Fruit Stands And Bowling Balls
“What did that little kid say?” someone from the murmuring crowd said.
“Isn’t he a little young for a mustache?” asked someone else.
“What’s this all about? Ponies are yelling and now I’m curious about what they’re all yelling about!” shouted one last member of the crowd.
On the small stage, Flam nudged Bad Dude’s shoulder in order to get his attention. In return, Bad Dude roughly cleared his throat. He faced the anxious audience again. “Greetings, Ponyville! How are you all doing today?”
A drop of sweat rolled down Bad Dude’s head as not a single pony answered his rather simple question.
“Tough crowd, I see!” Flim exclaimed from behind Bad Dude, stepping to the center of the stage. “I only hope you’ll all loosen up when you hear about our amazing offer today!”
“Did someone say amazing, Flim?” Flam loudly asked his brother.
“Why yes, Flam!” Flim replied. “Yes, I did! Because of the deal we have today, you’ll all be—”
“What’s that colt’s name?”
That lone voice in the crowd made Bad Dude seize up on the spot. Out of the thick of ponies walked out Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo; Sweetie Belle’s brows furrowed while she looked up at the three of them.
Sweetie Belle asked them, “I know you’re the Flim Flam brothers, but who’s that? He looks so… familiar?” She turned to her friends. “Doesn’t he, girls?”
“Sort of,” Apple Bloom answered.
“Maybe it’s the mustache,” Scootaloo added helpfully. “Not many colts with mustaches these days.”
Flam awkwardly pulled on his bow tie for a moment. “Haven’t we introduced the third Flim Flam brother? Oh, dear! Where is my head today? This here is little… Flan! Yep! Let’s go with that!”
Sweetie Belle frowned. “Flim, Flam, and Flan?”
“Yes, indeed!” Flim shouted. “Our mother hated us all equally! But please be patient, sweet child o’ mine! We’ve got to get to our wonderful deal right this very second!”
Flam raised one of his hooves into the air. “Who here’s heard about the heroic pegasus known as Rainbow Dash?”
Most of the crowd raised their hooves.
“And who here’s heard about her terrible accident at the Crystal Empire? Fighting for your basic rights to live freely and party hearty?”
Again, most of the crowd raised a hoof.
Flim gave an exaggerated sigh. “Then, of course, you must know that she has been left in a terrible state from that fight—clinging to life as hard as I would cling to a stack of coins. Doctors say she has days—neigh, hours—left to live. And you know what her last request was?”
A lone stallion in the crowd burst out in tears. “What!? Tell us! Please!”
In a hushed tone, Flam told the audience, “That every home in Ponyville would have their very own collectable Rainbow Dash figurine up on their mantle place—all so that her memory would live on for generations to come.”
Flim rested his head on Flam’s shoulder. “I can’t think of anything nobler than that. Rainbow Dash truly is the hero Ponyville deserves.” Gingerly, he glanced at the listening audience. “Now if only there were some decent ponies with bits nearby that would grant Rainbow Dash her last wish…”
The crowd reacted like a cannon had gone off; rushing to the stage while grabbing at their sacks of bits. It was only when Sweetie Belle and her friends stepped in front of them that they halted what they were doing.
“Wait!” Apple Bloom yelled to them. “Don’t you realize what they’re trying to do? This is Flim and Flam, remember? They’re con artists!”
“Hey, kid!” Flam protested. “I’ll sue you for defamation of character! Why… we’ve only tried robbing from this town twice! That’s like… less than five. That isn’t so bad.”
“Whatever happened to third chances?” Flim asked Apple Bloom. “Is Discord the only creature in Equestria that gets those these days?” He lowered his head sadly. “And here I thought Ponyville was the most accepting of towns… turns out it was Manehattan all along…” He let his sentence dangle in the air as the crowd began to fume.
“Manehattan!?” someone screamed. “More accepting than Ponyville? I’ll show them who’s accepting! Here! Take my bits and even more bits! Think you brothers could babysit my kids next week unsupervised?”
