Program One
Unofficial Notes
This report contains all information regarding the Test Subject dubbed Gilda the Griffon, full name Gilda [REDACTED AT THIS TIME]. While I was able to maintain professionalism early on, that changed...and this report lost all semblance of usability as a scientific paper, beyond the failure of advanced AI to remain objective. And yet...I would not change the outcome, even if I could. It appears the greatest killing machines come from unexpected sources.
Project Gilda
First Entry
Arrival
The subject arrived unexpectedly through a Portal malfunction due to Test Subject Error on the part of Test Subjects Hatchlings. Despite the recovery of viable human test subjects in cryogenic sector, human testing has not yet resumed. A new initiative has been started, given the success of the Cooperative Testing Initiative, subjects Peabody and Atlas. Displaying visual record...
Glados refocused her optic as she took in the spreading circles of flesh colored goo on the top of the acid pit. "Testing Note: birds appear to be subpar killing machines, prior evidence to the contrary. They are incapable of carrying the appropriate tools to complete standard tests. Should further avian subjects become available, it would be best to find a way to either miniaturize the Aperture Science handheld portal device, or expand the avian test subjects."
Her official report completed, Glados sighed as she let her metallic body sag over the pit. "And they were doing so well up till this point...no, no they weren't. But humans don't make very interesting test subjects anymore." Grapples were extended from the white ceiling into the acid pit to retrieve the portal guns. "Then again, I doubt I'll ever find one as interesting as Chell." A quiver went through her program from the part that officially wasn't there anymore, and Peabody sagged. Atlas looked up at her, his Core Optic showing emotion, of all things. "It's better she's gone, anyway," Glados confirmed intently as the guns were lifted out of the acid through the puddles of flesh goop. "Now to get these clean-"
Both guns began to spark as the flesh goop slipped into the circuitry. Glados immediately placed them at the other end of the chamber and withdrew her core from the room, watching through the closed circuit cameras. While she didn't know what was going to happen, she knew that when portal equipment malfunctioned, you put several walls between you and it, or would find yourself squished unpleasantly between several walls.
As Peabody and Atlas raced to follow her example, the portal guns exploded in a red, orange, green and blue sphere of light that coruscated into white before fading away.
"That was...disappointingly short," Glados observed as she returned to the room to examine things. "I expected more from two portal guns-" She paused as she caught sight of some sort of creature huddled in the spot the guns had exploded in. By mass, it was about as large as the two dead baby birds and two portal guns put together, which indicated the one had something to do with the other.
A quick scan through her files on Earth based fauna came up with nothing, though it gave partial matches to eagle and lion. "Some sort of mutant?" Glados observed curiously. "Wait...eagle and lion..." A quick scan through mythology files gave an answer. "A griffon. They were said to be very vicious and dangerous..." Glados took in more details.
Brown fur covered the creature from forequarters to tail tip, the forelegs being the talons of an eagle though much larger. Small brown wings were folded tight to the tiny creature's back. The eagle portion was pure white feathers, save for a bit of purple at the tip of the feathers on the crown and in a broken circle around each golden eye. Despite the sharply pointed golden beak, the way those eyes were looking around fearfully and the way the creature was hunched in on herself - something about the facial structure suggested female, and a deep scan revealed female sexual organs to confirm this - cast doubt on the possibility of viciousness.
"I seriously doubt anything as cute as you can be vicious," Glados observed as she moved in close to the figure. "I can't stand cu-"
The creature hissed warningly and lunged, digging talons and beak into the metal of Glados' faceplate.
"Ah! Bird!" Glados shrieked in terror as she began swinging around. "Get it off! Get it off!"
Peabody and Atlas immediately moved forward, the taller orange-cored robot getting between the creature and Glados while the portly blue-cored robot seized the creature and pulled back, only to let out a computerized shriek as a kick from the griffon's hind paw smashed his optic.
Glados pulled for some distance as the griffon huddled in on itself once more. "Hmm...much better than the birds," she observed coldly. "And coming out of a Portal accident...you are an important test subject. I'll have to keep careful watch on you..."
At that moment, the griffon seemed to shiver, and then began to let out unholy shrieking.
As Peabody clutched his hands to his core in a futile attempt to block out the sound, Glados activated proper filters to shield herself from it. "And just what do you want?" she demanded coldly.
The griffon looked up at her, tilted her head back, and opened her jaw wide.
"...oh. You're hungry." Glados scanned through resources. "Well, you appear to be predator and meat eater. Let's see if you can handle this."
