• Member Since 25th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen July 17th


I'm here to help. Avatar image courtesy of Taggerung



(Spoilers for the series finale)

Cozy Glow was supposed to be stripped of her phenomenal, cosmic power when she was defeated.

Instead, she just lost her memory. Having super powers and being pursued by the authorities, she comes to the only obvious conclusion a comic-reading child could:

She's clearly a superhero vigilante!

A trainwreck of idiotic decisions follows.

Part of the Cozy Hero continuity.

Chapters (16)
Comments ( 210 )

Is cozy glow a sociopath my knowledg of psychology is on the level of sigmund freud and i dont want to get things wrong when i write her

This looks interesting and potentially hillarious. Hopefully it won't end badly for our new hero. I love how you can still see a bit of her villainy in her even now.

There is no concrete evidence or conformation of her being one.

Oh dear

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

This was wonderfully chaotic. Ever thought that crosses Cozy's mind was pure unadulterated magic. I eagerly await the untold shenanigans that lurk in future for our truly wonderful heroine.

Originally I kinda planned to just roll with her new persona wholesale, but I find it a lot funnier having it clearly and identifiably be Cozy Glow, just highlighting her more childish side and putting her in very different circumstances.

Glad you liked it. Given how tired I was when I wrote it I didn't feel like any of it came off.

I am so LOVING THIS!:pinkiehappy: Seriously this just has so much potential for chaos, that Discord himself might get jealous.


as i said my knowledg of psychology is limited. But considering the idea that friendship is not about personal gain flew completley over her head, im inclined to believe it. I mean if you in to a schoo whose whole purpose is to teach friendship and still not get that message there' something wron with you.


she seems like one whos not above tormenting a small animal at the very least

That could simply mean she's either very stubborn in her ways or has other mental issues. Just because her time at the school failed to teach her that doesn't mean she's incapable of genuene friendship.

She most likely simply memorized a bunch of texts and lectures and presumably aced some tests and while that would make her a good student, it wouldn't make her good at friendship and I don't remember seeing her participate in any extracurricular activities with anyone else besides assisting Twilight. I remember having to memorize poems in middle school and while I did manage to do that and get a nice grade for it I never really got the meaning of those poems nor did I ever take any lessons it may or may not have had to heart. Not to mention how most of the classes seamed to consist of either history lessons or whatever subjects the Main 6 wanted to teach (animal care, PE).

TLDR, going to a friendship school doesn't mean you'll immedietly be a good person with lot's of friends.

This story is 100% natural extracted yes, put into the shape of a story.

Glad to hear it ^.^ Hope I can live up to that promise

You're basically right about all of this. Still, even if she just memorized everything, it could come in handy later...

Glad you think so!

Damn, this was hillarious. Once again I love how Cozy still has mannerism's simmilar to a villains even while being a superhero. Her trying to copy Zecora's (I assume it's her) rhyming was also great. Can't wait to see her attempts to evade the "villains".

An actual laser would at least have more predictable results. Less child friendly, sure, but less of a throw of the dice than your typical magical blast.

As a super hero, I should go help, right? But wait, I don't have my costume ready; I can't compromise my secret identity. Guess I'll skip this one.

I can literally hear her voice in my head. It's amazing.

"Fear not, pony civilian! I have come to resc—WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS THAT?!"

It's what happens if you have the misfortune of taking an arrow to the knee. Remember children: practice proper bow safety.

"Oh, did you assume I meant you?"

The tiger head grunted. "Didn't you?"

"What, do you think you're ugly?"

An angelic chorus opens up as the heavens themselves stand in awe of the heat of that burn.

Okay, if I just quote and respond to every good line and bit I will just be copy and pasting the whole fic into the comment. Everything about this was great. Cozy's plan. Cozy's thoughts. Cozy's dialogue. Cozy's rhyme. Cozy. I am 100% glad that this is a thing that is now happening.


like i said im an ignorant buffon and you're probably right. But ill stick with my interpretation for now because writing a 12 year old kid who acts like that is entertaining in a dark sort of way

Stealing isn't especially heroic...

Though one supposes it could be justified as part of the greater good. Hmm.

Right now she's justifying it as 'need outfit to not die'


10006177 on all seriousness tho
the thing about fiction is that face value doesn' mean anything we can take away whatever we want for any reason. That's just what i see given her characterization. Just like how i see pinkie as virtuous but overly straightforward while others see a slightly narrow-minded scatterbrain.