A mare in the crowd patted the screaming pony’s shoulder. “Now that there sounds like some genuine Ponyville-style acceptance!”
That Manehattan remark seemed to do the trick. Like a raging flood, all members of the audience rushed to the stage to give either Flim or Flam their bits so the brothers could record their information in order to be “sent” their very own Rainbow Dash figurine later on. Try as they might to dispel them, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were plainly ignored.
Flam broke away from collecting bits to whisper to Bad Dude. “This crowd’s a bunch of idiots. Show them the toy and seal the deal, kid.”
Bad Dude gave a nod and grabbed their lone Rainbow Dash doll from the tent. When he came back to the front of the stage, he held it above his head like some long lost artifact. “Behold! One of these could be in your own home! Isn’t that neat?”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “That toy looks nothing like Rainbow Dash. And since when was she at death’s door? All three of us saw her less than a day ago.”
A stallion about to hoof over his sack of bits turned to them. “Is this true, Flan?”
Bad Dude’s cheeks reddened as he grasped for the best possible defense. “Nu-uh!”
The stallion turned to Scootaloo. “Is this true, Scootaloo?”
Sweetie Belle growled deep within her throat. “Nothing about this is right! Flim and Flam are only taking advantage of everyone again!” She pointed a hoof right at Bad Dude. “And what’s with that mustache? It doesn’t even match your mane or tail. It must be fake!”
“Is this true—” was as far as the random stallion got out before Sweetie Belle jumped off her friend’s back to land on the stage. Before anyone could move, she used her horn to rip off the fake mustache on Bad Dude’s face.
Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and her gasped.
“It’s Sweet Glaze!” Apple Bloom yelled.
Scootaloo shook her head. “No, it’s not. Look! He’s wearing a cape! Sweet Glaze doesn’t wear capes. That means—”
“That means it’s actually Bad Dude!” Sweetie Belle finished for her.
There was only a moment of silence in the air before all heck broke loose in Ponyville.
***
“Run! Quick! Before Bad Dude melts your eyes out with his heat vision!”
Up on the stage, Bad Dude gulped dryly. “I don’t do that! Honest!”
“Let’s get out of here! It’s only a matter of time until Bad Dude drinks the very innocence out of your soul and becomes even cuter than before!”
“That’s…” Bad Dude pursed his lips. “That’s oddly specific, but I don’t do that, either!”
As every member of the crowd ran in all directions away from the stage, only three ponies stayed behind. Sweetie Belle took another step closer to Bad Dude. “Just what are you planning, Bad Dude? Are you going to destroy Ponyville like you did with the Crystal Empire?”
Apple Bloom’s eyes shot open. “What? Destroying Ponyville? Not my farm! I’ve already rebuilt that thing like three times this year!”
Bad Dude was shaking his head as he backed away from Sweetie Belle. “No! That wasn’t the plan! We were only going to take some bits from everyone! That’s it!”
Scootaloo helped Apple Bloom up onto the stage, then climbed up herself. “Seems a little tame, if you ask me. Where’re the bits going, Bad Dude? Some super giant laser to cut Equestria in half?”
“Laser?” Bad Dude questioned.
“Now Bad Dude’s got a laser!?” a frantic pony running by screamed. “Everyone run for your lives!”
“That’s it!” Sweetie Belle trumpeted. “We’re taking you in, Bad Dude! For we are the Equestrian Villain Incarceration League! And my sister will be super, super proud once my friends and I put a stop to you!”
Bad Dude thought on that. “Equestrian Villain Incarceration League? So you’re actually… E.V.I.L.?”
“You bet we are! And we are sworn to stop—” Apple Bloom started, before realizing something. “Wait. Why did none of us notice that before? We don’t want ponies thinking we’re ‘evil’, do we?”
Scootaloo shrugged. “Then just say the full name, Apple Bloom. Like: ‘Here’s the Equestrian Villain Incarceration League at your service!’”
Apple Bloom blanched. “The whole thing? No pony has time for that, Scootaloo!”
