Pinkie Pie awoke in bed and immediately threw her covers to the floor. Something wasn’t right, she thought. Something wasn’t right at all. Someone was having a party in Equestria right that very moment and she hadn’t been invited. Hadn’t even been thought of, at all. That very notion nearly caused her blood to boil and split her skin.
In rage, she gritted her teeth together. “Those jerky-jerks! Having a party without me!? Don’t they know that there’s no kind of party like a Pinkie Pie party?”
Then another thought swiftly pulled at her.
“But who would be having a party so late into the night without me knowing? Unless they didn’t want to be known. Perhaps a… secret party?”
Pinkie Pie gave her head a shake. It wasn’t making sense. None of this was. Those three silent foals in her store the other day asking for the punch bowl in the shape of a skull? Paying for it all with a sack full of bits they couldn’t possibly have earned by themselves? No. None of it was adding up.
Pinkie whirled on the spot to point a sharp hoof at Gummy perched on a shelf.
“Gummy! Take a letter! Dear Twilight Sparkle...” Pinkie began eloquently, before she started screaming aloud. “BLARGH! The Coalition of United Terrible Evils is having a party right this instant and I wasn’t even invited! Good grief!” Then she took a breath to calm herself. “Signed, your dearest friend, Pinkie Pie. Got all that, Gummy?”
Across the room, Gummy didn’t even blink at her. He just continued to stare into the void as the void stared back in return.
Pinkie Pie only snorted. “Oh, right. You’ve never written letters before. I must’ve been thinking of Spike again. All you reptiles look alike to me. Never mind! Still, this seems like a great time to panic, so I will!”
With that said, Pinkie Pie began galloping around the room before leaping out her bedroom window in the direction of Twilight’s house—broken glass and terrified screams and all.
***
“Just what do you think you’re doing?” Lightning Dust yelled, as she opened and folded her wings again and again in clear irritation. She blew a bit of sweat drenched mane out of her eyes. “We can’t stop now. We’re almost at Celestia’s castle.”
Completely disregarding her, Gilda polished off the latest bottle of soda in her talons before popping the cap off another one. “Take a chill pill, Dusty. We’re way, way in the lead already. You think anyone else at that stupid party could possibly get there before us? Even if we stop for breaks?”
“But are we stopping for breaks or break-ins?” Lightning Dust snapped.
After hearing the news that whoever could successfully bring Celestia’s crown back to Discord sometime in the next hour would become an honorary member of C.U.T.E., Gilda and Lightning Dust had taken to the skies and zoomed towards the center of Canterlot as fast as their beating wings could carry them. But that was all before Gilda had randomly veered towards a local shop to smash its windows open and break inside. The loot in question? A couple of ice-cold bottles of ginger ale.
Gilda rolled her eyes at the pegasus. “If you’re not having any fun when you’re doing something important, then you’re just plain doing it wrong. That’s my motto. I’ll tell you what, Flappy Bird. I’ll finish this tasty drink. We’ll get back in the air. And then we’ll both have Celestia’s crown back at the party before anyone even knows what’s happened. Sound good, Grumpy Dust?”
Turning her back to her, Lightning Dust quietly muttered to herself, “I am getting so sick of these nicknames.” She then gasped as something zoomed overhead outside. “Oh, crap! We need to get going, Gilda! Right this second!”
Gilda took another sip from her bottle. “Why? Who’s ahead of us?” She took another sip as she pondered about something from before. “And who doesn’t like my clever nicknames?”
Lightning Dust turned to her with a quizzical expression. “I think it was that little colt kid from the party. Not Bad Dude, but the other one—the pegasus. And I think he was carrying something, too. Something metal-looking.”
Angrily, Gilda threw her drink to the floor. “That’s it! I am not getting beaten by some stupid child. If Rainbow Dash ever heard about that, I’d beat myself up for it.” With a loud snapping sound, she swiftly unfurled her wings out to her sides. “Let’s ride!”
***
While they walked, Starlight Glimmer gingerly poked and prodded at Sunset Shimmer’s mane, pursing her lips as she did. “Your mane and tail colors are wonderful, Sunset,” she told the other mare openly. “Who does your dye jobs? I’d just love to have equal quality mane and tail colors as you.”
“Oh… uh…” That question seemed to stall Sunset a bit. “They’re not really from around here, but I could always give you some tips. Actually, before we get sidetracked, let’s take off these hoof-bands they made us wear at the party. They kinda look ridiculous on us right now.”
Two pink-colored strips of paper clung to both of their forelegs. Each one read: “MID-LEVEL VILLAIN” in thick block letters.
Starlight scoffed as she removed her hoof-band with her magic. “Mid-level? Please. That Coalition has no idea what I have planned for Twilight Sparkle in the upcoming months. In fact, I would consider it equal to or greater than anything they’ve come up with so far.”
That latest statement made Sunset’s shoulders slump. “Another unicorn that hates Twilight Sparkle? Seriously?”
