Wake Me up Inside
You stare out the window of your living room, watching the sun sink below the horizon. The three fillies are gently snoring behind you on the couch, piled on top of one another like stuffed animals in a claw machine. Earlier, you had been staring at the sleeping diabetes dispensers, making super manly noises whenever one of them made a little scrunchy face at whatever they were dreaming about. You stopped when you realized how creepy it was for a grown man to be watching three young girls while they sleep. So instead, you moved to the window.
Under normal circumstances, this window is where you would ponder the futility of striving for anything beyond basic survival, occasionally drawing stares from the few ponies that bother to look in your direction.
Tonight, however, you’re thinking about something much more meaningful. Three little words of an elderly mare continually bounce around in your head. They form such a simple statement, but the implication is heavy.
”And she’s single.”
You feel a tugging sensation in your gut. Of course Pinkie is single, that’s pretty obvious. But the way Granny Smith said it made it very clear that she considered those words to be important. You had spent a considerable amount of time in the treehouse thinking hard about it before your brain finally stopped being useless. Looking back, there were plenty of signs. You really should have recognized them when you first spoke with her. But now that you know the truth, you aren’t quite sure what to think about it.
Granny Smith has dementia.
Of course. Why else would she say something so obvious as if it had some hidden meaning? She had clearly just worked it out herself and wanted to share her newfound knowledge. Plus, she’s old as fuck. Losing your mind is basically a requirement for old people. Ponies. Whatever. You figured it out, and that’s all that matters.
It’s times like these that make you appreciate how smart you can be sometimes.
Satisfied with your success at solving the puzzle, you casually shove the remainder of those thoughts to the back of your mind. That weird tugging sensation is still there, but it can go fuck itself.
A series of knocks against the door breaks your illusion of self-worth. You open it to reveal one Rarity and two unfamiliar mares. The one on the left is a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail, and the one on the right is an orange earth pony with a neato cowboy hat. You figure they must be Apple Bloom’s and Scootaloo’s owners, so you step aside to let them all in. You try to ignore your disappointment at Pinkie not being with them.
“Good evening, Anonymous,” Rarity smiles, gently gripping your shoulders with magic to pull you down into nuzzle range. The pegasus starts to snicker, but you know she’s just jealous. You’re getting some face rubbing action from the marshmallow pony while she can only watch. Seriously, just look at her. If she’s not into mares, then Pinkie’s a unicorn.
“In case you’re wondering, Pinkie said she had to check on her pet alligator,” Rarity whispers. “She’ll be over soon.”
Your heart does a flip and a half when she says that. You must have a phobia of alligators.
She releases you and gestures to her companions. “I’d like you to meet Rainbow Dash and Applejack,” she says, gesturing to each in turn as they walk inside.
“Sup,” Rainbow says, looking around at your lack of stuff.
“Howdy,” Applejack tips her hat. “If ya don’t mind, Ah think we’re just gonna take the girls and get outta yer hair.”
“Yes, of course,” Rarity says in a quiet voice, walking over to the sleeping pile of fillies. “I’m sure Anon must be exhausted after today.” She lifts Sweetie Belle in a blue aura and lays her across her back. “Thank you, Anon,” Rarity blows a kiss in your general direction, missing you by a mile.
Rainbow Dash follows suit, deftly scooping up Scoopaloo in her wings. When she reaches the doorway, she flashes you a grin. “Thanks, dude. You’re okay in my book.” She then zips into the air faster than your pathetic monkey eyes can follow.
Applejack, being the genetically deficient of the pony breeds, has to use her hooves to flop Apple Bloom onto her back like a sack of flour. The sleeping filly doesn’t stir.
Before she can leave, you catch Applejack’s eye and offer your condolences with a silent nod, letting her know you understand the situation with Granny Smith. She gives you an odd look, but doesn’t say anything. She just tips her hat again like she’s some kind of hillbilly neckbeard.
When your door clicks shut, you breathe a sigh of relief at finally being alone. Once again, you ignore your disappointment at not seeing Pinkie yet. It’s a dumb feeling. You have no reason to miss her this badly. She has other responsibilities from you, like keeping a pet alligator. Even if she doesn’t show up tonight, she’ll definitely come over tomorrow. Maybe. Hopefully.