Sweetie Belle turned to them. “She’s sort of right. By the time we’re done saying our team’s full name, any villain we may be after could escape and—”
“Like what Bad Dude’s doing right now?” Scootaloo asked.
They all turned to find Bad Dude jumping off the stage and hurrying towards the center of town. Without much thought, they all trailed close behind him.
***
Bad Dude’s cape bounced aimlessly on his back as he hurried up the street. Where exactly was he going? He hadn’t a clue. All he knew was that it had to be in the opposite direction of the three fillies in hot pursuit of him.
Quickly, he spared a glance to his side and exhaled in relief. “Flim! Flam! Help me! There’re three fillies chasing me and—”
Flim and Flam stopped loading their wagon with sacks of bits to turn to him. “Sorry, kiddo!” Flam told him earnestly. “The scam’s been compromised, you see, so that means that my brother and I need to get outta town! But if it makes you feel any better, this distraction of yours is giving us the perfect opportunity to escape! Have a good one!”
“But—” Bad Dude squeaked out, before he decided it best to save his breath.
A few moments later, Bad Dude entered the marketplace and narrowly avoided crashing into a fruit stand. Hurrying along, he heard one of the fillies chasing him plow into it instead. That was good. That would give him a moment to gain some distance between—
“Ow!”
While in mid-thought, Bad Dude avoided another fruit stand only to run muzzle-first into a stand loaded with small cactus plants and bowling balls. Holding his nose, he fell to the ground and sniffled quietly.
“Watch out where you're runnin', colt!” the owner of the stand exclaimed. “You might’a damaged one of my bowling balls with ya face!”
Bad Dude got back to his hooves and mentally added “The Owner of the Hard and Pointy Object Stand” to his growing list of C.U.T.E. enemies. Then he rounded the closest corner he could find.
“Crap! A dead end!” Bad Dude yelped, as all that was at the end of the alleyway was a trashcan and a tall chain-link fence.
Bad Dude spun around to escape, but Apple Bloom had already blocked the exit. Soon Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo joined her.
Bad Dude pointed a hoof above their heads. “Look! A sale on bows!”
Apple Bloom whirled around. “Really? Where?”
Scootaloo sighed. “Stay focused, Apple Bloom. We’ve got him cornered.”
Sweetie Belle took another step closer to Bad Dude. “Come with us quietly, Bad Dude, and I promise that…” Her mouth hung open for a moment. “Well, I promise that things will be a whole lot quieter if you come with us quietly.”
Adamantly, Bad Dude shook his head. “I don’t want to! I’m Bad Dude! And Bad Dude never surrenders!”
“You need to stop what you’re doing, Bad Dude,” Apple Bloom implored him. “There’re ponies from the Crystal Empire staying at my farm because of you. You destroyed their home. Stop all this craziness before you do something even worse.”
Bad Dude was at a momentary loss for words. “I… what? The Empire’s fine. We just didn’t take it over yet. But we’ll try again soon, I’m sure.”
“Enough talk!” Scootaloo said. “Let’s get him!”
The three fillies stormed up the alleyway, causing Bad Dude to retreat and climb atop the lone trashcan near the fence. Although it gave him a boost up, it was nowhere near high enough to let him jump the fence. It seemed as if the end was near, until:
“I know! Discord!”
Bad Dude hurriedly reached into the small backpack under his cape to retrieve the silver whistle Discord had given to him right before going to see Sombra. With any luck, Discord would come once he gave it a blow. So he did.
And nothing happened.
Bad Dude’s ears flattened. “Discord? Help! Please?”
He blew again. And nothing happened.
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “We’re not afraid of whistles, Bad Dude.”
“Yeah! Only Rarity is!” Sweetie Belle added, before she used her horn to shake the trashcan Bad Dude was on.
Bad Dude had to concentrate not to fall to the street below. That was when something else came to mind. He opened his eyes up wide and stuck out his bottom lip. “Please don’t turn me in! Please? I’m really sorry and promise not to do it again! Pretty please?”
