Dance With No Schmance
Pinkie leads you through more of the festival, occasionally checking in with other ponies to make sure everyone is having a good time. As you walk, you find yourself resting a hand on her back, absently tracing circles into her fur. She smiles and moves closer, gently leaning into you. After a few minutes of wandering in comfortable silence, she places a hoof on your leg and stops.
“Here we are,” she says proudly.
The “here” in question is a wide, open area on the far side of the festival grounds, opposite from Ponyville. What immediately catches your eye is the bright orange Ferris wheel stylized to look like a pumpkin. It’s not the tallest you’ve seen, but damn if it’s not impressive. Party horse went all out.
“You wanna go later?” Pinkie asks. “It’ll be fun~!”
She went out of her way to get a goddamn Ferris wheel, of course you’re gonna ride that shit. “Hell yeah. How tall is it?”
“A hundred feet; almost as tall as you,” she says, giggling at her own joke.
You roll your eyes. “Hardy har.”
“I really wanted a giant one,” she sighs wistfully, “but this one was easier to set up. Plus, it was cheaper, which left room for…” She prances over to the left, waving her hoof to present a pair of small tents. “These!”
“…Tents?”
“That’s what they look like! Buuuut~!” She trots backwards towards one, pushing the flap open with her flank. “Come check out the inside!”
She ducks back, disappearing into the tent before you can respond. You only hesitate for a moment before following. You’re sure it’ll be fine. As long as it’s not one of those dumb magic tents that are bigger on the-
Goddammit, it’s huge.
The light is kind of dim, but it’s more than enough to tell that you’ve just stepped into a giant dance hall. The floor is made of polished dark wood, there’s a soft melody playing from seemingly nowhere, and you can see a handful of older-looking ponies doing the horse version of the waltz under two floating chandeliers. Two. Who the hell needs two chandeliers? Just one is already pushing it.
“So, whaddya think?” Pinkie nudges you, wiggling her eyebrows. “Pretty schmancy, huh?”
“Very,” you nod. “But Pink Ponk, I gotta ask…”
“The chandeliers?” Her expression turns sheepish, her ears doing their best to disappear into her mane. “They came with the tent, they weren’t my idea.”
Phew. “Okay, good. You had me worried I would have to send you to rehab to get you de-schmancifed.”
Pinkie bumps you with her hip. “You’d never send me away,” she says with a soft yet confident smile.
“Oh, I wouldn’t?” She’s right, but you want to see where this goes.
“Nope! And even if you did, I know you’d come with me. I’d do the same for you, no matter how schmancy you were.”
Despite how ridiculous this conversation is, it still makes you want to hug her. “You’re a silly pony,” you say.
“You’re a silly pony!”
Goddammit, not again. How does she always have the perfect comeback? You need to think of something better for next time.
As you stand there, the dancing fancies start shooting irritated looks at the both of you, so you gesture with your head for Pinkie to follow you back outside. You’re about to ask her what the second tent is like, but she beats you to the punch.
“The next one is ever better, come see!” she says, skipping ahead to the other tent.
She slips inside before you can respond, so you kick your body into overdrive and power walk the five steps it takes to get there. Utterly exhausted, you push through the flap and look around.
The interior of this tent is also huge, but it has way more ponies inside. The lights are a rainbow of shifting colors, the music is lively and upbeat, and there’s an almost palpable energy in the air. It’s designed to be a lot less fancy and a lot more dancy, like a nightclub minus the night. Which is just a club. Man, you’re smart.
Pinkie is already grooving from the moment she stepped inside. “Let’s dance, Nonny!”
Hell to the fuck no dot jpeg. “Nah, I’m good,” you answer weakly. “I’ll just watch.”
Okay, that sounded waaaay less pathetic in your head. Pinkie stops and gives you an are-you-fucking-serious look.
“Nonny,” she deadpans.
“I know, that was…” You shake your head. “Nevermind. Listen, I’m not a good dancer.”
“Neither is Twilight, and look at her go!” She points to a purple unicorn committing a war crime on the other side of the tent. “It’s not about being good, it’s about having fun! Come on, dance with me! Please?”
She starts gently tugging your hand, not pulling you against your will, simply urging you to do the thing. There’s an eagerness in her eyes that tells you this is something that truly makes her happy, and she wants to share that happiness with you.
She got you France fries, for god’s sake, the least you could do is shake your ass for her.
“…Alright, fine.” You smile despite yourself. Pinkie’s passion is infectious.
You let her pull you onto the dance floor, thankfully stopping at the edge of the crowd of ponies. Bless her. You would actually die if you went into the middle of that.
Pinkie goes straight back into groove mode, laughing and swinging to the beat. You sort of stand there awkwardly, not sure how to proceed. You could do the arm thing where you just keep an arm in the air and bounce in place, but that seems like something a cool person would do, so that’s off-limits.
