• Published 18th May 2017
  • 23,372 Views, 899 Comments

You're Getting Better - 2Merr



Friendship is a give-and-take relationship. Fortunately for you, Pinkie doesn't ask for much, and she has plenty to give. Maybe it's time to start giving back.

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Type 3 Diabetes

Before you can be dragged off to god-knows-where, you firmly plant your feet and assert yourself. You at least want to know what you're going to suffer through beforehand.

"Hold up, Pinks. What does 'everything' mean?"

Pinkie skids to a stop and turns to face you with an eager smile. "Weeeeeeell~" she says, taking a deep breath.

You close your eyes and mentally prepare yourself for the incoming torrent of words. You really should have chosen a better way to phrase that question. She's surely going to list every possible activity in Equestria, and probably a few impossible ones.

In a few moments, the avalanche will begin.

Any second now...

...

You crack open an eye to see the pink pony puffing out her cheeks with a look of serious contemplation on her face. When she sees you looking at her, she slowly lets out the breath she was holding.

"Well... maybe everything is a bit much for you," she admits with a sheepish grin.

God bless this wonderful horse. You've only called her friend for a couple of weeks, but she already knows your limits.

Suddenly, her eyes light up and she gasps. "How about we go swimming? You can swim, right? Even if you can't, I can teach you! You know, I taught one of my sisters how to swim, and she hated water before that, so I must be a great teacher! Besides, it's kinda hot out today, so even if you don't learn very quickly, we can still cool off and have fun building sandcastles and playi-"

You cut off Pinkie's rambling by gently clamping her muzzle shut with both hands. It seems the torrent of words came after all. Her lips poke out and keep wiggling before she realizes no sound is coming out. She blinks and stops trying to talk. You let go and look her square in the baby blues.

"I can swim, Pinkie," you say in your signature 'I-ain't-got-time-for-this-shit' voice.

"Oh. Ehehe..." Her ears flatten out and she lowers her head, looking more than a little embarrassed.

Unfortunately for you, upset horses are your kryptonite. And this time, it's completely your fault instead of only partly. Way to go, jackass. You made an adorable, defenseless pony feel bad. Your parents must be so proud.

You let out a small sigh and wrap your arms around Pinkie's stomach, using her natural pony squish to help you get a grip. You lift her up and over until she rests squarely on your back, her front hooves automatically latching onto your shoulders.

"Sorry," you mumble, reaching back to go for an apology boop. Seeming to forgive you, Pinkie meets you halfway, her giggles letting you know you reached your target. "Swimming sounds like a great way to kill a couple hours. Which way are we going, cap'n?"

"Depends! We can play in the stream near the Apples’ place, we can play with the river serpent in the Everfree forest, we can go to the lake (it's basically a beach), we can go to the forbidden mirror pool, we can sneak into the Spoon family's pool house. There's a whole bunch of places to go!" she exclaims, swinging a hoof through the air.

You're pretty sure at least two of those options are illegal, and there's no way in hell you're going anywhere near a river serpent.

"Uh, the stream or the lake, I guess. Whichever one has less people." You've already dealt with a dozen ponies today, so you'd like a break from all that.

It was actually just Rarity, but it felt like a dozen ponies, so it was a dozen ponies.

"Pfft! You're the only people here, silly!" Pinkie teases, playfully batting the top of your head. To your mild surprise, her comment doesn't sting like you thought it would. You must have built up an emotional resistance from all those steamy one-on-none sessions with Mr. Corner. Or maybe it doesn't hurt because you know Pinkie didn't mean it in a malicious way. You aren't sure. This whole 'friendship' thing is confusing.

"You know what I meant. Stream or lake?"

"To the stream, noble steed!" Pinkie commands with all the adorable authority she can muster. It's quite a lot, so you do as you're told.

Backpack in place, you march down the cobblestone street, leaving the Circus Tent Boutique behind. You don't ask Pinkie for directions because you don't need them; you're a man, dammit! Also, you already know where the stream is.

Ponyville being a small town, you reach your destination in no time. The sounds of voices and splashing can be heard as you get closer. When you turn the final corner, you see three fillies, no taller than your knees, laughing and playing in the water.

Swallowing your pride, you ask Pinkie, "Which way is the lake?"

You feel her slump against you. "Aww, come on, Nonny," she pleads. "Those three are super-duper-extra-scooper friendly. I promise you'll like them- No, you'll love them!"

You want to argue your case, but one of them has already spotted you. The white unicorn filly hops out of the water, beaming excitedly.

"Hi, Mister Amonamiss! What are you doing outside?" the filly squeaks with an inquisitive tilt of her head.

The voice crack. The way she mispronounced your name. The bright smile and large eyes. This is precisely what you wanted to avoid. These ponies are too damn cute and friendly. There's no way you won't upset this filly in some way. You've already fucked up once today, so you want to avoid a repeat at all costs.

"Mmm," you respond intelligently. She just blinks in response, tilting her head the other way.

Luckily, Pinkie Pie comes to your rescue. She pops over your shoulder and waves at the confused filly.

"Hiya, Sweetie Belle! Me and Nonny were just about to go swimming! Mind if we join you?"

Worst rescue ever. Two out of ten, would not recommend.

"Aww, y'all couldn't have come a few minutes earlier? We were just about to leave 'cause Ah got chores to do."

Oh god, not another one. This one even has an accent. And a goddamn bow in her hair. You were not ready for this.

"Just a few minutes, huh?" Pinkie whispers in a mischievous tone. She hops off your back and steps away from the small group, rubbing her front hooves together. "I'm sure we can fix th-"

"Pinkie Pie!" The third filly, a pegasus, finally joins her friends, her tiny wings buzzing like a bumblebee every few seconds. "You know what Twilight said about using her time travel stuff without adult supervision."

"Nonny's an adult!" Pinkie says confidently.

"Pinkie, no" you groan, finally finding your voice. "No time travel, please. I can barely deal with normal magic as it is."

"I know, I know, I was just joking," she laughs, waving a hoof dismissively.

Sure she was.

"Anyway," Pinkie says as she bounces back to your side. "I guess we'll see you girls later, then!"

The three fillies bunch together and yell, "Bye, Pinkie Pie! Bye Mister Amonamiss!"

Their combined power—the bright smiles, the tiny, buzzing wings, the squeak, the accent, and the goddamn bow. It's all too much for your cold heart to bear.

You smile.

"Bye," you say, raising your hand in a halfhearted wave.

When the heart attacks are out of sight, you turn to walk toward the stream with a little more energy in your step, a beaming Pinkie bouncing beside you.

Author's Note:

The Crusaders are responsible for 86% of heart-related hospitalizations in Ponyville.