The three fillies all looked at each other.
“What’s he doing?” Apple Bloom asked.
“I think he’s trying to be cute,” Sweetie Belle answered. “You know—his special talent.”
“Does anyone feel anything?” Apple Bloom asked.
The three fillies shook their heads.
“I guess it might not work on foals all that well.”
Bad Dude stomped a hoof on the trashcan lid. “No way! I totally got you!”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Then you missed. But here… take my super powered Apple Breath Attack!”
She lightly blew into the air. Nothing happened.
Now Apple Bloom stomped a hoof. “Hey! That was a direct hit! You should fall down now, Bad Dude!”
Bad Dude disagreed. “Nope! That’s because… uh… my cape has invisible protection against all apple related attacks! Yep! It sure does!”
“Now you’re just cheating! It can’t do all—”
That was when Sweetie Belle jammed a hoof into Apple Bloom’s mouth.
“What are you doing, Apple Bloom?” she asked, before retrieving her slobbery hoof.
Apple Bloom shrugged. “I dunno. I thought we were playing good ponies and bad ponies.”
“But this is real! This is Bad Dude and he needs to be stopped!”
Bad Dude yelped when something fell onto his back. He turned his head and found a familiar sight straddling him, as light as a feather.
“Discord!” Bad Dude greeted happily. “Where’ve you been? I used the whistle and everything!”
Grinning widely, Discord informed him, “I heard. And then I came. And then I watched this cute little fight from a distance while eating gumballs. Didn’t think I was going to break up this adorable little battle yet, did you?” He directed his attention to the three fillies on the ground. “Hello, girls. Finish all your homework this week?”
Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes at him. “Get out of here, Discord! You’re even worse than Bad Dude here! Now we’re going to take him to Twilight!”
Discord loudly groaned. “Boring. Oh, so boring. Oddly enough, I don’t think I’ll be doing anything you ponies want. That just wouldn’t be like me. But what I will do is give Bad Dude the slightest of reprieves. Everyone ready? Okay. Here we go!”
Using his eagle’s claw, Discord snapped his fingers and Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo were instantly teleported to the mouth of the alleyway again. A second later, Bad Dude’s shoulders dropped. He was still trapped. Nothing had changed, right?
“Oh. Awesome.”
The fence behind him had been given a colt-sized hole at its bottom.
The chase continued.
***
Bad Dude rushed through another section of town, hopeful to finally lose the trio of fillies behind him. Sadly, every time he turned around and looked, it felt as if they only gained on him. Maybe Bad Dude needed more exercise and fewer sweets in his life. It was hard, though. Tic, Tac, and Toe all cooked excellent breakfast items.
As he trotted towards the newer end of town, he caught sight of a trio of homes in the middle of being built. The basic frames had been made for each of them and most of their walls and roofs had been complete—all that was left to do was the doors and window frames. A “DANGER—CONSTRUCTION” sign had been set up out front.
“Look out! It’s Bad Dude!” yelled one of the workers.
This started another wave of ponies clambering to get away from him. At least this time, Bad Dude was a bit more prepared. “Wait!” he spoke, as innocently as he could. “Don’t run away from me, okay? Just… walk as you normally would.”
The dozen or so workers stopped in mid-sprint and did as they were told, almost as if hypnotized. The few that weren’t looking in Bad Dude’s direction as he spoke continued to run away as if their manes were on fire. A few crashed into more nearby fruit stands.
“Knock it off, Bad Dude!” Apple Bloom yelled from behind him.
Bad Dude didn’t bother to turn; instead running into one of the unfinished houses. He dashed across the room and hid behind a stack of leftover planks.
He could hear them enter the building behind him.
“Where’d he get to now?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Maybe he’s on the second floor,” Scootaloo suggested. “I’ll go check it out.”
Something cracked.
“Be careful on those stairs, Scootaloo. They might not be finished yet.”
Scootaloo snorted. “I’m always careful, Sweetie Belle. It’s not like this place is gonna fall apart or—”
Now something loudly snapped. A bit of sawdust fell from the ceiling.
