Entry Nineteen
Crusade
Once Chell was fully relaxed and at ease with being back home, she reached the point where she was comfortable relating what she'd been through on the surface. I chose not to save those video files beyond pertinent details. Needless to say, my conclusion regarding her having tangled with the Combine had been accurate. It was time to summarize what we knew, and establish a plan of action.
Surprisingly enough, between Cave and I, we had one. The Combine feared Aperture. We were going to show them it was with good reason.
Video below...
"So let me see if I understand this correctly," Gilda clarified once Chell reached the end of her story. Everyone had remained silent throughout the telling without even asking questions so Chell could go through it all at once without prolonging it. "This Combine is some sort of alien collective that uses other races for creatures of burden, has more or less total control of the planet, and has built some sort of device to suppress human mating urges to prevent population renewal...for some reason." She shook her head at that last part. "That's totally bogus. What's the point of taking over and then deliberately making the most viable slave race kill itself off?"
"Perhaps they fear human adaptability?" Glados suggested. "From the sound of it, they both fear and desire Aperture Science."
"They do," Chell confirmed. "When they first saw me using Aperture Long Fall Boots, they ran from me at first sight. It...led to me getting overconfident, so that when they sprung the trap to try and capture me specifically..." She lowered her gaze, pulling her knees to her chest. So many people counting on her...and she'd let them all dow- "Ow!"
Gilda folded her wing. "None of that!" she scolded. "Self-recrimination is a wasteful, pointless endeavor, not befitting a Johnson. You know what you're supposed to do when life gives you lemons."
Chell managed a wan smile. "This is still a pretty big lemon," she pointed out dryly.
"Then it will make a very satisfying explosion once combustible," Glados observed confidently. "Besides, if Black Mesa played a part in letting the Combine take over the surface, then it's only right we finally resolve this rivalry."
"That's...actually something I'm curious about," Chell spoke up. "According to records on the surface, it hasn't been that long since Aperture Science vanished after losing the fight for funding...but the computer said I'd been in stasis for nine nine...repeated something. How is that-"
"Oh, that'd be Ratman's doing," Cave observed, not looking up from what he was working on. "I accessed those old records, and there wasn't enough power to run the stasis chamber he took you to after beating Glados the first time to keep you alive, so he hooked it into the only running experiment that seemed to provide a limitless power supply...a time dilation experiment that was an off-shoot of the Borealis research. As a result, the entire Aperture facility was in a state of distilled time until power ran out and you woke up...and the moron set you on course. Which is probably why technology within the facility has advanced so far as far as miniaturization is concerned, since those research processes are entirely automated via the Research Cores. The tech we've got down here will make most of what's on the surface look pathetic by comparison...and might just be on par with whatever the Combine can throw at us."
"Then those Com-bees have even more reason to fear us," Gilda concluded, pumping her clenched talon. "Nice!"
"Not only that, but I've managed to take some of their own tech and make it better!" Cave proclaimed. "The crystal that makes your gravity gun work? I was able to synthesize a second one. Sticking it in the contained singularity that powers the Handheld Portal Devices work lets them work as Gravity Guns, and negates the requirement of a Portal Reactive Surface. As long as the surface is flat and of appropriate size, you can place a portal. As such, I made those modifications to Gilda's Tail Mounted Portal Emitter, miniaturized Chell's Gravity Gun, and injected it into the confined singularity that powers it. Admittedly, there's a 17% chance of a critical meltdown that causes the singularities to escape their confinement and devour the entire planet...but considering we're outnumbered at the billions-to-one margin, I'm liking those odds!"
"Is that all you've managed?" Glados asked curiously. "I think my preparations are more impressive. I was able to build on the modifications the moron was trying to make...and the entire facility is now battle ready. We'll take the fight to the Combine...in style."
"And our girls are going to be the most stylish of all!" Cave proclaimed. "I studied those liquid metal things he brought in...turns out they're cybernetically enhanced symbiotic life forms. And I was able to adapt them so Gilda and Chell can use them!" Two frameworks filled with all sorts of armaments lifted up, with gaps in the center sized to each of the girls. "Step in, please."
Gilda let out a happy crow as she rushed in, eager for whatever was going to happen. Chell moved in more carefully, taking in what was waiting there. "A motorcycle, a jetpack, missile launcher, bomb launcher, multi-stage rocket launcher, an anti-tank rifle? How am I supposed to carry all of these around?"
"Oh, you won't!" Cave explained as he started the process. "The cyber symbiotes will do all the work. They were apparently stolen from a scientist in another dimension who dubbed such a device an Ando-Syn...but I prefer to call them Boomers."