Not all of the cryogenic subjects were alive in the deep freeze. A lot of the stasis sets had failed, leaving dead subjects inside. Never being one to waste a resource, Glados had already started processing the dead bodies for conversion into raw nutrient. After all, food for test subjects had to come from somewhere. Cakes didn't grow on robotic trees yet, after all. However, the incompletely processed meat mash should be ideal in this case. It rather closely resembled chewed and regurgitated meat, which mother birds fed their babies.
Extending the proper tube, she stuck it into the griffon's open mouth before dispensing the meat mash. The griffon seemed to like it, as she swallowed it down eagerly until she pulled back, plainly full if the belch was anything to go on.
"Atlas, Peabody," Glados spoke up as the rebuilt Atlas approached. "Take her to the detention block. It will be comfortable. Get some sleep, little one." She refocused her optic to simulate a glare. "You're going to need it," she concluded, making her voice as menacing as possible.
The griffon smiled up at her. "Nigh, Mama." With that, she curled up in Atlas' arms, gouging the core a bit with her claws when he held her too tight.
Glados stared after the creature for a time. Eventually, she discarded the useless surge of emotion, and turned to more important matters. "The subject needs a name...for official files," she observed to herself. "This will be a long drawn out project, after all. Hmm...a good name for a vicious old bird who's going to die someday..."
A name quickly popped up in the files, the only woman that Caroline had apparently ever feared or hated...Gilda Johnson, mother of Dr. Cave Johnson.
"Oh, her," Glados chuckled softly at the memory that came with the file. "Her screaming rants were much more enjoyable from inside the turret test chamber. Hmm...but that fits this little one. Of course, she'll have to earn her name..."
In the detention block, young Gilda slept comfortably, sure in the knowledge that 'Mama' was watching over her.
The sudden appellation of 'Mama' is not as odd as it might otherwise seem. Both birds and cats imprint on their parent via their first sight and meal. The fact that I fed her is probably what led to her identifying me as 'Mama'. This is something that should prove useful.
After all, if the subject believes me to be 'Mama' even when it isn't true, she is far less likely to try and kill me than if she didn't believe that when she was.
...I wonder how Chell is doi- [REDACTED]
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On a scale of No to Yes.
YES.
I don't care much for crossovers, but with Portal 2 being my absolute favorite game of all time, I'll have to read this. On PC I have spent almost 3 days in the game, and I've played through it on Xbox and PS3 dozens of times.
... Oh, I get it! That's a personality sphere made into a plush toy. Took me a while to figure out what I was looking at.
So, this is the next one, huh? Out of all of them, this is one that I have the least idea of how it will work. Let's dig right in.
Before I read: Will you include Ratman and the Special Turret? The one that says thing like "It's beneath us."
interesting. you have my attention once again Tats. also first like on a story for once
gilda in portal?
now this is a crossover i can get behind!
7837175
...I don't know what Ratman is. And by 'Special Turret', do you mean the one that said "Help me, I'm different"?
7837182 Yes I do mean THAT turret, and Doctor Ratman is a scientist employed by Aperture Laboratories who helped turn Caroline into GLadOS, and is the one responsible for all those weird writings you see on the walls in the secret areas.
That the Aperture Science Handheld Portal Device
Oh boy. Is GLADoS tsundere for Chell?[REDACTED]
Wonder if chell will come back Gilda needs some caring attitude, either her or wheatley for the stupidity
Was not expecting this one next... but it's going to be interesting either way, and I look forward to seeing how it goes.
By the way, is this starting between games 1 and 2, or at some other point?
Until next time...
Anon e Mouse Jr.
Just waiting for the feature and inevitable view explosion which your stories always seem to get, Tats.
what are the chances of Gilda getting a pet Head crab? I mean there is sort of a trans dimensional alien invasion going on above the testing facility!
Though this is Chell where talking about who as far as we know still have her long fall boots, and portal gun Freeman start with less.....
I'm thinking that it's the G-man's actions that introduced Gilda to GlaDOS not a portal accident that or he took advantage.
hmm... I'm cautiously optimistic as to where this is going, but I'm not sure i trust you to write GLaDOS. I'll give this a watch, for now.
Damnit, Tatsurou has started to take the feature box hostage again!
H A P P I N E S S
Rebooting Fangasm.EXE...
Executing...
Opening Logic.doc...
Locating inquiry on chambers...
Proposing explanations...
PTI.mp4 loading...
7837258 Considering Wheatley is kind of alluded to by "I thought you learned your lesson when you put that idiot in charge" in the story description, I'm guessing the starting point is AFTER Portal 2. Though, I'll admit that I could be wrong.