“Get off of there, Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle yelled to her.
Bad Dude looked up just in time to glimpse the ceiling above him crack and split. He dove to the side to narrowly avoid a bathtub falling through the floor above him.
“Children! There is no escape! You must come with me if you want to live!”
Bad Dude could’ve recognized that deep voice from anywhere. Exiting from his hiding spot, he shouted, “Shadow Shield! Get them out of here! This place isn’t safe!”
Bad Dude watched as Scootaloo leapt off the collapsing staircase and into the hooves of her friends on the ground. After the dust settled, the half-built home stopped creaking altogether.
“Shadow Shield?” Sweetie Belle questioned uneasily. “Oh, no! That means Bad Dude has back up! We need to get out of here!”
By the entrance to the house, the tall, dark, and imposing Shadow Shield held out an armored hoof to the three of them. “Girls! It is I, Shining Armor! Fear not! Come to me and try not to touch any of the support beams. This place is very fragile right now. Bad Dude! Come here! I don’t want to see you getting hurt, either.”
“Shining Armor!?” Sweetie Belle squeaked. “That means Bad Dude turned him into a villain somehow! That means we can’t trust him, girls!”
Shadow Shield shook his head. “No, Sweetie Belle. It is only the armor that makes me seem much eviler than I am. Please, don’t do anything fool—”
“Only a true villain would say that!” Scootaloo interjected. “Trying to gain our trust with lies! Quick! Let’s do the exact opposite of what he said!”
While the three fillies ran in the opposite direction of the looming figure blocking the doorway, Shadow Shield sighed deep within his armor. His first hulking step into the building cracked the fresh wood underneath him, sending a row of jagged cracks rippling across the floor.
Apple Bloom turned back for only a second, but when she did, she accidentally ran directly into one of the building’s support beams, knocking it an inch out of place. This caused the house to moan like some wounded animal—before everything began to break apart around them.
Bad Dude could only shake his head from the sight. How could three small fillies cause so much destruction in such a short amount of time?
“Hurry!” Bad Dude called to them. “I’ll give you a boost out the window!”
As planks of wood and solid red bricks came crashing down around them, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo ran to Bad Dude and stopped in a huff.
Below an unfinished windowsill, Bad Dude lowered himself like a stepping stool. “Jump on! You should be able to reach the window if I give you a boost.”
Apple Bloom stared at him confused. “Why would you want to help us? You’re a villain. Villains only want to hurt ponies.”
“That’s not true,” Bad Dude said dourly. “Villains don’t always need to hurt others—maybe some of them only want attention for once. Or maybe—”
All the air in Bad Dude’s chest shot out of his mouth as Scootaloo jumped on his back and onto the windowsill. She turned back to them, “We don’t have time for speeches! We need to escape!”
The two remaining fillies gave a curt nod and used Bad Dude to propel themselves to their friend. When they got their balance back, they all reached out a hoof towards Bad Dude. Just then Bad Dude heard an extra large cracking sound above him.
“Get out of here!” he shouted to the three of them before shoving them out the window.
A wide section of the second floor came crashing down, blocking the open windowsill and cancelling Bad Dude’s closest escape route. That collapse started a chain reaction, as the entire two-story wall started to drop inwards and directly towards Bad Dude.
“Get down,” spoke Shadow Shield, covering Bad Dude wholly with his armored frame.
***
Safely on the street outside, Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo could only watch as the house they’d just been in collapsed to its side, colliding with the unfinished house next to it. Once that house was hit, it, too, fell to its side and took out the third unfinished house on the block.
When all was said and done, there was little else but rubble and bits of wood in their wake.
“You think Bad Dude’s okay?” Sweetie Belle asked sheepishly. “I mean… I never meant to get him hurt or anything.”
“I’m sure he’s fine, Sweetie Belle,” Scootaloo tried to reassure her, even if her overall tone still held some worry. “Villains never really die, remember? We all thought King Sombra was dead, but he’s still around somehow.”