There has to be something you can do that won’t make you stand out. Well, stand out more. You’re already getting side eyes from some nearby ponies simply due to being the biggest thing in the room. Tent. Can a tent be a room?
“Come on, Nonny,” Pinkie laughs, bumping her flank into you. “Show me some human moves.”
Human moves. The only other ones you can think of are-
Wait… Ponies don’t know what human dancing looks like. That gives you an idea. Sure, it’ll draw more attention than anything else, but at least you’ll be embarrassing yourself on purpose. Your spaghetti DNA gives you an innate mastery of cringey dance moves, after all.
“Okay, Pinks,” you smile nervously. You hope this works. “This one’s called the Sprinkler.”
The only one really watching you at first is Pinkie, and that’s all you care about. Her eyes light up as soon as you start moving, which gives you just enough incentive to not die on the spot. As you transition into the Cabbage Patch, you start to notice a few more ponies looking directly at you. Some of them even try emulating your moves.
Oh thank god, you were right. They can’t tell whether your dancing is terrible, so they can only assume it’s good.
Running Man, then Shopping Cart, then Chainsaw, you present pony land with the full array of humanity’s artistic failings in dance form. Your face is burning red the entire time, but you know that hesitating for even a second would give away your fraudulence, making you look that much dumber. Confidence is the only way to sell it, so you channel Billy Mays and offer more.
Pinkie seamlessly bounces between doing her own thing and mirroring you, somehow making your stiff, jerky movements look complementary to her fluid, graceful ones. Where she really shines, though, is when she’s in her own little world, twisting and twirling like a disco ballerina. Every time your eyes meet, she gives you an encouraging smile and a playful nudge.
No matter what ridiculous move you do, it only seems to make her happier. Not just entertained, genuinely happy. Joyful. Another synonym. She moves like she was born to boogie, dancing around you with such energy and laughter that you slowly stop caring about how you look, surrendering yourself to enjoying the moment. It’s something you thought you would never willingly do, yet here you are. Fucking ponies, man.
No. It’s not ponies, it’s Pinkie. That beautiful, wonderful little horse. She can somehow bring out the tiniest piece of you and make it blossom, even if only for a moment. You wish there was a less gay-sounding way to word that.
As the most recent song comes to a close, you start to lose steam. Pinkie, apparently sensing this, grabs you by the hands and spins with you off the dance floor. She’s laughing, you’re laughing, and you still can’t believe how much you enjoyed yourself. She rears up to hug you, grinning like she just received the best present in the world. She doesn’t say anything at first, just holding onto you for a moment.
“Thank you so much, Nonny,” she eventually says, her soft voice warming your soul. “I’m so glad I got to dance with you.”
“I… actually had fun,” you admit.
“Me too.” All that energy from before seems tempered now. It’s still bubbling underneath, but no longer in danger of exploding outward. Pinkie sighs contentedly and releases you, giving you a kiss on the cheek as she does. Your face is already flushed, so your spaghettification is thankfully less noticeable.
“How about we get some drinks and just relax for a bit?” you offer.
Pinkie nods with a smile, tracing a hoof on the ground. “I’d love to,” she says.
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Yep. If anyone manages to drag me onto a dance floor I'm one of those swing-your-arms-back-and-forth-and-snap kind of dancers.
Aw, you know you're into a girl when you're willing to embarrass yourself for her... For Nonny it was dancing, for me it was going on a rollercoaster when I'm afraid of heights.
they gonna kiss under the stars
Yay more chapters!!! Keep it up!!!
I sure hope they get together soon <3
pff i dont even know a single dance move, i just violently shake my body
(also, thanks for the update. i'll assume the next will take a while but i'm willing to wait.)
Yay~! MORE PINK LOVE DAMMIT!
IT IS BACK!!!!
I'll be honest, after Rarity butting into their relationship with her unrealistic romanticism, and Pinkie Pie saying in an earlier chaper that he will love her and no isn't an answer she'll accept I am dreading where this story is going. I don't want to see them in a romance, because with what's been seeded into it makes the prospect of them in love seem poisoned. Like Anon will be forced to do so and enjoy it, and that "No" is never an option that will be possible even if a character wanted to and everyone is okay with this.
Really, Pinkie Pie just isn't the same wholesome character she was before. That's the one that made the story good, not this lovestruck Pinkie.
Fact!
10245449
Concern with characterization is something I’m open to. I’ve fucked up characterization before and I’d like to know when I do it. But from what I can tell, you’re complaining about your own imagined version of Pinkie here. At no point did she ever say she wouldn’t take no for an answer, you said that. Three times now. I haven’t edited Pinkie’s POV chapter at all, you can go back and read what she actually says.
You also implied twice that Pinkie is letting Rarity's delusions influence her. The problem is that she doesn’t know anything about Rarity's thoughts or what she’s been doing, so I don’t know where you got that idea from. I’ve skimmed back through to try and figure that one out, and I came up with nothing. The only “seeding” taking place here has been from words you added.
