• Member Since 2nd Nov, 2012
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Admiral Biscuit


"This was quite well written, and the characters had a very natural feeling back and forth. Shame I didn't like it at all."

Sequels1

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This story is a sequel to Derpy Accidentally a Portal Gun II


After Sparker and Dinky rescued Derpy and Chell from the Cantelot Crystal Caverns, life returned to normal. Until the consequences of their actions caught up to them. Luckily, Derpy has the solution: she and her family (and Chell) will trek through Equestria with a home-made portal gun, ending the scourge of humans in Equestria once and for all.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 19 )

A wonderful melange of your sillyier stories and writing, and a fine addition to April Fool's.

The best pranks aren't pranks and are just funny things that make you chuckle!

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I'm not going to debate who the victor would be in a pony-vs-human war; the truth is there are so many variables in real wars and so much that isn't known about Equestria that there would have to be a ridiculous number of assumptions made, any of which could easily change the outcome of the battle. One simple one would be that ponies breathe oxygen, but their atmosphere contains 1% CO. Not an insurmountable problem for technology to handle, but it would certainly cause some dramatic changes in our fighting strategy (not to mention, why are we fighting anyway?)


Based on simply on show canon, it appears that the ponies are at the top of the political food chain, despite the presence of larger, presumably more dangerous sapient species. They had to get there somehow; whether it was luck, their ability to control things on a global scale (like the weather or the sun), a thousand years of stable leadership by Celestia, or some other factor, we don't know. And yes, the primary defensive resource Equestria seems to have--from what we've seen--are Twilight and company, but there could be many reasons for that.

Anyway, the point is that too many writers assume that all the ponies are easy pushovers and forget some of the monstrosities they've faced and survived. While this little series goes beyond anything that's reasonable to infer from canon, I personally feel the the ponies are tougher than a lot of people give them credit for.

“Hunting humans is the most dangerous game.”

Son of a bitch.

“Well, it’s too late now. It’s no use crying over every mistake.”
“We’ll just keep on trying.”

Son of a bitch.

The references in this.... So many. :rainbowdetermined2:

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“Well, it’s too late now. It’s no use crying over every mistake.”
“We’ll just keep on trying.”

Son of a bitch.

I almost added in Dinky saying something about the cake.

5855500

The references in this.... So many.

I just finally read Hap's Belle of the 762x51mm Ball (mentioned in passing in this story), and he put me to shame with the amount of references in his story.

Well, there's always next April first.

I like SK&E too.

She’d dressed in her Hellblau ninja suit,

lol'd at the sudden use of a german colour word (light blue). Cheers from Germany!

This story puts all my randomness to shame. Flawless!

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lol'd at the sudden use of a german colour word (light blue).

The American name for sky color airplane paint was so boring. It was something like AN #755 Light Gull Grey.

Cheers from Germany!

Greetings!

This story puts all my randomness to shame. Flawless!

Thanks!

madness... THIS IS EQUESTRIA!

“I got a B on my math homework,” Dinky said proudly. “I would have done better, but Miss Cheerilee insisted I couldn’t use imaginary numbers to solve complex equations.”

“Unreal,” Derpy muttered. “How about you, Sparkler? I heard you came across a human in the park.”

i c wat u did thar

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I'm surprised I came up with it. I'm so bad at math. . . .

6680168 It was funny. And that's all that matters. Besides being filthy, dirty, stinking, disgustingly rich, of course.

Wondrous. Who needs drugs when you have. Best Pony crackfics?

“Who, in this primitive backwater town, would have the knowledge to build a portal gun? It's the pinnacle of Aperture Science technology, created for use in public showers and the enrichment center.”

Why didn't they steal it from a public shower instead of making one from scratch?

May I theorize?

“Be careful,” Derpy concluded. “Hunting humans is the most dangerous game.”

I see what you did there. I don’t remember much about that story, but I’m pretty sure I didn’t like it very much.

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