• Member Since 28th Jan, 2016
  • offline last seen Yesterday


Death smiles at us all; all a man can do is smile back.


Over the course of man’s existence, there have been some questions that we haven’t been able to answer, such as what the meaning of life is and why we always lose a sock in the dryer.

However, there are some questions that one does not think to ask as they are... unusual. One of those, for example, is, “what would happen if Rainbow Dash was replaced by the longest continuously produced military aircraft in human history?”

One individual dared to ask that question. After being put through some of the most rigorous tests, these are the results he came up with.

Edited by James Fire.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 93 )

I warned you. Don't tell me I didn't.

Seriously, you might get cancer from reading this.

That was weird and hilarious. Well done! :rainbowlaugh:

So just to recap:

Twilight was replaced by a fire truck.
Fluttershy was replaced by a Sherman tank.
Celestia was replaced by an Ohio-class submarine.
Luna was replaced by a moon rover.
Discord was replaced by a recorder.
Starlight was replaced by a raging dumpster fire. (No one could really tell the difference.)
And Sunset was replaced by a screaming man who happened to be on fire.

Am I leaving anypony out?

8309036 You didn't warn anyone. :trollestia:

8309050 Glad you liked it! :pinkiehappy:

Fucking shit you stole my idea. Sorta.

8309077 What was your idea? I love these kinds of stories and thought of it in the place where I get most of my ideas: the shower!


Thanks. It's good to have a complete list. And in fact, it turns out that most of the cast has been replaced by inanimate objects.

New Group critical mass: reached.

8309083 I forgot to link that one.

There is a group for these stories, but it's sadly not as active as I wish it was. :(

I do hope this story is well liked. I love making these kinds of stories and want to make more (perhaps I'll replace the Flim-Flam Brothers with Al Capone and Bugsy Moran).


I'm guessing that when she somehow puts on her Element of Loyalty necklace, she turns into a rainbow-colored AC-130?

An Su-37 Terminator is sent to Equestria. Also holy shit you wrote Celestia is replaced by Trump I fucking love you

8309102 1. Write it! I'd read it! It'd be pretty epic to see that thing fly alongside Rainbow Dash.

2. Indeed I did. You like that story? ^_^ It's my personal favorite story of mine.

I should have. Right at the beginning, a warning to all reading this.

Good. Now make it porn.

THIS. FUCKING THIS:rainbowlaugh:

The sonic rainboom. It's a sight most will say can inflict a sense of awe that can only be beaten by seeing the vast and infinite cosmos.


Of course, Rainbow was one for one-upping herself. And when one sonic rainboom no longer seemed impressive, she had her lifelong idols: the Wonderbolts, fired off a round of sound barrier shattering shots from their cannons.


“Wow, I can't believe she's really going to pull off a triple sonic rainboom,” Fluttershy said as she looked up at her giant metal friend and her idols, who continued to BRRRRRRT away.

Such is the way of the A10 Warthog.

Sides = Gone to orbit

Rainbow started her engines and shook wildly as her beloved pet, M1 Abrams Tank the Tank, slowly made its way towards a pile of snow before firing off a rocket and creating a large crater.

Shit, I think I'm gonna need a few stitches after that one...

this is absolutely beautiful, a work of art, keep doing what youre doing! :D

Okay seriously, this is offensive. Dash isn't that big! (her ego though...) jk

Rainbow started her engines and shook wildly as her beloved pet, M1 Abrams Tank the Tank, slowly made its way towards a pile of snow before firing off a rocket and creating a large crater.

I wouldn't hesitate to quote everything if it weren't for the fact it would have been a waste of time lol, but I lost it at this

8309279 That's my favorite part tbh. When I wrote it, I had a giant smile on my face. :rainbowlaugh:


Rainbow Dash is Replaced by a Lockheed C-130 Hercules

Why do I keep coming back to this website.

8309379 Morbid curiosity?

:raritystarry: All those sailors and solders in your cargo hold how crude and crass Rainbow C-130 you are a bad influence on little foals! Come along Precious Scales before some pony turns you into a puffer fish!
:moustache: really a fish? Who'd be dumb enough to do that?
:facehoof: You'd be surprised....or maybe not.
:trollestia: Not...


M1 Abrams Tank the Tank...
Well, I know what I'm naming my tortoise if I get one

For our next trick...

Princess Flurry Heart is replaced by the Death Star.

"But Princess Flurry Heart already IS the Death Star."

"Right, so the transition won't take much work."

God, I fucking love these "X is replaced by an X" stories, they are hilarious.

... What did I read?

... Do I care anymore?

... This is my life now, isn't it?

Every day we stray further from Celestia's light...

Not enough freedom

Twilight should've been an Apache attack helicopter.
Fluttershy should've been an OH-58 Kiowa.
Pinkie should've been a Bradley IFV.

Seriously though, you made me laugh. Congratulations.

A10 Warthog.

I thought rainbow was a C-130.

Vertigo22, known for his line of magnificent, oftentimes comedic, works (except for the goat-man one with a nightmare-inducing cover picture), does not disappoint in his newest story, "Rainbow Dash is Replaced by a Lockheed C-130 Hercules."

