• Member Since 26th Feb, 2017

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I write things, occasionally.

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Found 37 stories in 57ms

Total Words: 2,408,000
Estimated Reading: 6 days

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There's a crime wave gripping the sleepy town of Apple-Morepone, and nopony on the City Watch seems to care. Corporal "Rainbow" M. Dash naps through her patrols, her partner Dobby is an infamous kleptomaniac, Captain Rhymes is a drunkard, and the entire Watch is a group of burnt-out misfits.

They're about to meet a batpony (adopted) by the name of Carrot, visiting town to return an overdue library book.

And none of their lives will ever be the same.


A crossover/homage to the "City Watch" books of Terry Pratchett's Discworld, written to be readable without any familiarity with the series (though they're excellent, and if you do read them you'll catch my Pratchett in-jokes).

Winner of Aragon's "Comedy Is Serious Business" Contest! "I was quoting this offline for days, forgetting where I was remembering the lines from. … This story made me legitimately jealous, both of its cleverness and of its funniness." –Contest judge MrNumbers

Rated ★★★★★ by Louder Yay! "The best comedy I've read in a long time."

"Highly Recommended" by Super Trampoline! (Video review here @ 09:17) "It's 13,000 words long, but it doesn't feel long, because so much fun stuff is happening."

Reviewed by Ghost Mike! "It features meticulously laboured-over prose, rhyming with actual metre for Zecora, perfectly-timed jokes and reveals that are often outrageous, a sneakily clever plot and character investment that works its magic throughout ... This is a phenomenally executed piece of work."

Other reviews: Present Perfect | City of Doors

Thank you to Themaskedferret and Caliaponia for prereading, and GaPJaxie for motivation/inspiration!

Chapters (5)
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Prince Blueblood thought the Grand Galloping Gala was over. He thought he could just go to sleep and put it behind him. He never expected to be reliving the same disaster of a day, over and over... and over.

TV tropes page here:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/FanFic/TheBestNightEver

Thanks to all the people who wrote the page and all the people who gave me a little wakeup call and comment to become aware of that fact! You can't see it, but you guys put a real smile on my face tonight.

Also, recently, extra thanks to RD Dash for giving TBNE a thorough editing. I've updated the fic accordingly (7.11.12)

Chapters (5)
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After learning of an ancient dueling ritual she'd missed out on while trapped in the moon, Princess Luna becomes determined to try a round of pistols at dawn herself.

Now if she could only find somepony willing to duel her.

Chapters (1)
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If Discord said he knew something about the origin of your family, would you listen?
Everfree Northwest Scribblefest entry. A certain statue posed as an over theatrical singer in the royal sculpture garden of Canterlot, says this should be entered in the truthiness category.

Chapters (1)
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This story is a sequel to Friendship is Grievous


The brutal Clone Wars have at last come to an end. The Separatists are no more, and from the ashes of the Galactic Republic, the Galactic Empire has emerged. Now, the ponies of Equestria must choose their path through a dark and terrible time.

TV Tropes page.

Cover art by Mix-up over at his his deviantart.

Chapters (77)
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Discord takes offense to a restaurant's claim of serving "unlimited" breadsticks.

Idea inspired by the sheer ridiculousness of the Unlimited Breadsticks meme.

Originally written for the "I Regret Nothing" WriteOff.

Now with a reading by AstroBrony! And a reading by ZeusMacD.

Chapters (1)
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Princess Big Macintosh saves Equestria.

This comes as a surprise to Princess Celestia, who wasn't aware Equestria needed saving, actually.

A less-than-imposing sovereign.

Chapters (1)
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Hey there. Name's Discord. I'm the janitor at a high school. I clean up after bratty teenagers and the odd drama queen or two that turns into a demon and wrecks up the school. Ain't my job grand?

Birthday gift to my bro Skeeter The Lurker, a really rad dude everyone should check out!

Awesome art from the greatly talented ManiacPaint, who you should definitely check out for more good art!

Chapters (6)
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This story is a sequel to Princess Celestia's Newest Arch Enemy


After successfully defeating both Princess Celestia and Luna on his first day as super villain, the colt known as Bad Dude sets his sights on much larger projects. Namely, the creation of Equestria's first ever super villain group known as The Coalition of United Terrible Evils. Or C.U.T.E. for short.

But were villains ever truly meant to play nice with one another?

Artwork by Shadow Bolt.

More Bad Dude art by TurnWrongattheFork. HERE!

Chapters (30)
E

When a colt named "Bad Dude" storms into Celestia's personal study and declares himself as her latest arch enemy, the Princess can't help but nearly gush from the sight. As perhaps the cutest villain Celestia has ever encountered, she hurriedly calls for Luna to meet him as well.

But is there more to "Bad Dude" than his cute exterior would suggest?

No. No there is not.

Now with a youtube reading! HERE!

Chapters (2)