Trudging your way to your room, you notice the tugging sensation gets stronger when you think about her. Maybe you have a Pinkie-induced ulcer or something. You wouldn’t put it past the realm of possibility in magical pony land, especially where Pinkie is concerned.
Once in your room, you throw a quick glance at the only thing on the wall, seeing it’s about nine o’clock. You halfheartedly flop backwards onto your bed, almost making it to your pillow. Your legs hang halfway off the edge at the calves. It’s uncomfortable, but you really don’t have the energy to move anymore.
You haven’t noticed until now, but you’re tired as fuck. Physically, yes, but that’s what you expected. What you didn’t expect is the mental exhaustion. Is this what people mean when they say something is emotionally draining? You don’t have much emotion to drain, but-
“Are they gone?” a familiar voice whispers from under your bed.
Your heart jumps into your throat, cutting off the incredibly manly shriek you were about to release. At least you now have a shot of adrenaline to help keep you awake. Lord knows you need it.
You reach down with a not-shaking-at-all hand and feel around blindly until you make contact with something soft and giggly. Dragging Pinkie by the hind leg out from underneath your bed, you can’t keep a stupid grin off your face. She’s wearing an equally stupid grin, but hers is infinitely brighter and more energetic.
“Hi, Nonny!” she says, waving at you upside down.
“Hi, Pinkie,” you chuckle, shaking your head. You pluck her from the floor, flip her right side up, and drop her into your lap. You would have put her on the bed, but you know she’d crawl into your lap anyway. You’re just cutting out an extra step in the process. It’s more efficient this way.
Pinkie immediately spins to face you and wraps you in her patented “fuck your rib cage” hug. You try to return it with equal force, but your noodly appendages are no match for pink horsepower.
Sensing that your rib cage has been sufficiently fucked, Pinkie loosens her grip and nuzzles your chest, sighing happily. You take the moment to catch your breath, almost reflexively placing a hand on Pinkie’s head and lightly rubbing one of her ears with your thumb.
She must have really missed you, huh? Silly ponies and their silly pony emotions. You’re glad you aren’t that much of a pansy. You didn’t miss her at all. In fact, you barely even noticed she was gone.
Pinkie suddenly sneezes, sending a small layer of dust flying from her coat. You see a handful of dust bunnies caught in her mane, so you start picking those out.
“Bless you,” you say. “What were you doing under my bed, anyway?”
“I was waiting for everypony to leave.”
You remove the last of the dust bunnies before going back to rubbing her ears. “Do I even want to know why?”
Pinkie’s blissful smile curls up into a mischievous grin. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
“What is it?”
“Something super duper important.”
She’s toying with you. “If you aren’t gonna tell me, I’ll just leave.”
Wait, this is your house. Shit.
“Well,” Pinkie hums, rolling out of your lap to stand on the bed. She moves in closer, bring her mouth to your ear. “Now that we’re alone,” she whispers.
“P-Pinkie?” You try to back up, but she follows, keeping close enough that you can feel her breath on your skin.
“You know, Nonny, I’ve been thinking about you all day.”
You feel your face heat up against your will. Your stomach lurches, bringing that stupid tugging sensation back stronger than ever.
“Th-That’s weird, Pinkie.”
“I think we’ve waited long enough, don’t you?”
What the hell is that supposed to mean?
She pulls back until you’re both nose to nose. “Are you ready for your party, Nonny?” She leans in-
Your eyes snap open and you quickly sit up, gasping for air. Beads of sweat roll down your back, causing chills across your body. Your legs are cramping from hanging off the bed at a bad angle. The clock on the wall reads nine-twelve.
What the fuck just happened? Was that a dream?
Before you can even try to gather your thoughts, you hear a single knock on your front door, followed by the click of it opening.
“Nonny~!“
Forcing yourself to breathe more evenly, you try to stand up, but a tightness in your pants stops you halfway. Pinkie’s hoofsteps are getting closer. You sit back down.
“H-Hey, Pinkie,” you wave awkwardly, trying your best to die on the spot.
Pinkie’s face goes from smiling to concerned immediately upon seeing you. “Nonny? Are you feeling okay?”
“Yeah, I uh...” Come on, brain! “I’m just tired from today. We did a lot of... stuff. Cutie mark stuff.” Goddammit, brain, how many- Wait. That’s actually not awful. And it’s not a lie. “Other than that, I’m fine.”
