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This story is a sequel to Derpy Accidentally a Portal Gun V: Tetralogy
In the conclusion to the thrilling* Derpy Accidentally A Portal Gun Franchise, Sparkler finds herself stranded on Earth, in a cardboard box. Can she survive Flint long enough to be summoned back to Equestria?
Of course she can, because she has a particular set of skills.
Can Flint survive her?
____________________________
*for some values of 'thrilling'
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I think she over paid him already.
And this people is why we can't have ponies visit us. We are greedy and stupid. Go Amethyst!
Well that happened. It was a good time to get out of that town the way it was.
A my little dashie based story with Sparkler? Count me in! And shouldn’t she say Buck instead of Fuck?
Well, that explains why Toosie had to open it for her.
Ouch. Well fought, Sparkler.
ramen
Sensible choice, Frederick. You can even hope that Amethyst won't hold a grudge.
period, not comma.
8833452
She did, although as it turns out, maybe she didn't.
8833645
Suggested (and pre-read) but the author of My Little Dashie, no less.
When my ponies swear, they mostly use real curses.
8833756
Correction made; thank you!
8833649
Exactly! Sparkler just can't deal with peanut butter. Poor girl.
8833461
I know, right? Good thing that Amethyst knows how to deal with humans, even without being able to use her horn.
8833661
She's a pro at this. Years of practice fighting off changelings, humans in Equestria, and then getting sucked into Battlefield IRL.
The humans aren't ready for her.
8833861
I guess i got too excited finally writing the unicorn with a shotgun scene I've always wanted.
Correction made; thank you!
8833464
On the plus side for Frederick, he's got what's left in that sack of gold to start a new life far, far away from Flint, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
8833853
She's probably not mad at him. Probably. He should certainly hope she isn't, anyway.
8834142
I see, makes sense.
8834150
Then why hasn’t anypony tried to make her join the Royal Guards yet?
8834159
Considering the line
I would run and work on my Pleading for Mercy face.
8834338
She's not really into discipline, plus she's probably a little bit too trigger happy for them. She's more of a special ops type of pony.
8834601
Oh, yeah. Good point, there. She's probably not mad enough at him to chase him for too long. But maybe if he does come back, he ought to have a nice big apology bouquet.
8835487
I see. If the Royal Guard would have a special ops unit, she would be the perfect candidat. Reminds me of a OC of mine that is also kinda the stealth type.
8835498
Actually, funny story, ROBCakeran53 and I were talking about special ops ponies at the bar, too, and I wondered if they had camouflage coats. Or maybe an enchantment like the ones that the guardponies presumably have that makes them all look alike.
8835507
Good idea. Said OC Of mine is also in the Royal GUard but indirectly.
Well. That was a trip. I am kind of sorry I didn't follow along with the journey as it went, but this was still an incredible amount of fun. Thank you for it. I'm definitely going to need to remember that individual unicorn Kryptonite concept at some point.
8837627
I'm not sure if this is one of those things that was better reading once/year, or if seeing it all in one go is the right way to do it. Also, FWIW I think the third one is the best overall.
Oh, yeah, totally! If nothing else, that drunken idea of ROBCakeran and I is totally worth keeping for later.
Also, thinking on that, if it applied to pony Sunset, would it also apply to humanized Sunset; secondly, might it apply to the human analogues of unicorns? Does EqG Sparkler also have some sort of problem with peanut butter? Can Sci-Twi not deal with cheese, especially in quesadilla form?
8835514
Speaking of OCs indirectly in the royal guard, I was looking for art for an upcoming blog post and found this gem:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/7/5/930386__safe_solo_bon+bon_sweetie+drops_gun_rope_hoof+hold_pistol_harness_secret+agent+sweetie+drops.png
8840649
Looks good. In my stories, most humans were part of the military before going to Equestria and the Royal Guard is the closest job to this, isn’t it?
And did I mention I enjoy this chats with you?
8840669
It's probably the closest. There's obviously some fanon argument about how military the Royal Guard is (especially since it generally falls to Twilight and company to fix things instead of the Royal Guard). The Wonderbolts is another possibility, although of course not being able to fly would be a downside to a human having a career with them.
One thing that probably isn't in any story (not one that I know of, anyhow) is a Coastie joining some sort of pony S&R team. That might be an interesting plot if done right . . . I assume that ponies have S&R.
8840755
Yeah, it could be the closest to a military. And I agree with the S&R. If you like to chat more, I can send a PM. Reminds me, for Noi, like with your story, some fans think she and Carrot top are sisters due the sisters special, others think they have a daughter-mother relashionship. I kinda combinated both for my story with her. Their parents died while Noi was still a baby, so her big sister Carrot top took care to her, she Noi sees her as sister and mother.
8841646
I'm like, super slow at replying to PMs but that'd be cool.
That's a pairing where I'm not opposed to mother/daughter (after all, it's not like we know how old Carrot Top is), but it seemed to me that she was more like a big sister. Obviously, it's canon that AJ's parents are dead and presumably AJ and Apple Bloom have a combination mother/daughter and sister/sister relationship.
Off the top of my head, I can't think of any ponies in Ponyville who are likely to be Carrot Top's parents. I do think that Carrot Cake is her older brother, though.
8848750
Okay. And with Noi, I meant it’s supposed to be a combination of mother/daughter and sister/sister relationship like with AJ and AB.
Any chance of more sequels?
of course that made me think of that silly "anthropology" song, and TWO fan-videos of it...
should i...YES!
this reminds me of a silly story called "Twilight Spackle" by Estee, where Twilight messed up and got her horn covered with hardened spackle while trying to fix a crack in the door of the library...
PS: it was a cheap brand she got from the Reject bin, apparently made by Flim and Flam. (the label said "another FFine product")
that last part reminded me of a scene in Split Infinity by Piers Anthony, where a unicorn stabbed a Demon with her horn and tossed it over her shoulder, WHILE trying to shake the hero off her back!
unfortunately for her, the hero is the best Jockey in the world...
8840755
i remember a story where they said the Royal Guard is mostly ceremonial, like the classic palace guards in Great Britain,but Equestria does have a real army, the EUP, armed with the magical equivalent of powered armor...
that was in a story by Bucking Nonsense. a Changeling living in the Crystal Empire gets to test-FLY a set, and someone calls her "iron Mare"...hang on while i try to find it:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/167178/five-changelings-in-equestria-the-five-paths
I'm not saying that Admiral Biscuit is a secret Marine. I'm not. Totally.
He just has his guerilla warfare and black-ops cutie mark hidden from us all.