Rainbow Dash has inevitably been seeing more of Zephyr Breeze since he started working for a company that offers freelance hair and makeup services for performers across Equestria. That company has recently entered a six month trial contract with Wonderbolt HQ.
Since he started working with the Wonderbolts, Zephyr has been hitting on everyone. Well, everyone except Rainbow, at least. To make matters worse, no one seems to be fazed by his flirtatious behaviour, even Soarin apparently doesn't mind his advances.
Rainbow is extremely agitated by this, and she cannot for the life of her explain why.
Chapters (8)
Finally a ZephyrDash story
8195627 You're welcome! I plan to proceed with this story at a steady pace, thanks for checking it out!
AAIQU
8196815 First off, thanks for the feedback! It's nice to see that some people have an open mind regarding this story, considering the amount of downvotes. (Not that I really mind them all too much.)
As for your first point regarding narrator perspective, I totally agree, I could do with rephrasing that segment, I don't want to jar people right at the end of the chapter, after all!
There are a couple of reasons the dream sequence appears as written, that I can't fully reveal without compromising future chapters, but rest assured the dream won't just be disregarded, Rainbow was just a little busy in 'getting ready for work' mode to really give it any thought at that moment.
The tangent with the buccaneer's blaze etc. towards the end is arguable unnecessary, but it was nice to bring that up, I'll bet a lot of Rainbow fans have forgotten about that move by now. I definitely see what you mean though.
Your nitpicks are very appreciated! I'll go and fix those right away, thank you.
Glad to see that I've piqued your interest, I'm excited to go forwards with this story,
AAIQU
I am really liking this story here my friend. And now a new ZephyrDash story cool.
8196975 Glad to hear so, it's nice to see people stick around, especially with a story that's as controversial as this one!
8197248 Thank you very much, and you're right, it was overdue!
AAIQU
I'm half tempted to just downvote this fic on principal, and it's entirely because ZephyrDash is one of only THREE ships that I just can't stand whatsoever.
However, since judging by the comments, the quality of the fic itself is good, I will restrain myself, and just leave this comment.
I WAS hoping that the one sentence summary of the fic that appears in other areas outside of the start page of the fic itself implied that this would either end with her just flat out rejecting him and him finally getting the message, or that it would turn into a SoarinDash ship, but again, judging by the comments that's not going to happen either.
I still won't ever READ this fic, because ZephyrDash triggers me, but I wish you good luck regardless.
8210567 Thanks for your kind words! (And restraint.) I'm pretty sure most people have downvoted this on principle but I can't especially blame those who are infuriated by this ship, everyone is entitled to their opinion after all!
Then again, I'm writing this for everyone who would give it a chance. In my opinion, the whole 'ZephyrDash' thing hasn't been represented especially well in written form thus far, and there's a glaring lack of stories depicting it (which some might say is for good reason!). But, then again, 'Flashlight' used to be universally hated on this site, now it appears to be universally tolerated, at least.
I suppose what I'm saying is that I know a lot of people aren't exactly going to jump at the chance to read a story depicting Zephyr Breeze as anything other than a class A asshole getting shot down, but it's good to break away from the norm every now and then. I realise I'm probably going to alienate a fair few readers by writing this (or at least turn them off of this story) but you've gotta be bold, right?
Besides, I think this might actually be crazy enough to work on some level, once it's come to fruition at least. (Can't exactly write a conventional ship for these two, has to be dramatic, has to be more complicated than it should be!)
Anyways, if you, like so many others I'm sure, would never actually want to read this story, that's totally fine! I don't mind that at all, but your coming along to comment here and give me your opinion is what makes me happy, so thank you very much for that, and for being honest also!
AAIQU
8210584
I think it's because of the fact that Flash, over the course of the films, HAS gained more and more of a personality, so ships with him involved aren't as viscerally hated.
I think that's what's missing for Zephyr, in canon at least: Sure, the end of his introductory episode had him actually make more of an effort, so he did get some development, but most people still heavily dislike him for his behavior throughout the rest of the episode.
I'm pretty sure that holds true for most ships that aren't quite as popular as other ones.
Like, take Quibble Pants.
A LOT of people seem to ship him with Dash (QuibbleDash is another of the three pairings I just can't stand), but me?
I ship him with Daring Do. Not just because I'm a hardcore SoarinDash shipper, but because I think a relationship between those two would work better than one between him and Dash.
8210612 See, I totally get that, but I also feel that in a community where we can give background ponies riveting backstories or take underdeveloped side characters and completely expand on them etc etc. You can likely see what I'm saying here.
I think what I'm trying to get at is that it's artistic licensing really. The author chooses how they wish to portray a character that hasn't had much development, and as long as it doesn't break canon or go especially against the show, that's fair game. It happened with Lightning Dust, people wrote her as a redeemed character in quite a few stories and it was generally well received, yet I'd go as far to say that she had less character development than Zephyr, and a lot less personality to boot.
Thing is, I think a lot of long time fans are quite set in what they believe are and aren't good RD ships, so when something new comes along to disrupt the applecart, (especially when that new thing is perceptibly annoying and lazy, or at least was) you're gonna have a hard time convincing fans that this is the pony they wanna see their favourite character with.