Golly is the best superhero in Equestria confirmed.

You write a very good Cozy. Honestly everything about this was amazing.

Working on the next chapter now.

Man, you are fast. Can't wait!


New update,
just for you two!

I've gotten two whole followers out of this story, hot dang.

And so commences the meeting of two massive ego's.

Which means I need to find some way to out-do her!

Oh Cozy...


You motherfucker.

If there was one thing I knew about adventuring, it's that randomly taking on ridiculously dangerous tasks was how you got more powerful.

Curved XP scaling is a curse and a boon.

So I set off straight for the dragon's lair, donning my costume and shifting my coat to a deep navy blue, and my mane to an ever-flowing rainbow just long enough to reach back to my shoulders; the super hero 'Dashing Savior' would have her debut with a super-sneaky stealth mission!

I mean, when she described the costume, I saw this coming, but still, it has to be said:

You son of a bitch.

"YEAH! YEAH! TAKE THAT! THE DASHING SAVIOR TRIUMPHS! I'm going to call that move my 'dragon ball' after this! Hah! Emergent move-names! Yeah!"

I was waiting for it. I was watching for it. I was not ready for it.

Yeah! Fear my power!

"Dashing" ...I'm not sure that's quite the superhero thing to think at this moment.

I shrugged and stuffed all of the gems into the saddlebag at the rear of my costume. "Golly, thanks. Cheapskate."

... :trixieshiftleft:

Oh boy. So many chapters to go.

Trouble at the Silver Stable retirement home! What kind of dastardly monster would attack elderly ponies?

Oh no. Is this headed where I think it's headed?

The one that knows the terrain and plans ahead is assured of victory! This stupid creature can't hope to match wits with the great Dashing Savior!

Just hearing this in my head in Cozy Glow's voice cracks me up.

Which would have been a lot easier if I'd planned this far ahead. Instead, I just charged up a nasty laser beam and shot the creature right in the eye.

Remember kids, fancy katas win oohs and aahs but a mean right hook still wins fights.

To my surprise, two alicorns – one huge and white, the other smaller (though still pretty tall!) and dark-blue – were reconstructing a part of the building that had caved in.

This headed exactly where I thought it was headed.

As I drifted off to sleep I thought of what might have happened to that 'Dusty Pages' if I hadn't shown up. It brought a little shudder to me to imagine the same happening to me; powerless, at the mercy of forces beyond my control, held against my will... imprisoned...

Dramatically Ironic Oof.

Golly. Breaking into the Canterlot Archives really wasn't all that hard.

God damnit.

No wonder Equestria needs heroes! Those guards are incompetent suckers!

Dashing Saviour, Master Specialist Shadeomancer, strikes again!

"Yup! And when I find those badguys they're going to be sorry, once I smack them so hard their vision turns all starry!"

Oh no. She can rhyme.

"Don't remind me I'm a foal, lately I've been on a roll. Whether ogre, dragon, or troll, every villain is going to pay the toll ! I have to stand up to those who'd hurt, who'd kill, because if I don't, who will? It may be dangerous, but it's only when I face the danger I can grow; that's just my fate, because I am a hero."

Oh no. She can rap.

Also: Petition for ERB to do Cozy Glow vs. Darla Dimple.

You can either hate writing Zecora or you can just embrace it.


Interesting, it seems both pre and post amnesia Cozy's are doing the things they did for affection and admiration, yet they have no idea what their doing or why their doing it beyond that.

So... being nice was in Cozy's head the whole time, but it was clouded by some grudges she held against ponies.

As I flew closer, I realized there was a slight complication. Apparently, some other rainbow-themed hero had gotten involved before I could! She was zipping around the hydra and confusing it, and generally limiting the damage it could do while the civilians fled.

Whoa. She's awesome!

Which means I need to find some way to out-do her!

I've been waiting three whole chapters for this.

*cracks knuckles*

Let's do this!


... *quickly checks Google to make absolutely sure.*

...You son of a bitch.

And just like that, we set off to get hayburgers and goof off for the rest of the day.

I got to admit, out of all the ways this could have gone, Rainbow Dash fangirling over Cozy Glow repressed-memory-LARPing as her was pretty amazing.