10245504
I'm aware of that, and I admit I'm partially projecting my own interpretation of things on the story. I don't mean things were literally like what I said. What I mean is that when the romantic subplot began it seems like events pushed the story in a direction that makes (from my point of view) the two of them being romantically involved appear like a negative influence on their overall relationship without later events countering this to push in the opposite direction to counter those parts. Without that it feels like its overshadowed their interqctions.
Edited.
10245534
By taking things back in the other direction, I assume you mean showing that a closer relationship would have positive effects on each other? So far, I’ve tried to convey that Pinkie has grown more restrained with her pinkness, and Anon is slowly becoming less pessimistic and more outgoing. If I haven’t achieved that, it’s on me. I just want you to know what my intentions with the characters are. I’m not trying to force two incompatible people together with no changes from either one.
Goddamn I just want to slather myself in it and slide down a hill.
I think it's cute.
10245218
DO THE MARIO
I'll have you know that I can't suck at dancing because I have no concept of what a dance is supposed to even be so there. You're wrong.....clearly...
I am more of a awkwardly bounce to the beat and headbang a bit kinda guy....give me a metal show any day.
That was a fantastic chapter. I laughed hard at the cabbage dance and loved the interaction of pinkie and anon. When will the next chapter of this wonderful story come?
10245894
Soon™
Bruh.
I don't suck look at these moves
/o/ \o\ /o/ \o\ /o/ \o\ /o/ \o\ /o/ \o\ /o/ \o\
Your dialogue for Pinkie is spot. On. I'm both inspired and jealous, congrats. I cannot wait to see more from this, you are killing it!
Yes. The story is back!
Yay finally a new chapter for my favorite personal growth story
Yeepee ! New chapter !!!
10245546
I do see that andcit is good, but I meant romantically. What you mentioned is them being good friends, which I see as seperate from them being romantically involved.
This part here is why. In her chapter when she affirmed her desire to pursue Anon, she did so in a manner that was very much negative. That's what I meant by bring things back in the other direction, because refusing to accept that the person she has her sights on might say no to a relationship says their friendship isn't as important to her anymore. That's why as-is I think they shouldn't be a couple because they woukd likely be both happier as friends rather than as a romantic couple if Pinkie doesn't take an about face on some (but not all) of her intentions.
Holy fuck that caught me off guard.
10247325
I replied to your first comment on that section by saying that Pinkie sees it like this: if Anon rejects her, she won’t stop loving him, but will instead try to become the pony he can love. Your immediate response 9828894 was to (again) insert the idea that Pinkie wouldn’t take no for an answer, which categorically never happened, then agreeing that such a thing wasn’t my intention. Fast forward to now, and you’re using that same section to make the exact same argument. If you want to ignore my input and cite death of the author, I’m 100% on board; I usually prefer death of the author myself when I read. However, that would still mean you’re making assumptions based on your own imagined version of the scene, and then using those assumptions to build further assumptions in later chapters.
^This is completely fair, and I see where you’re coming from. I’ll try to make any character changes appear more romance-specific in the future, but there’s not a whole lot of story left for that.
10247393
I’m proud of that line.
10247402
You should be lmao
I thought you died
10247553
Only on the inside
I can't dance either. Even at pony con rav's, I just do the Charlie Brown dance (which if you're unfamiliar with the term, just watch a Peanut's movie and when they're all dancing, you go with one of those).
At least Anon is a better dancer than I am lol
Oh no, you've perfectly described why I don't dance
10247637
Were you revived by a therapist necromancer?
Thanks for the chapter, filled me with the warm fuzzies!
This is literally the best. I eagerly await the next chapter. It's great.
Out of all the pinkie x human romances.
I believe it's safe to say this one tops them all
Have you thought of making cuddlefics?
Those tender scenes really make me want my pillow and fall asleep.
10387458
I’ve thought about it, but I don’t know if I can make it work. It’s not a genre I’m familiar with since I don’t really read cuddlefics.
10389855
Dude
I think you have a gift you don't realize you have
Is this going to continue?
10437191
I was aiming more at the parallel to living your life, there... I think. There's no clear way to do it, and everybody and their fucking aunt will try to tell you what to do.
My point being: the only one that's supposed to like the results is you; everyone else can go fuck themselves with a rusted rake coated in AIDS. ;]
This story is rad. I wish I had a scootapone around to counsel me in matters of the heart, tho. I hear she's good.
Welp see you next pandemic for the next update
I love Pinka Ponk and this story - I really hope you continue this someday! <3
Corona man...
Just here to say thanks for the excellent fan fiction. It gave me diabetes.
Very good fic, was dying laughing at the ‘war crimes’ description of twilight dancing :)
More than anything else, this fic is fun. It doesn’t take itself very seriously and the tone is just- *chef’s kiss* I had so much fun reading this and I definitely hope that there’s more to come.