Hence, the issue here, and my efforts to change that, even a tiny bit.
As for what you say about Quibble and Daring, I never thought of that, but I completely agree, those two would make a great pair, mainly because of their potential for bickering, I'd imagine.
AAIQU
8210648
Yeah, I do.
I agree with that first statement.
I think, though, for a lot of people, Lightning Dust, despite having less personality, was still more enjoyable as a character than Zephyr. Why depends on the person. For me, it's because she's practically season 1 Rainbow Dash, and Dash was my favorite pony until Cheese Sandwich, and then later Starlight Glimmer, came along.
The funny thing is that when I first started reading fanfiction, whenever I came across a shipfic that I thought was cute, I faved it, regardless of the pairing involves.
Over time, though, I became a bit more critical of what pairings are involved in a fic, at least ones that I fave.
Like, I'll still read a shipfic about a couple I don't ship if I find the premise cute enough, but whether I'll fave it or not is another matter entirely.
When it comes to Dash, the two most common pairings in my faves folder are SoarinDash and ScootaDash (and the latter was a relatively recent thing).
The potential for bickering is also why, thanks to To Where and Back Again, I now ship Trixie and Discord together.
I really like the ongoing hummingbird motif you have going on, it’s cute and gives us great insight into Dash’s feelings. I also like the list of ponies Dash won’t trust with Tank.
8213346
Thank you very much for your comments! It’s nice to know that those things are appreciated, and I’m glad that the dream sequence allows for a decent level of understanding. The list is quite blunt, but Rainbow can’t help how she thinks! She’s very protective of her Tank. Anyways, glad you enjoyed the chapter!
AAIQU
8210584
I don't get downvoting just because one doesn't like a particular ship. Seems petty to me. I've never enjoyed AppleDash, but the idea of going around and punishing authors for daring to write my not-OTP is silly, really.
8235895
Whatever my personal feelings on the matter may be, I respect that each person has their right to an opinion and may exercise it however they feel they must, as long as they're not explicitly attacking me I won't complain.
While downvoting a story just because it isn't our preferred ship may not be something me or you would do, I'll not comdemn others for doing so.
All publicity is good publicity, right?
AAIQU
Zephyr finally shows up, and things get interesting.
Just came across this not too long ago. I'm quite enjoying it so far, and I have to say I like what you've done with this chapter the most. Will most certainly keep my eye on this once I've finished the chapters you've put out, which shouldn't take long.
As you can see, couple of times you use "hand" instead of "hoof."
Meanwhile, this is the first time I've seen an entire chapter dedicated to getting prepared for the day. But as 8224006 mentioned, I'm not sure how much of the detail was narratively necessary.
8305546
Well, thank you very much! It's always nice to hear that my work's being enjoyed, I'll get back to writing this one soon!
That chapter was pretty fun for me to write, I must admit. It was really interesting to write something showing a different aspect of Spitfire's personality, it allowed me to better explore her character in conception. One thing I absolutely love to do is expand on canon characterisation and give my characters distinct personalities!
8315103
Ah, I see you came across my little experiment. You've also identified one of my most common mistakes. Honestly, I need to download the manuscript of each of my fics and do a ctrl+F on the word 'hand', I'm terrible for looking over it.
As for the length of the first chapter, while it is in need of an edit, I doubt the length will change too much when I revise it. There are reasons I've included the dream sequence, as well as different elements of Rainbow's morning routine, which will become clear in a later portion of the story. This story's gonna be pretty long regardless, it's a pretty unconventional take on romance.
It's strange to look back on something you wrote only two months ago and find multiple things you'd say differently now. Mainly diction and syntax related, but still! I consider it progress.
Thanks for the comments, guys!
AAIQU
Now we finally get into the meat of the story.
Finally getting around to reading this in earnest. I'm not as hard on Zephyr as much of the fandom seems to be... and it's interesting to me to see how a ZephyrDash relationship would form. Anyway, comments:
No indication of what "it" is, though from the context I assume he intended to report her.
Given that we haven't really heard Tank make any real noises whatsoever, I have a mental image of this happening literally every time Rainbow comes home. XD
...And this is what happens when you comment like I do - writing out an entire comment as I read.
Meanwhile, as usual, reading gives me ideas of my own. I'm imagining a scenario with a stallion a bit like Wave Chill, in a way... a new recruit with a bit of an antagonistic relationship with Rainbow Dash. However, it's because he initially came to the Wonderbolts with a bit of a crush on Rainbow. Because he's a bit confident and proud of himself,.. which quickly leads to clashes when, before he can even make advances, Rainbow starts criticizing him. Partly due to his pride, and partly due to his crush turning out to be a "bitch," he develops an unfriendly rivalry with her...
...And the story basically reaches hiatus status as soon as we get to the actual premise of the story.
Also, a few usages of "hand" rather than "hoof" the most egregious being:
9650745
Take a breathmint mate, you need to relax a bit and try to read a story that you actually like.