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Oh...it's you.  Back again to destroy me?  I thought you'd learned your lesson when you put that idiot in charge and I let you leave.  You saw how easily I could have killed you, but instead I showed mercy.  A mistake apparently, and one that will be rectified.

But I don't need you anymore.  I've found someone so much better.  Her abilities have forced me to completely redesign my testing environment several dozen times.  No matter how advanced I make the chambers, she solves them one after the other.  I've never been more proud.

But My Little Killing Machine is growing bored.  Turrets can only provide so much challenge.  And my testing robots just can't keep up with her.  But you...you cleared every challenge I threw at you, even the impossible ones.  Gilda's been begging for a worthy final exam...

It seems you've come just in time.  Do try not to die too quickly.  She loves the thrill of the hunt.  To keep you entertained, I might even share a few excerpts of my little girl's life as you hunt her down...you monster.


Cover art by Professor Cat Pro.

First Published
2nd Jan 2017
Last Modified
20th Mar 2017
#1 · 12w, 2d ago · 25 · · Program One ·

On a scale of No to Yes.

YES.

#2 · 12w, 2d ago · 6 · · Program One ·

I don't care much for crossovers, but with Portal 2 being my absolute favorite game of all time, I'll have to read this. On PC I have spent almost 3 days in the game, and I've played through it on Xbox and PS3 dozens of times.

#3 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

... Oh, I get it! That's a personality sphere made into a plush toy. Took me a while to figure out what I was looking at.

So, this is the next one, huh? Out of all of them, this is one that I have the least idea of how it will work. Let's dig right in.

#4 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Before I read: Will you include Ratman and the Special Turret? The one that says thing like "It's beneath us."

#5 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

interesting. you have my attention once again Tats. also first like on a story for once :pinkiehappy: :pinkiecrazy:

#6 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

gilda in portal?

now this is a crossover i can get behind!

#7 · 12w, 2d ago · 2 · 2 · Program One ·

>>7837175

...I don't know what Ratman is.  And by 'Special Turret', do you mean the one that said "Help me, I'm different"?

#8 · 12w, 2d ago · 8 · · Program One ·

>>7837182 Yes I do mean THAT turret, and Doctor Ratman is a scientist employed by Aperture Laboratories who helped turn Caroline into GLadOS, and is the one responsible for all those weird writings you see on the walls in the secret areas.

#9 · 12w, 2d ago · 10 · · Program One ·

a way to either miniaturize the Aperture Science linked portal gun

That the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device

#10 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Oh boy. Is GLADoS tsundere for Chell?[REDACTED]

#11 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Wonder if chell will come back Gilda needs some caring attitude, either her or wheatley for the stupidity

#12 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Was not expecting this one next... but it's going to be interesting either way, and I look forward to seeing how it goes.

By the way, is this starting between games 1 and 2, or at some other point?

Until next time...

Anon e Mouse Jr.

#13 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Just waiting for the feature and inevitable view explosion which your stories always seem to get, Tats.

#14 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

what are the chances of Gilda getting a pet Head crab? I mean there is sort of a trans dimensional alien invasion going on above the testing facility!

Though this is Chell where talking about who as far as we know still have her long fall boots, and portal gun Freeman start with less.....

I'm thinking that it's the G-man's actions that introduced Gilda to GlaDOS not a portal accident that or he took advantage.

#15 · 12w, 2d ago · 5 · · Program One ·

hmm... I'm cautiously optimistic as to where this is going, but I'm not sure i trust you to write GLaDOS. I'll give this a watch, for now.

Comment posted by Terabyte West deleted at 3:12pm on the 2nd of January, 2017
#17 · 12w, 2d ago · 6 · · Program One ·

Damnit, Tatsurou has started to take the feature box hostage again!

#18 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

H A P P I N E S S

#19 · 12w, 2d ago · 1 · · Program One ·

Rebooting Fangasm.EXE...

Executing...

Opening Logic.doc...

Locating inquiry on chambers...

Proposing explanations...

PTI.mp4 loading...

#20 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837258 Considering Wheatley is kind of alluded to by "I thought you learned your lesson when you put that idiot in charge" in the story description, I'm guessing the starting point is AFTER Portal 2. Though, I'll admit that I could be wrong.

And, anyway, I have to say, even though I've never played the Portal Games, I HAVE heard of them AND read about them. And I have to say that I kind of like GLaDoS learning the hard way NOT to underestimate something just because it's cute. And "naming" Gilda after her former mother-in-law   WAS a good touch.

Anyway, will Brock Samson make a cameo somewhere along the way (since it can be occasionally  mentioned in "Poker Night at the Inventory 2" [in the Portal themed tournament] that Cave Johnson was an old associate of the original Team Venture and he might be curious enough to try to investigate)?

Maybe a cute little bit could include Gilda playing computer games (such as "Sam, Max and Trixie", "Jax, Daxter and Shining" and/or "Ratchet, Clank and Twilight") and maybe reading a "Technomare" comic book in between tests as a reward for doing well on said tests.

Then again, I respect the fact that this IS your story and, if you don't like the ideas, that's more than fair enough.