Starlight chuckled dryly. “Does this mean we should form a club? I call dibs on bringing snacks—everyone gets two cookies and one glass of punch. No more, no less. Anyways, what’s your problem with the Princess of Purple, Sunset?”
Sunset shrugged absently. “No problem, really. I just don’t like her. Having said that, I don’t hate her, either. Perhaps you could say I’m merely weighing my options at the moment. Not that I had much of a choice in attending tonight’s party; I got an invitation in the mail that literally swallowed me whole and spit me back out on that couch we were sitting on together.”
“Discord?” Starlight suggested.
“Who else?” Sunset stopped in her tracks outside of Celestia’s castle, angling her head to take it all in once more. It had been a long time since she’d been there—the last time she was actually a pony, too. Hopefully Celestia hadn’t done anything outrageous since Sunset had last been there like add extra security or move her treasured crown to some place other than her bedside table.
Sunset raised a brow at Starlight. “Want my help getting that crown back to Discord? Then follow me and stay close. And don’t do anything idiotic while we’re in there.”
***
Bad Dude sat on the lip of the roof with a long blanket pulled up to his chin and a box of buttery popcorn on his lap. While he pleasantly munched away, Tic, Tac, and Toe took to both sides of him and crawled under the blanket to sit and watch events unfold. Instantly, Bad Dude was reminded of the times when his dad would tell scary stories to him and his mom as they huddled under blankets on the couch and gasped in all the right places.
As Tic and Toe nuzzled their heads into Bad Dude’s sides in an effort to get some tasty affection out of him, Discord planted a hoof on the edge of the roof with a grunt. “This… is… so… boring!” he screamed, his high-pitched wail faintly echoing along the deserted streets of Canterlot. “Get on with it already, darn you!”
Less than a minute after Discord had announced his “game” for every possible villain to play, he’d snapped every member of the Coalition to the tallest rooftop in Canterlot to watch all of the chaos unfold. Now came the hardest part for the draconequus. Waiting for the delicious chaos to unfold.
“I could’ve gotten that crown six times by now,” Discord continued to lament, pacing back and forth across the rooftop anxiously.
Bad Dude stopped munching on his popcorn for a moment to ask him, “Who do you hope gets the crown, Discord? I sort of want Trixie to get it. She’s really sure of herself and keeps pulling coins out of my ears somehow. I had no idea just how much money I had in my head!”
Discord waved a limp claw in the air. “I don’t care who gets the crown, honestly. Although a female might be a nice choice. At the moment, it’s kind of a carrot-fest in C.U.T.E., if you catch my drift.”
“I don’t,” Bad Dude replied earnestly.
Growling deep within his throat, Discord painfully ran his claws down his face. “Won’t somebody do something already!? Where’s the explosions and intrigue around here, huh!?”
“Patience, Snake Clown. Good things only come to those who wait.”
Discord and Bad Dude turned to find Sombra and Chrysalis setting up a checkered blanket on the other side of the roof. On a plate, they had a few leftover snacks from the party and in a silver bucket full of ice they had a nicely chilled bottle of champagne. Chrysalis used her magic to pry off the cork and fill up two glasses—levitating one over to Sombra who was seated beside her.
“But let me say this now,” Sombra warned Discord smugly, “this had better work out in our favor, Discord. So far our group has thrived on word of mouth and through immense levels of fear brought about by reputation alone. Each of us has changed the history of Equestria in some way, so each of us deserves a place on this team. Any new members should be able to meet those requirements too.”
Discord planted his hands on his hips. “Meaning?”
“Meaning I don’t wish for no third rate villain to somehow join our team due to random luck alone. Not that unicorn that just so happened to have spit in Luna’s coffee one morning. Not the mare that doodles the ‘Twilight Sparkle Is A Super-Duper Dork’ comic strip in the daily newspaper.”
Sombra’s attention was redirected when Chrysalis rubbed at one of his shoulders with a hoof. “Come now, Sombee. Just relax and enjoy the show. I’m sure only the strong will survive tonight. Isn’t that how we’ve both lasted this long?”
Sombra rolled his eyes but didn’t put a stop to her soft touch. “Don’t call me ‘Sombee’ out in public, Chrysalis. That’s a private name.”
Chuckling, Chrysalis flashed him a wicked grin before pulling him close. “Oh, really? I thought this was your private name.”
That was when she whispered something to him completely out of earshot that made Sombra’s cheeks turn a deep ruby red.
“Such a dirty Queen we have here,” Sombra cooed back. “Such talk cannot go unpunished, I’m afraid.”
Although Bad Dude was unsure of what it all meant, Tic, Tac, and Toe all collectively shivered under the blanket they all shared. Bad Dude glanced their way. “How are you guys cold? We’re under a blanket.”
Discord snapped his fingers and caused Sombra’s head to rip to the side as if suddenly slapped. “Remind me to soundproof your bedrooms from now on. And perhaps steam clean everything you both touch.” He then turned his attention back to the rest of Canterlot to gaze at.