Apple Bloom gulped dryly. “But Sombra was a real villain. Bad Dude just saved us in there. What kind of villain even does that?”
Scootaloo answered, “A very confused one, I guess.”
***
“You’re both welcome,” Discord spoke snidely, back inside of Shining Armor’s personal quarters in their fortress. “I won’t bother mentioning this to the others, because truthfully it doesn’t make me look all that good. Saving ponies from severe injury or death? Bah. That doesn’t sound all that Discord-ish. Plus it’s my job to explain to your parents in the likely event you die in some random accident, Bad Dude, and that just seems like a lot of unnecessary work.”
Bad Dude and Shining Armor were huddled close to the ground in the exact same position as they’d been inside of the collapsing house. Only now, Shining Armor’s cumbersome armor had been removed, leaving him with only a single sock on his horn.
“You saved—” was as far as Bad Dude got, before the door to the room swung open and Sombra stuck his head inside.
“Bad Dude? A word, please?”
Bad Dude gulped and trotted to him. Once out in the hall, Sombra shut the door behind them and knelt down to Bad Dude.
“I just heard what happened in Ponyville,” Sombra started delicately, “and I must say I am most disappointed.”
Bad Dude’s ears flattened. “You are? But… but…”
Sombra thought for a moment. “Wait. I meant to say ‘impressed’. I’m terrible with words sometimes. I am most impressed by what I’ve heard.”
A small smile grew on Bad Dude’s face. “Oh?”
Sombra nodded. “At first I heard only of some petty scam involving toys and ponies’ bits, but then I learned of your true nefarious deed and—my, oh, my, Bad Dude—I had no idea you had it in you.”
“Had what in me?”
Sombra smiled warmly. “First you instigate a town-wide panic. Then you start a marvelous chase scene in the heart of Ponyville. Then, and best of all, you destroy not one, but three homes meant for refugees from the Crystal Empire. You really know how to kick 'em when they’re down, don’t you? Plus you got the friends and relatives of the Elements of Harmony to do your dirty work?” He chuckled good-naturedly. “I hope you’re not planning on doing something terrible to me soon, Bad Dude! You’re a stone cold monster!”
“I am?” Bad Dude muttered.
“I’m sorry I ever doubted you, my young prince.” Sombra wrapped Bad Dude up in a hug and kissed his forehead. “You have done well, Bad Dude. I’m sorry for the tough love. But…”
“But?” Bad Dude asked uneasily.
“But you know what this means now, don’t you?” Sombra displayed his fangs to him. “This is cause for a celebration—a big one. In a few days' time, our group will be hosting its very own ‘villains only’ party. Only the evilest of the evil will be allowed to attend.”
Discord snapped himself into the hall beside Sombra. “I hope there’ll be some pineapple pizza there.”
Sombra rolled his eyes. “We want prospective villains to actually attend, don’t we? Not some mad ponies that like pineapple on pizza for some reason.”
“That’s why I put my pizza on pineapple. Much tastier that way.”
As Discord strolled away, Sombra gave Bad Dude another tight hug. As nice as it was having gained Sombra’s trust again, something still stole over Bad Dude’s attention.
Like exactly what had happened at the Crystal Empire that he wasn’t aware of.
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I’m not sure if it’s intentional, but I read it as:
Tic, Tac, and Toe all constitute excellent breakfast items.
lambda.sx/KC2.png
I know it’s a Google Docs/Word problem, but I still want to point out that the apostrophe (in ’em) is facing the wrong way.
Wait, he doesn’t know? (skims previous few chapters)
Oh Bad Dude, make up your mind! All this uncertainty can't be good for you, you'll have an ulcer by the time you've built your 1st evil empire. Do you really want to be known as Bad Dude the Peptic?
I have been egarly awaiting this chapter! And you, sir,did not disappoint. I wish I could like more than once!
I like pineapple on my pizza... but then again, I also hate tomato sauce.
7131763
only a truly nefarious character would ever dream of putting fruit on pizza!
