//------------------------------// // In Which Frederick Stumbles Upon The Aftermath And Hastily Departs // Story: Derpy Accidentally a Portal Gun VI: My Little Amethyst // by Admiral Biscuit //------------------------------// My Little Amethyst Admiral Biscuit I could tell something was wrong the moment I walked up to the house. The front door was shut, but it didn't appear to be sitting right in the frame. Almost as if it had been kicked down and then propped back up into place to give the illusion that nothing was amiss. When I unlocked it, the door fell back into the hallway, confirming that suspicion. But I had no time to focus on the door. The living room was in a terrible state of disarray: the flat-screen television had fallen off its table, my Wii was shattered on the floor, and there was a disturbing dark stain that went from the couch and into the kitchen. They say that curiosity killed the cat, but like a damned fool I entered the house anyways. The oven looked like a bomb had exploded inside it. The entire stovetop was curved upwards, and the oven door was jammed into the cabinets. I could see an ironing board in the hallway . . . I didn't even know that my house had an ironing board. Amethyst must have had a cooking accident. Given the limited information I currently had, it was the only logical conclusion I could reach, and I called out for her. “I'm in the backyard,” she said, her voice oddly muffled. Thank God she's okay. Without a moment's reflection on what I was stepping in, I went to the back door. I caught just a glimpse through the window and perhaps if I'd turned around then I would have had plausible deniability. I opened the door and there was a pile of brush with four bodies on top of it. Amethyst was just off to the side, with a can of gasoline lazily floating next to her. It was something that I couldn't unsee no matter how much I wanted to. I tried my best to look at anything but the bodies because that's what they were. Nobody's neck bent like that and then there was that other guy whose torso was mostly missing for reasons unknown and a third that I swear the rib cage was turned inside out. They say that the dead look peaceful but none of these guys looked peaceful at all. Like most people, I’d always assumed that unicorns were peaceful, innocent creatures, not meant for this world. My assumptions were completely wrong. There had been a war inside my house, and the plucky purple unicorn had come out the easy winner. She paid me no attention, casually splashing gasoline on the pile of bodies and then when she picked up my barbecue lighter with her aura in order to start her funeral pyre, I decided it was about time to nope out of my house and never return. It was a good bet I wouldn't be getting my security deposit back.