//------------------------------// // Escape From Bounce Castle (Short) // Story: Bad Dude And The Coalition Of United Terrible Evils // by naturalbornderpy //------------------------------// A headache was already starting to form deep within Sergeant Silverbuck’s head. A number of reasons for its creation came to mind: that he’d been working around the clock the last few weeks keeping check on the Princesses in hospital; the fact that his wife kept on nagging him to finish the basement and sell their old couch. Or perhaps it was something far simpler that was causing Silverbuck’s ever expanding headache—like perhaps someone only a few feet away from him that refused to stop from bouncing.                  “Private Pile!” Silverbuck roared. “You are really starting to test my patience! Just what in Equestria do you think you’re doing?”                  The goofy grin on Private Pile’s face melted away the moment he stopped bouncing up and down. “I was only bouncing, sir. We are trapped in a bouncy castle, remember?”                  Silverbuck grunted his response. “Don’t remind me, Pile.”                  That was when Silverbuck cast a hasty glance around him. Everywhere he looked was only more of the same—more inflated walls and floor; more bouncy and colorful surfaces alongside mesh nets that sealed off every possible exit, alongside his two dozen fellow trapped guards.                  Silverbuck glared in Pile’s direction. “You just had to pull Discord’s finger, didn’t you?”                  Private Pile shrugged. “But he offered it! What was I supposed to do? Leave him hanging?”                  “Exactly that!” Silverbuck shouted back. “Stay in formation! Protect the Princesses inside the hospital!”                  “But I’ve never even touched a finger before!” Pile tried to explain. “Technically, a claw, but still…”                  Headache getting worse by every word spoken to him, Silverbuck sighed aloud. “One finger pull and look where we are! Stuck in a bouncy castle with no hope of getting back inside to protect the Princesses. Hope you’re happy with yourself, Pile.”                  Pile surprised him with a chuckle. “Well, sort of, I mean…” He angled his head around the large inflated room. “It is a bouncy castle.” With that said, he continued to bounce on the spot, giggling as he got closer and closer to the ceiling area. “I mean, we were denied that barracks trampoline last month.”                  Silverbuck extended a sharp hoof to his bouncing comrade. “That’s why we got the foosball table!”                  Private Pile shook his head at him. “No one likes foosball, sir. No one.”                  “That’s a lie,” Silverbuck spat.                  “Do you like foosball, sir?”                  Silverbuck had to chew on his tongue a moment. “Well… no… but that doesn’t mean no one does!”                  After becoming a tad winded, Private Pile returned to the ground in order to catch his breath. “Also, sir, if we did get out of this bouncy castle right this moment, you know who we’d be up against besides Discord? Queen Chrysalis, King Sombra, Tirek, and whoever this Bad Dude is! And from what I’ve been hearing recently, that colt’s one seriously bad dude.” He paused for a moment. “You hear he actually took three of Princess Celestia’s personal cookies?”                  Silverbuck grumbled. “That was only a rumor, Pile.”                  To add weight to his next statement, Private Pile laid a hoof on one of Silverbuck’s shoulders. “What if, sir, the only way to actually escape the bouncy castle is to become one with the bouncy castle?”                  Silverbuck roughly flicked Pile’s hoof away. “I think you’ve somehow already bounced your brains to mush, Private.”                  Unperturbed, Pile continued on regardless, “Discord’s weird, right? And sneaky! So maybe if we have enough fun inside his elaborate trap—instead of, say, moping around the entire time—then maybe that’ll end up setting us free!”                  Fearing he would soon start screaming and screaming and not be able to stop screaming anytime soon, Silverbuck relaxed himself by closing his eyes and performing a calming breathing technique he’d learned back in the academy. Only when he felt more or less in control of his screams, did he face Pile again.                  He asked him thickly, “How did a private like you ever get onto the Princess Protection Program?”                  “My cousin,” Pile answered without hesitation. “He put in a good word for me.”                  Silverbuck could only shake his head at that. “I doubt even Princess Twilight Sparkle herself knows a more magical word than the one your cousin must’ve used to get you this job. Alas, we shall bounce—not because I want to, mind you, but only because I believe to have found a way out. See for yourself, Private Pile.”                  Using a hoof, Silverbuck pointed to the gap in the inflated ceiling above him.                  Private Pile cocked a brow. “A way out?”                  “Perhaps,” Silverbuck answered, before speaking to the rest of the guards in the room. “Listen up! Listen up, all of you! Up above our heads might just be our way out of here, but to get there, we’ll need to bounce much higher than normal safety rules would allow in bouncy castles. Yes, I am indeed talking about the super fun, but dangerous double bounce. If anyone—”                  Silverbuck’s sentence was cut short when a good portion of his guards either gasped in surprise or giggled underneath their helmets. Before continuing, Silverbuck growled deep within his throat.                  “If anyone has any problems with that, let them speak now. And make sure that before anyone starts to bounce, they first remove all weapons and armor. I don’t want someone falling and hurting themselves or injuring others. Same goes with timing your bounces correctly. Make sure any guards surrounding you are being looked after and remain safe. And perhaps most importantly, remember—we are not bouncing inside this bouncy castle for fun. This is super serious business here and if anyone should ask us what happened once we get out of this place, the answer is we only jumped inside this bouncy castle because it was a matter of life and death.”                  Steeling himself, Silverbuck said, “Now someone double bounce me before I lose my nerve.”   ***   To no one’s real surprise, the opening in the ceiling only led them all to another section of colorful inflatable floor. As far as Silverbuck knew, regular bouncy castles contained a single square room and sometimes a slide attachment. Discord’s bouncy castle must’ve been much larger than any in existence.                  It was literally a castle-sized bouncy castle.                  As Silverbuck and his guards bounced up another hallway in search of an exit, Private Pile kept as close to the sergeant as he could. Already, Pile was loudly panting from the never-ending bouncing.                  “This bouncy castle’s kinda spooky, don’t you think?” Pile asked him, letting out a single shaky breath.                  It was true. Discord’s bouncy castle was a bit scary, with its boarded up windows and cobweb-coated inflatable furniture and chandeliers. It even had inflatable squeaking doors that sometimes slammed shut without warning or proper provocation.                  “You don’t think it’s,” Private Pile muttered out nervously, “haunted, do you, sir?”                  Silverbuck wanted to roll his eyes at him, but didn’t want to tempt his growing headache anymore than he had to. “What? You think this bouncy castle’s haunted, Pile? What’s next? Bouncy castle ghosts?”                  Private Pile shot a hoof to his mouth as his eyes widened. “You think so, sir? Do you think they’d still float around like normal ghosts would or that they’d bounce around instead because they’re haunting a bouncy castle instead of a regular castle?”                  Silverbuck had to shut his eyes again. If these are the types of guards protecting the Princesses, they never really had a chance to begin with, did they?                  He shot a look behind him at the rest of his guards. “Anyone else want to converse with me besides him? Please? No takers?”                  Private Pile seemed not to hear what he’d said. “You think bouncy castle ghosts say ‘Boo’? Or ‘Woo’, because they’re actually having a lot of fun while scaring ponies? I know if I ended up haunting a candy store, I wouldn’t mind it much… then again, ghosts don’t technically eat, do they?”                  “Ow! My leg!” someone shrieked behind them.                  Spinning on the spot, Silverbuck hurried over to the injured guard, sprawled out on the inflated castle floor. He had both forelegs wrapped around one of his ankles.                  “What happened?” Silverbuck barked out.                  “I think I twisted my ankle,” the injured guard whimpered out. “I can’t keep on bouncing like this, sir… we’ve been inside here for so long already… like ten minutes now!”                  Silverbuck knelt down beside his fallen guard, lifting their head up to look at him. He told him earnestly, “Not once in my career have I ever left a single guard behind, and that’s not about to change tonight. If I can’t bounce for you, then I’ll just have to bounce for both of us!”                  With that said, Silverbuck gritted his teeth to lift the guard onto his back and continue onwards; the added weight only making his bounces even higher than before.   ***   My dearest Flower Petal,                  I have been stuck inside this horrible bouncy castle of Discord’s for the last ninety-one minutes and am starting to fear that I might never glimpse your beautiful face again. All around me, I see guards with injured knees, sprained ankles, and pained expressions. What started off as something fun has grown into something much, much different—spirits have dropped dramatically and even the originally joyful Private Pile had grown sullen in the last few moments inside here. Please, tell our daughter that I am sorry I shall never see her again and that I love her very much. But, please, also warn her about the dangers of bouncy castles and only staying inside one for a few minutes at a time. Tell everyone you can before it’s too late! Forever yours, Royal Sergeant Silverbuck the Third P.S. I’ve just now realized I have no real way of sending this to you, so I’ll have to make do by giving you this heartfelt letter the next time I see you. Maybe still act surprised? Anyways, I must go—another one of my guards has come down with “bouncy castle fever” and I fear it might be contagious. Curse you, seemingly fun bouncy castle! Curse you all the way to Heck!