.... makes sense that discord puts pizza on his pineapple
I just want you to know, Tic, Tac and Toe are my some of my favorite characters.
I demand more time in the limelight for them.
Mmm, pineapple and ham pizza.
So... The CMC are a bigger danger to Ponyville than Bad Dude ever could. No surprise there.
Still kinda hoping for a happy ending for the villains.
7131763 I love any pizza. I even eat Anchovies, jalapenos, you name it!
personally I find ''Regarding Falling Villains'' your cutest and happiest story.
That's right, Discord. Only a true villain would put pineapple on a pizza. Also, I have a strange craving for flan now.
Was that AN a Watchmen reference?!?!
I loved this chapter man :D There's some real and internal conflict brewing now!
7131744
This is gonna get sad, isn't it...
7132112 Pineapple on pizza is AMERICAN!!! And everything from AMERICA is evil and bad!
Communists everywhere say so, and we can always trust the communists!
7132363
Hah! That's what they want you to think. The secret truth is that Hawaiian pizza was invented in *gasp* CANADA! Known harborers of Socialists, they are even rumored to put filth like mayonnaise or cheese-curds and gravy on the quintessential American cuisine -- FRENCH FRIES! And now those filthy reds have befouled our beloved pizza with their pineapple and "back bacon" in an attempt to demoralize the bastion of capitalism and goodness and awesomeness that is AMERICA! It is the duty of all right thinking patriots to deny those frozen pinkos to the north the opportunity to destroy this great country with this fruit-covered atrocity!
... There's more than one way to take that, you know. Not sure if cannibal or normal gourmet...!
Oh my God now I want to eat pizza beacause of the comments damnit
Your reply to my comment last chapter about the many Sombras gave me an idea to my own fanfiction.
Five random celebrities turning into Sombra and getting send to Equestria for no reason.
Batman and Deadpool are one of them...
What do you think?
oh and... could you add more Sombras to this Story?
I need a visual of Shadow Shield's armor.
Shining Armor is really letting his guard down, he's slipping into the role casted by his outfit like some kind of improv actor!
But..... isn't pineapple piazza just vegetarian Hawaiian?
And not on his list of potential villains? The attitude would fit with a villain! Just imagine a villain with cactus armor and bowling balls! Maybe even bowling balls with cactus needles?
He doesn't know?!
Well, that at least explains why he didn't say anything about it. I was wondering why he was not having an argument with his group.
Oh dear.... I better make sure when the next few chapters come out that Ive been securely strapped to my chair for I fear I will be making a desperate attempt to run away from my computer :D
If we get meta enough Bad Dude could be responsible for the ULTIMATE act of evil...
...preventing Derpy from speaking for 60 episodes and getting her a name change.
At some point Twilight will decide to fight fire with fire, and summon Fluffle Puff from an alternate universe.
The world will then be destroyed from the ensuing duel, due to an over-saturation of the thamatic dawwabeties field.
And there's you're dark.
Hmmmm, thinking about this. all the Villainous actions that the group does would put most of the blame on Bad Dude, his group destroyed a small empire which would put other countries on high alert. Foreign relations and trade would take a major hit as time goes on and the royals don't even catch him will only show further incompetence on a global scale with the power he's mustered out of the blue.
Another reason why E.V.I.L. is a threat to Bad Dude. They're immune to his cute powers.
I've said it before, but I'll say it again. Discord seems to be C.U.T.E.'s best ally and their worst enemy, since he does whatever he wants to do. His chaotic, unpredictable, and free-willing nature could either make C.U.T.E. an awesome team or bring an end to the group.
Oh wow. That's...pretty awesome for Bad Dude.
Looks like what the CMC said to him is still hanging over his head....
That was a fun chapter to read. Glad to see E.V.I.L. in action for the first time.
If fluffle puff met bad dude and gave him a hug while jumping around chrysalis would the world just explode from an overload of cuteness!