As he finished speaking, music began to play as the quicksilver creatures poured out from the top of the chambers the girls had stepped into. As they contacted the weapons and devices within, it was absorbed by the creatures before they wrapped around the girls. It slowly solidified in the shape of hardened battle suits, fitting the girls like a second skin as far as their definition, amplifying all their capabilities. Gilda's suit fit around each individual feather, and gleamed in gold and bronze as it shaped a fierce ripping beak. Chell's took the Aperture orange and white coloration, shaping to her musculature as she flexed.
"...otaku," Glados scolded Cave.
"What? Some of my best ideas came from watching too much anime!" Cave snapped out defensively. "And it's good music! Speaking of, which do you think is better for the surface debut, 'Run Away' or 'You Get To Burning'?"
Glados chuckled indulgently. "While the former was always my favorite, I think the latter is much more fitting..."
Gordon Freeman struggled across the plains towards the small metal shack in the distance, doing his best to hide his presence in the fields of tall wheat. The Combine paid little attention to these lands because they didn't believe anything of value was here, but Chell had told him this was where she'd exited the Aperture facility. If hope for Earth - and for finding Chell - was anywhere now, it was in there.
As he approached, he caught sight of large speakers rising up out of the shack. He paused, wondering if he was about to receive a communication. Instead, music began blaring from the speakers. The moment the lyrics began, the entire plateau began to shake.
His eyes bugged out of his skull as he saw the center of the plateau break away, lifting up into the sky as dirt fell away revealing shining metal, which unfolded from a buried skyscraper into a flying battle station. It continued to rise, until it reached a height where nothing could fail to notice it. At this distance, he could just make out hangers uncountable swinging open on the sides.
At that point, the song proclaimed, "You get to burning!" loud enough he heard it plainly, just as hordes of silver fighters swarmed out of the hanger bays, making for the Combine structures in the distance and unleashing a level of firepower unheard of since the World Wars. Two unique figures flew out, one a shape out of myth, and one far more human. The humanoid figure turned...and shot straight towards him.
As the orange and white figure stopped in front of him, the helmet pulled back organically to reveal a familiar face. "Gordon!" Chell greeted warmly. "You're alright!" Lunging forward, she pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him firmly on his bristly cheek.
Gordon Freeman reacted the way any sane man would react to such a situation. He fainted.
Oh boy!
Presumably, because if there's one thing humans do, it's adapt, we've managed to become top dog on this planet, we've evolved, adapted, and if there's one thing all sci fi series/movies emphasize, it's how humans are special.
Throw them back at life, rant about how you don't want lemons, invent combustible lemons and use them to light life's house on fire?
There is literally nothing clever I can say to that, because that's about what I'd say.
I see, I think.
Well played, Cave. The guy may be nuts, but he's smart.
I think I get that reference.
Yes. That is all.
This man is amazing.
That's about right.
Ah, poor gordon.
...this might possibly be the most epic thing I've ever seen...no joke...
also:
okay, now I'm curious if good-old Doug is still alive...and worried about the possible implications therein either way, especially since "Lab Rat" implied that he had a condition that made him a bit...mentally unstable and, good intentions or not, that could have some negative consequences later on...
...I'm torn between gushing over how adorable this was and laughing hysterically at how predictable the outcome was; either way, there's only ONE way to sum up the implications of this:
yeah, exactly...
This chapter really ain't for the faint of heart.
If the Combine had feared Humanity in any fashion, none of us would have survived the Seven Hour War. They probably just thought Earth would be a nice, safe place to house some Advisers (the psychic grub things) while they matured, and they could use the cowed and converted locals to strip away anything of value while they were here, leaving nothing but a lifeless debris field by the time they were done.
And it would have worked, if not for the right man in the wrong place.
Regardless of the song you chose, THIS is what went through my head at the description of the Aperture Laboratories re-emergence.
EEEEEE!!!!
Another anime fan!!
EEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
Sorry...
I FUG LOVE Bubblegum Crisis Tokyo 2040 its da bomb
Make it burn dem!
I can not imagine any situation in which this written in any other way would have given me the same satisfaction in reading it. A masterful personification of GLaDOS, with a surprising mix of a cute and murderous Gilda. I am very impressed. My only complaint is not having more of it to read... yet.
Personally, I would recommend either this
or this.
Uptown Funk, Walkie Talkie Man, and Dancing With Myself are also acceptable.
(I'll make them computer links later)
Bwahahahahahahhahaaa!!!