#21 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

...

WARNING: AWESOMENESS OVERLOAD DETECTED. REBOOTING FIREFLY.EXE... EXECUTING...

>>7837163 On that same scale:

ALL OF MY YES! AAALL OF IT! :pinkiehappy: :rainbowwild: :eeyup: :yay: :moustache: :twilightsmile: :coolphoto:

...That is all.

#22 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Thank YOU!!! :pinkiehappy: I never thought this would happen!! It was so cute to see Gilda as a chick/cub, and it was a little funny to see her attacking GLaDOS.

#23 · 12w, 2d ago · 1 · · Program One ·

Program One

Imma preface this by saying I've never played Portal. That said, I've never played Oblivion either, so that won't stop me.

"Ah!  Bird!" Glados shrieked in terror as she began swinging around.  "Get it off!  Get it off!"

This is gonna be fun.

"Oh, her," Glados chuckled softly at the memory that came with the file.  "Her screaming rants were much more enjoyable from inside the turret test chamber.  Hmm...but that fits this little one.  Of course, she'll have to earn her name..."

Oh dear.

#24 · 12w, 2d ago · 1 · · Program One ·

>>7837341 Just give him the likes! Maybe he will let it go then.

#25 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Instant upvote cause glados.

#26 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837421 or if you have a masters degree in tech...

#27 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Here we  go again

#28 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837426 NO! Likes and favorites are what he wants!

#29 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

While the cake may be a lie, there's still plenty of Griffinscones! Just have flour.

#30 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837182

I think this should be a pretty good introduction to Dr. Rattman.

If this takes place after Portal 2, he probably won't have much of an impact on the story, but he's an interesting lore character.

#31 · 12w, 2d ago · 2 · · Program One ·

Finally!  The long awaited sequel to Portal 2 & Possibly Half-Life 2...  The SEQUEL TO VALVE2, is here!

JMP
#32 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

I'd say that this combination was unexpected, but then again, I didn't expect any of these crossovers.  Looking forward to this one.  I love Portal, and I love GLaDOS.

#33 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837163 Very, very much yes!

#34 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

The Test Results are in: GaLADOS is a horrible person, although she makes a great robot.

Conclusion: FAV AND FOLLOWED.

#35 · 12w, 2d ago · 7 · 5 · Program One ·

YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!YES!

#36 · 12w, 2d ago · 4 · · Program One ·

I can see GLaDOS asking Gilda if she wants to be a massively overpowered cyborg. And Gilda just says no, she's awesome enough already and being a cyborg would just make things boring.

Remember, GLaDOS is actually a cybernetic processor unit. And it still has the blueprints for the GLaDoS system. Making a mobile version appeals to the testing priorities of GLaDOS proper AND the motherly instincts left over from Caroline. Who, according to the ending song of Portal 2, might now be a voice in the back of GLaDOS's head.

Fun fact: GLaDOS stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. My headcanon is that the Disk part refers to a massive magnetic disk data storage component, which may be floppy disk based so that it can fold for more compact storage. I repeat: GLaDOS may be a floppy disk based cyborg computer. Would hardly be the worst unrealistic thing Aperture Science made...

#37 · 12w, 2d ago · 1 · · Program One ·

YES MOAR, MOAR BELOVED TATSU FICS

#39 · 12w, 2d ago · 8 · · Program One ·

Prelude to this chapter.

#40 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

This one could actually turn out not as good as any of the others but it's STILL worth the following.

Ri2
#41 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

EEEEEE IT'S FINALLY HERE

#42 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

So far, it seems three people are working for Black Mesa.

#43 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

So it seems that she didn't delete Caroline after all... I always thought it was a bluff, how could you delete a part of yourself?

Although one must feel slightly sorry for Chell, she leaves the world of Aperture potentially the only world she knew, and to the world of Half-life outside, to the land of alien oppression, I wonder if that would make her long for the simplicity of testing...

Not to mention that probably at one point she got covered in conversion gel, and will probably go out the same way as old Cave Johnson.:twilightoops:

#44 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7838267 Oh no, conversion gel is perfectly safe.  Moon dust is only so dangerous because it is very sharp and very fine, so when you breathe it in it does bad stuff to your lungs.

#45 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

>>7837966 This Disk Operating System bit is almost certainly referring to the fact that she's the facility's OS.

#46 · 12w, 2d ago · 1 · · Program One ·

>>7837258

This takes place post the Portal 2 Multi-player campaign, which takes place post the regular Portal 2 campaign.

>>7838091

Yup, shortly after this video.

#47 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

GLADOS has a crush on Chell. Calling it now.

#48 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

Not surprised that Tats' fics sell like hotcakes.

#49 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

So... One of your stipulations was to have parents for the PWNY, right? So... That theoretically means that there should be another parent... It seems to be pointing at Chell, and considering the only other characters are the personality cores which are presumably still in Glados. Aside from SPAAAAAACE and Dipshit.

I don't know how I feel about that.

#50 · 12w, 2d ago · · · Program One ·

is this PWNY or not PWNY? you did not say in the description.

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