Everything Is Fine
You turn off the faucet and dry your face. The you in the mirror looks just as pathetic as ever, but at least your breathing is normal and your face isn’t flushed anymore. You feel well enough to leave the bathroom, but you really don't want to. If Pinkie asks what's wrong, you have no idea how to answer.
Sighing at your reflection (smug bastard won again), you trudge back out into Nick's Knacks. The stallion behind the counter—you can only assume his name is Nick—gives you a polite smile and a wave, then goes back to staring at the front door.
Pinkie is nowhere in sight.
"Boop!" A pink hoof reaches down in front of your eyes and taps you on the nose.
Oh, of course. You couldn't see her because she was on your head. That makes absolutely perfect sense.
"Hey, Pinks," you say while reaching up for a revenge boop. Your hand passes through nothing but air until it reaches your head.
What.
"Why are touching your head, Nonny?"
For your own sanity, you decide not to respond.
"Are you sure you're okay?" Pinkie gives you a concerned look from her position on top of Nick's head. "You look sick. And not the good kind of sick Rainbow Dash likes to talk about; you look like the tummy ache and fever kind of sick."
Swallowing your nerves, you walk over to de-pinkify the confused store owner. "Yeah, I'm fine," you shakily reply.
"Reeeaally?" she says while grabbing your cheeks to prevent you from putting her down. Her bright blue eyes are shimmering with genuine concern, trying to hypnotize you so you can't look away. The effect is magnified by the fact that your faces are less than a foot apart. You can feel her breath on your skin, causing you to break out in goosebumps.
When your brain starts working again, you say, "I said I'm fine, Pinkie. I just got a little dizzy." Or at least that's what you try to say. What actually comes out sounds more like a choking giraffe mixed with baby babbling. For what seems like the hundredth time today, your brain has failed to perform at a critical moment. You really need to get that thing replaced soon.
"You don't sound fine," Pinkie hums suspiciously, her eyes narrowing. "If I find out you're actually sick, so help me Celestia, I will nurse you back to health so hard you won't know what being sick even means anymore! Got it?" She squeezes your cheeks for emphasis.
You can't tell if she's being serious or not, so you err on the side of caution and nod your head stupidly. Apparently satisfied, she releases your face and drops to the floor, trotting over to a rack of novelty magnets as if nothing had happened.
"She scares me," Nick whispers, shaking in place.
You don't say anything, unsure if the concept of distance applies to Pinkie's hearing.
When you leave the store, it’s with a coffee mug that says, "I went to Canterlot and got more than a lousy mug." You made sure to buy nothing else, because you’re not gonna let a mug tell you what to do. Pinkie bought three different hats, which makes sense considering how many costumes she seems to have at the ready. Two of them are resting on her mane with the third on her tail.
"See, Nonny? I told you I'm not a unicorn," she says proudly, trotting ahead of you.
Her tail is somehow latched onto your pants, forcing you to follow close behind as she leads you into the next store.
Five hours, nineteen stores, and way too many ponies later, you're jogging to the train station with Pinkie in your arms.
"C'mon, Nonny, hurry up! The train leaves in six minutes!"
"I could go faster,” you pant, “if you'd walk.”
Pinkie had graciously demanded to carry the bags containing your mug plus everything she bought, but her method of "carrying" involved holding the bags while you held her.
"But I'm guarding the stuff! If I'm not here to keep watch, some crook could snatch them away without you noticing."
"You can keep watch from the ground, you know."
"Yeah, but I like this way better." Her flawless logic stumps you, as always.
You make it in the nick of time, flashing your tickets from Ponyville and stumbling onto the train right before the doors close. Pinkie wiggles out of your arms, balancing the bags on her back using her black magic. You flop into the closest seat and immediately realize no one else is in the car. Pinkie hops into the seat next to you.
Your legs are terribly sore. You've walked more today than in the past few months combined. You aren't sure if you should feel proud or ashamed of this fact. One thing you are certain of is that you aren't exactly excited for the future. If this was just one day, how bad will a week be? A month?
No, you shouldn't think like that. Today wasn't so bad. It was just exhausting and a little uncomfortable. Maybe tomorrow will be less-
"Nonny?" Pinkie's voice cuts through your introspection. "Do you not like hugs?"
What? Where did that come from? You give her a confused look.
