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Twilight Glimmer


Hello, I'm Twilight Glimmer, the Princess of Reading. I am a young writer/singer/rapper/songwriter. Read my blog if you want to learn more about me and feel free to PM me!

Sequels1

E

Knit Wit is a kind pony who admires the Princesses.

Knit Wit is also an idiot.

He asks Celestia to extinguish the sun.

Madness follows...

Contains: Upset Celestia, brainless ponies, desired use of alcohol, time stopping, and face hoofing.

Featured 3-15-19 to 3-19-19!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 76 )

“Well, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, and I always put on sunscreen, but I get sunburned regardless. I would like you to extinguish the sun tomorrow at 10 AM so that my vacation won't be ruined by a sunburn.”

I lost it at This Exact Line!

Hey Knit Wit, I've heard of a place in Ponyville, right next to quills & sofas, called parasols & parchments, maybe a parchment will solve the issue?

Maybe Twilight should ask him to petition the weather crew to make it cloudy, or get the weather report (which I think would be 95% accurate) and go to the beach when it is cloudy out.

XD I can easily imagine this being a Monty Python sketch!

9509068

It takes very heavy clouds indeed to block enough UV that you don't need to worry about sunburn.

Guy must have really sensitive skin if he can get a sunburn through fur.

And to think, after granting Quick Wit, the title of nobility, Princess Celestia had such high hopes for the family. Alas, it has gone down so rapidly after Half took over.

As much as Celestia just wanted to banish him to the moon until he learned what that weird thing inside his head was, she couldn't.

That’s where I lost it, personally. :rainbowlaugh:

9509083
You are certainly right, I have gotten a few sunburns many from very cloudy days.

"So... Princess Twilight, can Princess Celestia extinguish the sun?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because... reasons."

"Oh. Okay."

The assembled court stared in shock as the less than brilliant stallion wandered off, apparently satisfied at the non-answer. It was a few minutes before one of the various nobles managed to get up the courage to ask her how that had, apparently, actually worked.

"Oh, I know him, and that answer always works. Great at scarf-making, not so hot at anything else-- including, sadly, thinking. Probably misinterpreted something Derpy said again. Besides, Ponyville. Just ... Ponyville. Deal with a couple of Everfree Migration Tourists who don't understand that petting Manticore cubs is not a good idea, you'll consider him a blooming genius."

With that, she vanished.

I have one thing to add... If the sun were to ever extinguish, you'd never be able to light it back on fire! It may be a giant ball of burning gas, but that'll disperse and cool too much before you can re-ignite it. Just wanted to... knit pick? (That wasn't funny so I'm locking myself in my room for another week. )

9509233

9509247
You know, dealing with those tourists sounds like a great idea for another oneshot.

9509388
I just may do that.😊

9509397
also, great story. Forgot to write about that, as i was occupied with pressing matters. Yes.

It deeply concerns me that Celestia simply took a whiny teenager at his word and gave him free lodging for who knows how many years to run away from his family. Maybe actually do some research into the situation first?! Consider family counseling?!

9509460
I am more concerned that milk was not drank. Wouldn't milk be better?

Could anyone actually be that stupid? Please tell me he doesn’t operate heavy machinery for his job.

I wish that I could say with confidence that there are no people that stupid. Sadly, years spent on the internet have robbed me of that innocence.

Derpy. So random.

9509460

Celestia simply took a whiny teenager at his word and gave him free lodging for who knows how many years to run away from his family. Maybe actually do some research into the situation first?! Consider family counseling?!

Actuality, the story said "young colt", not "teenager". But your point stands. Hopefully, Celestia did some checking, or knew the kid's family, or something.

But if the colt's parents truly are rotten people, I doubt family counseling can fix that. There's a saying: It takes a village to raise a child. The hotel staff is a village. And the kid might be better off being raised by that village, then being raised by his rotten parents.

9509699

9509460

Here's what I intended with this.
The main thing I intended was to just have a heartwarming moment that people just sorta brushed over.