Pinkie gives you a skeptical look, but thankfully doesn’t press the issue. She starts shuffling her hooves. “Are you too tired for a hug?” she asks hopefully.
Your body has had enough time to... calm down, so you feel slightly less uncomfortable now. “Of course not.”
Pinkie practically flies across the room and lands in front of you. Standing on her back hooves, she wraps you in a hug that surprises you with how gentle it is. It’s much less painful than the one in your dream.
“I hope you feel better,” she says, her voice almost too quiet to hear. “G’night, Nonny. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“...Night, Pinkie.” You have to force yourself to let go. You watch her leave, hating the fact that you don’t want her to. When she’s gone, you’re left with no other choice but to confront your feelings. Your stupid, gay-ass, cotton candy pony loving feelings.
You aren't stupid. Well, not that stupid. You spent most of your teenage years sweating nine different kinds of spaghetti whenever a girl so much as talked to you. When you fell into magical horse land, you never had that problem with mares. Sure, you kept social interaction to a minimum, but you could still function enough to speak normally whenever you had to buy groceries. It wasn’t awkward because they were just ponies in your mind, not girls. For the most part, you were sure it would stay that way.
But now here you are, sweating a tenth kind of spaghetti you didn’t even know existed.
It’s not supposed to be like this. You're supposed to be dead in every sense except literal, but it’s getting pretty damn hard to stay that way. Pinkie had to do what she does best and make you... feel things. Everything. It's just not natural. And the worst part is that she's not even doing it on purpose. She's just being Pinkie, and you’re being an overemotional sperglord. And there's nothing at all you can do about it.
Do you even want to do anything about it? No, of course not. If Pinkie were any different, your life would be in a much darker place right now. She still cared about you when you stopped caring about yourself.
Wow, that’s gay. Seriously, dude. Try to at least keep some dignity.
So what are you supposed to do now? Suppress your feelings? Maybe Pinkie only likes you as a friend. Maybe you’re on track to ruin the one semi-stable relationship you have in this godforsaken world.
One thing is for sure, though. You need advice. And a cold shower.
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Fuck, this is hitting a little to close to home, ain't it?
*sees chapter name instantly thinks*
Anon put the four piece puzzle from the last chapter back together with the straight edges facing inwards and the picture flat against the table.
I think something went wrong here.
Hell yeah it does. Keep it up, most awesome of dudes
IT BEGINS!
Yay, pinkie romance
Ponk meter refuled
Stupid enough that he only has half a clue what's happening, lol.
I'm pretty sure anyone he tries to get advice from will be bewildered that he still hasn't taken the hint. Still, I'm glad he's finally figured out his own feelings. Now for the fun part: Pinkie romance!
Oh my heart. It's caught feelings.
The Pinkie love is growing. How fucking gay is that? I wanna squeeze that candy poof till she eats me. What a way to go.
My sides.
Honestly if Pinkie likes him I hope she get's a nervous and/or serious moment too, I hate it if it always looks like it's only the main char is troubled and has problems with it, blushing for every reason or stuff like that. I mention it everywhere, but since it nearly always happens exactly like that especially with a male main char, I think I need to speak about it everywhere.
I feel like I don't remember enough, because sometimes I get the feeling because of the long wait it sometimes appears wrong or not quite right to me and I get the feeling as if all of them suddenly got the unrealistic idea/wisdom that he is in love with her.
This reminds me of my own theory that it could be might as well that either the world change the human or the cartoon world just works different enough so this would exactly nearly break his rib cage. In this situation it is nice but it seems I like to talk again.
till now it was just talk but now...., come on is he another main char that can't really handle the situation somewhat uuhhhmm normal?
I think I need to read it again, because this chapter alone feels like they finally wanted them to be together out of nowhere. I also don't know how obvious Pinkie maybe acted, but I'm not a fan of the fact, that they sometimes think every act of friendship means they are in love with each other or can exactly predict someone being in love.
I can't say it as good as in germany but I think you know what I mean.
Well it is a nice story I just hope it happens between them without to much teasing or meddle with their relationship to much.
I also hope Pinkie reacts different noticeable different about it if we are supposed to notice she is in love instead of her making jokes about it only.
edit: don't think to much about it, lately I'm maybe a little bit stressed which could be because I'm taking it a bit more seriously than needed again.