What truly sets this work apart from others is the author's unique style of character development. Our protagonist, Rainbow Dash, is incapable of speech. However through his brilliant attention to common body cues we take for granted daily, Vertigo22 allows the reader to truly "see" Rainbow Dash, and understand her thoughts and intentions without the character needing to directly speak. Veritgo22's indirect method of having the protagonist communicate is brilliant and adds a layer of depth to her mirrored in few, if any, works of fiction. Furthermore, the deep emotional connection, forming as a result of the level of attention the reader gives to the protagonist in order to understand her, leads the reader to truly care about the protagonist as she endures trials and tribulations far beyond what any normal pony should experience. From raging inferno wildfires, loss of limbs, or even forgoing a beloved companion for an entire season, the reader is truly empathetic to her struggles, especially because they are easily related to by the average reader, who also has also frantically scoured the dark web for mil-spec aviation equipment to help an injured friend.

Another notable aspect of this work is the storytelling method. While at first glance it may seem shallow, I argue that this piece is more akin to an adventure work in style. Following a typical five-point plot graph, Vertigo22 spends the first portion of the story introducing us to our protagonist--who she is, what her hopes and dreams are, her achievements, and her friends. We learn more about our protagonist and her crucial role to the safety of Equestria, before the author delivers the climax in the heart-stopping battle with the evil Tirek, followed by a brief period of falling action.

The denouement is likely the most notable section of the work. Having overcome many trials and defeating Tirek himself, we expect our protagonist to have a happy ending, but this is simply not the case. Harshly reminding us that our protagonist is very much mortal, we find she is unable to enjoy the holiday season because of the temporary loss of her greatest friend. Her retirement and great wealth brings her little joy as her favorite companion leaves, and while resolution is eventually found, the preceding moments are undoubtedly heart-wrenching, delivering deep thematic messages such as "money cannot buy happiness" and "the best laid plans..."

Overall, this piece is a surprisingly deep, philosophical and emotional roller-coaster, and by the end of it you may find you have learned just as much about your own nature as you have C-130 aircraft.

This must've been a spell gone wrong... It was great. I had a nice giggle, m8.

the name of delivering friendship.


The Mother of all Cupcakes


M1 Abrams Tank the Tank, slowly made its way towards a pile of snow before firing off a rocket and creating a large crater

XD I'm dying here.

and see Rainbow drop a MOAC on it

:rainbowderp::rainbowhuh:I don't get it

Rainbow started her engines and shook wildly as her beloved pet, M1 Abrams Tank the Tank, slowly made its way towards a pile of snow before firing off a rocket and creating a large crater.

My sides are now on a escape trajectory. 11/10

Btw the abrams isnt equipped with rockets in fact most normal tanks arent equipped with them either... Its got a pretty big cannon, and a couple fifty cal machine guns.... And to be fair they arent slow... 45 mph is the top speed usually... Not fast by car standards... But considering how heavy it is thats pretty quick

The only tanks I personally know of being able to fire rockets (at least modern tanks) arent technically tanks, and historical tanks capable of it are the calliope sherman and some retrofit of a russian tank.

Stuff about the c130 is pretty much spot on though...

Cool story... Though, i still liked it

8309856 That she is.

The Wonderbolts are A10 Warthogs ;)

8309642 You'll be very happy to know I have an idea for Halloween.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders are Replaced by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse

8309622 Hah. Personally, I'd go with Flurry Heart is Replaced by Nibiru.

I always aim for maximum stupidity.

8309858 Thanks for that review. I'm glad to know I've provided insight to a misunderstood warplane. :rainbowlaugh:

Also, if you think that Goatman cover art was nightmare inducing, just wait until you see the cover art for Visitors.


But Nibiru doesn't have a catchy theme tune.

8310354 Stupidity is my specialty!

8310116 Didn't know that! Thanks for informing me!

Though her slow speed is in reference to Tank being a Tortoise... thanks for informing me on that too.

8309810 I apologize for the lack of Freedom.

But I did have copious amounts of Friendship! :D

8309672 Yes. And you're going to like it.

8309799 OR DO WE?

8310058 Yeah, but...

This is Rainbow Dash. So... it's totally 20% cooler or something.

8309611 Cool! Then get a second one and name it Vertigo. Then you'll always remember who to thank for the awesome pet name. :trollestia:

8309885 The "and see Rainbow drop a MOAC on it" is in reference to the fact that she didn't know Pinkie was with Rainbow.

Also, geez, I forgot how sloppy it looks when I do more than one-mass reply segment. Stupid phone is slow on FimFiction. >_> Ah well.

8310364 True... dang, tough choice.

Planet destroyer from a movie or planet destroyer from a crazy woman's mind...


Friendship works, too. :twilightsmile:

What the fuck did I just read...

8310371 My Little American: Friendship is Freedom

8310431 The secrets to life, love, the universe, and AMERICAN INGENUITY!

...What exactly I should say to this one isn't really plane to me. :ajbemused:

8310441 Well, I'll still tank you for your comment.


The Cutie Mark Crusaders are Replaced by the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Also, if you think that Goatman cover art was nightmare inducing, just wait until you see the cover art for Visitors.

Oh come on! How do you expect me to stay sane with all this?

or at least sane enough to continue editing for you

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