Heh outstanding. Bad Dude managed to accidentally his way into Sombra's heart once more. But it's drawing even closer to the time for him to hit that wall. The wall of just how bad he is and is willing to be. And kids sure aren't supposed to go through existential crisis like that at his age. It aint good for the mind. I love how Sombra was so proud of his little adoptive son. I can just see the glimmer of blood red in his eye.
As for that last part there, hilarious. But I think I'll hang up my speculation coat finally and just enjoy the ride no matter where it goes. I'll still have my suspicions, but don't nobody got time for waiting for tone shifts. Might as well just enjoy the climb or descent as it comes. Who knows, maybe you're still working out the kinks too
7132338 One “What have I done?!
” moment incoming…
7133349 Yeah, he was kept in the dark about that. In "Empire Part Two" it briefly states that the villains made up "plan B" without him. Bad Dude was also fighting Shining Armor while the Empire was destroyed and him and Shining were then teleported directly back to the fortress.
7132998 I'm not a big fan of crossovers. But I do like the idea of several Sombra's going after the Crystal Empire all at once. Perhaps killing each other and whatnot.
7132467
What did Canada ever do to you?
7132435 Glad you enjoyed my complete lack of ideas.
7132159 That was indeed a Watchmen reference.
7131864
Seriously? I thought that was pretty dark. At points.
7131811 Ever since that short with Tic, Tac, and Toe, I've been trying to think of another one to do, because I really like them too. Something about them going around Ponyville in search of more love or something. Pitch me something for them to do!
7131755 Glad you liked it!
7131744 I'm proud of that "neigh" joke. I'll go the grave with that one.
7135038 Like all terrible puns, I tried not to crack up mid-facepalm, but I couldn’t hold it in
7135038 Sombra was pretty cute in that story, the way his understanding and mentality about friendship changed was very cute. Besides, I love dark comedies.
A funny fact, flurry heart managed what villians before could not do: she almost doomed a city to freezing and destroyed Twillight's attemps to save the city. But everyone loves cute little destroyer, the most accomplished villian in the mlp universe.
Ah ha! I knew you would go dark. It begins...
7135038 I'm glad I like it too!
7135016
Refused to surrender to Benedict Arnold.
But seriously, I like you, my friend. A lesser mind would assume that I was attempting to be humorous, but you can see the truth that I am DEADLY serious in my campaign to protect us from those icy, pineapple-loving bastards to the north. Someone of your obvious wisdom will assuredly be convinced of the rightness of the cause in due time. Savory toppings or death!!
live
___________
Welp. Bad Dude asked for help from Discord, and he ended up on good terms with Sombra again. That was pretty awesome of Dissy.
Although I hope he doesn't end his villainous ways. The world would be a lot sadder without Bad Dude in it T_T.
So... Bad Dude notices that the CMC's group is E.V.I.L, and yet doesn't notice that his own is C.U.T.E. Or has he? I can't remember.
7132467 the pineapple pizza was made in Canada. On Earth! Which is of course, in Canada.
Child innocence saves the day... sort of... not really.
The first clash between the forces of E.V.I.L. and C.U.T.E. a hilarious moment.
Bad Dude is certainly starting to feel his conscience now. Best we get rid of that before it gets him in trouble.
7132467 YOU'RE RIGHT!!!
Damned Canadians! THIS MEANS WAR!!
*And so, the "South Park" movie happens... again...*
7136505
They aren't wrong, only bad dude wears the cape
That’s right! NO one does tolerance like Ponyville. "Why he can date my wife while they’re at it! Who wants to date my wife?"
How do three fillies cause so much destruction? Maybe that should be their cutie mark!!!
Villains only party. Uh-oh. I think I know who’s showing up. So that’s why you were asking for fan favorites.
"Quick, let's do the exact opposite of what he said! Do something foolish!"
He should try to recruit them.
SB knows better than to make unkeepable promises.
Although I'm sure his altered voice was previously described as deep and ominous, I don't care: I'm imagining Shining speaking with Arnie's voice from now on.
I would be severely disappointed if he doesn't say, "Get to da choppa!" at some point in the story.