I wanted to talk about something that's been on my mind as of late. See I've taken to an unconventional form of journaling as of late because I've found that externalizing singular thoughts is much more helpful than a storytime format that I have frequently used here. Which is why I doubt I'll be using this to work out any complex feelings in the future as I no longer have a need for it. However, I tend to have a pervasive issue of forgetting any emotionally distressing events that have

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I had a thought last night. It was a couple hours after finishing my blog post and I was going through imaginary scenarios of how the next day would go. I was going to march right in there with my righteous anger and demand that the grievous error was corrected within the time frame required for it to be on my record. I was gonna be strong and fierce and show everyone that they can’t mess with me. Then I had a thought.

But why?

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Have you ever had that moment. That moment where you're waiting for everything to come together and everything to be okay and it just doesn't happen? Well I had one of those a couple days ago. And it resulted in me failing English of no fault of my own.

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I know I promised a long post about my toxic high school theatre program, but I implore you to indulge me once more. If I can find the willpower and endurance to say all the things I wanna say I'll do it.

But in my quest to come up with a resolution that isn't impossible unhealthy or painfully overused, I was thinking about an email I sent back in September.

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Should be a long post coming pretty soon which gives an introspective look on my life as an artist, an outcast performer, and how I managed to keep an entire freshman cast afloat (with help of course), along with everything after. Be a decent new years post all things considered.

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So because I decided, at 10 PM, that going downstairs to get water, wasn't worth it, instead choosing to quench my thirst with an unfinished energy drink and consequently spent the last 45 minutes choreographing lady gagas bloody Mary.

I might actually be productive tonight, but don't get ur hopes up too much because we know how I am

Positive note: said previously mentioned story now has at least 200 words added!

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So one of my old stories is getting a major revision done to it.

But TG I thought you said—

Yes, I did swear off writing on this site ever again. I don’t intend on making this a regular thing, what with all my recent works drastically underperforming and being able to indulge in my creative energy for high school credit now so I don’t have to express any repressed desires.

…

Shut up.

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Have you ever been rereading one of your stories only to realize you accidentally wrote a literal innuendo into your story.

Dear god I might actually have to edit that considering who that conversation was between.

I think that if I don't talk about this I'll literally explode. I've never found Journaling appealing, something about the thought of other people reading it makes me more comfy expressing my thoughts. But yeah this gets so explicit when talking about it so like, if you're struggling with anything similar I don't recommend you read this. I talk about overeating/binging and restricting. Mostly restricting.

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