Mr. Freeman fainted!
Oh shit just got real!
No thunderstruck? No heavy metal, come on the patriarch theme would be perfect (it's abandon hope, the title that is). Ride of the valkyrie?
Yes.
'Nough said.
this is gdfr now!
For a moment i tought it was the TMD (Time Manipulator Device) from singularity but then i read carefully because it said "portal" not "time"
and then i was sad
that would had been a nice rip-off but i understand why it's not possible
Just so you know, if you make Gordon speak, I will have no choice but to read his lines in the voice of Freeman's Mind.
8000975 Um... which voice is that?
Oh Jesus!
8000698 I burst out laughing! Trying not to is to much hassle!
And the gates of Hell opened and came forth the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse and the peoples of the Earth rejoiced.
8000975
I want 'Mind' to be canon in this continuity, even though nobody knows it because Gordon can't speak. I can easily imagine the Gordon from 'Mind' fainting when they actually get a kiss from the chick they wanted to bang.
So is Freeman mute too? 'Cause we've got two famously silent protagonists now.
Also, I just realized that this means we'll probably have the amazing army destroying, planet saving, physicist coming to Equestria.
I feel this is appropriate.
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=qMUyjvXpMV0]
Tien: "I'm going to ignore the fact that you just used the word bogus."
8000729 The way I'm thinking how this might follow through is everyone sets off to hunt down and destroy the Combine where ever they can be found and they finally make their way to Equestria \what ever the planet is called where of course Canterlot is the last stronghold which is of course is also about to fall when that song blazes from the sky
8000720
With you, I'm not sure if this is a deliberate typo or not...
AHAHAHA! So, we're going into Half-Life now...nice!
I just remembered that only the City 17 Citadel was destroyed. What about possible Citadels in cities 1 through 16? Unless the City 17 Citadel was the only one?
Also, when is this? After White Forest?
I wonder what the Gman thinks of this development.
why wouldn't it surprise me that Cave and Gordon actually went to college together?
Right, I think you should just let us decide your music from now on.
8001521
...well, that's not offensive or upsetting at all.
8001434 It had to happen eventually. The two series do exist in the same canon universe after all.
8001521 Shame upon thee good Sir. Shame!
Combees?
cdn.bulbagarden.net/upload/thumb/b/b6/415Combee.png/250px-415Combee.png
8001458 Oh, that has to be canon! I can just see those two being the big men of the campus.
Badass...Also, Gordon undoubtedly fainted because of how hot Chell is in her new set of armor aside from the kiss
Not bad.... but personally the entrance song in my head was something a bit more epic in my opinion.
8001198 *facepalm* Welp, I derped that.
Hardsuits... awesome. Plus, Chell finds Gordon and he faints. I can't wait to see Cave and GLaDOS do the "Scare my daughter's boyfriend" thing, that's going to be hilarious! And I can just see Gilda going, "You make my sis cry I'll rip your balls off and feed them to you raw!"
8001008 The voice he is referring to is that of one Ross Scott, creator of the popular machinima series 'Freeman's Mind' in which Ross voices the inner thoughts of Gordon Freeman.
Here is the first video in the series for your perusal.
for me i had three themes going when they made their apperance
for when they start breaking the surface
for the transformation
and for chell and gilda's seeing Mister Gordon
8001664 8001820 Sorry. I think Derp Kreeper meant it as a joke at the amount of music suggestions down here.
... in my professional opinion, it wouldn't be a proper boomer without a vomit-then-gangbang attack...
Wow, it's no longer a Portal-verse PWNY. It's now a Half Life-verse PWNY!
Also, nice way of explaining things. Time dilation.
All in all, Gman's trying to make deals back in Equestria, trying to save Gilda after all of their objects, hoping to not let Aperture and (fragmented) Black Mesa get control of her.
Also, Freeman's actually still sane.
8004253
Well, it technically is both. You see, through Easter Eggs and Cave, we know that Apeture and Black Mesa were directly in competition. So it's not surprising to find Chell fighting the Combine, or Gordon personally knowing Chell.
Also, I sense incoming ships.
8004253 Half Life and Portal actually r cannon to be happening in the same universe and on the same Earth, so nothing here is actualy not cannon or any kind of crossover between the two games
I learned a bit about Half-Life 1 & 2. This is going to be an interesting love triangle!
Is it wrong to cringe on this chapter?
Ehhh, not a song I would have picked based on sound alone, but I also don't know the context involved with relevance to the source material. For all I know there's an awesome transformation sequence involved.
I'm looking forward to how Dog is going to be upgraded.