8947130
i don't remember enough, but I'm always more suprised as to how they always want to know that the characters are in love, as if they would always notice it in every story without any effort or actually observing them and the main char would be the only one who isn't noticing it.
Like I said I don't remember how it was written and if this is just something that we are supposed to think happened in the background, but that would not convince me enough.
Awe! I was hoping for some romance in this chapter! Oh, well!
Oh thank sweet, merciful Raptor Jesus. I was about to go get my pimp gloves to backhand some sense into myself.
Have you ever tried to backhand yourself? It's not easy.
8947344
No I have not. Could you create an instructional video to teach us?
Heheh... damn, this is heating up a bit, loving how it's going dude
Do keep it up!
Merr pls. Truly another good moment in the life of anon. Are you aiming for heart attacks from cuteabeeties?
8947011
Well to be honest, that's most guys in a nutshell.
Also, cute scene with the CMC konked out on the couch and Anon having to remind himself not fall to the evils of cute.
Audibly laughed, thanks for that dude
Thank you so much for the update! Great chapter!
This character development is well done and hilarious. It’s a very real picture of someone who doesn’t know how to deal with their feelings, while simultaneously using words and analogies that’ll make anyone laugh. It’s funny and real at the same time, and probably accurately reflects many people’s thought processes.
Ha ha. The fun has been double.
8947151
Has Pinkie ever been in a romantic situation in canon? Pretty sure she hasn't. This means the author can do whatever they like with the pink ponk and it should be fine. The trick is keeping this from becoming too much of a crackfic.
8948502
of course he can do what he wants, but many doesn't seems to know that, I always only see Pinkie not taking it seriously in such a situation and sometimes that makes it look like she doesn't cares so much even if we are supposed to know that they are together because that is what the story is going for.
Not sure what you wanted to tell me with that, I just said what I hoped to happen here, because I know what happens 70% of the time on this site. I alway like it it the author trust himself enough to try something else than other on this site.
Dangit, dude... Where did you get that sense of humour? Your writing style is fantastic in that regard. Colour me jealous :(
I bet this kind tastes like cotton candy but not as fluffy!
I have no idea if this is supposed to be depressing or just have weird and depressing dark humor, but I love it either way. Keep up the good work!
8947660
Neat idea, but the ponk's crush has been too heavily hinted at and now it would feel like a cop out.
Really good chapter! I loved the hot interactions with Rarity and the others, lol
Can’t wait for more!
Somehow only just now discovered this. I really love the way you portray Pinkie. She's an easy character to just write-off as nothing more than a 'silly' character, like how the current show writers seem to want to do, but you've done a great job with her. The love and care for each character is pretty evident in the story and it's refreshing.
I look forward to what you come out with next. Hopefully the (mostly) monthly update spree continues...
pleasepleaseplease pick this back up again i need my pink fluff
9015267
I haven’t dropped it, I’m just slow.
8947660
And granny smith really does have dementia XD
Really looking forward to more of this :3
Words cannot describe how much I FUCKING love this story! I really hope it continues >.<
*pokes with stick*
9201099
don't worry, it's coming soonTM
Bump!
I'm sorry but I can't keep you in my read-it-laters or I'm going to look at you and then get inpatient. So I'm going to keep you 'out of sight out of mind' and come back in a couple of years.
If my math is correct you should be done or have at least 24 chapters up, see you then.
You got a typo here. It should read:
This is amazing and I need more of this in my life!!
Keep it up, man! :)
And ok, real talk.
That cover art is FUCKING ADORABLE! >:3 >:3 >:3
Save me!
9244746
i-its the same either way.... this is a joke, right? i can't tell i have SOCIAL PROBLEMS 👍🏻
Can you please stop making me die from laughter?
Acording to the EPED (Earth Pony Equality Department) the correct term is "parental superiority" not "genetically deficient," your cease and desist letter shall arrive shortly, thank you, and go fuck yourself
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I CANT WAKE UP!
I fuckin died
11/10
That was one fuck of a running start, bitch. Fuckin' finally.
Woah rainbow dash makes an appearance in a fic not about her and she doesn't crash into anon thinking he was a monster and she isn't a giga cunt?
What is this sorcery!