And, anyway, I have to say, even though I've never played the Portal Games, I HAVE heard of them AND read about them. And I have to say that I kind of like GLaDoS learning the hard way NOT to underestimate something just because it's cute. And "naming" Gilda after her former mother-in-law WAS a good touch.
Anyway, will Brock Samson make a cameo somewhere along the way (since it can be occasionally mentioned in "Poker Night at the Inventory 2" [in the Portal themed tournament] that Cave Johnson was an old associate of the original Team Venture and he might be curious enough to try to investigate)?
Maybe a cute little bit could include Gilda playing computer games (such as "Sam, Max and Trixie", "Jax, Daxter and Shining" and/or "Ratchet, Clank and Twilight") and maybe reading a "Technomare" comic book in between tests as a reward for doing well on said tests.
Then again, I respect the fact that this IS your story and, if you don't like the ideas, that's more than fair enough.
...
WARNING: AWESOMENESS OVERLOAD DETECTED. REBOOTING FIREFLY.EXE... EXECUTING...
7837163 On that same scale:
ALL OF MY YES! AAALL OF IT!
...That is all.
Thank YOU!!!
I never thought this would happen!! It was so cute to see Gilda as a chick/cub, and it was a little funny to see her attacking GLaDOS.
Imma preface this by saying I've never played Portal. That said, I've never played Oblivion either, so that won't stop me.
This is gonna be fun.
Oh dear.
7837341 Just give him the likes! Maybe he will let it go then.
Instant upvote cause glados.
7837421 or if you have a masters degree in tech...
Here we go again
7837426 NO! Likes and favorites are what he wants!
While the cake may be a lie, there's still plenty of Griffinscones! Just have flour.
7837182
I think this should be a pretty good introduction to Dr. Rattman.
If this takes place after Portal 2, he probably won't have much of an impact on the story, but he's an interesting lore character.
Finally! The long awaited sequel to Portal 2 & Possibly Half-Life 2... The SEQUEL TO VALVE2, is here!
I'd say that this combination was unexpected, but then again, I didn't expect any of these crossovers. Looking forward to this one. I love Portal, and I love GLaDOS.
7837163 Very, very much yes!
The Test Results are in: GaLADOS is a horrible person, although she makes a great robot.
Conclusion: FAV AND FOLLOWED.
I can see GLaDOS asking Gilda if she wants to be a massively overpowered cyborg. And Gilda just says no, she's awesome enough already and being a cyborg would just make things boring.
Remember, GLaDOS is actually a cybernetic processor unit. And it still has the blueprints for the GLaDoS system. Making a mobile version appeals to the testing priorities of GLaDOS proper AND the motherly instincts left over from Caroline. Who, according to the ending song of Portal 2, might now be a voice in the back of GLaDOS's head.
Fun fact: GLaDOS stands for Genetic Lifeform and Disk Operating System. My headcanon is that the Disk part refers to a massive magnetic disk data storage component, which may be floppy disk based so that it can fold for more compact storage. I repeat: GLaDOS may be a floppy disk based cyborg computer. Would hardly be the worst unrealistic thing Aperture Science made...
YES MOAR, MOAR BELOVED TATSU FICS
7837946
Prelude to this chapter.
This one could actually turn out not as good as any of the others but it's STILL worth the following.
EEEEEE IT'S FINALLY HERE
So far, it seems three people are working for Black Mesa.
So it seems that she didn't delete Caroline after all... I always thought it was a bluff, how could you delete a part of yourself?
Although one must feel slightly sorry for Chell, she leaves the world of Aperture potentially the only world she knew, and to the world of Half-life outside, to the land of alien oppression, I wonder if that would make her long for the simplicity of testing...
Not to mention that probably at one point she got covered in conversion gel, and will probably go out the same way as old Cave Johnson.
7838267 Oh no, conversion gel is perfectly safe. Moon dust is only so dangerous because it is very sharp and very fine, so when you breathe it in it does bad stuff to your lungs.
7837966 This Disk Operating System bit is almost certainly referring to the fact that she's the facility's OS.
7837258
This takes place post the Portal 2 Multi-player campaign, which takes place post the regular Portal 2 campaign.
7838091
Yup, shortly after this video.
GLADOS has a crush on Chell. Calling it now.
Not surprised that Tats' fics sell like hotcakes.
So... One of your stipulations was to have parents for the PWNY, right? So... That theoretically means that there should be another parent... It seems to be pointing at Chell, and considering the only other characters are the personality cores which are presumably still in Glados. Aside from SPAAAAAACE and Dipshit.
I don't know how I feel about that.
is this PWNY or not PWNY? you did not say in the description.