"I hug you all the time," she continues, "and I thought you were fine with it. But then when you got a lot of hugs today, you looked really nervous." She seems to shrink into herself, her shoulders almost touching her ears as she stares at the floor. "Have you just been pretending to like my hugs?"
What the fuck kind of backwards-ass pony logic is that? Does she actually think hugging strangers is the same thing as hugging a friend? Fucking ponies, man.
"Pinkie." She doesn't respond. "Pinkie, are you being serious?"
"Yes!" she exclaims, finally looking up. "I don't- I don't want to be the reason you're uncomfortable."
Well, she kinda screwed that pooch already, but not in the way she thinks. Friendly hugs are a completely different thing from touching mouth parts to face parts.
"Pinkie," you sigh. "I grew up in a very different place. People usually only hug other people they're familiar with. Hugging a stranger is... not normal for me. At all."
It's Pinkie's turn to look confused. "But it's just a hug. Hugs are never a bad thing."
"No, I guess not, but where I'm from hugs are more... intimate? I guess?" Maybe that's the wrong word, but how else are you supposed to explain why hugging a goddamn stranger is just not okay?
"Intimate?" Pinkie parrots, looking distant for a moment. "But you're okay with hugging me?"
"Yes, and maybe a couple other ponies, but that's about it. In fact, I actually like hugging you. You're soft and you smell nice."
That sounded way better in your head. Hearing it out loud makes you reflexively want to cringe until your face implodes, but you barely manage to hold it in.
Thankfully, Pinkie doesn't appear to have noticed. Her cheeks are now a dark shade of pink, almost red. She's probably embarrassed because she realized how ridiculous she was acting. What an oblivious little horse.
The ride back seems a hell of a lot shorter. Maybe it's because you aren't being forced to learn about the history of rocks. When the train pulls into the station in Ponyville, Pinkie once again takes the bags, but she doesn't demand offer to be carried this time. You’re silently grateful, as your poor legs can barely handle your own weight at the moment. The awful "shoes" Rarity made haven't helped at all, not that you would ever say it out loud.
Pinkie’s tail once again grabs hold of your pants (your pocket, you realize), but she doesn't try to pull you along. She seems content to go at whatever tired pace you want. As you plod behind her, she hums the same familiar song. It's much different from how she talks and acts. The melody is slow and gentle, almost like a lullaby. You've never actually heard her sing, but you kind of want to now.
By the time you reach your house, Pinkie is just finishing her song. Her tail finally releases your pants and she hands you your new mug. Hands? Hoofs? Whatever.
"Bye, Nonny!" She rears up to hug you, standing at the perfect height to nuzzle your neck, which she happily proceeds to do. The hug goes on way longer than necessary. You don't mind. "You smell nice, too." Aaaaand it's awkward. You can't even tell her to stop making it weird this time because you did it first. You fucking weirdo.
Pinkie lets go with a sigh, beaming a toothy smile up at you. "I'll see you in the morning, okay?"
"Yeah, see you then." You wave, feeling silly because she lives right across the street.
You tiredly walk into your bedroom, checking the clock. Seven thirty-eight. It feels so much later than that. Despite wanting nothing more than to sleep, you buckle down and drag yourself to the shower. The warm water feels fantastic after walking all day.
You get out and dry off, then grab something to eat even though you aren’t hungry. You force down an apple and a pear because you're just that badass, then return to the bathroom to brush your teeth. When you finish, you feel pretty good. Really good, actually. You did everything you were supposed to do today, plus you're now a little bit less of a disgusting slob. Good job, Anon.
Sure, there were some bumps in the road, but things are starting to look up for you. You just need to not have any more sudden bouts of social retardation, which doesn’t sound too hard. Today’s incident was probably just a one time thing.
Yep. No more spaghetti. Definitely. 
The monthly streak lives on, shitdicks. That's kind of a sad thing to be proud of, now that I think about it.
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... ... Just.
this is adorably simply adorable
Yeah, that's honestly a fair assumption.
Speaking as someone who last updated any of his projects in early August, I can't see how being proud of a monthly update is disappointing. All about perspective I suppose. Grass is always greener the next pasture over.
Anyway, story is going nice. I look forward to this as a feel-good treat whenever it updates. Cheers me up in a way that isn't guffaws and boisterous laughter but rather a calm and gentle happiness that comes with the narrative style and easygoing progression. It's super nice.
well.
you made it.
now to wait... wait a minute... there wasnt a chap... no it was the fourth...
nm your good!
monthly updates are better than no updates man. consistency.