This next part may sound weird, but like I said, I didn't intend for this to be a large part of the story. Celestia saw that if this colt who lived such a luxurious life with his parents and siblings, but left it all behind because he just couldn't take the other members of his family’s stuck up personalities anymore. She also wanted to try to prevent ANOTHER noble from being corrupted by their power. Besides, if she would have done nothing, the colt would either live on the streets or have to stand by as his family bullied others. In my opinion, Celestia made the best possible choice. He would be content in his new home, continue to go to school (the hotel is in Canterlot), the staff would check on him every day, and he can't stay there for free all his life, so he has to figure out what he is going to do for a living before he turns 18. (He’s 11, by the way).

9509722
Thank you, knowing the backstory certainly helps! I think it was primarily the delivery; while I could assume there was a good reason, in the story it was moved over quickly enough that it sounded like Celestia only heard this one kid’s perspective of the situation and gave him what he wanted rather than looking into it herself. People of all ages frequently misread or misrepresent a situation, like kids whining about having the worst parents ever because they got grounded for smartmouthing their parents, so I would assume Celestia would be wise enough to properly look into the situation before financially supporting a child’s run away from home. In a way she is removing the child from his parents’ custody, a very serious judgement that in our own society can only occur when there has been abuse or neglect.

9509722
I wouldn't call an 11-year-old a "young boy" (or "young colt"). 11 is about the end of childhood, it's two years away from being a teenager.

9510185

If you're a thousand + years old, everyone who isn't in a wheelchair from age-related bone loss (and even many who are) is 'young'.

9510209

9510185

To be completely honest, I've been reading a long fanfic centered around nobles, and I pretty much just put it in there intending it to be a small, vague detail because it was on my mind at the time.

Write Chrysalis (of course with fake mustache) selling changelings drones with very weak costume as something stupid (like tools for gardening etc) and everyone is ok with it but not Twilight or something

9510396
Yus. This would be glorious!

“Well, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, and I always put on sunscreen, but I get sunburned regardless. I would like you to extinguish the sun tomorrow at 10 AM so that my vacation won't be ruined by a sunburn.”

Despite being covered in fur.....

>teleport iron into the sun's core
>sun explodes

take that celestia!

“Well, I'm going to the beach tomorrow, and I always put on sunscreen, but I get sunburned regardless. I would like you to extinguish the sun tomorrow at 10 AM so that my vacation won't be ruined by a sunburn.”

:trollestia:: "Or you could simply use an parasol?"
Knit Wit: "Or that. But my idea sounds easier."

Time to cue up "Why Does the Sun Shine?"

The sun is a mass of incandescent gas
A gigantic nuclear furnace
Where hydrogen is converted into helium
At a temperature of millions of degrees

Now we need a story with Knit (or some other pony) asking Luna if she can ignite the moon

9509089
What about in "Magical Mystery Cure" during the song "What my Cutie Mark is Telling Me" where Rarity sings, "I'm in love with weather patterns, but others have concerns, how I just gave them frostbite over top of their sunburns"? Would mean it's common for ponies to have sensitive skin... or that Equestrian ponies don't actually have fur, as the ponies were completely red.

9510870
I was thinking of him asking Luna for a Moon-Cheese Sandwich. :facehoof:

9509606
Or months working at Walmart...
9509233
I was just about to ask for a sequel to hear how Twilight exacerbatedsolved the problem, but thanks for extinguishing the fire.

Za Warudo! Tomare Tokio!

Sorrynotsorry

9510885
Honestly hadn’t thought of that. No further concerns to note then.

9510946
There's gonna be a sequel, but it won't feature Twilight or Celestia.

9510954
I hold sympathy for Luna and/or Cadence then.

"Can you extinguish the sun?"

"Ask Twilight Sparkle"

...Celestia, what if Twilight decides that's you giving her the OK on it, and actually extinguishes the sun?

9510885
9510946
Real horses get sunburns through their fur: they are outside long enough for the sun to penetrate, and their skin isn't really made for heavy exposure.

9511356
She had to deal with Knit Wit for a whole hour (and she's not sober), give her a break!:twilightsmile: :trollestia:

9510177
After much consideration, I changed the young colt’s interaction with Celestia in the story. Hopefully the new version is a little less sketchy. :twilightsmile:

celestia has ot deal with ponies like htis all the time. but normally they are the nobility.

9511359
Horses in the old west must have suffered.

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