In the wide area below, two female unicorns made their way up the street and in the direction of Celestia’s castle. Down a completely different route, a whole group of teenage dragons slowly marched their way forward in a lumbering stride. Up in the air, a pegasus and a griffon flew atop the roof of Canterlot castle so fast that it would make one’s head spin.
It finally appeared as if things were about to begin. When suddenly…
“Oh, jeeze Louis. Who in Tartarus is that?” Discord pointed to an area of the sky close to the building they were on.
“I think it’s that Bad Dude clone,” Chrysalis informed him, gingerly sipping on her champagne glass. “Nasty Brute or whatever.”
“Terrible Colt,” Bad Dude corrected. “But he looks different somehow, doesn’t he?”
In the starless black sky, Terrible Colt hurriedly flapped his wings in order to keep himself up in the air. At some time prior to that moment, he must’ve done away with his cape and replaced it with a small metal canister tied to his back; a coil tube snaked its way from the canister all the way to a silver rod he held in-between his hooves.
The most notable difference on the colt was the curved metal helmet Terrible Colt had stuck over his head, giving his face the appearance of a silver skull. The fake “ears” on the helmet were made of a soft black material that looked like speakers of sorts. Lastly, it seemed as if a small microphone had been welded to his helmet right over his mouth.
Bad Dude could only furrow his brows and grimace as he noticed all this. “He looks sort of… sinister now. What happened to him?”
“Maybe that’s his villain costume,” Tirek suggested, standing on the edge of the roof with his arms crossed over his chest. “Sometimes when individuals who lack self-esteem want to become noticed, they don costumes much bolder than the individual underneath. Although this colt may call himself ‘Terrible’, I highly doubt he’s anything more—”
“Your peaceful existence has come to an end!”
All eight figures on the rooftop jolted as the blaring and guttural voice made itself heard clear across Canterlot.
“Equestria will burn one city at a time! To resist is to foolishly perish! Terrible Colt shows no mercy and expects none in return!”
When Terrible Colt was finished speaking into his amplified microphone system, he pulled out his short silver rod and pressed a series of buttons on its side, causing it to light up and loudly hum. As he slowed his flight and steadily made his way down the street, Terrible Colt directed the tip of his metal mechanism downwards and shot out a wall of flames a full twelve feet across. As the fire reached the street below, it hungrily devoured the front of shops and any furniture left outside. Six fruit stands included.
As Terrible Colt continued to torch anything in sight, he only laughed and laughed in his synthetically made voice. “Terrible Colt will swallow your soul! All shall be dead by dawn!”
Bad Dude’s mouth became unhinged as Tic, Tac, and Toe all turned to him. In response, all Bad Dude could do was grimace and tell them earnestly, “He seemed a whole lot nicer in person.”
“What a villain!” Sombra bellowed, leaping to his hooves by the edge of the roof. “And he’s cute, too! Wow! He’s burning everything in sight!”
Discord went to stand next to him, pulling on his beard as he spoke. “I usually don’t tend to agree with dark and smelly Kings, but… yeah, this colt’s great!” Discord placed a hand on his belly as he laughed. “So much chaos in such a short amount of time! Already ponies are scurrying out of their homes in fright! This kid might be a natural villain!”
“But… but…” Bad Dude whimpered out on the lip of the roof, dropping his box of popcorn to the street below. “He’s not even going for the crown! He can’t be on the team if he doesn’t get the crown, right?”
Discord and Sombra sighed in unison.
“I’m sure he’s only biding his time—spreading fear like good villains should!” Sombra explained.
Discord then helpfully added, “And once the other contenders see how insane he is, I highly doubt they’ll stick around until the end. I mean, come on! He just said he’d swallow everyone’s soul for Celestia’s sake! What a nutjob! I love him already!”
“But… but do we really need another colt on the team? Honestly?” Bad Dude practically pleaded. “Wouldn’t someone older make a better choice?”
Discord gagged and stuck out his tongue. “You mean like two Tireks, Bad Dude? Don’t be ridiculous. And you and Terrible Colt are nothing alike. I don’t remember you laughing manically when I accidentally set the kitchen on fire while making my burnt toast fort last week.”
“That’s because you singed the tip of my tail by doing that!”
Discord rolled his eyes. “So I gave you a tall torched tail tale to tell. Who cares?”
With rising unease, Bad Dude could only watch helplessly as Sombra and Discord never took their eyes off of Terrible Colt—who was still billowing out fire from the sky and explaining to the evacuating ponies below just what he’d do to them soon enough.
When Bad Dude was sure that no one was paying him any mind, he flipped up the blanket covering him and the changeling trio so it went right over their heads. Once covered, Tic, Tac, and Toe all turned to him curiously.
“I need you three to do me a favor,” Bad Dude spoke in a hushed tone. “I need you to make sure that Terrible Colt does not get Celestia’s crown tonight. Do whatever it takes.”
Tic, Tac, and Toe all nodded at once.