Yes, that WAS a Street Fighter reference!

... Cheeky bitch...

"And that's how I saved Daring Do!"

"Wow, good job!"

Oh my god. Rainbow Dash and Cozy thinking she is Rainbow Dash mutually fan-girling is so amazingly delicious.

Holy smokes! I must not be from Equestria at all, then! Some kind of foreign princess? But then where am I from?

"Quillion, we wanted to show you this... we found this in a corn field... and you were inside of it. You aren't from here, daughter."

Plus, the better I get at it, the more powerful I become. And I do like the power, the admiration, all of it. But that's not the only reason I do it, right? That wouldn't be very heroic, and I'm the best hero – so that's not why.

... The oofs. They keep coming.

8/10, Would watch an amnesiac psychopathic gradeschooler grapple with the bottomless rational void of their own prior behavior and current motivations again. Too much water.

Okay, doing quote spam is starting to get tiring with the sheer pace of these updates, but;


You cheeky git.

Anyway, fun chapter. Seriously, though; something has gone absolutely crazy in Equestria with all these villains and monsters about.


Also: Jesus christ, scalding fluid to the face is no fucking joke. That kid, and also Cozy, could easily get permanent scarring from that.

You are an impressively fast writer. I love how despite everything Cozy still feels in character.

The other kid only caught it on his flank, thanks to Cozy.

That's what I was going for. Glad to hear I'm getting it.

Welp, this is awkward, but at least theres a new villain to distract Twilight!

Don't worry, Cozy, this purple mare is just a show-off, high on her own farts. You're the best.

"Well... it's not fair for a supervillain to beat a super hero just because the hero's tired! Don't you want to prove you're tougher than—" I posed dramatically "—the Dashing Savior?"

"Not really."

He fired a wall of energy at me the size of a house, and I barely managed to teleport past it, firing a blast of my own that hit square.

"40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve."

This time, he howled with pain and surprise, and wagged his leg desperately to get me off of him. I was tenacious, and stayed latched on even as he swung me through the air, until he finally teleported away. I went sailing through the air and bounced on my rump a few times.

Dear god, this image is adorable, terrifying, and 100% Cozy.

And I saw a purple alicorn staring at me.

Oh shi-

"Oh, hey, Luna. Little busy!"

Ah, I love that "and suddenly Luna is there" is perfect shorthand for "this is obviously a dream."

I actually threw up. As much as I hated myself for losing control before, now I was REALLY furious at myself. I even felt angry at Luna for bringing all of that out of me. There was a voice in the back of my head screaming to get ahold of myself; that I was letting Luna work me over instead of staying in control.

This is going zero to sixty real quick.

This entire plotline is a giant game of who-knows-what.

And it thickens every second!

That evil wizard stallion hurt Dash, and then they took Zecora. All to get to me. And this princess is working with him, or brainwashed by him, or something, and they're all trying to get me. I don't have friends, or a home, or... what do I do?!

Oh shit. Was the dude she beat the shit out of Starswirl?

Luna's eyes shot wide. "What?!" She bounded out of the bed over to me, and wrapped me in a wing. I almost bit her out of fear, but once I relaxed I realized it was the first time I could remember anypony comforting me.

... Oh, I'm sad now.

Luna chewed her lip, but eventually nodded. Seeing that was the best I was going to get, I leaned back into the pillow and the world around me faded.

I wonder how many more dominos there are to fall.

Luna frowned. "Quillon, you're still very young. Nopony expects you to be able to fix everything that you break on your own! And you can't blame yourself for the actions of others—"

Coming from Luna, this gets an Oof.

"Oh, Quillon. You remind me a lot of myself, long ago."

I blinked in confusion. "Is that a good thing...?"

Luna snorted. "Not particularly, but... I won't push you away. If you're adamant about getting involved, well... I've seen the magic you wield, I couldn't easily stop you. Just, tell me how I can help...?"

And in the void that existed after the end of time, echoing just faintly beneath the syllibant hisses of the neverwas's and nevershouldhavebeens is a single, echoing "Oof."

I grinned to myself. Equestria wouldn't know what hit it.

Boy howdy!

Go, little filly!

Poor, poor Cozy Glow... Reality crashing pretty hard at her.

Damn, at this rate you should add a drama tag. Loving this story.

Login or register to comment