...
over 9000
8429041
Nobody expects the... Oh you already said it.
Pretty sure retinas (the interior lining of the back of the eyeball) don't change shape. Even in ponies.
She likes the feeling of the comfortable fake leather pressing against her ponut.
8428840
Thank you, I'm very glad you enjoyed it! I've always loved Monty Python, I've had their film collection since I was a child, and I've seen a lot of the flying circus sketches too! Good comedy never gets old.
8429041
Well, maybe on their second or third entry, but still!
8429199
I suppose I did! I'm glad people enjoyed this one!
8429234
Don't take it too seriously, you can't expect too much logic from a story like this! You do make a good point though.
8429261
This seriously made me laugh! I'm guessing you've been talking to Cardinal Fang? He has a tendency to blabber about the Inquisition's nastiest torture methods, after a bit of the Blood of Christ is down his gullet.
8429325
Heh, that could actually work! The mental image of Celestia taking Philomena back to the pet shop is quite funny, I might do that one day!
8429441
Glad you enjoyed it! I hope I didn't make you waste too much of her majesty's most valuable stolen commodity.
8429455
Good point! I didn't even realised I'd referenced that when I wrote this. When you're making subconscious references, you must just be a born comic, eh?
Well, maybe not, but still.8429496
I make you completely right. This was a silly typo that I'll fix momentarily! Hope you enjoyed despite my apparent confusion regarding how eyes work.
8429510
I'll just read the sentence without the spoiler word. You might be interested to know that I considered making it real leather originally, with the discovery of it being real being the reason the line was discontinued, but I thought against it! Didn't wanna get too dark with this one!
Thanks very much for all the comments, everyone, I really appreciate them!
AAIQU
8429784
I'm a fan of Monty Python as well, and I'm so very happy with all the Monty Python inspired stories as of late.
You should do a story about The Lumberjack Song next, or maybe the Twit Olympics. If I haven't already I'm going to follow you now.
Because this is such a brilliantly silly story.
Glen Gorewood
No one suspects the Equestrian Inquisition!
Now we need a sequel "The Equestrian Bureau of Silly Walks"
Diabolical!
8429960
No one expects the lavender alicorn!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/8/21/1516678.gif
8429960
No one!
8430026
That would be a good one! At this rate I'm gonna have enough suggestions to ponify every MP sketch ever made!
8430250
Thank you! I try.
8430259
Oh my god. Who made this and where the hell did you find it? I can't believe how perfect that is for this story!
AAIQU
8430259
Maybe nopony expects the Equestrian Inquisition, but I certainly didn't expect my gif to show up here!
Well played, Fwelin. Well played.
A cup holder? Dang, that seals it. Chair of the gods confirmed.
'Indolent Perusal 9000'? More like 'Indecent Arousal', judging from Twi's reaction.
8429784
Just a small sip. It was still a bit hot for a full mouthful.
8430268
no no no mister hilter
They're not lying...
This was, like, the weirdest thing I've ever read.
8429854
I love the twit olympics, such a brilliant sketch! Thank you for the kind words, mate!
8430395
You made an absolutely brilliant gif, it's a shame I never saw it before writing this! Kudos, mate!
8430445
It really is a effin' good chair!
8430500
You may be onto something! She is pretty keen on that chair, after all.
8430626
Lots of brilliant sketches to draw inspiration from! Maybe this won't be my first and last Monty Python inspired story? Time will tell!
8432066
Well, I'm not saying that's my opinion, but the EI feel very strongly that it's the case!
8432274
Somehow I don't feel like this was meant as a compliment, but I'm taking it as one anyway! Weirdest story is a nice accolade.
Thanks for all the comments everyone!
AAIQU
Could have been the pillows.
I burst out laughing at this part XD. Is it a reference to That Mitchell and Webb Look by any chance or was it complete coincidence?
Eh. It was alright. The overexaggeration of Twilight's fake interest in chairs was kind of weird, and the religion was so vague that it didn't really seem all that important, but it's not something I regret reading.
I fucking lost it here.
Bravo.
8432476
If I had mentioned the pillows too I think I would have been in danger of damaging the fragile minds of your average reader. People aren't expecting this much comfort condensed into a few short paragraphs!
8434009
"They're gone, sir. They're all gone. And we're back."
"I'm sorry... Who?"
"The incredibly pompous and stuffy people who are still unaccountably waiters."
I'm glad you got that one, it just felt like it needed to be added in!
8434392
Even if it wasn't your absolute favourite, I'm glad you were able to enjoy the read! Thanks for leaving a comment, mate.
8435093
Thank you very much! I'm glad I could entertain!
AAIQU
8438542
Very true
8438542
Ah HA! Now I'll have to read the lead pony's lines in David's voice.
Cheers mate!
That was absurd, ridiculous, only nominally sensical..... and I bucking loved it!
Though was half expecting Twi to make some crack about"how do you ponies keep stealing me out of my castle? Is there some secret door or something I need to board up?
This was just.. the best kind of absurd hilarity.
What religion were they even supporting??? there are several mixed things here
Kind of want the cheese shop done with quills instead of cheese at this point.
8811426
Do not ask, for if their Order is but one thing, it is an Order of secrets. Of secrets and justice, which is two things... (this can go on for a whiile)
If you want more of these guys, and you want them as ponies, I'd suggest the AU of "Sunny, Moonie, Twily". It'll take a while for their first appearance, though.