In Which Frederick Stumbles Upon The Aftermath And Hastily Departs
My Little Amethyst
Admiral Biscuit
I could tell something was wrong the moment I walked up to the house. The front door was shut, but it didn't appear to be sitting right in the frame. Almost as if it had been kicked down and then propped back up into place to give the illusion that nothing was amiss.
When I unlocked it, the door fell back into the hallway, confirming that suspicion. But I had no time to focus on the door. The living room was in a terrible state of disarray: the flat-screen television had fallen off its table, my Wii was shattered on the floor, and there was a disturbing dark stain that went from the couch and into the kitchen.
They say that curiosity killed the cat, but like a damned fool I entered the house anyways.
The oven looked like a bomb had exploded inside it. The entire stovetop was curved upwards, and the oven door was jammed into the cabinets. I could see an ironing board in the hallway . . . I didn't even know that my house had an ironing board.
Amethyst must have had a cooking accident. Given the limited information I currently had, it was the only logical conclusion I could reach, and I called out for her.
“I'm in the backyard,” she said, her voice oddly muffled.
Thank God she's okay. Without a moment's reflection on what I was stepping in, I went to the back door.
I caught just a glimpse through the window and perhaps if I'd turned around then I would have had plausible deniability.
I opened the door and there was a pile of brush with four bodies on top of it. Amethyst was just off to the side, with a can of gasoline lazily floating next to her.
It was something that I couldn't unsee no matter how much I wanted to. I tried my best to look at anything but the bodies because that's what they were. Nobody's neck bent like that and then there was that other guy whose torso was mostly missing for reasons unknown and a third that I swear the rib cage was turned inside out.
They say that the dead look peaceful but none of these guys looked peaceful at all.
Like most people, I’d always assumed that unicorns were peaceful, innocent creatures, not meant for this world. My assumptions were completely wrong. There had been a war inside my house, and the plucky purple unicorn had come out the easy winner.
She paid me no attention, casually splashing gasoline on the pile of bodies and then when she picked up my barbecue lighter with her aura in order to start her funeral pyre, I decided it was about time to nope out of my house and never return.
It was a good bet I wouldn't be getting my security deposit back.
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Well that happened. It was a good time to get out of that town the way it was.
Sensible choice, Frederick. You can even hope that Amethyst won't hold a grudge.
8833464
On the plus side for Frederick, he's got what's left in that sack of gold to start a new life far, far away from Flint, and this is the perfect opportunity to do so.
8833853
She's probably not mad at him. Probably. He should certainly hope she isn't, anyway.
8834142
I see, makes sense.
8834150
Then why hasn’t anypony tried to make her join the Royal Guards yet?
8834159
Considering the line
I would run and work on my Pleading for Mercy face.
8834338
She's not really into discipline, plus she's probably a little bit too trigger happy for them. She's more of a special ops type of pony.
8834601
Oh, yeah. Good point, there. She's probably not mad enough at him to chase him for too long. But maybe if he does come back, he ought to have a nice big apology bouquet.
8835487
I see. If the Royal Guard would have a special ops unit, she would be the perfect candidat. Reminds me of a OC of mine that is also kinda the stealth type.
8835498
Actually, funny story, ROBCakeran53 and I were talking about special ops ponies at the bar, too, and I wondered if they had camouflage coats. Or maybe an enchantment like the ones that the guardponies presumably have that makes them all look alike.
8835507
Good idea. Said OC Of mine is also in the Royal GUard but indirectly.
Well. That was a trip. I am kind of sorry I didn't follow along with the journey as it went, but this was still an incredible amount of fun. Thank you for it. I'm definitely going to need to remember that individual unicorn Kryptonite concept at some point.
8837627
I'm not sure if this is one of those things that was better reading once/year, or if seeing it all in one go is the right way to do it. Also, FWIW I think the third one is the best overall.
Oh, yeah, totally! If nothing else, that drunken idea of ROBCakeran and I is totally worth keeping for later.
Also, thinking on that, if it applied to pony Sunset, would it also apply to humanized Sunset; secondly, might it apply to the human analogues of unicorns? Does EqG Sparkler also have some sort of problem with peanut butter? Can Sci-Twi not deal with cheese, especially in quesadilla form?
8835514
Speaking of OCs indirectly in the royal guard, I was looking for art for an upcoming blog post and found this gem:
derpicdn.net/img/view/2015/7/5/930386__safe_solo_bon+bon_sweetie+drops_gun_rope_hoof+hold_pistol_harness_secret+agent+sweetie+drops.png
8840649
Looks good. In my stories, most humans were part of the military before going to Equestria and the Royal Guard is the closest job to this, isn’t it?
And did I mention I enjoy this chats with you?
8840669
It's probably the closest. There's obviously some fanon argument about how military the Royal Guard is (especially since it generally falls to Twilight and company to fix things instead of the Royal Guard). The Wonderbolts is another possibility, although of course not being able to fly would be a downside to a human having a career with them.
One thing that probably isn't in any story (not one that I know of, anyhow) is a Coastie joining some sort of pony S&R team. That might be an interesting plot if done right . . . I assume that ponies have S&R.
8840755
Yeah, it could be the closest to a military. And I agree with the S&R. If you like to chat more, I can send a PM. Reminds me, for Noi, like with your story, some fans think she and Carrot top are sisters due the sisters special, others think they have a daughter-mother relashionship. I kinda combinated both for my story with her. Their parents died while Noi was still a baby, so her big sister Carrot top took care to her, she Noi sees her as sister and mother.
8841646
I'm like, super slow at replying to PMs but that'd be cool.
That's a pairing where I'm not opposed to mother/daughter (after all, it's not like we know how old Carrot Top is), but it seemed to me that she was more like a big sister. Obviously, it's canon that AJ's parents are dead and presumably AJ and Apple Bloom have a combination mother/daughter and sister/sister relationship.
Off the top of my head, I can't think of any ponies in Ponyville who are likely to be Carrot Top's parents. I do think that Carrot Cake is her older brother, though.
8848750
Okay. And with Noi, I meant it’s supposed to be a combination of mother/daughter and sister/sister relationship like with AJ and AB.
Any chance of more sequels?
8840755
i remember a story where they said the Royal Guard is mostly ceremonial, like the classic palace guards in Great Britain,but Equestria does have a real army, the EUP, armed with the magical equivalent of powered armor...
that was in a story by Bucking Nonsense. a Changeling living in the Crystal Empire gets to test-FLY a set, and someone calls her "iron Mare"...hang on while i try to find it:
https://www.fimfiction.net/story/167178/five-changelings-in-equestria-the-five-paths