Good ol Pinkie X human with Pinkie being just enough in character for it to be believable.
You'd be surprised how rare that is.
Before long, the legend of the Pink Mare shall reach all corners of Equestria. Only then will her reign of adorableness and crazy truly begin... mostly adorableness though.
I'm looking forward to seeing whether the CMC do him in through their misadventures, or just pure insulin shock.
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Pinkie, along with Discord, are probably the two hardest characters to write for. Not sure if it has anything to do with them being my favorite ship or not.
Man i love this fic can anyone link me to any like this?
Gahhhh... Cuteness overload... [MIST_CHASER_BRAIN.EXE has crashed]
I love this story, honestly. Never mind the fact that one of the largest reasons I love this story is because I am one of those retards that never gets anything accomplished and has such low self confidence that even the IDEA of being something other than a cashier scares me. Like Anon, yay me! But unlike anon I'll never actually manage to get out of this hole while he has Pinkie, yaaaay!
8578641
Are you me?
8578650
We are one my dude, united in our dislike of our selves and nonexistent confidence.
8578650
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Fam.
In other news, grass grows, the sun is hot, and Pinkie defies physics. Nuff said.
christ this is sweet i am happily awaiting more spaghetti falling pink cuddle horse antics
Mmmm, this was a nice chapter well done, good work as always Merr
I love how this story is going, it's fantastic and is fulla feeeeeeeeeels.
<3
some button combination deleted my comment so I try to make it short, when you ask I explain it more.
I was slightly dissapointed remembering to get that easily blushing main char again
Then I was happy that Pinkie did that too.
Then I thought she was cute while being sad about the hugs.
Now I just hope that while I liked it last time with Rarity having that smug grin, that it was only Rarity hoping for some romance and not really "knowing anything". I just hate it if the characters act like they noticed it months before everyone else, I don't think it has to be always that, but that it "can" turn out like how it turns out with him and Pinkie a bit later.
They are just like that one guy that thought someone loved him just because she had to look in his direction in the classroom once or twice while looking around.
However now after reading a comment I kind of want Pinkie to accidently act really teasingly, doing stuff that would even embrass her ponie friends and herself when she would finally notice what she is doing. Do you know what I mean? Her doing something that even isn't exactly normal for Ponies only for her being the one who doesn't really knows that.
I'm having a gosh darn heart attack from all this cute
Pinkie is a balm for my soul.
I need more of this. It's too pure.
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So, does this mean that being a cashier is not scary? Is it possible to learn this power? Teach me, oh great master!
Dude, I could read this story all day! You do words good, my friend!
Monthly, or not. At least you're regular.
This is way better then that Twilight story.
Twilight:
Not you, the other one.
i'm somehow becoming gayer by reading this.... i'm still not sure about sexuality and this site is making me question my entire life
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What makes this story different in that exception? Because I’m confused and a bit upset on how fast this is going with all the lovely dovey stuff and how the majority of the readers are gushing on how “cute” this is. Don’t get me wrong I like how the story started, but I’m not sure if I can continue having this much frosting and ice cream on this Fimfic. I get pinkie is helping him on being more outward and making friends but the fact they haven’t even made it to the party, and yet the author are just Cupidding this up. And it makes me frown a bit. Weren’t they started as friends like a week ago according to the story? I mean I’ve read the prequel for this story. This guy is an introvert and likes being lonely and a downer I guess. If the author did a time skip I would get it. There isn’t any conflict either, it’s like if any “natural” conflict could develop, the author would change the topic, constantly. I mean we read what Annon thinks and anything negative or criticism that he would think on pinkie would just go 180. Sorry for the rant, I shouldn’t do this kinda negativity on this kind of story. It’s just that I need to vent or maybe have a debate or an argument with someone.
but spaghetti is the only pasta worth eating
and bananas
but bananas are not pasta
66.media.tumblr.com/5aa0c14c050cb35efd0ad10d518c2e60/tumblr_mwmg16DV6i1s853uvo1_640.jpg
i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/540/811/e45.png
(I considered using a variation of this w/ Sunset in it, but decided against it after all)
Then again, I can't really blame him, you know? If you can't love yourself, how are you supposed to accept the love of others? How would you even recognize it, if you don't believe yourself worthy of affection?
I don’t see how?